Santa Claus

I have a 5 year old daughter who i think has not belived in santa claus since she was 3..just wanted to give my saying to this

My kids didn't believe me either when I first told them that I was Santa, the Easter Bunny, and whatever jolly ol' frollicy others there are out there.

How I got them to believe me was by showing them the detailed receipts of everything I bought for Easter. They couldn't help but to believe me then.

If you don't want to go that route, then you can always start writing "from mommy" on the presents to ween him from the idea. When he inquires about it, tell him the real story of Santa.

I hope this helps.

9 is too old to believe in Santa Claus. Start weaning him off. :) He probably has heard it at school anyway and has a suspicion. Usually 5-6 is the end of Santa.

I have a 15 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son. We had the same problem with my kids cousins. They were johovah witness and did not celebrate Christmas. I told my kids that Santa only comes to your house if you believe. Those that believe receive. My 15 yr old finally relized that Santa was not real on her own. We did not have to tell her. She came to it on her own terms. My 10 yr old as of last yr still believed. We will see what this yr brings. My daughter still acts like she beleives just for his benefit. She said she did not want to take something special away from him. Good luck S.

Wow, this is a tough one, one that my husband and I battled over for a couple years! He finally overruled me when my son was going into 5th grade and told him. He thought that was too old to beleive and that he would be teased. Of course my son said he already knew it when we told him. What I did for the kids who tried to ruin it for my kids was I went to the parent and asked them to ask their children to stop telling my kids there was no Santa and ruining it for them. I have to admit, both my older kids know now, one is 12 and one is 10, this will be the first year they'll both know and it does make life much easier yet sad because they don't believe anymore. We do have a 20 month old to start all over again with tho so that makes it nice!

Good luck!

S.

Please don't take this wrong, I don't mean to hurt or offend, but I think you always need to tell your kids the truth. I think it is especially important with things they can't see because you want them to trust you in the things they don't understand or can't see.
He's 9 and I think he can handle the truth that you wanted him to enjoy an american tradition. I think you should apologize for lying to him though.

I was about 9 or 10 when my mom sat me down to have a "talk." She thought, and still thinks, I was a little too old at that point to believe in Santa. Maybe I was, I don't know...But if you do decide he's emotionally/mentally ready to be told, I suggest being very gentle with your approach. I remember I cried when I found out. Not only was it Santa, but it was the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and...To me, a very emotional and sensitive little girl, it was heartbreaking. My brother knew very early, in 2nd grade, because his teacher told the whole class!!! Crazy teachers...But he didn't tell my parents he knew until a few years later. Anyway, I don't know if you're religious or not, but if he seems to have a difficult time with it, maybe you could tell him the story about St. Nicholas and how the person we know as "Santa" got started.

Good luck! These are the parenting issues I don't look forward to, but kids are smart & strong. They can handle these types of things better than we give them credit for!

T.,
I have an 8 1/2 year old who still believes in Santa also.
And actually he has never really asked questions about it yet. A few years ago, I baby-sat for a boy the same age as my son and he doesn't believe in him. They were 6 at the time.
What I did was took the boy aside and told him that Conner (my son) believes in Santa and that he shouldn't say anything to him.
He understood and didn't say a word.
So maybe you could say something to the kids and their mother about not saying anything to your son.
He will find out on his own time.
I remember when I finally found out, I was crushed !

i would let him believe as long as possible. way too soon kids stop believing in magic and become jaded. i have a friend who says that she still believes, and her kids (18 and 15) do as well-- they say santa is the spirit of giving and kindness-- it's not so much that they still think a fat elf in a red suit comes in and leaves them presents, but more what he stands for. and i know when i was little and i knew he wasn't real, i still pretended he was mostly for my parents sake-- he might be doing that, too. when he comes to you and asks you then i'd tell him that there is no real elf, but that presents given in his name show the spirit of the season. not sure what your beliefs in God and Jesus are, but i think you can have God and Santa at Christmas without doing disservice to either. hope that helps!
J.

Usually in the third grade is when the kids are already telling other kids that there is no santa. You could actually tell him the true story about a man name Nicholas Claus that really did get Christmas started. I believe it was in England (Not sure). He went around to children's houses and orfan's and droped presents down their chimney because they didn't have much of anything. He would do it the night before Jesus Christ was born, so that that morning they would wake up to a big surprise. Nicholas Claus was a christian and believed in helping the unfortunate. Because it signified Christ' birth it was named Christmas. Santa Claus was Nicholas Claus and some people though he was a saint. You could try to look the story up on the internet. A couple of years ago it was on the internet. This would be a good story (that is true) for him to tell his friends and cousins.

My personal belief - keep up the myth as long as you can! I do my best. I have 7 children - ages 24, 22, 20, 16, 15, 3 and 1. My older kids as well as myself will tell you how much they enjoyed Santa. Each finds out in thier own way that Santa is not real. I still remember what my sister - who is 15 years older - told me when I let her know that I knew that Santa was not real (and I am sure it is what our parents told her) "Santa is real. No - there may not be a little man that flys around in a sleigh on Christmas eve. Santa is the spirit of Christmas that we hold in our heart. The joy that we get from being with family."

One thing that has passed from generation to generation in my family is the joy of giving to each other at Christmas. It is a very special holiday in which strong traditions were started by my parents and are not being passed down to my children and will be passed to my grandchildren one day as well.

I agree with those who suggest telling him about St. Nicholas. He is old enough to understand where Santa Claus originated from. Explain to him that it is more for the "little" children to believe in. He'll probably feel more grown up and you can make him feel like he's in on the "secret" now. There is way too much emphasis on Santa and not enough emphasis on Jesus at Christmas. Now is the perfect time to start stressing Jesus' birth as the real reason for the holiday -- not Santa and presents. He'll get more out of the holiday in the long run.

I would wait, let your son believe. As for his cousin, I think that if that is what she wants to tell her kids that is fine, but she should tell them to keep it to themselves because other people DO believe and it just isn't right for her to allow her children to take that away from other kids. I think there is nothing wrong with letting your kids believe in Santa. With all the other things that cause children to have to grow up so fast these days believing in Santa is not a bad thing. Good luck to you in what ever you decide is best for you and your son.

T.,

hi. i am a mother of 5 ages almost 8 yrs to 27 years and 3 grandkids. please don't tell your son! he will find out soon enough on his own! i have probs with my 2 nephews ages 9 and 11 who want to continuously ruin it for my little girl! they hear enough at school too! i try to squeeze in every year i can with the belief of santa! after that, christmas isn't looked at in the same way in their eyes.! why ruin their fun?!! they are this young only once!

take care, and have fun this christmas, and every christmas after!

hugs,

C.

Hi,
I told my son who is 10 this year and is going on 11 in Dec.
I thought it was time. He was a little dissapointed but understood that it is his parents who love him and want to get him the best gifts. Eventually he will come around but make sure if he has younger siblings not to ruin it for them.
P. M

I wouldn't tell him that santa clause isn't real. I would just tell him that it's ok if his cousin's don't want to believe in him, but I wouldn't ruin it for your son. It's a taste of innocence that he can hang on to for a little longer. He'll eventually figure it out on his own and it will all be ok.

T.,
We went through this with our son last year at Christmas. (He turned 10 in Feb) We decided to give it one last year. After Christmas, I told him about the "tooth fairy", which to my surprise he had already figured out. That led to the Santa talk. He had a pretty good idea how it really worked anyway, so it made it pretty easy to break the news. He was actually pretty excited to be the big brother and be able to play along for his little brothers. I was surprised that my son had me convinced that he still believed in santa and the tooth fairy, but he explained that he just figured that if he fessed up, he wouldn't get the gifts anymore, lol. So maybe your son already knows and is just afraid to admit it. I wish you luck!!

T.,

I went through this and my son was older than yours. I think it's wonderful that he believes. When you get to a point where you have to proffer another explanation. You could do what I did and give it a historical perspective. Yes, Santa Claus is now in Heaven with all the angels and saints. St. Nick aka Santa Claus was such a generous loving man that people honor him by doing what he did on earth. I would not put it in the frame of - "he isn't real." Of course, he was real. Give little info, he'll ask for more if he wants it. Remember to track santa through NORDAC (I think it's called online). Every weatherman in every city looks for Santa with their radar every Christmas Eve. I know he lives in my heart. The secular world that we live in wants to squelch all the magic and love - don't let them.

God bless,

E.

i wouldn't tell him just yet. kids are smart and usually around 10 or so they figure it out on thier own. if he asks questions then answer him, if not, why ruin the fun for him. kids are growing up way to fast, let him be a kid for as long as possible.

My son also believed in Santa at that age. It troubled me, not because of his belief, but that some other kids would give him a hard time as he very matter of factly told them he was right and they were wrong. Now that he is 12, he knows the truth, but keeps it alive for his younger brother and for his own enjoyment. We always said to him, "You can believe what you want about Santa, and maybe you'll never know until Xmas morning". He would get very bright eyed at the thought of actually getting more for Xmas if he believed in Santa! We would relish in his naivity and enjoy every moment. He is going to be 13 next month and still has the sparkle of a child in his eye when it comes to Xmas, Halloween, Easter Bunny - all of it - and we love every minute of it!!! Kids have to grow up so fast in today's world - try to keep your son innocent as long as you can. If he has the confidence to uphold his beliefs and the love of you to support him, he'll be fine in life!

I in no certain way want to tell you how to raise your child. I went through this same problem with my son a few years ago. I personally think that a child's imagination is the most wonderful thing a child can own. Why limit a child's imagination to please other people? Let his cousins believe in what they are taught. It is a good thing that your son still has the belief in magic. My son was told by his father that the only person to believe in that cannot be seen is God, so therefore God is the only belief he should have at Christmas time. This started a war with the younger cousins who still have the imagination to believe in Santa Claus. While I do believe in God and think Christmas should involve God I think we should let our children be who they are without shattering their dreams. I would wait until he comes to realize on his own that Santa doesn't "exist". When the issue is brought up with his cousins and their mother just explain that we all believe in different things and it doesn't make us weird, it makes us special. I hope this in some ways helps you decide what is best for your son and yourself. Let him hold onto his innocence and dreams until he's ready to let them go.

My eight year old still believes in Santa Clause and I want him to believe as long as he wants to. My oldest son that is not 11 found out the truth 2 years ago because his stepbrother that is a year older told him and his Dad felt it was time to let him know the real facts and made it clear he was not to tell any of his younger brothers and sisters.

My eight year old questions it sometimes because other kids his age tells him he is stupid to believe, but I always turn it around with what do you believe? Without fail he always tell me he still believes in Santa and knows he is real because he always gets something he really wants(but never tells me) (I have my oldest boy find out what he wants for me). I remember the magic of believeing in Santa when I was younger and I want my kids to cherish those memories for as long as they can.

Obviously there is no right or wrong time to tell your child, but you need to make sure the time is right for both of you. Think about how your son will react when you tell him that something he truly believes in(if he does truly believe in it) isnt real. Make sure he is okay with knowing the real truth. It isnt hurting anybody for him to continue to believe in Santa.

Hope this helps a bit.

Hi T.,

Go as long as you can...keep that innocence...you can't get it back. Alot of people told me I was cruel for letting my daughter still believe but I loved being that secret santa and seeing her face when she got what she asked santa for...so I just didn't tell her year after year even though she heard it from her friends at school. I think she was afraid if she didn't believe she wouldn't get anything. My daughter is 13 and due to financial resaons I was forced to tell her last year at 12. She was upset at first but now she likes having that secret for her younger cousins. But she also "grew up" along with it and it was a little sad to see that innocence go....so hold onto it for as long as you can...kids are forced to grow up too fast today. When I told my daughter I told her that I was really santa and that christmas is about giving to others not receiving. Although she still has a long list for christmas she now can see the joy in the younger kids faces when they see santa...I do not regret waiting to tell her and wish I could have gone longer..
Good luck and God Bless
K.

I haven't gone through this yet (my sons are ages 3 and 6 and both are very FIRM believers), but I don't know that it hurts anything for him to continue to believe. I can understand that you don't want him to fight with his cousin, so I agree with the other mom who suggested talking to his cousin about it. Still, you will need to hope that his cousin treats this issue respectfully, and doesn't take this as an opportunity to tease your son. My dad was a single parent, who raised my brother and I on his own, and he kept the Santa Claus belief alive for a long time. Even when we were older (probably around your son's age) and had asked him about it, he just explained that yes, it is kind of far-fetched to think that a jolly old man in a red suit magically delivers gifts, but that Santa Claus is the SPIRIT of giving, and that will always be a truth, especially at Christmas. I think that's a fantastic way to think about Santa...I hope things work out and please keep the group posted! I may need YOUR advice on this issue next year :-)