My ex-husband has decided that my 10 year old son is now old enough to make his own decision on where he wants to live and he has decided that he wants to live with me and my 11 year old will stay with his Dad. My one fear is that the boys have never been apart and my youndest will be changing schools. I live 2 hours away from his Dad now. Any adivce would be helpful
It is not up to the boys to decide where they should live. You shouldn't give them the impression that they can start running their own lives. I also don't believe that they should seperate. They are brothers. They should grow up together.They should live with who ever has primary custody and keep visitation rights with the other.Don't let them grow up without each other.
Dear N.,
My brother and I were separated through my parent's divorce(I did not like the new man my mother was marrying, so I moved with my dad) and I cannot say it was the best thing for us. I now think it hurt us, because as children, our support system fell apart and my brother and I living with different parents made our support even weeker. Regards, Deborah
What a tough and unfair situation for everyone. I don't think children should make these kinds of decisions. They really don't posess the ability to know what is best for them. Heck it they were able to choose they would likley prefer everyone back together. I am not sure why he wants to move and that must be important to the discussion. I can tell you it will hurt the relationship with his brother. Maybe you could move closer? I had parents that split up the children and as adults the kids that were together are close and those that were apart hardly feel they are family.
I hope you find a resolution that is in the best interest of your boys.
Good Luck!
S.
What do YOU want? No court in the states will allow a 10 year old to make that decision. Not usually until they are between the ages of 12-14 will the courts generally consider their choices and even then they only consider their choice. Talk to a lawyer.
C.
I'm a lawyer, and my advice to you is to hire a lawyer and let the court decide. Why would you want to put that possible guilt on a child? 10 year olds are not mature enough to make decisions about what they want for dinner, let alone custody disputes.
N.,
how do you feel about this? Which situation do you think is best for your son? Have they both been living with their dad?
Barb
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With boys so close in age, its sad to seperate them. I dont think they are making a good decision.
Hi,
Being a mother of a 12 year old son is very rewarding and trying. I would welcome this new experience with open arms. Children know when they need their mother and maybe the time has come that he wants to get to know you on a daily basis. Good luck to you and your boys :)
I can't imagine not having my kids with me, so I would eagerly accept his desire to live with me. I would set Dad and Mom's weekends to have both boys together, so they will also be together at those times. Then just flow with how things go and take each day as they come and adjust as needed.
Hope things work out for the best.
A.
