Potty Training Help. More Details Added

Potty training and vacations rarely mix. The more you are able to stay around the house in the beginning, the easier it is for kids to get used to the new routine.

I remember my son asking for a diaper when he needed to poop. I told him that we were done with diapers and he needed to poop in the potty. He did not like hearing that at all, and I really second guessed myself. But I stayed calm, and he tried the potty.

If you want to wait him out, you can. He really will decide on his own that he's ready to poop in the potty. It might take awhile, but it will happen.

If you'd like to speed things along a bit, it's time to take away the diapers. Let him know that you are going to do that. "Bobby, today is the last day for diapers. Tomorrow you will poop in the potty." Stay calm, and don't get emotional about it. Just be matter-of-fact. If you are concerned that he will hold it in and be constipated, you could try giving him lots and lots fluids and feed him foods that are high in fiber.

Honestly, I spent a few days saying, "Poop goes in the potty."

Is it using the toilet or does he have an actual potty he's using?

My kids all had a potty they would sit on - not the toilet to start. They found that fun. They had their feet on the floor, they could sit there as long as they liked, and honestly, we brought the potty to where they were sometimes (if the poop took a while to come, when they were first training). So sometimes, they would sit with a book. It just made it a 'pleasant' experience for them. This phase only lasted a short while.

So potty training was very brief, before it went to using the toilet with one of those little seats on it. But I think using the potty, and being able to see the poop in there, made them quite proud. Also, not hearing it go into the toilet (long way down) may have been something too. I think that's intimidating to some kids (to not know where their poop is going).

I had a friend, like you, whose son had to poop in a diaper, and (just so you don't feel stressed), had to have a pop up house put up for him to go in. It was quite the production. You know those little homes kids play in? He had to have that set up each time for privacy. He had to go in there, to use the washroom. He did get on the toilet before school, so don't worry.

My suggestion would be to ask him if he'd like to use a potty for a while at home till he gets used to the sensation of letting it go. Do you have one? He might quite like that. Mine did. I vividly remember one being so proud he waved it around and I had to stop him so that it didn't slide out :)

Good luck. If not though - think of my friend. Her son just outgrew the need for the diaper (and the playhouse). I don't think she did anything special - he just grew tired of the diaper routine (and house). Over time I think he just found it cumbersome (no doubt she did too).

My now 10 year old son did this too at that age. He would wait until he had a diaper to poop (he still used diapers at nap and bedtime). He never went in his pants, only in the diaper.

He had a true fear of going on the potty. It was not rational, I don’t know what caused it, but it was real. No amount of bribing or fighting him on it made a difference.

Do NOT try to force him by telling him there are no diapers. As you said, they have to be ready on their own. If you force the issue he could start holding it in and cause a much worse problem.

Here’s what finally worked for my son (he was just turning 4 when we did this and had been otherwise trained for a year):

Step 1: he could go in a diaper but had to stand in the bathroom.

Step 2: he could have a diaper in the bathroom but without his pants on

Step 3: diaper on but squatting over the potty (we had a step stool he could stand on). We then opened the diaper in the back and let it fall into the potty.

Step 4: squatting over potty, Diaper still on but not hooked on the sides so he still felt a bit of the security of the diaper but it was open in the back to let the poop fall in the potty. We made a big deal of it going in the potty, that he did it, etc.

Step 5: squatting over potty, no more diaper but we did have an old birth cloth to hold in front in case any pee came out at the same time since he wasn’t quite angled down in the squatting position. :)

Step 6: finally pooping on the potty (still had a step stool for his feet).

I don’t remember how long each step took, maybe a day or two. It was such a relief when he finally did it, for us and him. As I said above he was truly terrified and I’m glad we found a way to help him overcome the fear.

Good Luck!

My son was the exact same way. My son's birthday is at the end of April. When he was 3 on Halloween, after we went trick or treating I told him I would give him a piece of candy if he pooped on the toilet. He did it and used the toilet for a few weeks before stopping. It wasn't until around March before he started using the toilet without any issues.

He needs to be ready. Don't ask him if he wants to try and use the toilet. Tell him, we are going to the bathroom. I want you to sit on the toilet for a few minutes like a big boy. Sit on the floor in the bathroom with him. Eventually he will go.

I just went through this with my 4 year old ! He was able to wait to go to the bathroom until we were at home and he was comfortable, but still wanted a pull up on. He could go to preschool all day and not go to the bathroom, but wouldn't wear underpants. My pediatrician told me that avoiding constipation is more important, and to not make it a power struggle. Kids can hold their poop in, even if you try to force them on the potty, and that just creates a worse problem.
We had one incident where we were out of town and my son held it in for days, trying to wait until we got home (even with a pull up on, he wanted to be at home to go poop). He eventually had to force out a very painful bowel movement. He managed to do it, but it wasn't fun. After that, I could remind him to always go if he has to, so it won't be so painful again.
Anyways, he potty trained, and eventually would wear underpants. However, he would want a pull up on for poop. This lasted about a month. Then he started pooping on the potty on his own. I praise him and point out how good it feels to get the poop out, and not have pain like when we were out of town.
So, I wouldn't push your son. He will do it when he is comfortable. Battling constipation, as friends of mine have had to do, can last years with kids ! It is frustrating and expensive to keep buying pull ups, but doctor visits and medicine to deal with constipation are that much more annoying, in my opinion.

Just start going to the bathroom on a regular basis.
Before meals - try using potty - and then always wash hands.
Before nap time / bedtime - same thing.
Before going anywhere - same thing.
After getting home - same thing.

Our son hated having me out of his sight so for awhile when I had to use the bathroom he went with me.
He saw me using it all the time - and it was a treat if I let him flush for me - then we'd all wash our hands together.
Really potty time was almost more about washing hands - potty was just part of the routine.

He was in daycare and I let them take the lead on potty training.
They had these tiny toilets and the whole class went at the same time - so it was something everyone did (yay peer pressure).
One day he came home and showed me what he could do.

It's hard to have patience but he won't be going off to college and still be in diapers.

I know it's frustrating, but this is so incredibly normal, I can't begin to tell you. It may have something to do with the stomach ache he had at his grandparents, but it's far more likely this it's just a completely normal developmental stage. Either way, you aren't going to be able to talk him out of it. Pooping is a very different physical experience than peeing, and zillions of kids have an issue with it. You cannot win this battle, so don't battle. Just wait it out, do what you've been doing, and give him a diaper. Potty training really isn't so much "training" as "waiting until they are really ready."

WHY does he refuse to go on the potty? Have him in the bathroom with his dad so he can show him it's okay. He needs to tell you WHY he can't or won't poop on the toilet. If he can pee into it? He can poop into it.

My opinion? As long as you allow him to poop in a diaper, he will.

Tell him he's a big boy and needs to act like a big boy and go to the bathroom on the toilet.
He's got you doing his bidding. You are still treating him like a baby and he's getting special attention for pooping in a diaper.

By continuing to allow this behavior? He is going to get sick. Especially holding his poop for too long. At some point, his colon will say "enough" and start leaking poop out. STOP giving him a diaper. STOP allowing him to monopolize your time and energy and MONEY by using a diaper. NO MORE.

I didn’t give my kids a choice. When they asked for a diaper to poop in, I said no.

I chose a week when we didn’t have anything going on and just let learning to use the potty be the most important thing that week (really just a few days). There we no diapers and lots of messes, but they figured it out.

I think by giving him a diaper to poop he you are sending the message that using the toilet is optional. He’ll learn to poop in the toilet about 5 minutes after you tell him there are no diapers in the house.

Next time an outing is planned tell him the day before.. Tell him he's not getting a diaper out in public so he has to go in the potty or else it will be in his pants all messy, and he will have to walk around like that.. Don't play his game. Tell him there are no more diapers at the store so it needs to start now, or he will have to walk around with dirty pants. He is old enough to know. He just doesn't want to give it up and this is normal, however he is almost 4 years old. Tell him this is how we do it. We don't wear diapers anymore, only babies do because they cant walk to the potty. Parents: Do not feed into their game!

Have you actually tried bribing him to poop? I did that with my kids when we were starting potty training. I didn't bribe my kids for anything other than pottying. I offered M&M's and they really liked that. After they were habitually going, I didn't give them anymore, but offered some after supper instead ONCE, and then they forgot about it.

If I were you, I'd do that. Stickers for token economy won't work. It's too ingrained in him right now, pooping in a diaper. He needs instant gratification.

If you are right that he associates sitting with hurting, maybe the bribing you might have done didn't work back then. Perhaps it would work now. Make sure he's not constipated when you start trying.