My Child Refuses to Go Poo in the Toilet. Any Ideas?

You can say no more diapers. At night put a lap pad.....rubber pad or two on the bed. Just don't use anymore diapers.........
At the daycare I work at the kids change themselves when they have an accident. They get their own clothes out and then put the dirty ones away. There is a little stepping stool that they sit on when they change. We clean it off when they are done. Let her poo in her pants. She will get tired of it.
Things will change soon.......

I wonder if it could possibly be that she's afraid to go using the big toilet. Did you try asking her to use a small potty chair? You could so back to taking the diaper away and when she get constipated from holding it, give her some mineral oil so she will have no choice but to go (the poop will be slippery and it will come out whether she wants it to or not). I would try to potty chair - I think she's just a bit scared sitting on the big toilet.

My niece was afraid that she would fall in when she would poop, find out why she doesn't want to. Maybe try a reward for each time she does. For my niece they borrowed our camper toilet(port-a-potty) and brought it in the house and that is what worked for her. Good Luck!

i've heard of people having success doing this in small steps. See if she'd be willing to sit on the toilet IN HER DIAPER when she needs to go poopoo. From there you could move to a diaper only loosly fastened, then an unfastenned diaper held at her waist then hanging through her legs, but not under her bottom. Once she has success releasing into the toilet she'll probably be fine, but it can be scary for many kids to let their poop fall into the toilet at first.

With our daughter we planned a day when big 3 year old girls didn't use diapers anymore (except at night time). We also talked about when this day was coming and we watched Elmo potty time and read books about going in the potty. When the day came we had a special celebration of what a big girl she was and just told her there were no more diapers to go poop in. So you could try that... if she says she knows there are diapers because she uses the night time one you can say that those are not for daytime. It's interesting what kids will accept when it's said in a matter of fact way... If you choose this though, you have to be ready to follow through. If you go back on the diapers it will take longer.

We made the mistake of using pull-ups while our daughter was potty training. As soon as we figured out those didn't work and we put her in panties she was trained. There's something about not liking to be poopy in panties. If she's holding it and refusing to go I would make sure that you alter her diet to include more fiber and water so she doesn't get constipated.

As someone else mentioned I think, you may want to get a potty chair if you don't have one. Talk to her about using it before she has to go and tell her that when she has to go poop she can use the little potty. When she asks to have a diaper, don't say anything about the potty, just say ok let's go poopie and take her to the little potty and see if she'll go there?

Good luck~ she'll get it. Just try to be positive with her.

This is very common. My, almost 3 year old, son does the same thing, except with pull ups. I talked to my pediatricican and she said don't force the issue, he will do it when he is ready. I agree, but disagree. Anyway we just keep putting him on the potty as much as we can and hope we catch it. It is a battle we won't win, forcing him to go poop in the potty, and may even make it harder. So we celebrate the successes and don't get mad if he messes up. We just say, you are suppose to tell us when you have to go poop, poop goes in the potty with the pee-pee. He'll get it eventually, again it is normal.

Yes, just keep putting the diaper on her. She WILL come around.

Unless, that is, you enjoy spending half your time battling over poop. However you like to spend your time is fine with me.

I have a 6 yr old and a 4 1/2 yr old, both were stubborn about it but eventually came around. My boy - the 6 yr old took longer than my daughter to potty train. Don't worry, they all come around. The harder you try to MAKE them, the longer it seems to take.
Try a "poopie" chart and stickers so she can see her progress. Maybe a book about the potty or having "potty time" where you could have her sit and set a timer just to get her used to spending time there. Your daughter just need s to feel relaxed while she's there =)
For both my children I had to break up potty training into stages ... First we learned to use the toilet during the day and eventually once the daytime accidents stopped we started experimenting with taking off the night time diaper. Make sure you have waterproof mattress cover. I also used a waterproof top cover, like a small blanket to lay on top of the sheet, so I wouldn't always have to wash everything if there were an accident. GOOD LUCK.

I so feel your frustrations. I ve been potty training my now 2.5yo since he was 19 months old. The last 4 months I have been very serious with him. What I do is, when he goes potty he gets ice cream. That means a little tiny amount on one of his little spoons. If he goes poop he gets ice cream in a cone. That means the same amount in a little tiny bite size cone. So now he is excited to get a cone and will go running to the bathroom when I ask, if he has to go potty? He will sit down and say,"cone mom". He doesn't always go poop like he hopes but he will get a spoon of ice cream for the effort. At times when he decides he will go in his pull ups instead he will think nothing of it till I say something. That usually goes like this. "Ryan oh my big boys go in the potty not in their pants, eww yucky". He then realizes what he did and will go running to the bathroom and try to go potty again to make up for the accident. I also have a 4 month old baby boy. When Ryan also goes in his pull ups I will also say, "your a big boy, big boys go in the potty. Your baby brother goes in his pants, not Ryan". "Do you want to be a big boy or a baby"? We use dialog that way and he gets it most of the time. Im so trying to get him potty trained so he can go to preschool. But its all on their watch so don't push it too much or they will fight back. I usually don't make a big deal to get him to go. I help him. I also got him underwear and will at times put that one but he usually doesn't care if he goes in them and it is a huge mess for me. I tell him his underwwear is like daddy's and daddy goes in the potty when he wears big boy underwear.

Good luck. I could do with out this stage. HA

SAHM, 39 with super active 2.5yo son and a 4 month old son who doens't like to slee[p through the night but is full of smiles. I love being a full time mommy and wouldn't change it for anything else. My husband works in LA every week so I feel like a single mom a lot but he works his butt off so I m very blessed I can stay home wiht my children. Its a trade off. As I always say, "this too shall pass".

Hi Chystal, I'm in the same boat with a 3 year old and 18 month old. I've switched to just underwear a few months ago and she is very nervous about going poop still.. so sometimes she'll run in the corner, poop her pants then come tell me she had an accident. I've told her that it doesn't make me happy and she's a big girl now and when she does poop in the potty.. we have a Poo Poo Party (I dance around to show her how happy I am) and she gets a special princess crown and Ice-cream. We invite her dolls etc that want to join us at the table. She looks forward to the Poo Poo Parties.. and now after a few months, she may have 3- 4 accidents a week and I've resorted to having her clean up her own mess (since she's now anticipating Mommy cleans her up).. this tactic (although messy) is working. It's also working having her in Pre-School so she sees others role model. A benefit to all this, is her brother (18 months) now wants to try and sit and pee pee.. so the lessons my daughter is learning, my son is picking up on.
Keep trying different things and in time.. something will click for her!

My friend had this same problem with her little girl last year. Her daughter didn't want to poo in the toilet so she didn't pee either and ended up with a kidney infection. The doctor told her to go back to diapers and in a month or 2 her daughter finally started using the potty full time. Some kids just take a little longer to train than others.

Hope this helps.

I am a mom of two beautiful little girls, a 21 month old and a 4 month old. I am also a behavior consultant for children with autism. Some of the techniques I use with my clients work great with typically developing children as well, and I have an idea that you may want to try with your child. Let her request a diaper for poo, but try to have her sit on the closed toilet seat while she goes poo in it(reinforce her with something if she does it: like a chocolate chip, a sticker, playing chase, or some special little treat/activity reserved for going poo on the toilet). Once she has done this a few times then up the ante, try getting her to sit on the toilet (with a diaper on) but have the lid up this time, and again reinforce her if she does it. Next, cut a tiny hole in the back of the diaper before you put it on her. The reason for this is so that she can feel some air through the diaper, more like how it is when she does not wear a diaper. Then keep making the hole bigger every few times, until the poo falls through the diaper and she is okay with it. The final step is without the diaper on. The important thing is that you don't push her too quickly, and that you give her a reward (reinforcer) for her good behavior.
I have read that some children feel like the poo is a part of them that they are losing, and also the toilet can be scary (with a loud plop, splash and so on). I don't know if I believe that, but it is an issue for a lot of kids- where pee might not be an issue. So good luck, and I hope you find something that works for your daughter!

My oldest (now six) had the same problem. Going pee was a piece of cake, but she never wanted to go poo in the potty. She would ask for a diaper, go stand in a corner and do her business and be done. I didn't really fight it - she wasn't in preschool or anything, so I didn't think it was too big of a deal. I think what worked for her eventually was peer pressure. She has a cousin just a few months younger that started going poo poo in the potty before she did. Once the cousin started doing that, so did my daughter. I don't usually like to encourage doing what everyone else does, but in this case, it seemed to work. Good luck and I wouldn't stress about it!

-K. (mother of three kids, ages 6, 4 and 2)

Hi C.!

Many young children are scared of going poop in the toilet. Have you tried using a little potty? The kind with the little cup underneath that you dump in to the toilet? It might help her transition better!

Good luck!

Throw the diapers out and let her see you do this. You are allowing her to poop in the diaper. Your the parents and eventually if she wants to go she will have no choice, but to go where poop at that age is supposed to go. I did the same thing with my daughter and wearing diapers to bed. I thought is was because she couldn't wake up. But later discovered she was lazy and I let her watch me throw out the diapers and she never wet the bed again.
Good luck

Dear C.,
As someone who has potty trained at least a few children, just keep trying and telling your daughter that pooping in the diaper is not what we do.
She is potty training YOU. She knows when she has to go and control it to the point of waiting until she has a diaper and then she goes and it gets dealt with.
The diaper is a comfort thing, much like a bottle or pacifier. That's what she's used to and comfortable with. But, she'll be comfortable crapping in a diaper until she's 4 years old or more if you don't just keep trying. I had a little boy that I babysat that was still coming to me in diapers every morning past 4 years old. There was nothing at all mentally wrong with him, in fact he was very intelligent, but he cried if he didn't have a diaper so his parents just kept putting them on him. None of the other kids wore diapers or pottied in their pants. It got to where the first thing he would do when he got to my house was pull his pants down, take off his diaper and throw it in the garbage. He was so proud of himself using the toilet at my house like everyone else. His mom asked me one day what was going on because I always returned the unused diapers she sent for him. I told her not to bring them anymore because he didn't need them and that he went to the bathroom like everybody else. She didn't believe me. But she took him home that night and sat him on the toilet. He went, and wanted to wash his hands afterwards like at my house and no more diapers were ever sent for him. At home, he was used to being laid down and changed like a baby. At my house, he went just like everybody else. No tears. No fits. He stood in line to take his turn.
I think there are children who would stay in diapers perpetually. Because it's the routine or they are comfortable with it.
Don't give up.
Don't put a diaper on her.
Don't put pants on her at all.
Try letting her be naked below the waist and just holding her on the toilet. She will find out sooner or later that pooping on the potty will not bring the world to an end. No pun intended.
That way, you poop, you wipe, all gone!
YAY!

With my son I ended up by just putting regular underwear on him, and if he pooped in them I made him wear it for 15 minutes. Only took 2 weeks, he was pooping in the toilet!
Pull-ups didn't work for him because he treated them like regular diapers, and he liked tearing the sides open cause he thought it was cool that they did that.

Your three year old may using this for attention, since she has a younger sibling.
You probably should just not make it a big deal. No rewards. The reward is no poo all over her bottom, like a big girl.

Good luck!!

Hi C.,

I too had this problem with my son and what helped us is the book called Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi. We would read it while my son would sit on the potty, even if he was just going pee and it gave him time to relax because he liked the story. Good luck!

C., my 4 and a half year old boy is the same way- except he won't ask for a diaper. I say let her have the diaper. I posted a similar question about a month ago and have backed off my son completely. Only this week has he STARTED taking off his diaper to go in the toilet. Your description of your little one sounds so much like mine that I really can't help but tell you to back off or you're going to be in the same boat as me: with a 4.5 yr old not pooping in the toilet. You aren't alone! .... and good luck :)