Negotiating Computer Time at Grandparents

I usually have my granddaughter on weekends and have the other two grandchildren once a month or so. When I have my grandchildren here I try to spend as much time with them as I can. We play board games, we read, we even watch cartoons or movies together. We usually bake or go to the park. When they get older (they are preschoolers right now) I still hope that we can spend the time together and not having them on the computer while here. Maybe grandma would rather spend the time "with" the kids rather then them on the computer. If she is saying no computer just because she is afraid of too much time, maybe you could get some jigsaw puzzels and games to keep over there so they could do something together.

Be prepared for it to be a no computer day...that way it won't matter what the day is!!! Bring toys, crayons, craft things...something that will keep your children occupied.
Maybe you could come up with something to do as a family..outside of the house...a museum...a movie, When the weather gets nicer...a trip to the local zoo...a nature preserve...something to help your children build memories with their grandparents. Plan a picnic at a park where you can eat, and then the children can play where you can see them but the adults can still enjoy some quality time together. You cannot reasonably expect a 7 and 10 year old to sit and entertain themselves quietly all day long while the adults visit. And as I said...it should be about building memories...AND relationships!!!

First of all, I'd rethink the no computer time at home. They are allowed computers at school and computers are a great tool that they will most likely use and need in their future for school and work!! What about buying them educational games they can play on there? They do not have to only play online games where they can infect your computer with viruses. But that is obviously your decision....

As far as at the grandparents house, have you asked them why all of a sudden they do not get computer time at all? Maybe they feel like you are tightening the reigns and trying to control what they are allowed to do at their house, especially with something they may consider not a big deal. Again, you are the parent(s) so your rules should apply, but they may be doing this in order to not upset you. You told them they could play on the computer at Grandma and Grandpas so they let them. Then you said it was too much, so they stopped. Maybe they do not understand what kind of happy medium you want.

We see my parents at least 1-2x a week and during that time, my 3.5 and 1.5 year old play about 1/2 of the time alone and about 1/2 of the time with either myself, my sister or one or both of their grandparents.

When we go somewhere there are not a lot of toys, I bring them. But your kids are older. What about getting some games, cards and puzzles to leave at Grandma and Grandpas? Or what about letting them watch a movie?

I would start by removing the "allure" of the computer by allowing short opportunities at home! You can start with 15 minutes daily for each of your children (even better if they want to surf the 'net together) and see how they handle it. If nothing else, get them involved with a fun typing program. I don't think you're "mean", but in all honesty the way our world functions today your kids may have a hard time in a few years if they aren't comfortable on the computer.

Second, I would just openly broach the topic with your in-laws. There's a good chance that they think they are breaking "your rules" by allowing the computer time. It's entirely possible that your husband said something along the lines of "Mom, we don't let the kids on the computer at home and last week they were on yours for almost 4 hours! This week, can we keep it to less than 2?" If you were on the other end of that call, what would you have thought?

I would just call your MIL and mention that you're okay either way, but want to be prepared with games and toys so the kids aren't running around like crazy people. See what she says.

My guy is little, but when we go somewhere that I know he will be the only child (therefore no other toys), I will pack him a little backpack of his own (almost 3 yrs old) with a few matchbox cars, a puzzle, a book and some crayons. While I really enjoy grown-up chatting, my husband and I will rotate playing with him so that he has some interaction too. I have also brought a Disney movie with me if I know that it's going to be a long visit and he will need some "down time".

We use the kitchen timer on any electronics time in our house. They have to ask permission before turning on the computer, DS, wii, etc and depending on what the schedule is for the day, I set the timer accordingly, but usually no more than 30 minutes. The kids (7 and 10) only recently got their "own" computer when we upgraded about two years ago. There are only a few games on there - no internet access. My son is starting to get more and more assignments at school that require internet, so he needs permission from us to use ours and is supervised.

My kids get off the school bus at my mom's every day, and on average spend an hour there before they are picked up. What I've done over the years is pick up things for them to play with/do and keep there. We recently (my sibs and I) got her a wii so that's an option. Board games, playing cards, old fashioned lincoln logs, tinker toys and the like are all good options.

I keep a timer in the computer area. A "turn" is 30 minutes. When there are other kids over or my boys are with their cousins, everyone gets one turn, then it's time to go outside or do something else.

Often when they get together, the kids bring their own devices: NintendoDS, laptops, Ipads, and they play together and share eachother's games so they're all playing something at once. After an hour or two, I'll give the 5-minute warning, have them stop for a snack and tell them that after snack it's time to do something else. I usually get a group groan because they are so engaged in their games. But once they are away from the computer area and eating (food has a magic way with kids, especially teenaged boys!) they are really open to suggestions. If it's a nice day, I'll point it out and say, "why don't you guys get out the razors and skate boards and play outside for awhile and off they go!

If we are going somewhere without other kids and my boys need to bring their own entertainment, they will each pack their backpack with books, games and throw some sports equipment in the back of the car. Mine are older than yours but they've been doing this for a long time. And, like yours, they are blessed to have a sibling fairly close in age so when we go someplace they know they will at least have one other person to play with.

Always come prepared for no computer time. If they get computer time, it is a bonus. You can keep a timer to use once computer time has started and set it for 15 minutes before they are out of time. That way, they have a warning that they only have 15 minutes left.

My husband and I work with computers.
Our son gets some computer time at home, but just enough to get his homework done and maybe play a game once a week.
Our son has his whole life to sit in front of a machine and right now we want him to play outside and do other things.
Now is his time to be a child and not be some tied to a computer office drudge years before his time.
Things to do without a computer - read, bake cookies, color, make paper airplanes, play board games, play cards, build with Legos, put together a jigsaw puzzle, etc.