Seeking Advice for 2 Yr Old Who Screams

My 16-month old daughter has started doing this as well & I agree that it is stressful to listen to! She does it in the car to & from daycare, to voice her unhappiness with anything, or just to say how happy she is (which THAT I don't mind) I think when I give her a reaction, it validates the screaming to her & she thinks "hey, this is working!" So, one thing that has seemed to work for me is ignoring it. It is tough & requires patience, but if I let her ride it out on her on own for a few minutes (within reason--if it's a legitimate problem, I don't), she will sometimes stop. Also, trying to distract her with something else sometimes works. I'm still trying to find ways to avert this, as it is pretty recent. One interesting point: My daycare told me that she never screams while she is there. So, maybe she is just trying us at home, since she is the only one at home and not the only one at daycare. Good Luck! I tend to think it's probably pretty normal with little ones & they will grow out of it with a little guidance.

I tried yelling and that didn't work.

I tried giving into what she wanted and if it was a toy she wanted from her sister I'd take it away from her sister just to shut her up. That doesn't teach either and my older child will resent me and get mad at me.

I've tried talking to her but I get heated up quickly and get very annoyed and upset when I'm trying to talk and she's crying at me and can't stop. I ask her to please stop crying to I can talk to her and she doesn't listen or does listen but just can't stop. It doesn't work.

When she screams and I yell and she cries and doesn't stop I put her up in her room and tell her that she can come out when she's down crying. After her loud cry calms down to a softer cry I yell up to her upstairs and ask if she's done crying and if she is and will behave then she can come down. That has worked twice so maybe doing that with the screaming will work too.

I like the sticking the child outside advice the previous poster suggested. A 2 yr. old might not comprehend but if you scream yourself and tell her if she screams like that you will put her here and set her outside. Explain it all over again and ask if she understands. When she screams you can explain the steps on how you showed her and now it's time to do that. If she says no then ask if she'll stop screaming. If she says yes then give her another try. I try to do 2-3 strikes and your out but that doesn't always work.

I hope you find something that works. I'm right there with you on the screaming. Mine is a stubborn screamer who wants her way like a princess.

Ugh, I can't stand screaming. I do day care and watch a little boy who just turned 2. For the last few months, he's started screaming whenever he dislikes anything, and it's pretty hard on my ears! With him, I just say "Use your nice voice." I use my nice voice and repeat it as often as necessary. When he stops screaming, then I help address whatever the problem was--but not until he uses his nice voice. I can't say that it's working perfectly, as he still screams a lot, but a lot of it for him seems to be aimed at directing attention at him rather than the baby (my 10-month-old). And that's hard to address quickly, when kids get jealous of one another. He's also getting more possessive of toys and screams whenever he feels he's not getting what he deserves. In that case, I help only after he uses his nice voice.

Good luck!

Whenever our kids scream (in the house or in the car) we tell them that that is their outside voice and if they are going to use it, they need to go outside. Then we enforce that. Make sure to remind her of this new rule when she is calm as well. Then, if she starts to scream, pick her up and put her outside as she is. On the steps or in a garage will work. I seems mean, but seriously, in the winter they don't want to be outside. It will be about 5 seconds and she'll want to be back inside. She won't go anywhere! Then bring her back in and ask her if she is ready to use her inside voice. If she starts to scream again, put her back out. This worked almost immediately with our little screamer! Not so good in summer, but really well this time of year! Of course, never leave them out there.... you know that.

I know what I would do: tell her that it is not okay to scream, that it scares people and hurts their ears. Give her a warning the first time, then put her on a time out chair. Repeat about 12 times and she'll get the message!

Don't respond to her screaming. She knows that you are stressed out. Misery enjoys company!!! So when she starts screaming, close your eyes, put your hands over your ears. She will get more frustrated at first because she knows that your not giving her attention. TUrning you back to her works also. Don't respond to her needs until she calms down and quits screaming. Tell her that you are happy that she quit screaming and then ask her what do you need, or what happened etc. They all learn screaming at some point. How you respond to it determines how long the stage lasts. Good luck!

Aside from just saying "No screaming!", try saying "I can't help you when you scream. Please calm down." Also....I think they usually scream because they see the strong reaction they get, but if you stay calm, or better yet - ignore her, she might find that it's not worth it and stop. Good luck.

It is so hard for children to unlearn something. My only advice is to ignore it. I know easier said than done. When she sees that screaming doesn't get her what she wants hopefully she will quit screaming. You can try to put her in her room when she screams and let out when she stops. If there is someone who can handle it better and is there with the kids, like daddy or grandma, go for a walk. As soon as the screaming starts put on your jacket and go for a walk. She will see very quickly that it's not working.
Good luck --they aren't called the "terrible twos" for nothing. But this too will pass.

Ah, yes. This brings back painful memories. As soon as my daughter found her scream (she was around 12 months I guess) she learned to use it when she was angry or upset. We aren't a screaming family so it was particularily frustrating. We had to ride it out. It is SO effective because it is so visibly upsetting to us. They get an immediate reaction from almost everyone, especially stressed out mom (aka me!). She needs to start to get no reaction from it. I would suggest... "Little girls who scream get bedroom time." Then into her crib she goes EVERYTIME she even screams a litte. Let her scream until she is done. Then go in and say "are you done?" When she says yes pick her up and say "Yeah, little girls who don't scream get to come have fun with mommy!". If you have a stubborn little girl like I do, it might take a month or two. If you have a complacant child, she might figure it out the first time (how lucky you would be!). The hardest part was when we were out. We immediately left the park, playgroups, whatever. Or, if you are with people that you can trust, you can give her bedroom time there to (or car time - that is what she got at grandma and grandpas. I could see the car from the house so she could scream in the car and no one could hear her. Obviously this doesn't work on a warm day or if you feel in any way she is in danger in the car without you in it). But I had to put her in her car seat in the car because my elderly parents couldn't handle the screaming in their home. I would go check on her and say "are you done?" Sometimes my stubborn child would say "no" so I would just say "OK, scream until you are done!" and close the door and go back in the house (she could see me walk back in the house." Then I would go back and when she was done I would again say "yeah, little girls who are calm get to come have fun at grandma and grandmas.!"

Also, when she was not quite to a scream but was crying we talked about being calm (actually since she was a baby). We taught her as a baby to take a deep breath to calm down. So we usually talked about this at some point to. If I ask her if she is calm she can almost always immediately turn off the tears, take a deep breath, and say yes. My parents were always amazed with that one. Sometimes I am even floored by how fast she can stop crying if she has the right motivation.

Good luck. I had more than one friend tell me they could not deal with that if their child did that. But if you can stay calm and make it her problem, not yours. Give her natural consequences EVERYTIME for it, you can kick it!

I can imagine how frustrating/annoying that must me for you. I think I'd first try ignoring it. With my kids it seems like sometimes when I give certain behaviors attention (even if it's negative attention) they do them all the more. In my home if ignoring it didn't work I'd then turn to the method I learned in "1, 2, 3, Magic".

Good luck to you!!!