My daughter Madalyn is almost a year old and still not sleeping through the night! She is still up 1-2 times a night and my husband and I are having a hard time with it. All of her needs are met, she doesnt seem to be waking up because she's hungry, although sometimes she will drink a little bit. She seems to be waking up because she realizes she is alone in her crib. We have tried everything from night-lights to cutting down on daytime naps, to the "cry it out" method. Some co-workers of mine suggested it, but when we tried it, she cried for almost 3 hours and wouldn't go back to sleep. Both my husband and I can't stand to hear her cry like that, so that is almost like torture for all 3 of us. With another baby on the way, we would really like to get her in the habit of sleeping through the night. She was sleeping through the night at about 3 months old, but soon stopped. Any suggestions would be wonderful--not getting enough sleep while pregnant is so exhausting!!
I think this is normal. She is not a year old yet. I have 4 grown children and 10 grandchildren. Most of them didn't sleep till 2 or 3 years old. Did you try feeding her or bathing her before bed time? Be patient, this will come. As for the crying out method-this won't work, trust me. Good luck.
D.
Well S. congradulations. I have a baby coming the end of this month, with a going to be fifteen month old. SO i know that your tired. I was having a problem with my son sleeping also, so i put a radio next to his bed and he sleeps alot better now. It didnt totally go away, but helped. Also he loves pillows, and so i gave his two of those. He struggled with acid reflex and ear infections, and pillows seem to help him with that. Another idea is to maybe give her a bath and bedtime snack before bed. I hope this helps, and good luck.
Also sometimes he doesn't sleep through the night because of ear infections or teething, and if teething is the case I have found that those teething tablets are a god send. And as far as ear infections go, you need to see a doctor.
She may have a hard time with the silence try some white noise, maybe a fan or a cd on quietly. classical music or soft jazz tends to be very soothing. Our son really liked Applachian spring by Aaron Copland. and he also likes military band cd's
i know with my two they go in phases. my son(3) went thru this phase last summer where he would wake up every night and come down to our bed. this went on for months.
we did what i guess they would call the crying it out method with him when he was about 9 months. but..from talking to other moms i have found out that alot of people, me included at first, didn't have the correct information on how it was done.
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/7755.html
what we did was let him cry for 5 minutes. then we'd check on him. comfort him, pat him..but not pick him up. lay him back down. say something soothing. usually after 3-4 times of this he was asleep.. but we also knew his cries and could determine the difference between cries of wanting us to come back up and cries of being scared and something wrong. those later cries we would go up and pick him up to totally comfort him. but you can modify any method of anything to your life style /personality. (we were doing it the way the book said i found out later,,,,but i thought we weren't..lol. if that makes sense)
there was a 2006 new book that Ferber wrote..it's mentioned on this link as well.
with our son we used a nightly routine that included lulliby music that we played after we left. with our daughter she has her nightly routine and we turn on her bear that plays that heart beat sound. if she wakes up,, we sooth her and turn her bear on. our son at 3 now does a good job of puting himself to sleep. but now there are 'monsters' to contend with..lol
it's funny,, when my 21 year old nephew lived with us(mom/dad) along with my sister, i can remember at nap times my mom would say watch the clock when he's crying, in 7 minutes we'll go check on him. 7 minutes feels like forever when you are listening to a child cry. but even back then, and i'm sure before, there was always a 'cry it out' method but just not called that or had as much publicity or objectors.
my heart goes out to you that she cried for 3 hours! i wouldn't let her cry that long. that's not part of the method.
Good luck!
you have to take the part of all these ideas and try them out, make them yours,,
T.
S.-
My children both did not sleep completely through the night until I taught them to. My daughter enjoyed nursing at night and then I got pregnant when she was 13 months and then I was not getting enough rest waking up with her at night. So at 18 months I used the methods in The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It took a little time since she is stubborn, but it worked and she is now 3 has slept wonderfully since 18 mos. My son is 14 months and naturally starting to sleep very long stretches since he has an easier temperment. But depending on how I feel I will probably use the same methods on him. Since I am not pregnant I enjoy "checking in" with him at night. Also if you are into co-sleeping is wonderful, it helps you get plenty of sleep.
one question. do you let her fall asleep in your arms or in bed with you? if you do try to get her to fall asleep on her own in the first place then if she wakes up at night she won't think she is still with you and that might be why she's freaking out. if she was older I would suggest going to a ENT doc to check her adenoids, my daughter would never sleep all night then when she was 7 she got her adenoids removed and has slept well since.
I definatly feel your pain. My son just turned 14 months old and I am due ANYDAY with baby #2. My son is usually pretty good unless he has an ear infection and he will wake up several times a night. If you havent already, take her to her ped, she if he/she has any advice. You could try a lulluby CD when she goes to bed and play it all night long. Then maybe sometimes they dont feel so alone. Good Luck to you.
check her ears-- visit the peditrician- she may have an ear infection and wakes in pain- my 16 month old slept through the night from 2-4 months and has not done it consistently since- but he has had constant ear infections-- even when he appears perfectly healthy-- also the peditrician can talk you through the cry it out methods that are more bearable....
I read an article about sleep (written by a sleep disorder specialist) that said all kids/people wake at night, the question is whether that can fall back asleep without help. Does your daughter fall asleep at night more or less on her own? If so she's more likely to settle at night.
Personally, I think that while our culture says babies should sleep through the night and not bother us parents, it's a bit unrealistic. Sometime our little ones just need us, and they don't know that it bothers you to be needed. They are reaching out to you for comfort, that's why I have issues with cry-it-out methods. It seems to send the message that you arne't there for them, which as a parent I don't want to send to my babies!
My son still woke once or twice at night at a year old, most nights at first, then 2-3 nights a week then only once a week or so, until he was about 16 months old when he rarely woke. He would still sometimes wake up cause he was cold or uncomfortable, and needed to be covered up or his pillow fixed. Since he's been in a twin bed rather than a crib he rarely needs anything at night. He might have slept better sooner but I nursed him at night until 13 months then night-weaned since he was hanging on to that once a night nursing session. Even after he quiut nursing at night it took a few months for the night waking to stop.
If it is an every night thing, and not illness/teething related, my guess is she just has some trouble resettling and is relying on you for sleep cues. Some of the suggestions you've gotten about ways to help her sleep are great. Whatever cues that don't involve you being there that you can give her that it's time to sleep are helpful, whether it's music you play, a sleepy-time blanket, etc. so that when she wakes up and the conditions are just like they were when she was falling asleep she knows it's still time to sleep. If she needs you, try to make your involvement less and less "involved." For example, going from rocking to patting a back, to just going in and "shh-ing" her. If you don't pick her up at night she'll have an easier time falling back asleep on her own. We patted our son's back when he woke, shorter and shorter amounts of time til all it took was quickly covering him back up and he was fine.
Best of luck and congrats on the new baby!
S.
Hi S.,
Our doctor told us that after 9 months, a baby is capable of sleeping through the night without needing to eat. She also said that if our daughter wakes up in the night after 9 months, not to offer her a bottle (or nurse her) but to figure out what else was wrong. Sure enough, it happened. It was so hard to go in there and not just feed her. But we discovered what it was was that she just needed reassurance that we were still "here". So what worked for us was to just go in and let her see us and rub her head or whatever soothes her to go back to sleep. We would also sometimes pick her up and just pace around her room humming songs to calm her down. Then we would put her back in her crib and tell her "goodnight" and she was okay. That was our experience. So maybe that is all it is for your little girl. She just wants to make sure you are still "there" if she needs you. Hope this helps!
Sincerely,
E.
I have two children 17 months apart- which is about where you will be with yours. My children (now 2.5 and 4) have their own "patches" beside our bed. They were always good sleepers when they were healthy, but once they would get sick, they were terrible. So this method works for us. Anytime they are sick, lonely or whatever they can come and sleep on their patch (just a thick blanket/comforter on the floor). Sometimes they don't sleep in their beds at all. But at least they are out of my bed. Eventually, they will get back to their beds. Your's might be too small for this, but it's good because now they rarely wake us up. We simply find them in the morning sleeping soundly!
Hi! Your daughter is probably looking for you. My son did that until at least a year old. I would rock him back to sleep, even though it was like 3 AM and all I wanted to do was go back to bed But eventually he knew I was there and he quit waking up and crying. He is now almost 4 and a wonderful sleeper.
None of my kids are/were good sleepers, it's just not their nature. They ave grandparents who are practically insomniacs so there was no hope for the kids! :) She may be growing, going through something, teething, perhaps she is cold ... it could be anything. Our son does that and it sounds like they are near the same age. He still does not sleep through the night but I don't work so it's really no big deal. One thing I can say is she will out grow it. And if all else fails, get her a couple of super safe crib toys for her crib and let her play. We have these little chime animals the attach with a magnet in the fabric and a frog with a little clamp that we have attached to his crib and I let him play. Pick your battles, my pedi said something VERY intelligent, you can't make them sleep or potty, you just can't! Good luck. And when you want to pull your hair out because she wont sleep, say thank you God she's healthy and can do this! It helps me.
