some nights when my 2 year old wakes up in the middle of the night he comes into our bed, so i let him stay there until the morning, unless i have to get up to pee or something, then i will take him and put him back into bed. but i am so exhausted that when i finally fall into bed at night there is no getting up. last night my son was sick,, so i put him in bed with me to soothe him, my husbadn woke up at 5:30am, and demanded that i put him in his own bed, because my son was snoring. i explained to him that the baby was sick, and he continued to get angry. he said this is my bed, if u want to sleep with the baby go into the babys bed. my feelings were extremely hurt that he was reacting in this way, so i told my husband, and he says he is fed up with the baby in our bed. but its usailly only 2 times a week or so! please help me... am i in the wrong?
well it has been 2 days, and thank u all for ur responses...my husband and i had a chat, and we both decided that when our son gets into our bed, it would be better to put him back into his own bed. he will be 3 the end of feb. however on occasions when my son is sick, or nightares, we will let him sleep with us and who ever wakes up first after he has gone to sleep, will put him in his room. well that is the plan anyways....!? i hope that it will all work out. thanx again!!!
My son is 14 now but when he was a baby he never slept with us. I dont believe in that because then they want to stay there. My niece slept with my brother until she was 7 or 8. I only took him into my bed when he was really sick to lay on my stomach and comfort him. he was always in his own bed and crib starting from the day I brought him home from the hospital.
hi S.
I understand your husbands way. Your son is 2years old and he should be able to stay in his own bed too. even when sickness is the cause. He must understand that yourbed is your bed and his is his. What about the private time you both need asa coulpe when he wants to sleep with you and you want to do something else and he's their. I now it maybe hard for you to say no. But you could try when he comes to your room walk him back to his room and sit awhile and talk, read to him until he falls back to sleep. I have tried stuffed animals, nightlights
and a soothing music tap. S. he is getting older and he has become accustom to your bed not his. You aren't wrong you just can't say no not here lets go to your room instead. Your husband needs so place to feel comfortable and so do you. Try to
make him sleep evertnight in his own bed as your husband to help you with it to. Each night he comes in one of you take him back to his room. It took me 7month before my 2year old understood big boys have there own space. Don't forget to praise hium when he has done it for a week straight. Good luck i hope this helps.
wow,
i dont think that you are in the wrong. i think your husband needs to get over himself. and understand that when you and him had the baby that your own life was no longer important and that the childs life is what is important sick or not. so tell your husband to get a life. and if he doesnt like it tell him to sleep on the couch.. my daughter still sleeps in the bed with me. and she is only 18 months. and there have been times when he gets fustrated. and i tell him if he dont like it he can sleep downstair. and you know what he does. please let me know how it turns out.
You are not wrong, but you and your husband need to find a happy medium. And who the hell is he to order you around? I agree with most of the responses that he is capable to help out. What is it with some men? It actually angers me! I am sooo lucky that my husband does his share of the parenting...
I'm not really sure how you can get your son to stay in his own bed or even that you have to. I personally am afriad to let my daughter ever sleep in our bed becuase I have re-occuring dreams atleast 2x a week that I'm being attacked by somebody and I always fight back, therefore, I am constantly punching and kicking my husband!! (Hard too!!) So godforbid my little 6 month old was in the bed...so far she is sleeping through the night in her room so it's not been an issue...yet!
S.,
Dear, dear, dear...first off I would stright tell your husband to shut his mouth. He better be happy that you are the one dealing with your son at night instead of you telling him to get the heck out of bed and do it.
Being that said, have you thought of getting an extra little bed in your room? My son used to come and climb in bed with me all the time..constantly. Now he has his own little bed (a toddler bed) which he gets into if he comes in my room. This way he doesn't disturb me, but he is in the room with me at the same time.
It won't help his snoring, but if you husband can't get over that, I'd tell him to go sleep on the couch!
I S.,
Let me preface this advice with a statement. I never think the husband is right.
So with that said, when you are both not being awakened from a peaceful night sleep, try and ask your husband what he objects to most about the boy being in the bed? Does he get kick by the boy (my girl is a kicker)when he sleeps in the bed with you guys? Is your husband affraid of hurting your boy by rolling on him in his sleep. Or is it just purely selfish reasons that he doesn't want HIS son in the bed?
Oh, and are his legs not right? if he doesn't like his son in the bed - let him get the boy back into his own bed. Why do you have to do it?
Both of children co-slept in our bed. My son's bed is still right next to mine and he is 2 1/4 years old.
Just always remember - Your husband is an adult - if he doesn't like a particular thing. It is HIS responsibility to fix the problem, and that does not mean make you do it. It is not your responsibility to make everything in his life perfect. It is his. You do enough don't take on any more responsibilties. Especially not other adults.
Good luck.
B.
Sounds like ya need to get more sleep. I can see both your points.My kids can't come to bed with us..lol bed not big enough. but we have taught the kids that they can't come in till morning. It can hurt your marriage letting your son sleep in your bed. I know it happened to my mother-in-law & she still lets her youngest come into bed at nite & he's 13 :(
my name is R. and i am very disturbed on this mans actions towards his 2 yr old son he should be ashamed of himself and there is no need for you to feel quilty on bring him in you bed. Your husband is a grown man and this child is dependent on you for feel safe and secure and i say if you husband wants to sleep alone put him on the coutch. I dont mean to say to ruin your relationship, but you have to think of your child first if not who else will. Be strong if not for you for you son. your husband can take care of himself your child cant, and that bed is both of yours, you get half of everything.
The "family" bed is a beautiful thing to many couples. And is especially attractive to a first time mom. I know, My husband and I sleep in bed with out 4 month old son since the day he was born, and have no intention of stopping anytime soon. I know I am lucky he doesn't mind when the baby wakes us up , and has not sugessted we do anything else.
But... When he was a newborn, he woke up every hour or two...and I stayed home on maternity leave and my husband had to work, there were plenty of times I woke up and found him sleeping on the couch. A man needs his sleep after all.
a mother needs to comfort her child and a man should not try to pressure her into neglecting him. Tell him to go sleep in the babys bed, or on the couch. He should be understanding of your childs needs over his own selfishness.
I can totally relate! My husband doesn't like our daughter (9 months) sleeping in our bed either. I'm not even sure why b/c she doesn't move around a lot. It was easier for me to have her in bed with us b/c she nurses during the night. She now sleeps in her crib in her room most of the night but my husband has learned to compromise. If I'm sick or very tired when she wakes, I take her back our bed. Also, if she wakes up at 7:00 a.m. and I wanted to sleep until 8:00, I'll bring her back to bed with me to nurse and try to get her to sleep a little longer! Another thing I did while transitioning her to her own room was to put a mattress on the floor. I then slept in her room instead of my own...lol! But I don't think you're in the wrong. I don't think (most) men realize how exhausting motherhood is. Your husband should compromise- twice a week isn't very often, especially if your son is sick!
Well, my son has only slept with us a small handful of times and that is when he was a newborn, because I didn't want problems when he gets older about wanting to be with us. A few weeks ago he wouldn't sleep, so we put him with us--that lasted about 10 minutes because he moves so much--so he went back to his own bed. I don't want him sleeping with us.
