How to Get a Child to Wipe Their Own Behind?

You took my upcoming post right out of my head!!!! How'd you do that? :)

Can't wait to read the responses. My 4 3/4-year-old son says he can't reach either. I know it is tough, but there must be a trick I don't know about!!

It's a tough reach for them.
My SD didn't have it down for awhile.
We use the analogy: brown, brown, tan, tan, white (so they can see on
the toilet paper that there butt is finally getting clean. It takes awhile.)
Provide wipes in the bathroom.
Have them drop excess in the trash bin.
Just keep working WITH them. I help & double check. ;)
It takes time & it will help as they get older & can reach better!!

I was told K is a bit messy b/c the teacher will not help at all.... so the undies can come home pretty gross!

I have an "I can't" child too and I just kept saying yes you can! and You're going to K next year - and you HAVE to do it yourself there!

it's been about 4-6 months of back and forth and she no longer says she can't.... and just does. Consistency is key.. don't slip up and do it every so often b/c I think that added an extra month or two onto our power struggle!!

I wouldn't let them out of the bathroom until they do it. Tell them that they are BIG boys now and HAVE to learn. Their friends will smell their dirty bottoms and make fun of them. Tell them that if they don't get their bottoms clean, they will get sore and hurt.

Stop cleaning for them. Just stand in the bathroom and keep saying "Yes you can!"

I used to have to put Desitin on my youngest's bottom when he didn't do a good job. He was already in school. He didn't mean to not clean well. He knew how much it hurt if he didn't clean himself. It embarrassed him for me to put Desitin on him. I really think that he realized this because I didn't baby him a few years before, but expected him to clean himself.

Good luck,
Dawn

Practice makes perfect!!!

The steps I would follow are:

Make sure they are done pooping first before they wipe. Otherwise, more keeps coming out and that will add to the mess factor.

Instruct them to keep wiping until the TP is completely white or clean....no brown streaks.

Provide baby wipes in every bathroom so they can wipe with those when they think they are all finished. Teach them to wipe a bit wider with the wipes than with the paper.

Do your boys have short arms? Maybe it would be easier to stand or to squat in order to reach a better angle. So you'll have to analyze that one.

GL!!

You have to decide do you want to wipe or wash soiled undies. My son is now 7 and can finally wipe on his own. Up until just a few month ago, I still helped with wiping. I hated not only the stained undies but the cuffs of his long sleeve shirts (ewww!!).

You haven't done anything wrong. I still wash all undies separately from other garments and add bleach...but it is much better now!!

My four year old daughter will call me to check after she has wiped...she is doing a pretty good job...maybe a girl/boy thing.

Hang in there!! Hugs!!

my daughter is 5 and does and has been for a year. I J. told her you do at school and you must at home too. theres been a rare occassion or two where she needs help.

Tips
Have wipes-i don't but plan on getting them, since she doesnt do a perfect job yet
tell them NO getting up until theyre done--some people say it may be eaiser but my daughter used to and the bathroom didn't do to well from it, shed get up too early
i would assume it would be harder with boys, girls are already doing it for peeing

My daughter is 4.5 and I've just started telling her that she needs to start trying first, then I will finish up - same thing as brushing teeth. So she gets used to doing it herself but I'm still there to finish the job so that it still gets done right. She started fussing and whining that she didn't want to, she can't, she doesn't want to get dirty, etc. but I just stood firm. I told her, "When you go to kindergarten, nobody is going to wipe your butt for you." When I didn't rush in to "save" her, she had no choice but to give it a try. I told her she did a good job trying, and I would get the rest. Sometimes I think she might be a bit of a perfectionist, and worried about not doing it right, so she doesn't want to even have to try. This is helping her to see that she will get better with practice, but will never get anywhere if she doesn't start trying.

So you might have to do the same thing with your sons. This is now what you expect of them, and you will help out after to make sure they are all clean, but they need to at least try themselves first.

I think its a hard reach, a tough angle for them. I've got four girls. My oldest is 8, and she's got it now, as does my 7 year old (but it SURE DID take a lot of effort on my part to get her to do it correctly!!!!). Now, my two younger ones seem to do a better job than their older sisters did at their age, but since they are just 3 and 4, I double check just to make sure. Just wait it out another year or so... they'll learn and probably the taller and slimmer you get, the easier. Those cute little slightly chubby toddler/preschooler/kindergarten bodies:) :) :) I mean that with all due respect to the little sweeties, but I think that's it. Ive seen them try. they DO try- it is just a tough reach (like when I ask my husband to scratch a part of my back I can't reach). They need longer arms. LOL.

My son was the same way. When I told him that he needed to start wiping his own behind, he would say, "That's gross, and I don't like to touch gross things!" I had to bite my tongue from telling him that there isn't much that's grosser than someone else's butt.

What we did is to have him practice wiping himself with a washcloth in the bathtub where it didn't matter how good a job he did and where he couldn't make a mess. Just to get him practicing the mechanics of it. We then graduated to having him wipe himself once after we wiped him. And then when it was clear that he *could* do it himself, we did the sticker chart to motivate him to want to do it. He was doing it exclusively on his own after just a couple of days using the sticker chart. He was just about to turn 5 at that point. I've never "checked" him, but his underwear has never been soiled, so I think he's probably ok.

I will say, however, that he's not exactly frugal with the toilet paper. He's really afraid of getting poop on his hands, but he doesn't seem to like the wipes. But I guess that I can live with that if I don't have to do it anymore.

A few months ago I read that children under the age of six are usually physically incapable of reaching their bottoms to wipe effectively, their arms are too short, and of course I can't remember where I read it.

Both of my older children could do it much earlier, though, so I'm not saying don't have your boys try, it's a part of their being potty trained. Let them know that big boys do this, don't accept "I can't," and don't help or they'll expect you to. Keep in mind that they have to learn to do it on their own because once they are in school you won't be there to do it, and teachers won't (I taught in pre-school and we weren't allowed.) Even if you plan to homeschool them, they need to know how to do it. Who's going to wipe when you're in the hospital with their new sister? They need to learn.

And, a daily bath helps with anything left behind and to prevent sore bottoms.

I am SO glad you asked this! I am sick of wiping his butt and washing brown undies!