My 2 year old son has recently started screaming a high pitched, very loud scream. He does it in the car, in the house, at the store, anywhere. It is painful to my hears and makes his baby brother cry (which just encourages him to scream more)! I've tried timeouts and telling him that we only scream when we're outside and letting him scream as much as he wants when he's outdoors, but he is still doing it indoors. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Thank you all so much for the different advice! I've been walking away with the baby whenever Barret screams and it seems to be helping. He's doing much better about not screaming in the house and starting to get better in the car. Now he's just screaming at the dinner table when he doesn't like what we're having. Picky, picky!!
Try two good swats on a bare bottom or outer thigh, followed by a stern "no" and firm look square in the eye. It may take a couple of times, but it works.
SAHM of seven
Both my boys were screamers. My now 4 year old screamed all the time that high pitched awful sound. My 15 month old is now doing it and usually out of joy. I think they are just exploring the sounds they can make. I do think if you ignore it it goes away faster. In the mean time invest in some earplugs for you and baby!
Sounds like he has discovered the power he has over his environment. It is pretty neat to be able to control all these people with one little action.
He might stop it sooner if you can somehow ignore it, or as was suggested, remove him from the audience. That high pitch screaming is sooo hard to handle but if you pretend that you can't hear him unless he talks in an appropriate voice, you might get him to stop on his own. Just don't give in to reacting to it because that will feed the behavior.
Almost every child I know has done that high pitch, banshee, type screaming. My 7 year old daughter did the same thing, for about a week. I was able to put a stop to it almost as quickly as it started, and in a very gentle way. When your son starts the screaming, simply flick him in his mouth. NOT hard, not meanly, just be very consistant. Every time he screams, you flick him. He will equate the screaming with the "pain" of getting flicked, and he will stop. I have told every one of my friends who have had the same problem to do the same thing, and within a week, they all have told me that the screaming has stopped.
My two year old has been doing this also lately. I have found that one solution doesn't always work every time. Sometimes I use distraction with him. He screams when his little sister hits him, her new favorite game. So I tell him to tell her that it is OK, or that Hannah is tickling him. This helps half of the time.
When his screaming is because of not getting his way, or because he is having a temper tantrum, then he sits in the naughty corner, and gets no attention until the screaming has stopped.
We have good days and bad, and I encourage them to be as noisy as possible when outside, because my head might explode if I hear another ear piercing scream indoors. Good Luck, hope you find an answer that works for you!
When I read that your child has a very recent addition of a younger sibling, I thought that he may be doing it in reaction to the changes in your family. When I read that he does it more when his younger brother cries, I felt even more comfident in my first inclination. It appears to me that your two year old is exerting his position in the family and assuring that he will still get attention. This will pass. Your two year old is asking for assurance that he is still important in your family and the new baby has not replaced him.
That's the thing about kids--they feel free to do whatever feels good. I wish I could go about my day screaming here or there because that would feel pretty good!! My four year-old likes to 'screetch' and 'whoop' very loudly sometimes. This is easier to stop because I can reason with her, and she is not two.
Here are some ideas:
-give him a kazoo
-give him a harmonica
-get a little one-person pup tent for you to set up in the living room for only him to use...and not necessarily scream in...the thinking here is to majorly distract him so much he forgets to scream. He might be screaming because he is having a hard time corralling his feelings...but I suspect he is just going through a phase and doing what comes naturally.
-buy some opera music and crank it up for him (my kids love to hear the strong singing and they try to sing along)
I can empathize with how you feel. My son is just weeks away from turning 3 and he has been doing the same thing...thanks to my 7-year-old daughter. I used to tell my daughter she could scream her heart out - OUTSIDE - since we lived in the country. Now we are in town and it is disturbing to the neighbors. It has taken a while and many different attempts using different punishment techniques, but we finally got her screaming down to an excited squeal mostly when she is playing. So, as for your little boy, being consistent is the only answer. The problem with letting him scream as much as he wants outside will later prove to be a huge problem in preschool. I would let him know each time that screaming is not needed and makes you think he could be injured. Give a timeout if you feel that passionate about curtailing this problem. Same punishment every time, with ONLY ONE warning, and then an automatic timeout. My friend does this with her 2-year-old and it works wonders for her! I am trying it myself on both of my kids and it seems to be working. Good luck!
K.,
Could you give more info? Is the screaming only when he doesn't get his way or is corrected? Do you know if it occurs at the same time intervals after meals or before or after other scheduled events? I am trying to determine if it is rebellion or if there is something that is setting him off that is beyond his ability to cope before sending a resonse.
Best wishes, C. Storm
You can email me if you want to ____@____.com, but I think we all need more info to respond well to your question.
I really liked annette's advice about ignoring him when he screams instead of giving him the attention he's seeking.
Kids love to test limits and explore everything they can do. Imagine it from his point of view- He's discovered he can make this 'lovely' noise that causes everyone around him to react and immediately pay attention to him! How wonderful!
As mothers, the more attention (positive or negative) we pay to our children's actions, the more they will do the action. Therefore i feel like if he's not getting a reaction from you, then maybe he'll get over his newfound love of screaming.
Try ignoring him when he does it, no eye contact at all, or better yet, pick up the baby and turn your back on your screamer. I liked the leaving the room idea, but i'm not sure how to make him not follow. So i would try leavin the room, but at the very least turn your back. Maybe even talk to the baby to try to calm him down and nothing to the older son.. He will feel like this is the worst punishment! -to not be paid attention to?! it's horrible!! lol
Good luck with whatever you choose!
So he is screaming in order to make his baby brother cry - that much we know since he has only recently started screaming. What a great trick! He thinks, "If I can scream loud enough my baby brother will cry!" He sounds like he's having the time of his life K. :o)
Two year olds are so smart aren't they? I've always thought that "terrible" doesn't describe them... it's more that they are "terribly smart!"
Read: Raising Your Spirited Child, by M.S. Kurcinka. I know you feel like you don't have time, but believe me, after chapter ONE you will have more clues as to how to deal with your son than you ever dreamed possible.
Smart kids are the hardest to figure out, but the easiest to live with in the end. You just have to learn how they operate. The owner's manual is this book.
In the mean time (while you are getting to the library, or to Amazon, to pick it up), don't give HIM the time out - you and the baby take a time out. When he starts to scream, without saying anything, pack up the baby and leave the room. He'll stop when there is no one to scream to.
When you give him attention for it by reprimanding or punishing him, you are giving him more of the attention that he wants.
Make sure your husband is on board with this. Agree that even if you are sitting at the dinner table, everyone pack up and leave the room. He will feel powerless rather than empowered when the audience has left and he is the only person in the theatre.
And refuse to take him in the car with you and the baby - do your shopping alone and leave the kids with dad during this stage.
Or, offer to bring him along if he won't scream: "I'm sorry Barret, screaming boys have to stay home with daddy - only quiet boys can ride in the car with mommy. If you are planning to be a quiet boy, you may come along."
You may not want to try the car ride again, however, until he is good and clear that it is his screaming that made him miss a few car trips that he really wanted to go on.
Annette has great advice. He is obviously doing it for attention-good or bad. Time-outs or being mad at him only gives him what he wants. Once he realizes that it isn't working, he will stop. Hang in there, it may take awhile.
Ignore him! I know it is very hard to ignore naughty children- i have 3 kids- but I think if you ignore his behaviour long enough it wont be as "fun" for him anymore. If he gets no attention at all from this behaviour then he will have no reason to do it. Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Put your foot down and tell him to STOP, if he doesn't send him to his bedroom or pull the car over. Tell him if he's going to scream he can go in his room and come out when he's done. Show him who's in charge. Or Try Amanda's advice and whisper or completely ignore your son and leave the room.
I have found that when my children are screaming I talk to them in a whisper voice. They can see my lips moving, but can't hear me talking until they quit screaming. Then once they have quit I continue to whisper to them and encorage them to use a whisper or "inside" voice.
Good luck though. I know how unnerving and frustrating that can be!
It was great to read some of the tips. My19 month old does this as well. She hasn't mastered talking yet and although she can do sign language, I think part of the screaming is frustration at being understood. I used to think she did it to draw attention to herself (she gets a lot of it from complete strangers) but then noticed that she doesn't even really look around...she'll just be doing something and will let out a huge scream as if to check and make sure she can still do it. Frustrating isn't it? Sounds like we are all going to live through it though! Good tip on the book...I am running as fast as I can to the store now...
My son did this when he was 2 also! Isn't it awful? I found he did it more when he was overstimulated, like noisy crowded places, or attention seeking. Good Luck!
