Hi, so i had been writing in about how crazy my SIL is towards her kids, pays more attention to the older one and zero to the young one. well my MIL wants to talk to them both about how lazy and a good for nothing mother she is. my SIL went to mexico for a few weeks to spend time with her mother and ended up going out day and night leaving the kids unattended and the grandma in charge, so my MIL wants to tell her son in law all of what her daughter was doing while in mexico with her, except my MIL wants me to be the interpreter because she speaks spanish only and son in law is english speaking only. I 100 percent agree with everything my MIL is/wants to tell her son in law but I'm not sure if I should be the interpreter. I don't wanna be hated on just for being the "messenger" but my SIL is crazy and lazy and she needs a reality check and HELP`! What do you all think? I am on board about if she doesn't want her kids to leave them with us, if they bother her that much. Like i said, i'm so confused as if i should be the interpreter??? HELP , feel free to read my other post
p.s. let me add that my SIL will be there too but my MIL doesn't want her to translate anything
my husband is against the whole thing,plus he knows that won't do his sister any good except hate on the mother even more, doesn't want us doing it, but my MIL says that she will feel much better if she lets everything out that she needs to say , its her "job" she says. so she asked me if i could translate. yikes. Of course she asked my husband but he said no, so she is asking me.
I would stay out of it. That is her daughter and if she feels compelled to let her have it then she needs to hash it out direclty with her or find another person to translate to the husband. I wouldn't get involved.
I would not participate in this unless I wanted to be in the middle of it. I would call child welfare on this family if I truly thought these children were being neglected. I have called on my own daughter and she has lost 6 out of 7 children due to her choices. She is doing better now and is raising the baby very well.
Your SIL, Your MIL. sounds like your husband should be the one put in the middle it's his sister and his mother. I assume since they both speak spanish so does your hubby. It's his blood family let him do the dirty work.
Yikes!
I think you should hand this O. off to your husband...and be sure to make plans to be in another county that day!
Don't get involved! Your asking for advice right? All your going to do is put yourself in the middle and it could even put you and your husband in a bad place. It's his family 1st and if he wants to stay out of it I would follow his lead. Let your MIL handle this on her own. If the kids are in danger then you know what you have to do.
Sounds like a TON of drama!!
Sorry, but you both need to butt out. No translating just so your MIL can feel superior and blast your SIL.
Nothing that is said will do any good. It is not your MIL's business if the SIL went out night and day and left the kids with family members. She will not change one single solitary thing that she does with this scorching your MIL wants to give. She will just hate her more.
This is between your SIL and her husband. MIL's and mothers don't belong in between a woman and man's marriage. Calling her lazy and good for nothing? What the heck does she expect to accomplish? She might get her tires slashed by SIL. I will tell you, if my MIL would have EVER said something like that about me, I would never have taken my kids to see her ever again. (My MIL would NEVER have done such a thing.)
Tell your MIL that you have given it some thought, and you have decided that it would be an idiotic thing for her to do, and you won't be party to it. The kids mean more to you than her getting her revenge on her DIL. And that is exactly what this is - revenge. The son-in-law knows exactly who he is married to. He does NOT need to be reminded.
And by the way, it is NOT her job, and making her "feel better" is the excuse of a meddling, hateful, busybody know-it-all. Don't dare sit in her camp.
Dawn
This is between your MIL and her daughter. Stay out of it! Some how, some way, you will end up being the bad guy.
Honestly, I would go with your husband on this one. It's his family - I would respect his wishes.
So this mom wants to tell her SIL that her own daughter is a bad mother? Is that the story? (It's very confusing) So your SIL is your husband's sister? So bascially your MIL wants you to communicate a message to her SIL that her daughter, your husband's sister is a bad mother, etc.
The ONLY way I would get in the middle of this is to INSIST that your MIL tell her daughter ahead of time, and again at the time of the meeting - what it is that she's going to tell her husband. When the 4 of you get together at the kitchen table ask your MIL to talk to her daughter first, in your presence, so you can hear that she's telling her what she intended to tell the SIL. Once that's out of the way, you turn to your SIL and say something like "Listen Sally, I do not want to be in the middle of this but I was asked to translate - that's all. I am Switzerland and am not taking a position in anyway." Then while translating, try, whenever possible to help your SIL and BIL save face. Your SIL will know what her mother said, and she'll know how you translate it. Measure your words carefully and try to always explain it in a way that doesn't embarass anyone. Then get the he$l out of there!
No one will ever thank you for this translation service - you may want to tell your SIL and your BIL at a later time that you really didn't want to be in this but your MIL begged you to be the independent translator.
Good luck - this is a no-win situation - you know that right?
Telling anybody, even through a second party, that they are bad, wrong, crazy, lazy, or in any way deficient is likely to have less-than-zero positive results. If anything, people tend to cling more tightly to their "right" to be whatever they are. So I'd stay out of it.
What gets people to change is generally having too many negative results/consequences of their choices or behavior. Some people do eventually get there, and many others never do. That's their business, not ours. Too bad, huh? What a world this "could" be if we could just talk sense into other people. But then, of course, we'd have to be open to having other people address our faults – and unfortunately, we all have some.
Probably the best thing you can do for your SIL's children is to give them as much positive, loving energy as the situation allows. This will help them evaluate what good parenting is as they grow up. Hopefully, it will improve the treatment their own children get, in spite of poor parental modelling from their mom.
Best!
No. I wouldn't do this. If your husband said no, then I would tell MIL that you are following your husband's wishes and will not participate in this fiasco.
Say NO!!! Listen to your husband and do what he did. Don't step in this mess! Avoid it like the plague. Your MIL can find someone else to translate. You're not obligated.
YOur husband needs to step in and tell his mother that you will not be translating for her. Then you stay out of it unless the children are in immediate danger
I just read your last story and it made me cry. My heart aches for this little one. All he wants is love, affection and attention from his parents and he's definitely not getting anything. He's being neglected! I know what others are saying but SOMEONE needs to be this baby's advocate. Someone needs to step in and do what's right. They need a wake up call. Big time. Mil wants to step in, is trying to step in but there's a language barrier and she can't. Why does your husband not help his mother do what's right for his nephew?
It all breaks my heart. Yes it will be drama to step in but isn't that baby's well being worth it? He needs help...
cant you offer to pay for a translator for her? then you would know the kids were being protected but you and youer husband would be out of it? If your husband is against it and its his family you have to decide if its worth putting your husband in that poisition and going agnst his will. If I was married and I asked my husband to please not get involved with drama from my family and he did anyway I'd be upset, but if you truly believe this could help the kids or the husband is unaware that would be a deciding factor as well.
i just read your previous post about the airport and i almost teared up :( that is so sad. but i have to agree with most everyone else - you really need to stay out of this...it's not going to end well. if MIL wants to go off on SIL then that's her business...but it sounds like the MIL and the SIL both speak spanish, right? so by rights she really needs to address this with SIL anyway. i get that she wants (her son?) the dad to know what's going on, but unfortunately it's just a bad situation all around.
unless the family is planning some kind of intervention or something...i think you really should stay out of it. you're not going to make any friends doing this. hubby is right.
but jeeze...that poor baby :(
