My Daughter Refuses to Poop on the Potty...

ha! my son does the same thing!!! and he will be 4 in March, but he is speech delayed, so we have just recently begun to potty train (the past 3 months). He does really well at staying dry and using the potty, but when he has to poop, he wants a diaper - i think he is probably just too busy to do it and he gets bored on the pot...lol :)

bgersper

Hi my name is A., I have a little girl who is having the same problem but she is three years old, I dont know what to do either, I asked her doctor and she said just leave her alone for a couple of weeks and then start trying to get her to go on the potty again. So we are going to try that. Its good to know someone else is having the same problem, I thought it was just me!!

I know that this may sound cruel but this is what I had to do to get my son fully potty trained. During nap time and bed times don't put a diaper on her. Place thick plastic or even a tarp on her mattress and then dress her bed. explain to her that if she needs to go pee or poop then she has to go to the potty and do it. It can be pretty messy but she will be very uncomfortable and soon realize that she only has one option. I had my son potty trained at 27 months old and it only took three days. I hope that this helps.

That is not uncommon. They grow out of it...just be patient and keep encouraging her. Good Luck

I'm just getting ready to start potty training so I'm definitely no expert but I do have a suggestion that may help. Depending on how wet her diapers are when she wakes up, you could try just putting the plastic underwear over her regular panties to keep her bed dry.
Also, just so you don't feel like you're all alone. Many of my friends have the same problem. One of them has a little boy who refused to go and holds it in until the point of severe constipation pain that lasts for a whole day until he finally goes.
My other friend's little boy gets in trouble b/c he won't poop in the potty either. He goes in his underware. Well, he got tired of getting in trouble for it so he would go hide and then Empty it out--where ever he was!! She wouldn't even know until she walked into a room to find a pile...GROSS!!

I've known several little ones, including my own, who were scared of the big potty and of pooping in anything besides a diaper. It's such a different feeling! Just be patient! Just keep repeating what I did..."I've NEVER seen a teenager in a pull-up, so sooner or later..." Olivia just turned 3 in December, and started to get it about then. We bought 'big girl panties', told her that she could start going to preschool and dance classes once she was completely potty-trained, I also tried to hold her when I knew she had to go, if she started pooping, we ran to the potty and I put her on, always put her poop in the potty even if I had to dump it from the diaper, say 'bye,bye poop' as we flushed it...you get the idea! lol
also, Babies r us has a great portable potty that folds up!! there are 2 kinds. they are great for travelling! I take ours to the beach, on walks, planes, cars, to friends houses that don't have kids, also on a recent vacation, it was her own little potty for the hotel!!! she wouldn't have pooped for the entire week otherwise! She seemed to be better if her feet touched the ground. Hope it helps!

My daughter turned 4 at the end of Nov and she is just now pooping on the toilet. She has been potty trained since she was 3 but has used a pull-up to poop. Like another mother, our daughter suffered from extreme constipation since she was litte and the fear of pain was our factor. She would only actually go if she was standing up. After getting her on medication and making it easier to go, the fear slowly disappeared and she stopped holding it. We also bribed with Chuck E Cheeses for 5 no holds in a row. All I can say is be patient and when she is ready it will happen. Us forcing her just made things work - just like her doctor said it would.

KT,

One of the things that I did was I tried really hard to realize when my son had pooped in his diaper and when I would change him I would have him put the poop in the toilet.

Also when I was ready I just got rid of the diapers all together except at night until he started to wake up dry for about a week. Then if he had an accident I would make him clean it up and strip his bed and put the linens in the wash machine, etc., etc.

My son never napped so I didn't have to worry about nap time diapers, but you could try having your daughter go to the toilet before she takes her nap.

My take on the diaper at night and during nap time is this. The child knows that if they pee or poop that it's OK because they have a diaper on, we have trained them to not worry about just peeing or pooping whenever so at night it doesn't even wake them up, however when they start to wear underwear it's a whole different story, when they pee or poop it's much more uncomfortable and most children don't like it. Also they can begin to feel when they are going to pee and it will start to wake them up at night. You have to be ready for this though because it means more work for you for a little bit, but if you have your daughter be part of the clean up eventually she will realize that if she just went in the toilet it's a lot easier than all that clean up.

I hope that you find the method that works for you and your daughter.

good luck and take care,
Mel

Hello, my name is P.. We have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. Are 3 year did the same thing. We took away her pull-ups, and bought her big girl underware. Then we bought her some plastic over paties, she still has her acciendents but has learned, to control her self with thease. We give her pricnes friut snacks when she goes in the potty. It has help her a lot, and they are not totaly bad for her.
P. S

When my son was potty training we had a horrible time... We told him he couldn't poop in his pants anymore, so he pooped on the floor.... we told him he couldn't poop anywhere but in the potty and his fear of the potty was so strong that he stopped going for 3 days. Finally we took him to the doctors and they had to use supositories to make him go.... Finally a bribe of a chuck e cheese birthday party with all his friends got him to go and he has never had an accident since. My best advice... don't put the pressure on... find a way to make it fun and rewarding both. My son had a few books that he loved... they were disney books like the where's waldo book... we made it that he could only read those when he was trying... so he didn't get bored sitting there, and he concentrated on the book, instead of holding it. Our doctor suggested having him empty his diapers into the potty... because sometimes kids are just afraid of thier stuff being flushed. We never tried that... but just an idea.

Hi K.T.
I envy that you can get your daughter on the potty even to pee pee. My daughter will be 3 in April and she wants nothing to do with the potty at all. I have tried gifts and everyhing I can think of. She just wants nothing to do with it. She jumps up and runs off when you don't sit there with her.
I wish I knew what to do with this sitution when mine is not doing much better. I was just glad to see I wasn't alone in this potty trainnig.
I am really thinking about sending her to my mom for this. She is always full of ideas. I have even thought of brinking in that Nanny 911 to help me.
What did you do to get her to pee? I would love to even get that far at this point.

I wouldn't worry about it yet KT. If she's not even 3 yet I'd still give her a little more time. Most of my friends and people I knows kids did not fully potty train till 3 years old. Then after that this is what I'd do. I agree w/keeping the training pants at night but during the day I would NOT use them. They are a crutch. My daughter would go on the potty when she felt like it and in her pull ups when she didn't. A friend of mine told me to get rid of the pull ups and every time she peed or pooped in her panties make HER change them. No matter how many times, make her do it. she said it would take a good couple weeks but she'd get it eventually and go and she did. Actually,now that I'm thinking about what you said maybe once she turns 3 you should get rid of them at night and do the same thing. I know it'll be a pain cleaning the sheets all the time but it may teach her to get up and go or she will keep holding it till nap or bed time. Anyhow, I know it sucks but that's what I would do. She may be doing it too because of the 9month old. It may be a way of her holding on to being a baby too along w/her sibling.

Good luck!
S.

my son had the same problem around the same time. it started with one painful stool for him and then he would hold them out of fear(once for 13 days!). the potty scared him only because it made it harder for him to hold it. i would suggest that when you know she is ready to poop, put her on the potty and put on a puppet show about pooping. with our son, we had dinosaurs that would talk to each other about pooping and make grunting sounds, then we would wipe them. anyway, after just a few of these puppet shows, a year's worth of stool holding problems were over for us. good luck to you both!

I don't have any advice on getting your daughter over her fear of the big potty. The suggestion of the small seat to fit over the big one seems reasonable. But, what worked for my son was bribery. We hit upon a treat that he looked forward to & stuck to it. It only took a couple of weeks for him to get it. It just takes some time. Good luck & keep your sense of humor.

first thing i will tell you from experience..if you stress about they will stress about it. my son will be 4 in march and we started potty training almost a year ago. at one point we actually stopped and within a few days it clicked with him. now the only time he has accidents is at night and very few times during the day (like if he is playing reallly hard). we tried the reward system and what worked for us for a while was we got the plastic easter eggs that you can put whatever you want inside. we put m&m's (not many but this was the only time he would get them), or pennies, or stickers. everytime he would go to the bathroom, he got the choose one. he enjoyed getting those to the point he was going quiet a bit. we had to stop after a while because he would just go in, and then want his candy for not doing anything. find something that they like (stickers, a fav toy, etc) and switch it around. i hope this helps you :)

M. in Ohio

Personally, I wouldn't sweat her potty training. She probably can feel your frustration over it all.
Give it a little time. Wait for summer when you can wear shorts and the whole potty thing is just easier and she will get it.

Have you talked to your pediatrician about the problem? We had the same problems and our original pediatrician wasn't much help. Then we moved and found a new pediatrician who was very helpful. Our daughter had problems with constipation and for whatever reason it either hurt her or bothered her to go on the potty but she would hide and go in her pants. Our pediatrician was able to give her a prescription (powder that mixes in with her drinks twice a day) that within less a week completely solved the problem (and she obviously felt much better too)! Obviously I'm not a daughter so can't even begin to say that your daughter has the same constipation problem, but it might be worth looking into! Good luck!

Some children don't understand why they poop. They think that they are losing a part of their body. Make sure you explain to her that it's ok the poopy goes down the potty. This is gross, but maybe let her watch you poop, so she understands that it's ok and she's not scared. Also, get a seat that fits into your big potty, that helped my son.

I have no advice you have not already recived, but my daughter was the same way with both the fear and the poop. She just got over it with a little time.

Do you hold her when she is on the big potty -- that is what helped both my kids, I would bind down in front of them and hold them with my hands, kind of tight around their ribs so they felt very safe -- I had to do this for about a month with my daughter before she would sit on the big potty by herself.

My daughter was always wet in the a.m. , too. So, I quit putting her in pull-ups and she quit wetting through her sleep. It took me forever to figure it out, but it may work for you too!

I don't know what to tell you about the poop, other than if you take away the diapers altogether, she may decide to do it. One word of caution though, it is VERY common for kids to have issues with putting poo in the pot, but sometimes they just won't. My little cousin refused and got so impacted, she had to go the the hospital for an enema. After that, she went in the pot : ) They just have their own way about things, I guess. Good luck.

We had a similar problem with my son. A few things I learned, I think that most kids, with the exception of the few who really love going potty, will go in a diaper/pull-up if they have one. We wondered about when to take away the nighttime diaper, until one night we forgot to put it on him and he woke up dry and went potty. He's only had a handful of accidents at nightime. Same thing with nap, I just stopped using it one day and he realized he had to get up and go. The poop thing was the same too. My son got a case of diarrhea and that finally got him to poop on the potty and after that he stopped being scared and refusing to do it. Obviously I'm not recommending that you induce a bout of diarrhea, but it worked for us. With a younger sibling in the picture that may make things more difficult. Good thinking on the big potty for #2, potty chairs definitely have their drawbacks!

Good luck!

Hi! I am also a SAHM and my daughter will be 3 the end of March. I am also having a problem w/ her pooping in the potty. The pee training is still in the works too. We've tried those thick cotton training pants, but she's peed right through them. So I don't know if I should try undies or not. I think my next step is those pull-ups that have a cool feeling when they go. Have you tried those? And I haven't even tried to set her on the big potty, I think she'd freak. Also when I put a clean dry diaper on her, that's when she poops! I just can't wait to have a diaper free home.
I know this isn't advice but I thought I'd tell you I'm kind of in the same boat. Good Luck!
J.
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