Question About Potty Training 3 Year Old

My son would not go poo poo in the toddler toilet at all. He would go wee wee but that was it. He also had accidents. I went and bought the Baby Bjorn step stool and the Baby Bjorn rim (which goes on top of the adult toilet). I let my son take his favorite books. Problem resolved.

My 3 year old loved that when she flushed, her poopies went to a poopie party under the house. The magical thinking that kids develop at age three can be used to your advantage. Rewards might be a good incentive (worked for one of mine, not for the other).

I would also try some Miralax to keep things soft, more frequent and not painful. One painful poop can start a cycle of holding it and leading to more painful poops. We're still dealing with some ramifications of that with my 5 year old. I think you still have time to let him figure this out. Potty training is one of the hardest things! Good luck!

Hi T.,

I have two boys and when they were little o boy did we have a time in potty training. I got some awesome advice from my grandmother who 5 girls and one boy woowee! She told me place them on the potty wether they had to go or not, give them a little more fiber in thier diet and now they have that fibersure which is a powder and you can mix that in anything and you can't even taste it so no pills and you would only need a pinch of it. Also she said when they do go reward them for doing such a good job. Balloons that you blow up yourself were a great way she said they were cheap and they played with them for hours. So I did the same thing. It sounds like he might be a little constipated and the stool might be hard and he is afraid to let it go because it might hurt and he doesn't like the way it feels. So a little fiber goes a long way, just reasure him its okay. If it continues longer than a week you might have to help him move it a long with warm water and u can use a nose surenge to push warm water up there. A week is to long and 3 days is pushing it.

I agree he could be scared that he is losing a piece of himself down the toilet. This is a common fear. So get some potty books and make it fun and reassure him that it's nothing to be afraid of. I would also tell him that he will have to start wearing pull ups again because only big boys who go poop on the potty can wear big boy underwear.

If he is very uncomfortable or has had difficult bowel movements this could also attribute to holding it in. Ask your pediatrician about a stool softener to make it easier for him to go.

Don't stress about it too much or push him too much. Try to act like it's no big deal. With gentle reassurance I am sure he will get over this!

Before the current problem did he hide whenever he had a poop in his diaper? My child had a hard time going poop in the potty in front of us and we struggled with constipation for a while. But with adequate liquids/fruit and then letting her sit on the little potty alone for awhile (we're close by and she is occupied with books or little toy animals) she has started going regularly at about the same time almost every day, then announces when she succeeds. Hope it starts getting better for you soon.

If you google constipation or withholding stools in children they have some advice about it. I would also ask the dr about giving him something to make sure he does not get constipated because then it is painful and it starts this whole cycle where they are afraid to go because it hurts. Then when you get his stools soft enough I would reward him with skittles or something when he will go on the potty and make a big deal for the first few times and then maybe he will get the idea that it is safe and OK.
Good luck.

My son who will be 4 in October was very similar, potty training for #2 was a nightmare! One night after leaving him on the potty (knowing he had to go)after about an hour of listening to him scream and cry, it just happened! He has only had one accident since. He wasn't ready until HE was ready. We tried EVERYTHING and I think we caused alot of stress but it was not going to happen until he was ready. My advice is to be patient and keep trying without making to big a deal out of it and it will happen. Your son will not be going to college in pull-ups so try not to stress. Good luck.

This can be a common problem for toddlers because they have a difficult time undestanding that a part of their body is leaving and "disappearing" in the toilet. It can be frightening. Try to help him understand--in 3 year old terms--how food is processed and elminated from the body. There are even some play dogs that poop which may help him understand. Also, talk to your pediatrician's nurse to see if there are some over-the-counter remedies to help him poop easier.

We had the same problem when my dd was 3. She would not poop on the potty, but she didn't want to poop in her pants either, so she would hold it in for several days until she was miserable. We had to do an enema (for children) one time and glycerin suppositories another time. It softens the stool and makes them go within a half hour. After these two times, the experience was so unpleasant that I asked my daughter if she wanted the medicine up her bottom to make her go poo, and that motivated her to use the toilet. We rewarded her with dollar store type toys that she could choose (I kept a bag full of stuff in the closet). We had to do that for a couple months until she was going regularly. There's a website that has a lot of information on potty training "resistance" that was helpful to me from the University of Michigan. Search their site www.umich.edu, "toilet training". I found all kinds of helpful info to get me through the frustrating times.

We went through the same thing with my nephew when he was potty training. He refused to poop on the potty and would hold it for days, finally ending up having accidents in his underwear. After speaking with his pedi, we began giving him Miralax every day to get things moving again, and when we would see him start doing the "poo poo dance" (as it became afectionately known as), we would sit him on the toilet. He also likes the cherry-favored prunes, so we gave those to him for dessert sometimes. We would reward him when he went on the potty, and eventually he started going on his own. It did take a few months and a lot of patience and dry runs, but he eventually got comfortable with it. He has been accident free for a year now. Just stick with it, and your son will eventually lose that fear of going on the potty, too. Hang in there...it will get better!