My Five Year Old Daughter Doesn't Wipe After Going Potty!

Updated on August 05, 2009
D.M. asks from Durham, NH
5 answers

My five year old daughter has been potty trained for over two years and she has never caught on to the idea of wiping after she goes pee or poop. Almost every day we have to throw away her underwear because it has so much left from her lack of wiping. It's gross! I've tried getting her to use wet wipes that she can use and toss in the toilet when she's done. I've tried telling her that she has to wipe herself. I've tried wiping her every time. She often complains of being sore down there and she says that she tries to wipe but it obviously isn't working if she truly is wiping. She has had nightmares about putting too much toilet paper in the toilet and clogging it up and having the toilet explode. I've actually shown her that when the toilet gets clogged all we have to do is use the plunger and it all goes down like it should. This morning I explained to her that we can't wash her dirty undies in the laundry because of how it gets on the other clothes in the wash and then we all get sick, etc. I told her that because of that we have to toss her undies in the trash every night, and that if that continued, she'd have to start wearing pull ups again. I also told her that she can't start kindergarten in pull ups. The other problem with this lack of wiping is that she sometimes smells so gross that no one wants to be around her! Any other ideas or experience that may help us deal with this issue?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.F.

answers from Boston on

HI D.,

I remember this when mine were little. My daughter did not like to wipe either. But I know just being five she needed me to help her. So what I did is I had her do the first to wipes (with flushable wipes) and I did the third. Then after a few days I had her do the one wipe and I did one wipe to get her used to doing it. Be warm and motherly when helping her learn, she will respond so much better. We also made a chart for when kindergarten starts....so she would know when she had to do all by herself. She did it way before she started. I just don't think making her feel bad about herself at five is the best way to help her. Please be a little more patient with her, not so negative with your words. Just wash her undies out, when she does it all by her self tell her that she will get to pick out all new undies. Good luck!

D.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi D.,
I know our ped. always tried going to a reward system with our kids for potty training, or any other issues. Say everytime your daughter wipes she gets a sticker and if she gets 5 stickers she can go to the store and pick out a small item (what ever works for your budget). Hope this helps. Not a fun situation!

Also some help on improving health, have your tried any Arbonne Figure 8 products, I am a consultant with Arbonne and my husband and I use all of the Arbonne products for a healthy lifestyle. They are all SAFE and work great!
check them out at www.arbonne.com and you can contact me with any questions @ ____@____.com or let me know how to reach you. Great special until Aug. 10th..

We also represent an Ayurvedic natural healing supplement
called Zrii www.zriiproduct.com which is amazing and promotes a balanced healthy life. Zrii is coming out w/ a weightloss product as well. Let me know how I can help!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.O.

answers from Boston on

I'm not sure that this is the problem, but one suggestion would be that if she hasn't been wiping and her underpants have poop in them, as you say, then she must truly be very sore because poop burns. So that will only perpetuate the problem, because she will be too sore to wipe properly. You might want to try for a week putting Desitin on her so she can heal, and maybe use pullups during that time so the Desitin isn't such a mess, and give her a chance to heal. Then - what I found with my own children - was that while they were wiping, they thought "one wipe and I'm done" and I guess I hadn't made it totally clear to them that you wipe and wipe until it is all clean. Once I explained to them that what they were leaving behind was burning them and making them sore - they gladly started the process of wiping until there was nothing to be seen on the toilet paper. And while she is so sore, you are good to use the flushable wipes - they are easier and less painful. Also, I had one daughter who could handle wiping poops at this age, I think she was good by about age 4, but my other daughter need help all the way through age 6. She wanted to and tried hard, but she still needed me to clean up what she missed. Good luck!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think kids use too much toilet paper because they don't want to get the poop on their hands. I would switch to the flushable wipes - we use them for all of us. They don't rip, and she can use one wipe, then follow up with a second. She can use a third if necessary but at least they are all separate and not in one big wad in the toilet. When the wipe is clean, she's done.

Telling her that all her underwear needs to get thrown away or that people will get sick if it gets washed might have worked at one point if she really cared about her underwear. It sounds like now she might be so afraid of the germs in the poop that she doesn't want to go anywhere near it. If she's too scared, she'll just avoid it completely. You might start involving her in washing her own underwear. If it's a hassle, she might avoid it by wiping. Rinsing it out in, soaking it (get a plastic soaking bin just for this purpose), applying stain remover, and running a washer, plus drying and folding - might do the trick! Don't get all agitated about it - even though it's really agitating! Just calmly and matter-of-factly tell her that this is what we're doing now, and when she learns to wipe, then you two can spend the laundry time doing fun things like a hike or a day trip or whatever. It's in her power but there's not much else you can do other than take away her fun because she has to do laundry or get showered off.

After all, when you changed her diaper, or when you clean her off now, you don't throw your hands away! You just wash. Same thing with washing soiled clothing - get rid of the solid poop, then wash away the rest with soap/detergent.

Then teach her to properly and thoroughly wash her hands with soap. It's the lather & bubbles, plus the rubbing, that do the trick for handwashing. This is a good technique anyway because all the schools are pushing handwashing due to diseases like swine flu. Teach her to sing the Happy Birthday song twice (or ABC, her preference) while she is washing and rubbing. Do not let her do this under running water - turn the water off and just rub, then when the song is done, she rinses.

Be sure she knows how to wipe properly so that there's no bacteria transfered from anus to vagina/urinary area. At this point, you might not want to scare her - just tell her she wipes pee in the front and poop from the back. Two separate wipes.

I agree that some diaper cream might help with the healing in the short run, but getting her really clean should be her goal.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Boston on

My daughter is also 5 and not a huge fan of wiping! I play the when she has to go game of saying "don't forget to wipe, flush and wash game." Her main issue is the poop part but she does the first one and then I go in and see if it needs extra wiping. If her undies get soiled I just rinse them out and wash them, have never had an issue with anyone else getting sick in the house because of her stuff being washed with our stuff. Just be patient with her, some kids catch on faster than others as far as that goes. She'll get it!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches