Houseguest with Stress/Anxiety Related Hives Problem?

Okay so you have a computer...you can Google sites that can translate for you information back and forth so the two of you can communicate.

Hopefully, the SIL knows how to handle her attacks of hives, so you won't have to do anything but allow her to rest. Hives can be a stress reaction.

Maybe even investing in a mini pocket compute-like translator could help...suggest she buy one. So when she is out and about she can still get assistance.

Men never see the problem in having ten people come to stay because they don't care if the house is clean or the sheets on the beds are washed, etc etc etc...so I feel your pain.

Hopefully you can get in a routine...breakfast then maybe they go out for a while, the beach (are you close?), and then lunch, resting in the afternoon, then dinner and then your husband is in charge!! try to keep it simple

And remember she might be nervous about staying so long and how she will get along with you...

Having some stress/anxiety issues myself and feeling pretty fragile...I ended up taking a six day trip to see relatives and it did me a world of good. Just being away from everyday stresses, I slept better than I had in months, I helped with cooking cleaning, took the kids swimming everyday, etc etc.

It was just what I needed to get my feet back under me and go home a new woman...so maybe you will be blessing her more than you will ever know just by being her hostess and allowing her a place to go to heal.

I would let your SIL know up front that they can stay, but that you cannot be their personal guide all the time. Maybe try to set up a schedule that you can be with them once in a while.

I don't know what else the doctors in HI will have to say about her condition, I can't imagine it would be much different than what she has already heard.

I used to get hives and it was stress related. It took almost a year for them to go away completely. I still get them if I am extremely tired. (Mine started when I was working an early morning shift 4AM to noon and my body couldn't take it). Once she figures out what is causing her stress they will subside if she can reduce the stressor.

I think this trip might make her hives worse. Being in a new place and not speaking the language are big stressors.

Your SIL suffers from Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria. Please understand it is not a "mental based." There is no reason and there is no immediate cure. She can only manage the symptoms and sometimes even that is hard. Please be a little sympathetic of her situation and do not judge her. She's not choosing this and it is not her fault. She is only visiting for three weeks. It may not be the best 3 weeks of your life, but you may actually like her and her daughter; they are family after all. You could learn a little bit about her culture and her yours. You all can have fun and one day you can visit her country, she owes you one. Your kids can get to know a foreign cousin. Is it really so bad? She isn't expecting you to cure her hives, she isn't expecting you to itch them for her, and in no way will she blame you if there is a flare up. Sure, maybe she's hoping for some spontaneous cure in Hawaii, but sadly it won't happen.

I had hives EVERYDAY for 10 years. I am a very normal person with a very normal life. One day you get hives and you don't know why. I did all the things your SIL did to try to find some relief. It is like banging your head on a wall because nothing works and because nothing works you do feel crazy and depressed. I would have traveled to Hawaii too in hopes that something would cure me. I would have done anything. Think about agony of itching like crazy 24 hours a day. The embarrassment of an ugly rash, your eyes swollen shut, vomiting because your throat has closed up, unable to bend your arms and legs because they are so swollen. If I knew my visit and my "mental issue" was causing my relative so much grief I would be disgusted. I'm sure she will be very appreciative of a little vacation and a little escape.

BTW, my hives just went away one day. No reduction in stress, no magic cure, no diet change, nothing. That's often how it works with autoimmune disorders. Again, please just be patient and understanding. It's only 3 weeks.

You have every right to be stressed out and irked! I am irked just reading all this crazy for you. Sooo unfair to you! I understand that he has to work, and all that and that his family is coming to visit. But why, why, why???? is his friend coming to stay??? He isnt going to even be home, he will be at work. It is not your friend. It is his. Seems ridiculous, and shouldnt be happening because his crazy train family is already coming. For. 3. Weeks. Is that not enough for you to deal with?

Nice that your hubby thinks it's no biggie. Yeah, cause he wont be there to deal with it all. The family, the kids, the house, now his friend. Not to mention trying to salvage your own sanity here!

Is there any way that you can schedule like a boat tour of your area for his family for a day? And then I dunno, a Bus tour? and then, some other tour? That doesnt include you? Then you could pick them up whenever it ends? That way you can be free from them to do what you need to do, and they can still see the city and be out of your hair.

It's not fair that you have to figure out how to entertain them, when you dont even speak the language. And now with SIL problems, its just too much. You need to tell hubby that he needs to help you find things for them to do, and figure it out cause it shouldnt all fall on you. You have enough to worry about and do yourself to be dealing with all this.

I hope the best for you! I would sit them in front of the tv and leave, and tell them you will be back later! and if they ask where your going, just tell them CRAZY!

ETA: Maybe if your SIL is so "Fragile" and stressed maybe she shouldnt come at all!

It would be helpful to know what country she is coming from and what language she speaks.
That being said, I can only offer general information. I get stress related hives also, I haven't had a break out in over 5 yrs. Benedryl is the medication of choice, sometimes Clariton works but not for me.
She needs to find a way to break the cycle of stress. Stress builds up adrenaline and the more adrenaline the more stress, and the cycle repeats. It would be helpful to her and to yourself to learn some relaxation techniques and practice them daily. Also areorobic exercise helps to burn off the excess adrenaline. It can be anything from running, to dancing, to pounding nails, to punching a pillow or heavy bag. 20-30 minutes daily will burn off the excess adrenaline and stress and she will feel a lot better. Once she is feeling better she needs to find the source of the stress and anxiety and find a way to deal with that and get it out of her life.

Wow!!! This is really going to be an awkward, uncomfortable 3 weeks for you! As others have mentioned the only thing that I think can ease this burden is using a translating program. My father-in-law married someone from China and they communicated via e-mail (with translation program) and through a hand held translating device. I have to admit it was kind of funny. I'm not sure exactly what she was writing, but it translated to "happy as a lark" throughout the entire email. We get that she was happy, but I didn't know that larks were such happy birds. My fil would show us the e-mails and tell my hubby and I how sweet they were and well, hubby and I had a lot of laughs over the translations.

Ok - I've digressed. I think you should download the translator now and write you SIL an e-mail. Ask her what she is expecting from this trip and from you. Maybe she just wants you to drop her off at the beach everyday? Tell her you want her to have a great vacation, but you still need to get housework done etc and find out exactly what her agenda is.

The only other thing I would do is to make sure you have benedryl and calamine lotion in the house so you have something to offer her should she have an outbreak. You definitley shouldn't be her caregiver, just have the itmes on hand should she need them.

*I just looked up handheld translators and you can get them starting at $10 plus shipping from Amazon. They can get pretty expensive, but I'm sure for your purposes the $10 would suffice.

Wishing you the best in such a not-so-fun situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy, I hope it's not as bad as you think it will be!
Honestly there's only so much you can do.
Have your husband talk to his SIL ahead of time, find out what she wants to do/see while she's there. Make sure he tells her you will NOT be able to take her to any doctors because of the language barrier.
I'd be tempted to drop them off at the beach or the mall for the day and let them fend for themselves!
Seriously though, since your husband can't take off of the day from work make sure HE entertains them in the evening. Don't ask him, TELL him, honey, dinner's on the stove I'm heading out for a few hours!
You need some down/away time...go for a walk, a workout, drinks with a friend, whatever...you will NEED a break and it is HIS family, he needs to step up.

Aww. You need to find a way to relax and let it go before YOU end up with hives!!

As for how to entertain them, take them sightseeing. Tag them with your name and address and leave them at the beach for a few hours. You don't say where they are from, but perhaps there is someone in the area that knows the language that can play tour guide for a few days?

One thing that would help would be to go around your house and label some basic things with their word and our word. My daycare provider has this throughout her house. It helps the kids learn.

Are you near that new Disney resort? Perhaps you could go there one day?
Think like a tourist that is coming for relaxation. What would you want to do.

I am not really sure how you and your husband said yes to this when you are clearly against it. However, it's too late to complain now because you said yes. So, what you need now is solutions. First of all, people who come from abroad come for so long because it is a long and expensive trip and they want to make the most of it, especially in terms of seeing relatives they rarely see. So, they don't need to be or expect to be entertained all the time. They can just "be". What I would do is to put your husband to work before they get here. You should come up with the questions/phrases that you may need to say to them and he should make a translation guide for you. On the left side of the sheet would be your question/direction in English and the right side of the sheet would show it in their language. You should also include what their answers may be. Same thing with both languages. It can also include pictures with language translations as well. As each day progresses, you may figure out more phrases/questions/answers that need to be added to the list. Your husband should come home each night ready to update the list. If he does not know the language, he still needs to own doing the work on this job. You can help come up with the info, but he owns the translations. You should also come up with a schedule for you that the guests will fit into. Have this translated as well. Monday we sightsee. Tuesday is a stay at home day. Wednesday we go to the beach. Thursday I drop you off somewhere for a day on your own. Friday, etc.... You need to think of them as family and not guests. I hope this helps. It is not all of the answers, but hopefully it changes your mindset a bit. Just decide that you will be in charge of how this goes as opposed to being pulled in all directions by this.

Sounds to me like you need to just take and deep breathe and exhale.

Go out and get some Yoga CD's if you don't have any and get a good workout. Yoga is very calming and soothing. Even some deep breathing exercises may help too.

Check into free things to do. Just because you don't speak the language doesn't mean you can't communicate. Body language and some basic simple words will help. Many people speak with their hands without even realizing it.

Get some natural treatments for hives like oatmeal baths and other naturally soothing things. Think essential oils, creams and lotions from your local health food store.

Be the best hostess you can be but don't let her condition weigh you down and stress you out. My guess is her 12 year old probably knows better than you how to deal with her mother's stress.

Herbal teas like chamomile or green tea may also help tremendously in keeping her calm. Soothing music may help to reduce the stress.

So make the most of it and stop thinking it is going to be this dreadful situation because it may not be any of that and you would have worked yourself up into a frenzy over nothing. Relax so your house guest can relax too.

I hear your own hives coming on! :) It's really tough being sideswiped into doing something that other people collaborate on. Especially when they are not at all taking it seriously enough. I can tell you for one that being the "sister-in-law" myself in a similar situation (I will tell you more later)...that I can almost BET she will be expecting even more than you are even worried about now. Don't be alarmed though. Think about it realistically and it will make more sense and hopefully give you more control and the upper hand when things start happening, i.e. she arrives...

I have lupus and had a really tough year a few years back and someone I knew well invited me and my two boys out to stay with him in Hawaii. He was a childhood friend I knew from church when we were young and he was military so he had expenses paid and room for us to hang out and for me to recoop from the worst health I had ever had. Well it was all so wonderful sounding....same thing you mentioned about Hawaii seeming to be some magical retreat to fix all your cares. I imagined a house close to the beach and to be able to go rest in the sun (shaded of course) overlooking the waters while he plays with the kids so that they are not impacted by my needs and lack of ability to mother.

Anyway, it was very different than what I imagined and especially different than what he imagined. He had no clue how to help with the kids, and he shyed away from my neediness in being sick. He didn't know the first thing about lupus and I think he just thought he was doing a good thing by having me over.

I was no picnic to him either. So learning from that big time, I would have done some major ground laying beforehand, which she needs to do with you through your husband. He needs to know that things could turn ugly if expectations that were had are not met. Adjusting becomes awkward.

3 weeks is much longer than it sounds and I think your husband just needs some help seeing that. (Try getting him to imagine you gone for 3 weeks and see if it takes the blinders off.)

Now I know the translation thing is tough...you might want to ask your hubby to give you a list of common words and phrases to at least help you with that. A two way list of translation would be good for you and her to point to in order for you both to understand each other.

You may want to take some pictures of where you live and what her room will be like. The fantasies will be much less if you give her a "tour" of what she will be living like for 3 weeks before she even comes. And therefore you won't be to blame is she doesn't like it.

To be honest I felt cheated when I was let down by his place and where he lived. And I totally couldn't blame him, but it still felt horrible. It wasn't like his place was bad but to what I had imagined....it was. 3rd floor...no elevator...no w/d and had to take clothes across parking lot to wash...beach was 20 min away...you get the jist. She may be thinking the same because it is so easy to fantasize about Hawaii.

Now that I have lived there for 7 months I can attest that yes it is beautiful if you visit and stay on a resort beachfront....otherwise it is pretty much the same anywhere you go. Lol. Let her know what beaches you are nearby but also tell her the drivetime and how busy it is and how hot or rainy it gets. She needs to get a wake up call for your good AND hers.

Most of all I hope you will get something out of this experience and teach your daughter the ways of helping others. This is one of those hard situations that has amazing potential for growth and immense blessing whether it works out for you right away or not. The guy and I split on shaky ground. I walked away thinking I couldn't stand him. Come a few months later and he did something really nice for my son's school and I realized how much of a jerk I had been to him to expect so much. But he also apologized for not researching and being prepared for my health issues. We both expected something and we were both disappointed. But it happens. Come to terms with her beforehand and try to enjoy getting to know someone different.

I think with her issues in health someone to listen and be a good recipricator of her feelings will do wonders. I really wanted someone to just let me talk out my own denial and frustration and worry from what was happening to me. It's amazing how often we try to "fix" something we can't fix when all the person wanted was to come to their own healing by way of someone listening.

I will be praying for you and hoping God works a miracle like you have never seen. Maybe you will even become great friends and extremely close to your husband in the process. I hope good things come from your sacrifice. I know God blessed my friend. I prayed abundant blessings over him after realizing what he did for me. Much love to you dear!

Seriously, I don't know why you have allowed yourself to be bullied into putting up with this. It is way too much for your husband to expect you to deal with his relatives for 3 weeks straight considering that you do not speak the same language. You are asking what to do....I just wouldn't do it at all. You need to level with your husband and come to some sort of agreement. This is too much to expect from any wife.

First, I'm glad to hear your husband has a new job and I hope that he likes this one. I have wondered about how you are doing after your post on your husband wanting to quit his job and wanting you to go back to work :)

To me, the biggest challenge will be the communication barrier. You say she comes from Europe; what language does she speak? I ask because if it is common, say French, there are electronic translation devices that can be found and they are the size of a cell phone or calculator. We have one and it translates four or five languages and it's pretty cool. It was not expensive.

Now onto her hives issue ... honestly, what can you do about this? Nothing. This is her condition and it's hers to manage. I can't imagine that she'll be stressed on vacation in Hawaii, but you never know.

If it were me, I would plan some jaunts to the beaches, some nature hikes and maybe a lunch or two out. That's it. Have her bring lots of reading material and have your husband touch base with her and confirm that this is a time for relaxation, getting in touch with the natural beauty in Hawaii and personal reflection.

I wish I had more suggestions to offer! 3 weeks is a long time for a house guest. Maybe the language barrier will actually be a god-send! Good luck and keep us posted.

I see where you're coming from. It sounds as if, possibly, your husband is himself from another culture -- correct? If so, is it a culture where it's considered perfectly normal and no big deal for people to stay with relatives for extended periods? Culturally, he might feel that not only is it no big deal, it IS a big deal to say no or suggest a hotel, etc. I'm not saying that this is an excuse; I agree with you that this sounds like potentially a lot to take on. But it may provide an explanation for why he seems to be so "checked out" and just not hearing you when you say you have these concerns. It's time for him to hear just how checked out he is and to know that if he doesn't start to take a role, he's affecting his marriage negatively.

I would sit down with him at a time when there are no kids around, your mom isn't around, no TV in the background, he has nowhere he needs to be in half an hour, you aren't all on the way out the door to somewhere -- and tell him in that setting, face to face, that you need to lay out some issues and need him to take your concerns seriously and take certain ACTIONS you are going to discuss, so that the visit can happen -- but so that you and he are not having marriage trouble once it's over! The fact he also has a buddy coming to stay next week indicates he is willing to open the house readily, and if this irritates you, it's time to discuss it with him before you have a stream of folks staying.

Be ready to offer something positive rather than just say how this bugs you (though again, I agree that it does have aspects that would bug me too -- the length of the stay, the expectation that you are the entertainer-in-chief and chauffeur and food provider, and the expectation that you will take the guests to the doctor!). Just saying you're not happy with this isn't working so I would get specific about actions he has to take.

Positive here might be along these general lines: I know this visit is set. I want to see the relatives and get to know them. But I need some ground rules, and some things dealt with before your SIL gets here. First, I'm concerned that she will get sick while here. So you need to phone her now, in her home country, and ensure she brings whatever medications she needs, copies of records translated into English before she arrives, whatever. She and you have to talk to whoever you need to, to ensure that any meds she brings are OK to bring into the U.S. You need to talk to her in detail so she understands that in the U.S. it can be hard or impossible just to walk into a doctor's office; she does not have medical insurance here. If she is sick she will end up in a hospital emergency room, not a doctor's office. She needs to know this isn't a time for her to "shop" for different answers from different doctors. Also, she needs to know that I plan to do...(here, you fill in the blank: You have your own appointment, or social plan, or prearranged meeting with a friend, etc. during a few of those days. In other words -- you have prearranged "getaway time" when you do not have to be with the guests)."

If your husband can't get off work while they're here -- and I think he should try, or they should have waited until he had vacation time and come then -- tell him he has to organize a couple of outings, even if you're the one who chaperones those outings. HE has to get online at night before they come and arrange some things, make some reservations, and hand you the details. Make him take some level of responsibility for entertaining the guests.

You may get lucky; they may actually expect less entertaining than you fear, especially if the SIL wants mostly to relax.

The language issue is the thorniest one for you. If she gets sick and the language is not one where you might find someone readiily who speaks it (like Spanish), she should have a card or document she carries all the time that explains her condition, and she should get it translated into English in writing and carry that. You will not be able to translate for her if she gets ill suddenly.

I hope I don't sound down on this woman - I actually feel awful for her because hives can be very, very painful and debilitating to the point of depression, and she sounds like she is holding out hope of feeliing better while with you. I know you'll make her feel welcome and not take the anger you feel toward your husband out on her. But I do feel that your husband is on a trend of expecting you to host his friends and family, and if that's the case, he has to do it when he can take on as much of the work as you do.

I am not a fan of house guests. I feel your pain. tell your husband to imagine what he would do-and then follow his plan. beach beach and more beach. at least that is easy. Thankfully I have 3 kids, so not too many people want to stay with us.

How is public transportation in your area? Bus service? Taxi? do you have bikes you could clean up and lend them? Europeans usually have lots of experience with public transport. Gather up some bus schedules, get the card of a local taxi serevice, HELP THEM TO HELP THEMSELVES. Along those lines give them a kitchen tour, show them where you keep the coffee and tea, all the breakfast supplies, the snack supplies.
Probably they have been doing some research on their own and are making plans of what they want to see. Sit down with them and make a schedule of what and when - do not feel that you have to entertain them every minute of every day or take them some place every day - just try to be plesant, and take them out maybe every 2 days. They may just like to lounge in the sun in the back yard, and not do so much running around.
You may be feeling put upon, but if you can fake graciousness it has been scientifically proven that your mood will lift and you will really begin to feel happier.
So, plaster on a smile, make up some menu plans, go do a big shopping to stock up, really deep clean the house, make sure you have lots of sheets and towels ready, go to the library and check out a foreign language dictionary, show them how to use the washing machine, the dishwasher, the coffee maker, etc, This is your family now. Try to be as nice as possible. Start thinking positive!! It will be a lot of work initially, sure, but try to enjoy them and see the beauty they will be seeing and try to enjoy their visit.
I'm sure they do not want to be a burden to you and yours, it seems that you are feeling fragile as well - so gather up your support system, call your friends and get some support for your self - invite others to come to the house and visit - plan some picnics, schedule some visits to others. If she wants to go to the naturopath, see if your husband can take her on a week-end to translate, for a couple of hours. It will really endear him to her.
One outting possibility for the 12 year old - see if she can go to school for a day with your kids. Another outting - ask them if they would like to go to the grocery store with you - not for a quick trip, but make it a real tourist attraction and allow them time to shop and explore. They may have never been out of their own country before, so all will be new and different. Take them to the library, maybe. Can you go to a nice hotel on the beach and have a coffee, snack or something by the pool - not a full meal, but a snack? Just somewhere pretty. How about an afternoon doing a craft - Micheal's has craft classess - do you have a Micheal's out there? I had such a memorable time once in Holland, making a tie dye tee shirt, while my girl friend ran errands. And what a nice souvenir!
Don't try to fill their whole time, allow them time to relax - to sleep. Then they can go off on their own - remember you gave them the phone number of the taxi company . . . write out your husbands work phone number so he can translate if need be, and your home address. Can your Mom help? Can she go with them places and help them as tour guide, could she get dinner ready while you go with them?
I wish you the best.

I think you will need to take some time for yourself to regenerate all that you are giving to your house guests. You should also set your limits to what you can realistically do for entertaining them while they visit. Maybe they'll have their own travel/expense money they can use to do some sight seeing on their own. Hawaii is definitely a destination where people from all over the world go to relax. Stop by the tourist information booth and take a few brochures, (I'm sure you already know this) inquire which beaches are best for lounging where tourists can hang out and just drop off your in laws for 1/2 day or more to be on their own. make some flashcards with basic communication phrases, have your husband write their translation and you show the cards to your in laws when you are trying to say that phrase to them. Don't over project the types of activities just do the minimum and no more, you must preserve your sanity!..My daughter's preschool had a saying, that I adopted in my own life; "you get what you get and you don't get upset" By sharing this statement with you I mean your guest will get the best you can do with these very limited resources. If I were in Hawaii I would put some lawn chairs facing the best view and invite them to sit....bring some snacks a few times a day....then invite them for dinner and say good night :) Regarding your husband's SIL, she will be on her own in dealing with the hives; as the British say; "Keep CALM and carry on" Good luck.

First, take a deep breath. Then, try to think of this as an adventure instead of an ordeal, it will do you a world of good. We all do things we don't want to do. In the end it's how we deal with the things we can't change to make peace within ourselves. I mean this with great love. Life is tough, you don't want to hear my story... I don't think anyone coming for three weeks expects to be entertained by you all day/every day. Why not come up with loose plan? This week place your kids in charge of putting together a package of places to go and things to do. Ask online at some local group sites. I know lots of free or nearly free fun things to do that rarely make those touristy lists. I'm sure you have plenty "gems" too. Present them with the info as a gift. Remember to include public transportation info if they won't have a car. Plan on some things to do with them with your kids, include them in the things you normally do. Let them know your schedule, we get up at A, the kids leave at B, come home at C, supper is at D, etc.. Then show them where breakfast and lunch items are. Since your kids are in school why not find a homeschool family with a 12 yr old girl for your niece to play with? You can try to find a family who speaks the language, or is working at learning it. That would be a great bonus. This may be harder on the little girl then on the mom. Definitely do something about a translator, it will make a world of difference and make it easier for everyone. And remember there are fun things to do at home. Cook, play poker with Sugar Babies as chips, get an origami book from the library. Ask them what they have planned? Maybe all the mom wants to do is sleep for three weeks. Let us know how it goes---

Here's the deal. Of course you have every right to your feelings. You mention your dad being sick and you mom living with you. You also mention that you are a stay at home mom. I'm not being insensitive, I'm just saying that you sound quite blessed with your husband and the life you live. I'm not at all saying that with this you are not entitled to feel frustrated because you don't share the same feelings for you sister in law that you do for your own family. I am merely saying that your husband lives with his mother in law full time. Regardless of the relationship and how wonderful your mother probably is, unless you both are living in the home that your mother and father provide to you (which may be the case) it is a strain to any relationship to add in live ins. This being said, the 3 weeks that they are there try to think of it as a very generous gesture on your part for your husband. I'm not getting whether this was discussed before they were invited or invited themselves...so with that, know that for the future, you both have to be in agreement of who stays and for how long and especially when. Seeing as hubby has to work, make sure that when he walks in the door you are "off the clock". Make a meal plan that is easy and get her and the 12 yr old involved and prep for dinner in the afternoon and make it a ritual so that you are able to relax once he comes home. Also, have your husband plan things for them after work and on the weekends. Let it include or not include you..not like you are being rude but just that you need a day to yourself or time to yourself to relax and just "be". You will definitely need to find "me" time in this 3 weeks and IF this woman has an episode do not take ownership of this..Her condition is not your responisbility or worry. You can only do what you can to involve her in your daily life and truly stick to that life..invite her along and do the fun things when hubby can join..I know I am all over the place but I can hear your frustration, I realize that this is going to happen whether you want it to or not, and I feel for you and hope that you can just do what it takes to live out these 3 weeks..you may find that you enjoy her :) Wouldn't that be the coolest result. Let's wish for that and good luck to you..

Take everyone to the beach in the morning. Don't return till afternoon. Let your husband cook the meals.

She can read and relax, the kids can play, and you can take a walk and escape from it all. <3

(For the record, I would be beyond pissed at my husband for pulling this. It's his sister, and he needs to step up and participate, too.)

Funny you should talk about house guests. I would simply have a basic schedule of what you want to accomplish with them and follow through. Your DH should be taking some time off for his family and if he isn't shame on him. Hawaii is such a beautiful place and hopefully they like the beach. I would make sure they have several good books, sunscreen, water and towels and tell them have a great time when you are unavialable.

First of all, breathe. It will all end up fine in the end no matter what happens.

Second, I am sure that they do not expect you to entertain them every minute of every day for 3 whole weeks. She is there to relax, not to be go-go-go the whole time.

Cyndie's answer is a really good one. If you have a few phrases and can communicate a little, you'll do fine.

I wouldn't go to the doctor with her, though. That would require translation and it's hard enough if you are the speaker of both languages, and worse if you don't. If she really wants to go, have the appts scheduled during your dh's lunches or right before work or something. That part of the situation is SO NOT your responsibility.