Do You and Your Spouse Go to Bed at Same Time?

My husband is a snorer. So I go to bed and get to sleep, and then he comes to bed later. If we go to bed at the same time, his snoring starts instantly and I'm up all night. Most of the time he falls asleep in the recliner, and doesn't even get to bed until 3 AM. Fine with me as long as he doesn't wake me up with the snoring!

Hi, I think if he were going to bed at 2AM, maybe you would have a point?
But, I think his bedtime seems reasonable for an adult. Sorry, I have to say I agree with him. But, he could be more considerate when coming to bed. Does he need his cell phone with him when he sleeps?

Hope things get easier for you soon....

My husband and I rarely get to sleep together, because he works night shift. But even before that, we rarely went to bed together. My husband likes to wind down by watching TV or playing on the computer, and it annoys me sooo bad if he tries to do that while I am trying to sleep! I also need a very dark, quiet environment to fall asleep... So even if he is laying next to me breathing too loudly, or rolling over or whatnot it will keep me awake. Lol.

Plus, he likes to stay up later than I do, and is able to wake up and function perfectly fine whenever he needs to.

Nope...I go to sleep hours after my husband and wake up an hour before him. He needs his beauty rest and I can't be held back.

There is no way he will ever tell me I have a bed time.

I really don't know why, a Husband and Wife HAVE TO both go to bed at the same time.
Weird.

You also said that your Husband wakes you up.
So what do you mean?
He literally wakes.you.up?
Or, he just wakes you just due to his normal going to bed type noises/movements?
And how is that different than your kids, waking you due to their various sleep/health issues?
Then, even if your Husband is in bed at the same time as you, does that mean he will not wake you up? Just by the nature of someone moving around while sleeping or snoring or getting up in the middle of the night and having to go to the bathroom etc. and the sound of the toilet flushing etc.?

You, have sleep issues.
Which is not ONLY, due to your Husband's different going to bed time, than you.
Even if he did go to bed at the same time as you, you will still have sleep issues. As you said, "many nights I wake from 2-5am..." and maybe your waking at those times, also, affects his sleep quality, too?

He can dim the light on his screen on his cell phone.
Or use it before, he goes to bed in the bed.
Or he can also MUTE the sound on his cell phone so there is no audible "clicking" sounds as he clicks it.

Or, maybe you can sleep in another room.

Your sleep issues, is not because of your Husband.
Unless he is waking you up, on purpose.

You also said your Husband goes to bed "hours after me...."
So, what time do YOU, go to bed?
8:00pm?
I mean, if so, that is way early, for an adult to go to bed.
I can see why your Husband does not go to bed at that same time as you.
He does not have to, go to bed at the SAME time as you.
And, visa versa: What if he made you go to bed at the same time, as him???????? Would you? Can you? Would you like that?

Also: you said that when your Husband goes to bed, you are "half asleep." So you are not completely sleeping yet, even when he does go to bed at his normal time, several hours after you. You have a hard time, falling asleep.

Then: even if he did... go to bed at the SAME time as you, does that mean that it will GUARANTEE, that you have a better sleep, all night, solidly, without your waking up in the middle of the night or at your usual 2-5:00am, waking???

You want sleep and to sleep all night.
But even if he was completely quiet and went to bed at the same time as you, you would still wake.... at your usual, 2-5:00am time.
And your waking at 2-5:00am, is not the "norm" for him.
So maybe you wake him too, when you do that.
And also, though you wish to sleep all night, your kids would still wake you too.
So there are MANY variables, in your not sleeping well.
And it is not only, due to your Husband.

2 things come to mind:

1. Yup, sleep issues. Thats being a mom. I sleep so lightly, I wake up at least 3 times a night just to see how everyone is sleeping and whats going on around the house. Kids make lots of noises in their sleep, lose their blankets, wet the bed, have bad dreams... yup. I think most moms have these issues.

2. The sleep debate between husband and wife... every couple has their differences in sleep patterns/preferences. My husband annoys me no less than at least 3 times a night. The fan he wants on, the covers he twists up, the "cuddling" (molesting) he tries on me in his sleep, waking me up. His occasional jump-out-bed-screaming nightmares. I just wants a solid night's sleep but it aint never gonna happen between the hubs and the kids. So I am sometimes up every hour pretty much. Though I mostly settle back fairly quickly.

I am not saying that your issues aren't annoying to you, just that they are probably every mom's issues. I know they are mine. I also find myself thinking my husband is completely selfish in his sleep preferences (the f-ing fan! He refuses to bend on it even if I am freezing cold and my eyes/nose/mouth are so dried out I cannot sleep!) But what is there to do? I sometimes debate sleeping in another room once in awhile, just for that rare night of uninterrupted sleep... but I rarely do. I don't think I would begrudge you that, if you have a guest room, maybe go in there a couple nights a week? Or tell him you'll do him a million favors if he just spends one night on the couch for you to have the bedroom to yourself.

My husband and I get some of our best "us" time at night in bed together. Wether we are snuggling and watching tv or playing a card game or whatever, it is quiet time for just the 2 of us without kids, phones, work or other distractions. One of us might fall asleep before the other but because we have both already settled in for the night it has never been an issue with one waking the other.

From what you are describing, I think both you and your husband are being a bit unreasonable. How is it fair for you to try to force him, a grown adult, to go to bed when he isn't tired? What is he supposed to do? Lie there and stare at the ceiling counting sheep? If your husband knows you are such a light sleeper than he shouldn't come to bed and turn on tv, use cellphone or anything else. Come to bed when he is ready to shut everything off and go to sleep.

Compromise could make it so you are both happier with the situation!

We usually go to bed together, but sometimes I go ahead of him, especially with a toddler in the same bed. He is usually not far behind, but occasionally there's something going on. I may or may not even notice when he comes to bed. I wake on and off through the night and am not bothered by anything going on around me. I could likely sleep beside a train track with a train running all night.

Why do you wake so easily? Does he literally jump into bed? Is his phone volume on HIGH? Are you the type who can't settle into your sleep until you know that everyone is down? Are you wanting to control his behavior?

With so much going on with your kids, I don't understad why you're concerned at all with his sleep habits, since he's not complaining. He could very well need some alone/down time before going to bed. The more you harp on it, the more he'll resist and then resent you. Maybe your need for compassion from him has nothing at all to do with when/how he comes to bed. My suggestion is that you leave him alone and work out your sleep issues for yourself. If compassion is an issue in your marriage, seek professional counseling.

Does he go to bed with you the nights he wants sex? Maybe have sex more often😉. Seriously.

I really don't think you can tell a grown man when to go to bed. What if he told you he would go to bed with you but you had to stay up? Bedtimes are a personal decision.

I agree with you that he should not use his cell phone in bed since it wakes you up. That is just plain rude.

I think these issues are the reasons a lot of married couple sleep in different rooms. (Someone asked that question on this site before, if interested you could try searching for it)

I usually go to bed hours before my husband but I don't have sleep issues so it is not a problem.

No, we do not go to bed at the same time. I have sleep issues as well, and I do better if I can fall asleep before he comes to bed (he snores). I usually go to bed several hours before he does as I get up earlier as well. He takes a while longer to unwind and watches tv downstairs for a while before coming up.

I have to agree somewhat with the statement that nobody is going to set a bedtime for me. I am an adult and should be able to choose my own bedtime. You cannot control others, only yourself. That being said, it would be nice if he could be respectful of your need for uninterrupted sleep. Can you have a discussion about how to make that happen? Can he agree to not play on his phone in bed or turn off the sounds so it is not clicking? Can he agree to being quieter when he comes in? What else can YOU do to ensure a more restful sleep? Blackout curtains or a sleep mask? Splitting the duties of getting up with waking children?
Again, if someone told me I had to go to bed at a certain time, I would be pretty annoyed...and I would not do it. He is probably pretty set in his sleep schedule and coming to bed with you at the time you mandate is probably going to lead to him laying awake in bed being annoyed and not at all sleepy...if he even agrees to do it.

I have compassion for your situation but I think you're being unreasonable. What time do you want him to go to bed? 11 or 12 is a totally normal bedtime for an adult. I'm never in bed before then and my husband isn't either. When one of us does get into a pattern of going to bed earlier or later, it doesn't affect the other one. There are times when I get really busy with work, volunteer commitments, holiday prep etc. where I might not crawl into bed until 3 or 4 am. There have been times where his work was so busy that he was working 20 hour days, coming to bed at 3 and getting up at 7 to start all over again.

The fact that you wake up from 2-5 am (outside of when you're dealing with your kids) and have sleep issues is not a problem that he can solve for you. If you have sleep issues, try to work with your doctor on solving them. Him going to bed earlier isn't going to give you a good night's rest.

I think it's reasonable to expect that when he comes to bed, he doesn't turn on lights or use electronics in bed as those are poor bedroom habits in general. If the light bothers you, sleep with an eye mask (I use one when I have migraines and it's amazing how much more rest I get). If you wake up because you hear him, try ear plugs.

Finally, is it possible for you to sleep in another room until you solve your sleep problem? That might allow you to get the rest you need while you sort out why you are waking up and how to correct your own sleep pattern.

That is exactly why I think being forced to share a bed, even if its because that's what married people are "supposed" to do, is a form of psychological torture, in my opinion. I sleep in my kids' rooms, but I dread the day they are too old for that. Even as a kid, I couldn't stand being forced to share a bed with my sister on vacations. I did everything I could to avoid having a roommate in college, and succeeded. I also have trouble sleeping (and if you've ever read my posts, you'll see that my kids inherited it!) I used to lie awake listening to my upstairs neighbors walking across the floor and wishing evil on them. I sympathize with you, but I also don't think your husband has to go to bed at the same time. In fact, for me, if I have to sleep with hubby, I prefer to fall asleep first. But I do think you have a right to a technology free bed. He should use his cell phone somewhere else.

Tell him that since he clearly needs less sleep than you do, he can go to bed whenever he wants, but he can get up to get the kids' breakfast at 7AM every day.

Or, since he's not tired early and you are, he can use the time between when you go to bed and midnight to do dishes or clean the house. Maybe if you were doing less housework, you wouldn't be as tired and you'd be able to stay up later.

Or, since he doesn't need as much sleep, he can start taking care of your child when he wets the bed, or when they wake up for some other reason.

I'm serious - I don't think it's the bedtime that is the issue here. It seems to me like the issue is the uneven division of labor in your house, leading you to be exhausted.

That said 1) no, we don't go to bed at the same time, and we don't care and 2) have you considered sleeping in separate rooms so you can get to sleep? People can have very healthy marriages and not sleep in the same bed every night.

Separate bedrooms!! You'd be surprised to find out how many married couples actually have separate bedrooms! When we were first married I almost always ended up out on the couch because of my husband's snoring - still to this day he refuses to do anything about it and it's only gotten worse. Then we had babies and I was the one getting up with them and I'd just stay out on the couch because I didn't want to disturb my husband. But then after this went on for awhile, my back was starting to hurt so I just decided to make up a second bedroom. Additionally, since we have different bed times - he's very disciplined about going to bed at 10; I like to stay up and watch tv, read or get on the computer - this has worked out very well for us.

My sister and her husband have separate bedrooms as well because of his snoring.

It certainly doesn't sound like he's going to change so you might want to consider making up a separate bedroom. I think sleeping habits are very hard to change. I know there is no way I could go back to sleeping with my husband.

Good luck!!

Wow, just wow. Perhaps you can sleep in a different room than him?

Put in some ear plugs?

Use a sleep mask so you can't see the slight light from his phone?

Take a mild sleeping pill?

I truly sounds like you are trying to order him around. I can tell you right now that if my husband did this to me I'd tell him I was NOT going to lay there for 3-4 hours until I was ready to go to bed. That if he ordered me to go to bed when he wanted me to go to bed that he'd seriously regret it because I would be reading or watching TV because I would be totally bored.

You're going to have to try to figure out ways to get around this. If he's working and does not have to be at work at 8am, since he's sleeping past that time I imagine he is working afternoons/evenings or the 2nd or 3rd shift. He isn't tired and it's really not fair of you to make that your issue. Sleep in another room or take the couch for a few weeks.

The kids go to bed at 10:00pm and get up at 8:00am. I go to bed between 11:00pm and midnight and get up at 7:00am. My husband who works until 11:30pm stays up until 2:00 or 3:00am and gets up at 9:00am.

You say that your husband goes to bed at 11:00pm or midnight and that you go to bed hours before him. What time do you go to bed? Maybe you are having trouble staying asleep through the night because you are trying to get too much sleep? The average adult only requires about eight hours of sleep per night. If you have to be up at 7:00am, then 11:00pm or 10:00pm would be a more reasonable bed time. So instead of asking him to go to bed earlier, why don't try to stay up later? I know that there is no way I would be able to go to bed at 9:00pm just to please someone else.

I would make a rule that there is to be no cell phone use in the bedroom.

Have you spoken to a doctor about you sleep issues? Perhaps you need medication.

Ask your husband to take over looking after the kids nighttime issues.

If you really can't deal with your husbands sleep cycle then perhaps you need to sleep in separate rooms.

Hmmm...we're the opposite.
My husband goes to sleep 1-3 hours before me and gets up about 2-3 hours before me.
He might stir when I get I to bed, bit it doesn't bother him.
The phone thing though? That should stop.
Or maybe if he's not in bed by x:00, tell him to hit a spare bed or sofa if it disrupts you that much.
There's NO way I could "make" myself go to bed and sleep when my husband does. Ain't happening.

I think the issue is not when he goes to bed but how he behaves. Most of the time, I go to bed around the same time as DH. If I am up, I try to do the noisy things (flushing toilets, brushing teeth) in another bathroom or before he goes to sleep. I try to respect his sleep. On the flip side, if he's naturally up at 6:45 and DD gets up at 7, he'll get her started on breakfast before I have to get up around 7:30. Because dads can do childcare, too.

So I think your real problem is how he thinks you need to get up all night and when he comes to bed he can behave in a manner that wakes you or keeps you up. So your choices are to ask him to change his behavior or you change yours. I'm personally not a fan of separate bedrooms under most circumstances, but it may be time to ask him to sleep in another room if he bothers you when he comes to bed at a later hour.

Or instead of asking him to go to bed when you do, ask him to be respectful when he does come to bed. There is no need to wake you. If he needs to mess with his phone, he can do so before he comes to bed.

We rarely go to bed at the same time. Husband has a changing work schedule. And has since we have been married (over 16 years). Some days he goes to bed as early as 8:00 pm. Some nights he doesn't get home until 11:30 pm, or not at all if he has a midnight shift.

You learn to accommodate each other.

I am a night person, he is a morning person. With him going to be sometimes at 8:00 pm, there is no way I am going to (or even could, since the kids are still up) go to bed at that time. So it really is irrelevant if I go to bed at 11 pm or 1 a.m., except for how it affects me the next day.

His bedtime changes daily due to the constraints of his work schedule. Mine stays relatively the same (late). I am very careful not to wake him. I make sure that I do not need anything from our room after he goes to bed. I even get my sleep clothes out sometimes, so I don't make noise going into the bathroom or closet for them later. I wash my face, etc while he is still up. I do not come into the bedroom with a phone, or tablet or a book or anything else. When I come to bed, I get in as quietly and gently as I can so that I do not disturb him. It makes no difference if it is 10 pm or 2 a.m. he is asleep. So I am quiet and careful and deliberate about any noise or movement that might disturb him.

I think it can be okay to have different going to bed times. But if your husband is disturbing you, then you should focus on the disturbance, not the time. If he comes in and FLOPS into bed, then discuss how that is disruptive and wakes you. If he comes to bed and flips on lights, discuss that. If he comes in and makes noise setting his alarm clock or whatever else it may be... discuss THAT. The time is actually a non-issue in my opinion.

Please consider separate rooms if you have the space. I love DH to death and we've been married for 20+ years. Less than a year in to our marriage, I was the walking dead. I didn't realize how much sleeping in the same bed with someone would ruin my sleep pattern. When two people are in the same bed NEITHER one of them gets a good night's sleep.

I developed a bit of insomnia after DD was born 14 years ago. We had already been sleeping separately for many years at that point. DH uses a breathing machine for apnea now so being in the same room will never happen. He goes to bed between 9 and 10. I go more like between 1-3. I sometimes wake him up around 12 for some adult time (wink wink). He comes over to my room and then goes back to his own bed afterwards. We have a very good sex life and there's something about an invitation for such that we both like.

It's not your husband's fault that you're a light sleeper. Try getting some personal quiet space for yourself and I promise you'll be sleeping better in no time.

I see nothing wrong with your request, but his refusal to even occasionally try to go to bed earlier is crappy. My husband and I are in the same situation - but sometimes he'll come hang out in bed with me and then go downstairs after I fall asleep and some nights I stay up later than usual - I'm exhausted, but I try to meet him half way. Couples with different sleep cycles aren't that unusual.

ETA: I think it helps that neither of us really watch TV in the evenings and if we do, it's usually netflix - so we can watch netflix in bed together and aren't tied to a tv schedule. So we might hang out in bed and talk or read or watch a movie and then I roll over to sleep while he surfs his phone - then he goes downstairs and hangs out for an hour or two after me - I wouldn't expect him to fall asleep at the same time - he couldn't.

eTA: When we were first married hubby was the night owl and I would fall asleep waiting for him to go to bed. Over the years and through recent medical issues, I have become the night owl and he now falls asleep waiting on me. Routines change over years and sometimes it is for the better and sometimes for the worse. We all have our own sleep patterns built in at time of conception and some need more and some need less sleep. You try to find a happy middle grond.

Original post: We go to bed about the same time and talk. Sometimes I go before him. I am one of the lucky ones who can put their head on the pillow and be out. Many nights I don't recall him coming to bed.

If my husband was that noisy coming to bed he could sleep in the spare or guest room. He never learned to be considerate of his fellow. You stated that you wanted peace and a good night's sleep so it might be best if you took the spare bed and slept there.

My and uncle had separate bedrooms and slept well.

Love is beautiful but being a bear because you did not get rested is not fun and can harm the whole family. When momma ain't happy nobody is happy.

Have a meeting of the minds to figure out how to resolve your sleep issue(s).

the other S.

PS Now that he is home all day he ready to go to bed when I am. But there are times when I stay up late and go to bed or he stays up late and I am in the bed. Depends on the projects we are involved in at the time.

We typically go to bed at different times b/c our schedules are different. I go to bed around 10 and up at 5:30. He works swing and comes to bed around 1 or 2 am. He is extremely considerate and closes all our doors when he gets home and keeps the tv very low. When he does come to bed he slides in very quietly and it is not very often that I wake up.
Have you considered sleeping in a different room. I would be a mess if my sleep was so disrupted between my husband and children.

I think since he is not willing to compromise or respect your feelings I would start sleeping somewhere else. My husband snores loudly sometimes (seasonally, it's allergy related) and I NEED my sleep, so on those nights I sleep on the couch (or now that two of our kids are off to college I can sleep in one of their beds!)
Maybe he will be nicer to you after coming into an empty bed every night.

Many couples find that when their sleep needs differ greatly sleeping apart during the week and together on the weekends works for them. When my fiancé and I realized that are needs were becoming dramatically different as life progressed we began doing this and it has since helped.

Another approach is to discuss each other's needs while you are both awake and in a good place. Find a compromise and move forward.

I don't think you "need" to go to bed at the same time, but he certainly should make an effort not to wake you when he comes to bed.

Going to sleep at the same time is about sharing time together in the evenings and at bedtime. Only you can decide how important that is to you and your marriage. But not waking someone who's sleeping is basic courtesy and respect and I'd worry that it's not important to your husband that he do that for you.

Sorry for some of the really rude responses on here...

Yes, hubby and I go to bed together 99% of the time (usually between 10-11pm). He gets up an hour before me and is very considerate of noises/lights.

Do you have a guest room where you can sleep?

I suggest that you change your approach. Instead of asking him to sleep the same time tell him you need to sleep and you need for him to not use the cell phone in the room and to not wake you up. Follow thru by allowing natural consequences when he does this. I would certainly not be in the mood if he woke me for sex for example. If appealing to his better side by asking him to allow you to get sleep doesn't work, I'd calmly, without anger, arrange a different place for him to sleep. Perhaps put a pillow and blanket on the couch for him.

This will only work if you can focus on what you need and not on blaming him. Talk with him without anger. Know you are making a reasonable request that you expect him to accept. Don't allow him to turn this into a fight because when we fight about something we lose sight of the issue and how to resolve that. Walk away and try again later if his reaction is to blameyou.

I also suggest that this situation illustrates a need for the two of you to reconnect. Your life is focused on the kids and their needs. He feels on the outside with no or very little need to be involved. I suggest you give your relationship a higher priority. Have date nights. Spend time together earlier in the evening. I suggest that once he is involved with you he may see how being involved with the care if his children benefits him.

I suggest that counseling either together or just for you will help.

No but I have to be at work way earlier than he does. Your husband is not a kid so I don't think you can ask him to go to bed when you do. Maybe you need a noise distractor like a fan. You might still hear your kids. Ask him to leave his cell phone out of the bedroom. Maybe separate bedrooms? I have to sleep in our spare bedroom when my husbands snoring is awful. If the bed was more comfortable in the spare room I'd probably sleep in there all the time. I actually sleep better in my own bed than with someone.

The majority of time we go to bed at the same time. The nights when we don't, the one who stays up does their best not to disturb the sleeper as much as possible. It's just common politeness.

A suggestion for you...you may need to take a weekend off. Get a room at a nice B&B and let him deal with the kids for a night or two and he might be a little more receptive to your need for more restful sleep.

To be blunt, after 20 years with my husband... your husband is a jerk (to put it nicely) and you're a push over.

I would lay out exactly the problem of why you go to bed earlier and why he needs to as well. If he refuses I would tell him if he's not in bed by a certain time then the bedroom door will be locked and he can sleep on the couch. Make him get up with the children as well! He is VERY selfish and old fashion. I learned early on that life is too short to play games and if he isn't going to be reasonable then life becomes hell for him.

My husband used to get up hours before me in the military. That's fine. The problem was that he "needed" a very loud buzzer to wake up, which was fine, BUT he would hit the snooze 3 times before finally getting up! So I had to hear his wake, his snoozes and then later my soft music alarm so I could get up our 2 kids we had then. I got tired of that when he wouldn't listen and get the heck up. So I moved his alarm across the room so he'd have to get up to turn it off and then when he got up I'd roll to his spot and refuse to let him back in bed and yell like a crazy person to go to work you freak! He's been quiet in the morning now for years, lol.

You have to stand your ground. If he doesn't respond to reason then force the situation on him. It's ridiculous that he's chooses a stereotype. What's he afraid of? And being selfish? That's when you play his game and show him what you do by not doing those things for him anymore. Maybe then he'll see how selfish he really is and what all you do for him.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

My husband and I go to bed together almost every night when I'm not working. Not because we feel like we "should", but because we really enjoy that time together. We get into bed and talk, listen to a podcast, read, watch a show on the laptop, give back rubs/head scratches,cuddle, make love, etc. It helps both of us to wind down from the day and get sleepy. On the nights when we can't sleep together due to his business trips or my work schedule, it's harder for each of us to fall asleep on our own. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's just what we are used to. It took several years for me to get used to sleeping with someone else, and I don't think I sleep as soundly with him as I would alone, but I wouldn't trade it.

However, if your husband works evening/night shifts on a regular basis, then he probably won't be able to go to bed at the same time as you.

Sounds almost like in my house. Hubby comes to bed anywhere from 2 -6 hours after me. He has started sleeping on the couch since baby has started waking me 1-2 times a night, but until recently, he thought nothing of waking me when he came to bed. And like you, I lay awake a lot.

I would never insist that hubby comes to bed with me. I go to bed before 10 most nights, and he is a night owl. Instead, I did ask him to sleep on the couch until baby wakes me if he doesn't come to bed within 2 hours of me going to sleep. If he comes to bed within those first few hours, he usually doesn't wake me.

I think my hubby finally started to get it after being home for a week with me and the kids. He saw how little sleep I was getting and how long my days were. He knew I was trying hard to be more patient with the kids, and when you are exhausted, it's hard. Maybe you can figure out how to help hubby see your need for sleep, but, I think you also need to see that you can't dictate when he sleeps. You need to find a compromise.

My husband and I go to bed at different times most of the time. He needs less sleep than I do, so if he goes to bed when I do, it's worse for him. I go to bed between 9 and 10, and he goes normally by midnight. Sometimes he falls asleep on the couch. Rarely does he wake me up, and he does most of the night time things with the kids, always has.

No way I'd even be remotely nice if my husband acted the way yours does.

My husband wakes up at 5:30am for work and goes to bed at 9pm. Kiddo goes to bed with him (We co-sleep). The next hour or two is the only kid free time that I get and as much as I love my kiddo... I need that kid free time to unwind before bed. So I usually go to bed between 10pm and 11pm, and then get up whenever kiddo gets up... Usually around 9am.

We always go to bed at the same time, but we don't go to bed early either. After the kids go to bed, is our time to spend together. We usually spend it watching our favorite shows together or a movie, but still together. Sometimes, one of us falls asleep on the couch and crashes there until the other is ready to go to bed, which is usually sometime between 11 and 12. But I can think of 1 maybe 2 times one of us went to bed without the other, and both times were during an argument. But we both wake up at 6:45 to get the kids ready for school and us ready for work.

I do think it would be a bit unfair to ask your husband to go to bed with you if you go to bed early, especially if he enjoys his nights. But I also think it's a bit unfair that you wake up every morning to deal with the kids and he sleeps in so late. Somethings gotta give and I'm not sure what that is.

Both around 9pm, him sometimes earlier as he's tired from work and gets up early.

I usually go to bed later. My husband wakes up a little more than an hour before I do for work so he needs to go to bed later. Sometimes he gets pouty about it, but like tonight, I want to watch Castle before I go to bed and I know he can't sleep with it on.

I seldom went to bed at the same time as my spouse, but we were careful not to wake one another.