E
BAHAWAHA!!!
I'm sorry, what a great story though, so well told!
Sorry C., gonna have to answer the phone and be straight with the ole fella. Just being a friendly neighbor, not looking for romance.
I'll BET you were a sight for his sore eyes!
:(
This guy is not getting "subtle"! Most men don't.
You need to tell him that while you are glad to be a good neighbor, you're not interested in anything beyond a friendship, so you won't be joining him for drinks, smooches, OR dancing. Flat out. It's probably the only way he's going to connect the dots.
Ahhh, the age old question of a girl not wanting to hurt a guys feelings versus a guy who just can't take a "hint".
In my experience as a guy, too many women give what I (we) perceive as mixed signals. Some examples:
* Not now for drinks - means sometime, keep asking me.
* I'm not really looking for a bf - means she's not advertising, but I'm a great guy and everyone finds love when they're not "looking
* Here's my number - means call me, she totally understood my ruse to get her number and is playing along
Please - no more excuses. He's a big boy, and if he can put the moves on, then he can understand a direct "No, I'm just not interested in you that way. Period".
Any excuse you give will continue to be misinterpreted ad infinitum.
Good heavens, do both of you a favor and tell him you are willing to be a friendly neighbor (or whatever degree of friendliness works for you), but romance is OUT. Be polite, you don't have to use sarcasm or an ugly tone of voice. But state clearly that romance is out. Don't give any reasons or excuses – they will only weaken your position in his thinking.
If this man is still in his right mind, he'll appreciate your bluntness and adjust his expectations. But there's some possibility that he's experiencing some variety of senility if he put that much persistence into one visit. I had an aging uncle who simply did not seem able to keep his hands off the ladies. I realized after a couple of years that it was not his fault, but I was careful not to become a target.
Good luck.
Contact the senior citizen center in your area and tell them of your concerns. Ask if they offer a singles night or something like that. Offer to take him there so he can make friends his own age.
He's probably just a lonely man and has forgotten how to date. There are a lot more single or widowed women his age than men. He needs to just get out and find a nice women his age.
Tell him that you enjoy your talks when he is walking in the neighborhood but that you wont be coming over anymore. You were uncomfortable.
I think you can just be direct...and tell him your have a beau who is in Special Ops in Afghanistan and you're terribly sorry if he got the wrong impression, but you're not interested in him romantically. Good luck!
The best thing you can do is be honest with him. The next time he calls, tell him that you are flattered by the attention but aren't interested in him romantically. If you are wanting to be friends--then you could say but I could always use a good friend to talk to etc. But it all depends on if you want to have a friendship with him or not. If you want him gone period---don't mention being friends. GL
M
You need to be straight with him, in my opinion. Just tell him, that you are not interested in a relationship.
Be honest with him. Tell him you feel he is looking for more than you are willing to give, and you are not interested in dating him. If you want to you can offer to remain friends, but if you just want him to leave you alone, than tell him that in as nice a way as you can.
You stayed too long. You gave him the idea that what he was doing was acceptable, C., by not saying anything. Why wouldn't you respond when he started the dirty talk? The fact that he was doing it shows that something is off in his mind, and you let him think that you thought it was appropriate.
Now, the only thing you can do is not answer the phone. Either buy a new kind of phone that shows the name of who is calling you, or get Caller ID from the phone company. Never answer his calls. If he comes by, tell him that you felt uncomfortable because he tried to kiss you and you didn't like it. You have to SAY to him not to call you or talk to you anymore.
By the way, when I visit my mom, I go see a 70 year old man who lives nearby my mom, because he's lonely, and he doesn't act this way. But if he even STARTED it, I wouldn't let him have his fantasy by continuing to stay there and not say anything. You let him think it was okay. Now he thinks you're playing hard to get. Tell him straight up and don't lead him on anymore.
Dawn
You are 55 - old enough to be nice & let him down easy. To be honest, your silence is doing more damage than good. Unless you are telling him 100% how you feel, you are most likely leading him on. Tell him you are happy to be his friends, but that you are not interested in him romantically.
Learn these two little words-"hell no"!
have your husband answer the phone when the guy calls
K. h.
actually, i have a much better answer..the next time the guy gets "friendly", tell him" YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER !hey, wait a minute, where did you say you were from?? you just might BE my father! let me have another look at you." at this point, he will turn paler then a sheet and run in the other direction! and yes this little mind trick works EVERY time.
I would just tell him straight out next time he calls that you want to be a friendly neighbor, and if he has any emergencies he can certainly call, or if he wants to chat about a topic you both can talk about, but if he is only going to call to talk about having drinks and trying to kiss you, then you are no longer interested in talking to him.
I think honesty and being up front is the only way.
Then if he continues to call about drinks and being too friendly I would simply scold him like a mother would do (my mother would scold anyone who she felt deserved it!) and tell him you will not accept this kind of nonsense talk, and if he does not stop talking silly about drinks and such then he can no longer call you.
Tell him straight out.
Just because he lives alone doesn't make him a nice guy. He is hitting on a married woman. You don't need this kind of friendship. Maybe he is alone for a reason.
