Hi J.,
When it comes to issues like these, reasonable is not what matters. What matters is that you and hubby come to an agreement on what will best work for your marriage and family. Since he does spend time with the children and help out with the family, I believe being supportive in his dreams of being a star someday is a fair trade. Maybe he in exchange could give up Poker night or agree to outings of 3 nights a week. This way you would be meeting in the middle. I would not enforce a curfew though as your hubby is an adult.
As for getting your child to go to sleep, this is an opportunity for you to grow as a parent. SuperNanny has her own website and may be a good place for tips. I have found that having a routine helps. My daughter likes to protest bed time, but I will generally give her a heads up before we actually need to go to bed so she has time to protest and then she gets a little more play time. This way when it is truly time to get ready for bed, I may get an awwww, but she goes and brushes her teeth and then I pop in a movie for her to watch before she goes to bed.
I also schedule our day so that playing outside happens right when we get home from the sitters. We come in, eat dinner and she is allowed a little more play time with her toys, but I try to make sure that she is quieting down for the evening so that when it is time for bed that she is not too hyped up from play (like me chasing her). It's kind of a gradual de-escalation that gets her ready for sleep.
You may not like this answer, but as a single mother to my daughter, I don't have anyone to pass responsibilities onto that I don't want to do. I have to step up to the plate and become a better parent, and I think two parent homes should have equal share and experience with tasks of taking care of the children. When your hubby is home, he can be responsible to put the children to bed, but it is also not unreasonable for him to have some time to chase his dreams and you put the children to bed.
Angie