Potty Advice - El Dorado Hills,CA

We just finished potty training last week, so this is fresh in my mind. I know all children are different but here is what worked for my son. He also wouldn't go poop on the toilet and I became frustrated. So out of desperation my husband took him to TRU and bought him 10 matchbox cars ($1 each). My son picked out the car he wanted to earn for the next poop. This seemed to be the motivation he needed. He did have a few accident, it wasn't magic, but it did give him the reinforcement he needed. After he earned all 10 cars I made him a chart with 10 spaces. This time we let him pick a big toy to earn after he got 10 stickers on his chart (one sticker for each poop). This time he chose a scooter and learned about delayed reward. He earned the scooter last week and we finished training. I would say constancy was really important for us. Hope this helps!

My sister in law had a similar experience with one of her children. She came up with an idea that worked great. Her daughter would refuse to go #2 in the toilet and would ask for a diaper. My sister in law started cutting a hole in the diaper, putting the diaper on her daughter and have her sit on the toilet. My neice had the comfort of the diaper, and before long was used to being on the toilet and didn't need the diaper.

I understand what you are going through my daughter was the same way. I would give her a pull-up every time she needed to go number 2. My doctor said not to make a big issue out of it. She turned 4 and I told her that we had no more Pull-ups and I wasn't going to buy any and low and behold she started going on the Potty, she was just ready! Don't worry too much about it:)

My daughter who has been toilet trained since 18 months always had problems with her poos. Once I didn't mind whether she did it on the toilet or on the potty she started to sit on the potty in front of TV and sit for ages (up to 45 mins) and would let her poos come out.

We talk alot about how hard or soft her poos are and I have linked it to the amount of water she has and vegetables (less veges and less water = hard poos or no poos). She is almost 3 now and finally goes (still 90% of the time on the potty not the toilet) albeit that she only goes every second day or so, but it is all her choice and she will say that she needs more water because her poos are hard or her wees are yellow.

FOr some reason she hates to have her poos disappear and to see it before it is flushed away helps her.

I know this may not help you, but you are not the only one out ther suffering with poos on toilets. Don't stress too much as it will come eventually.

Make sure she is well hydrated. Dry poo poos can hurt and cause them to hold them in. All that extra liquid will also cause her to spend more time on the potty and maybe get more used to just sitting on it? A little cod liver oil in the diet (1-2 spoonful a day) will help lube things up as well and is the best source of vitamin A, to boot.

M.,
My son has been potty trained for a while now and we never had an issue with anything. But we have always made it fun and to this day we all have to go see his "creation". Which sounds totally gross but he will tell us he did a snake or a snail. He likes to name what he does. Kind of like looking at the clouds and using his imagination. Totally gross and weird but he gets soooo excited every time he has to go. Just an idea.

M.

Child development 'experts' will tell you that one of the problems is that the poo seems like a part of the body to a child and it scares them to have it come out and then be flushed away. I'm not all that sure this is true, but it's something to keep in mind. But, I do think that whether the child has a bit of constipation or not, sometimes going poo is uncomfortable, and it's difficult to relax to let it come out easily. This is a very common problem with children, and I've come to the conclusion that when the parent relaxes about it (and isn't that hard to do too!) the child has an easier time of getting the idea and going on a regular basis. Also, I've found that if one incentive doesn't work, try another... or wait a while then offer a new incentive. I've just tried a new sticker chart for our granddaughter, and her Mom was elated to see her reaction to it. She said "Mom, I never saw her get this excited over M & Ms". I don't think it's the chart that is the key, but the child's age and readiness to respond to the incentive.

Hi M.,

While we were potty training my son, we faced the same issue.He was completely fine going to bathroom by himself for pee-pee, but he was very scared to do #2. He would just not sit on the toilet.

We talked to his care giver and decided to take him off pull-ups, to try and see if he would use the toilet. But he was so scared and he would hide and do #2 in his underpants.We still did not get him back to pull-ups for a week and asked day care to discard his underpants.

I bought him a very basic potty .I kept him one week at home with me, and I would encourage him to use the potty. He is a big fan of lion king story, so I would make him sit on the potty and read the book to him. He used to resist in the beginning, but did fine.

I would also keep an eye on him to make sure he does not hide anywhere and pass#2.
When I knew he wanted to go, I made him sit on the potty, saying "You can do it". As he had already gotten used to sitting down on the potty, he was comfortable and was able to do it. That was a big achievement for him!!. Once he did that 2-3 times, he learned the trick.I explained to him that he can do the same way in big toilet, and don't need the potty any more, so the transition from potty to toilet was fast and smooth.

He was 3 years, 2 months old then, will turn 4 this November.

Also, while the potty training is going on, make sure to give them lots of fluids and high-fiber veggies etc, so that it will be easier on them.

Hope this helps!
-M.

we are having the same problem with our allmost 3 year old. We went to the ped. and she said that its partially behavioral partially due to constipation issues. we give her miralax once aday in her drink to help softenn the stool and make it difficult for her to hold it. holding it can make her develop a mega-colon like my daughter did which takes time to shrink back to regular size. Talk to your ped. it will get better.

My oldest daughter was exactly the same way. She would change out of her panties into a pull up, hide in the closet, and come out when she was done. Over time, she outgrew that without any struggle. Your daughter may end up doing the same thing.

Good Luck.

Hi M.,
We are in the same situation with our 4.5 years old son. We gave up after trying all sorts of tactics and left it up to him to decide when he wants to go (he says when he turns 5). He had decided to go on potty by himself at 3.5 yrs and told us to not buy more diaper but after going twice, he did not like #2 on potty and told us he will do that later. We respected his decision and at the same time told him about our expectations.

Bribing, rewards, and punishment do not work same on all kids. More important is having them learn to develop their own decision making skills. Eventually, you child will turn around too. I have read that it is not good to push. We can only tell them about our expectations and provide positive encouragement but ultimately it is up to them to decide.

We had the same problem and nothing worked. I thought I'd be changing diapers forever because my daughter told me she would poop on the potty when she was five! Shortly after her 4th birthday, we came up with a solution together. She was afraid of the poop falling into the toilet, so we took strips of toilet paper (about 5 sheets long) and laid them accross the toilet seat before she sat down. We started out with a lot of strips (like 4-5) to make sure it would hold the poop. Obviously it doesn't always hold, but then she realized that it wasn't so bad. We slowly used less TP until she felt comfortable going without it. I don't know if it will work for anyone else, but it's worth a try.

Good luck!!! I know how frustrating it can be. This is one area that they have all the power on.

We also used Miralax a few days before we started trying this because she had a tendancy to hold it in and get hard BM's and I knew that would make the situation worse.

Get her a child's personal potty chair and keep it in the bathroom. Then she will not be afraid to go. Makes a little more work , but is worth it.

Anna

Find out why she doesn't want to go. If she went before and got splashed it might have scared her. If this is the case turn off the water to the toilet and flush it before she goes. This will take the water out so she wont get splashed. When she is done just turn the water back on and flush when the tank fills back up.