Pending Divorce W/ 2 Small Children

My sister lived in Maryland when she when through her divorce about 7 yrs ago. At that time she didn't want to move home, but she did move home about 3-4 yrs ago... she had to go back to court before she was able to move. Sad thing is that her ex-hubby moved to CO before she wanted to move to OH... but since she has the kids she had to get "permition" to move. The 3 kids only see daddy at Christmas & summer breaks, but they are now closer to the rest of their family (both sides - since my sister & her ex are both from OH).

If you are thinking about moving home - make sure you get an approval order in your divorce papers... that way you have the right to move without going back to court when you choose to move.

Good luck & sorry things are so bad!

I wouldn't recommend moving since you will be severely affecting your children's ability to have a relationship with their father.

I am from OK and my ex-husband is from GA. We are both committed to living here in the area in order to keep our son's life consistent and stable. Neither of us have any family in TX, so I understand why you want to move back, but it's not a good idea for your children.

The only way you could move back is if you 1) move back now and file divorce in NC once you establish residency or 2) get his permission to move. Either way, you should and would be responsible for all transportation costs and would have to deal with the reality of sending your children to their father on a plane alone (once they are 5) and for 42 days in the summer (once they are old enough). I'm sure the thought of that really hurts your heart, so imagine the hurt your husband would feel only seeing them a handful of times a year.

either way, it will probably destroy your children's ability to have the relationship with their dad that they (and your husband) deserves.

stay in town and work out a schedule that works for both of you. My ex and I have 50/50 physical (and legal) custody and my 5 year old is thriving.

My husband and I seperated and we were living in PA but all my family was in MI so thats where I went. He didnt try to stop me although he could have. I spoke to a lawyer about it and she told me that if I have no job and no way to support myself in PA that a judge would more than likly let me stay in MI since I had my family there to help me and a place to live. If I would have stayed in PA I wouldnt have had any emotional support or financial support. Unfortunatly I had to move in with my parents so they can help me get back on my feet. Divorce sucks thats for sure. My girls are 6 and 4 and I am 32 weeks pregnant with our son. You should talk with your husband and explain how your feeling. Even if he could still fully financially support you and the kids and himself you will need your family for emotional support. I hope everything works out for you.

S.

A lot of people don't have a lot of choice simply because they can't find work and need the family help to get back on their feet. If you're in that circumstance, don't feel like a terrible person for needing family. Generally speaking you either need to move before the divorce, or get it included in the divorce.

Kids are pretty resilient, and some situations are better and some worse because of living out of state. I don't think you've given us enough to estimate which yours is. Decide in your heart what is right for the kids, and what you can do by yourself, and go from there.

If you do need the family support to get back on your feet, always remember that he does have the right to move to NC to be close to the kids if it's that important to him to see them regularly too. It would be a hardship for him, and most don't. But it's not like you having no good way to pay your rent and needing help absolutely prevents him from seeing his kids daily. He has choices too. No choice in a divorce is an easy choice. Do what you must do.

I am sorry to hear about your marriage being on the verge of divorce. Sometimes, a divorce on the horizon can actually make a family come together, believe it or not.

Here is my recommendation for a divorce atty:

James Beach (goes by Jim)
100 2nd Ave N
St Petersburg, FL 33701
###-###-####

Jim has approximately 34+ years of experience and is a wonderful atty. with a great heart. He will be completely honest with you in regards to your particular situation.

Good Luck!!!