Crying It Out - Bayfield,WI

I always give my 1-1/2 year old about 15 minutes of crying before I go back to his room. I am not against helping him fall back asleep but I also want him to learn how to self sooth. Ill tell you what, the 15 minutes of crying is very hard on me and my husband. It does work. I would say that you will have 2-3 days of hell before it actually starts to work. After a week or too you should be golden. After 9 months you can start this process. Good luck! Be strong!

I was so against crying it out until my son was waking up multipal times and was so hard to get back to sleep. What I do is give him his bottle (in my lap), when he is done with his bottle we cuddle for about 5 min less if he is really tired then lay him in his crib. The first time I did this he cryed for only 10 min felt way longer.

:(
its important to remember that this too shall pass, and its going to be easier if you trust your instincts and follow your heart, whatever that means. your intuition will tell you what your daughter needs, and thats a good thing, because it will be the ONLY sure guide for you to get through this point in her life.

i never used cry it out with my son who is now 26 months old. he sleeps wonderfully, but we always respond to him when he cries after going to bed... after all, children dont have the capacity to be sleeping and decide to wake up and cry to manipulate you :P they wake crying out of some genuine need.

she might have night terrors..? is she really fully awake, or is she seeming like shes still partly asleep? night terrors are common reasons for night waking and crying. my son has them, and sometimes he will go right back to sleep within 15 minutes or so, and other times he actually wakes himself up, which is sometimes worse because then he is disoriented and confused and scared. either way, we remove him from his bed (in hopes he wont connect the scary feelings with his bed) and we comfort him until he goes back to sleep.

there are times when you just KNOW your child is just tired and needs to go to sleep. our son has kinda whined some nights until he went to sleep. one of the things that we found helps that is having a few board books in bed with him (we started that when he was REALLY young... 10 months??) so that when he is in bed not wanting to go to sleep, he has something to do. he also has one of those musical catepillars, and a clock that plays a song... it gives him some comfort i think, and something to disctract him into going back to sleep.

also, putting a sippy cup in bed with water in it might help, maybe shes thirsty :P. our son was ALWAYS thirsty at that age.. and having that cup where he could get at it all night was really helpful.
obviously, night lights help...
white noise? we all are addicted to some white noise. :P my husband ran the bathroom fan every night before we had our son, and now is addicted to the vacuum track on a cd we found called for crying out loud. its great! we ran the vacuum the first 2 months after our son was born before we found this cd and its awesome!
anyway good luck!

Crying it out did NOT work for my oldest (he would make himself throw up), but it did for my second. He's mostly been very good about going to bed, but sometimes had to cry it out for a good half hour.
At 13 months, there could be several reasons she is waking up, especially if she is going through a growth spurt. With my boys, they were usually hungry or in pain. We starting doing a bedtime snack of oatmeal, and giving them Motrin if we suspect pain (teething, earache, growing pains). That usually takes care of it, but every time I think we've figured it out, something throws up for a loop.
Good luck!

It worked for us after only 3 nights. The first night was the worst for us, listening to crying for over an hour, but the next two nights were half hour and then just 10 minutes. Now, all of my kids know how to put themselves back to sleep. We are all so happy we did it.

I do not have any suggestions for you because my son is 14 months and we are having the same problem. We actually have a playpen in our room and he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams until he comes in bed with us. We tried to put him in his crib and he woke up screaming so we got him. We have not tried this again because I do not want him to be scared or think we do not care. I feel terrible letting him cry and this is a huge problem because I do not have the heart to do it. We know we need to grow some go-nads and do it.

i did the cry it out method when my son was about 6 months old and it only took 3 nites and he was sleeping thru the nite and he never cried for more than a half hour. He is now 18 months and will wake up and talk or wine once in a while but goes back to sleep on his own. If he cries when we lay him down he usually stops and is sleeping within 15 min. Some people dont like it and its tough listening to you baby cry but im very glad i did things the way i did. Good luck.

With my daughter we did it at about 6 mo too. 1st night cried 45 min, second night 5 min, 3rd night no crying out in 1 min. We did go through minor setbacks along the way for example she was good from 6 mo to about 12 mo but then started crying again when she learned to stand in the crib. The crying at that point wasn't too bad though maybe 5-10 min.

With my son I don't think we ever had to do crying it out because we put him to sleep on his own from day 1. I would rock him a little after feeding him but would always put him in his crib awake.

One thing to be aware of though is if something else is going on. By the time I had my second child I learned that if my son was up at all during the night it was usually an ear infection. This may not be the case for you but if you say she used to sleep all night and now she is waking 2x at night it might be something else. Also at that age a night light helps so that if they do wake in the night they aren't as scared.

and...one last piece of advice... We also had a music box attached to the crib that both my kids would turn on by themselves at night to help them put themselves back to sleep.

We tried CIO with our eldest and although within a week (5-7 days, can't remember exactly) it seemed to work, after a few months, I feel it back fired. Suddenly she wouldn't sleep at all. We spent a year of just listening to her howl all night long and nothing worked. We saw doctors, pyschologists, etc - it was a nightmare. So w/our 2nd baby, I decided just to go to her everytime she cried - babies can't be spoiled and cry only b/c they need something (or someone, maybe they just need reassurance that Mom is right there, and where is the harm in that?!?). I'm happy to say that at 15 months, she still sleeps all night and has been since 9 months. Good luck and go with your instinct for what feels right.

Cry it out did not work for either of my boys. With my oldest he had chronic ear infections and I never knew if he was crying because of ear pain or other reasons. Under those circumstances I didn't feel comfortable with CIO. By the time he got tubes and his ears were no longer bothering him he had developed asthma and would cough a lot at night. Couldn't try CIO because crying would make him cough until he threw up. My youngest is very spirited and temperamental and would cry so long (45 min. or more) and get so worked up that he would throw up in bed. I tried CIO briefly (or the Ferber version of it), but got tired of cleaning up the sheets, carpet, etc, plus I thought it was unfair to let him cry in that situation. I think whether it works or not depends on the temperament of the child. Probably the more spirited your child the less likely it is to succeed. I ended up using other methods to work on their sleep habits and recommend the book "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and her website, www.parentchildhelp.com. It took awhile, but they are now 9 and 12 and the older one is a great sleeper. Given the history, I am still very protective of his sleep and limit sleepovers, late night outings, etc. (much to his dismay!). The younger one still has trouble unwinding at night, but otherwise does well. Good luck.

I know you're specifically asking about CIO (which I do use most of the time), but here's something else to consider. My DD is 13 months and is having the same problems with sleeping lately. I discovered on accident that her legs are really sore from growing pains. It seems to bother her most at night and wakes her up a couple of times. She can usually self-soothe, but can't when she's hurting. If I massage her legs, she sticks her thumb in her mouth and goes back to sleep. Tylenol helps too. Good luck!

My son went through this phase too around your daughter's age. I would go into his room and rock him, he would instantly fall asleep on me, but would wake up as soon as I put him back in his crib, so I knew he was genuinely tired. That is when I tried the cry it out method. I hate to hear him cry, but I stood just beyond his bedroom door where he couldn't see me and waited for just a minute or two. He did cry, but suddenly he stopped because he had put himself to sleep. If it was apparent he wasn't going to stop crying (i.e. working himself into a frenzy, standing up in his crib, etc.) I would go back in, rock him and try it again a few times. Another thing that has been working for me is I put him in his crib, play some soft music with the lights dimmed just enough so I could see if he had fallen asleep and lay down next to his crib where he can still see me and hold my hand. That usually puts him to sleep fairly quickly too.
With the cry it out method, my advice is try it in a way that is comfortable for you. I always made sure my son was dry, safe and feeling ok of course. When it was apparent he was just having trouble falling asleep that is when I would let him cry for just a couple of minutes. It did work 90% of the time. Good luck!

A.

HI Leah,
No one likes the CIO method...but I have found it to work. We did it with my son at 6 months, and have never looked back. After 4 nights, it was over and my son who is now 16 months has been a wonderful sleeper since. He loves going "night-night" and sleeps soundly from 7-7.

How we did it was let him cry for 15 mintues (the longest minutes of my life at 3am) then go in and tell him to go back to sleep - rub his back, but didn't pick him up or stay long - and leave the room and wait another 15 minutes. By the third night we only had to do this once. And by the 4th night I was waking up expecting him to cry, and he never did. I would also recommend turning off the baby monitor if you have one in your room. My trick was also to use one earplug - that way I didn't have to hear the majority of the crying, but I still could hear him to know how long it lasted.

Good luck if you decide to give it a try.

Hi Leah,
I did the cry-it-out and it worked after only a couple of nights. It may take longer or shorter. It was well worth it. Both my children were happier in the morning along with us.

We did Crying it out with our now 2 year old, at 7 months. It was hard for the first 2 nights.

At that time, before I decided to go for it, she was still waking 3-5 times a night and wanting to nurse for comfort. We were also rocking her till she was asleep and then having to very gently lay her in her crib and sneak out - if she woke, we would have to start all over again. She was also a horrible napper - after rocking to sleep and laying her down, I was lucky if she napped for 20 minutes at a time, maybe 2-3 times a day!

I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - it really helped me understand what she needed as far as sleep. We decided to let her Cry It Out for my sanity and health, I was not getting much sleep at all.

The first night, she cried/screamed for 45 minutes....then she fell alseep, and slept from 7 pm to 12:30 am, nursed once, and went back to sleep without crying, from then till 6:30 am - it was like HEAVEN, and that was just the first night. That success gave me the strength to keep going. The second night she only cried like 20 minutes, and then slept till 12:30, nursed and slept again till 6:30 am!!! Third night the crying was about 10 minutes, and the 4th, maybe one little whine as I left the room! Ever since she has beena great sleeper at bedtime and nap time....with a few setbacks at holidays or when sick or teething, but nothing major.

SHe actually asks to take a nap or go to bed when she is tired, and always puts herself to sleep happily.

Also, check out her room - from as early as 3 months, CJ wouldn't nap in her bedroom - we figured out it was too bright in there, once we hung light-blocking curtains, added a cd player of lullabies on repeat and a small circular fan on the floor, she did SOOOOO much better. We also make sure there are some stuffed animals and board books in her bed with her for her to look at/play with as she is falling asleep, and after she wakes up. She will play happily in her crib (has since we did CIO) for 1/2 to 1 hour after waking in the morning!!!

Good Luck!

Jessie

Leah,

I had exactly the same problem. It took us awhile to get on the "crying it out" train too. It took about 3-4 days of real consistancy. If our son wakes up we change his diaper, get him a drink, put him down again. No chit-chat no turning lights on just boom boom boom...done. He goes back to sleep every time within a few minutes or right away. sometimes he still cries but it isn't anything like before. Crying maybe last AT MOST 10 minutes but more like thirty seconds.
At first when we were getting him used to crying it out we would put him down and he would cry, cry cry. So after 15 minutes of crying you pick him up. Check/change his diaper. Offer him a drink. Kiss him goodnight then back down again. If he cries for another 15 minutes do it again. Be consistant. Thats all, you/they will sleep through the night in no time! Good luck and sweet dreams. Debbie

We let our daughter cry it out and she usually only "cries" for 5 minutes or less. It isn't what I would call real crying. More like venting her anger. She never screams and cries to the point of not being able to breath like I've heard some people say happens with their children. She occasionally wakes up now (19 mo old) at night, makes some noise and then goes back to sleep.

We did this with our second child and she is now a great sleeper. With our first, I was up at least once a night with him until he was about four! By that time it was just a bad habit. He is 14 now and tells us he has trouble falling asleep most nights. I think we (as newbie parents) did him a great disservice by not teaching him to put himself to sleep at an early age. As far as the crying goes, I think it took our second child about 3 or 4 days. I am a wimp when it comes to my kids crying, so my husband had to do it. But, it was SO worth it. I wish we had done this with our first one!