How to Get 3 Year Old to Go "Poo Poo" on the Potty....

Updated on April 01, 2008
M.O. asks from Phoenix, AZ
15 answers

Hello all,

I've been on here for only a short while and have responded to a few other's questions. My question is of course potty training, or in my case "poo Poo" training. My son is three years old (and four months) and is going pee pee on the potty very well. Sometimes, I still have to remind him, but otherwise, he is doing really good. He will even hold it for a few hours rather than having accidents. The only issue is getting him to go poo poo on the potty! There was O. time before easter where I had bribed him to go poo poo for his chocolate bunny that he saw above the counter. To my amazement, he actually went that day. So, of course, as promised, I had given him the chocolate bunny. He hadn't gone poo poo since. He would get so sneaky and grab a pull up (he's in underwear all day except nap time and night time) and go poo poo in the pull up while hiding around the corner. I've since put the pull ups away so he can't get them and have caught him in the act. He will fight and scream if I put him on the potty while he's just about to go poo poo. Once I set him on there, he'll just hold it and not go. He'll wait and hold it until I finally put him in a pull up. I've not put him in a pull up for his nap time, O. time, and stuck the potty in his room to see if he'd go. He just climbed into bed with only a t-shirt on and went to sleep, holding it (even though I had caught him just about to do it in his pull up). He then had his poo poo that night, just as I lied him down for bed (in his pull up). See, he doesn't stay completely dry when he sleeps, yet, so that's why I still do the pull ups during those times. I'm actually getting really frustrated and he's about to start preschool here next month. He MUST be independentaly potty trained before starting school. HELP... any suggestions?!?!? He's too smart for his own good sometimes. (I sometimes have to laugh about the whole situation, though, as he really is smart and sneaky about it sometimes.) Thanks a bunch!!!

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T.V.

answers from Phoenix on

When my son was little he would do the samething, I talked with the doctor about it and he suggested we place a foot stool under his feet as he went poo because he said some little ones may feel like they are losing themselves when they are going poo...... I know I know it sounds weird, however I have to say it worked and now that my son is in his teen years we can laugh about it.

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

hi- I am sorry I don't have any advice- but I dealt with the same exact thing last year around this time & my son was almost 4- he would only go poopoo in a pull up. A friend of mine had a boy that was the same way. eventually when they get comfortable about it they went in the potty and continued-hang in there- we were also in preschool- but fountantely he could hold it until he came home- so no accidents.

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S.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello,

I too am a SAHM and have two children 10 and 6. I had no trouble with potty training my daughter, my son well he was a tufffffyy! Especially when it came to poo-poo. See I was told that boys have this strange attachment to their poo. It is a solid object that comes out of them, and if you stop and think about how that seems to a 3 year old BOY.... Well it's just like you are flushing a part of them down the toilet.!!
You stated that you got him to go one time for you with a bribe, if it works keep it up. I suggest picking up a few books at Barnes and Noble in the kid section about going potty. They are pretty good at explaining it through a kids perspective. Also show him that mommy does it in the toilet and if dad is comfortable with it have him go potty with dad and see that he does it too. I hope this helps you out, GOOD LUCK!!

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D.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

You have to lose the Pull-Ups COMPLETELY! As long as he knows the Pullups are there, he will wait for them. It sucks to have to clean it up a few times, but let me tell you, all he has to do is poop or pee in his pants once and he'll never do it again! I suggest buying a mattress liner to protect the mattress if he pees in bed. If he starts holding his poop (which can be bad), give him 1/2 prune juice, 1/2 apple juice so he can't hold it. My son did the same thing in regard to waiting for pullups because I was afraid to have him hold it. Once I gave him the "poop juice", he had to go and he finally did in the potty and realized it was no big deal. He did poop in his pants ONCE and he was so humiliated that he was 100% trained after that. Don't let your son pull your strings. Throw the pullups away and sacrifice a few clean ups to let him know that he no longer has a choice.
Good luck.

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R.E.

answers from Phoenix on

My son turned 3 in December and we also wanted him to go to school...and didn't want to change anymore poopy diapers. We knew he was ready but he just didn't want to either. My husband came up with an idea to hang up matchbox cars in the bathroom. They have those hooks that won't ruin the wall when you take them off. Anyhow, we kept putting the cars up there...they are $1 each at wal-mart. Every morning, about 20 minutes after eating and drinking for breakfast, we made Jackson sit on the potty. We also did this in the afternoon after nap time. He yelled at me, screamed that he didn't have to. But, we just put him there with some books to read or coloring books to color and left the room. We just told him to yell for us when he pooped.Jackson would look at the cars while he sat there and it was motivation. Surprisingly, it worked. He got quite a few cars in the meantime...about 25-30 and then when they were all gone, we told him he had to poop like a big boy now. He still has the occassional accident, but it really works. Bribery did work for your son before so you may be surprised how these little minds work. Once he starts going on a regular basis, he won't be scared to do it. If he doesn't go after 10-15 minutes, he gets up from the potty. We would tell him, good try...I guess no car today! And then we would watch him like a hawk or signs he had to go. As soon as they get the first car...they want more!! Good luck! I hope this helps!!

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S.W.

answers from Flagstaff on

there is a wonderful little orange color book about potty training that is geared for a 3yr old. it is avalible for either boy or Girl and it shows a drawing of a little boy (or Girl) sitting on the potty. it talks about how when "Joshe" was a baby, he would go poo-poo or pee-pee in his diaper. but now that he is a big boy, He needs to go poo-poo or pee-pee in the potty and it shows drawings of poo-poo in the potty. so it is kind of a how to book for a 3yr old. also reward him with candy ( His favorite kind!! M&Ms for my kids)for going poo in the potty, the chocolate bunny worked! if he knows that there are treats, he will start doing it till it is natural for him and then you can slowly wean him off the candy. Also when he does go, get excited about it and talk about all the great things he and you can do now that he is a big boy!! a few High Fives!!It will also get to the point that he will just hate it when he does have a poo-poo in the pull ups. At this point, I would not use the pull ups any more. when they are gone, they are gone!! LOL He is using it for kind of a security blanket. He may be smart but using the potty something new to him, and it does scare them. they have been using diapers and pull ups for 3 yrs and now they can't understand why mommy is making them sit on something and do what they use to do in the diaper and pull up. Relax also. it will happen and he will do just fine!

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B.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Wow, this sounds exactly like our youngest when we were potty training. He was afraid to poop in the toilet and would scream if we put him on it. Something psychological about letting go in the toilet. I was afraid he would have bowl problems since he would hold it for days. So one day he had to go really bad and we held him down on the toilet until he pooped. He screamed until the first one came out and the look of shock on his face was priceless. Although I was exhausted from the fight, I was so excited and praised him so much that he sat down again to see if more would come out. It sounds harsh but he had to go so bad and I knew if he pooped once he would see that it was OK. So that was the end of our potty training battle. From that day on he had no problems. He is 5 now and a wonderful, bright, inquisitive, handsome little boy.

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K.F.

answers from Phoenix on

This is a really common issue - especially with boys. I have a 4 year old son. He was potty trained with pee-pee by his 3rd birthday. We are still struggling with poo-poo on the potty. He has gone the last month or so with it in the potty (no more accidents in underpants) but, it's still a big ordeal.

What we found that has worked for us is "Potty Cars". We had a set of cars (6 total) which we decided would be the "Potty Cars". We would put one at a time in the bathroom as his motivation. he would sit on the potty staring at that car - saying "I get that car when I go poo-poo?!" Each time he went poo-poo on the potty he received a potty car (and a lot of praise - called grandmas ect. we made it a big deal that everyone is SO HAPPY he went poo-poo on potty). On the flip-side if he had an accident in his pants we then took the potty cars away and placed them above the fridge. He could see it but wasn't able to get them back until he went poo-poo on the potty again. This approach seems to be working for us. He is very proud when he gets a new potty car (or ones back he lost due to an accident) and he is sad when he loses his potty cars. We are seeing progress with this approach. Good Luck!

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C.K.

answers from Tucson on

Those darn Pull-Ups are the worst scam out there, aren't they?! It's clear he knows what he wants to use them for, has the ability to listen to his body's cues, and can hold it if he wants to. So, I would have a Pull-Up Toss-Out party. If you have a friend with a baby, I would take your son along, and say, "these are for your baby...."Johnny" is a big boy now, and he's using the potty to go pee and poo poo!" Let him see you hand them off, and then NO MORE Pull-Ups (ever) allowed in the house :)

Another thing that helped us tremendously: Potty Power DVD at www.amazon.com - all of my kids LOVED it and were potty trained faster.

Best,
C.

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D.S.

answers from Yuma on

Some people laugh at this however you find that boys are mama's boys, they love the nurturing part of their lives as toddlers. They have the worse seperation anxiety phase (compared to girls) so in-turn letting something go is very hard for them. They know that pooping in the potty, a part of them is going to go away and it's a struggle to understand the concept of it. All they know is that a part of them is going down the toilet and that's devestating, so a boy just refuses to do it. It's not uncommon for a boy to have a hard time with it. One thing to remember is not to force him, he will evenually do it. Handle with care.

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N.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

My daughter also had a hard time going poo in the potty. She would ask me for a pull-up to poop, much like your son. Two things that helped her were, when she pooped in the pull-up I would take her into the bathroom with it and dump the poop into the toilet and let her see it in there and say "bye-bye Poop" then flush. Explaining to her that our poop goes in the toilet just like our pee. Second, my husband put her on the toilet when she asked to poop and explained to her how to push the poop out, it sounds kind of strange and gross, but up to that point she always pooped while standing or squating, so sitting on the potty to poop required some different mechanics for her. Hope this helps, good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Phoenix on

When my son had that problem the pharmacist told us to use suppositories. They can't hold it and they go right away. When he goes do some type of dance and celebrate it. It only took a couple days. good luck.
kat

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S.G.

answers from Phoenix on

My 6 year old had the same problem. He still won't go at school. Also he would not go when we traveled. We did it with a reward system. Little toys that did not cost alot and had them in a bag so that he could pick out something when he poop on the toliet. It worked like a charm.

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L.F.

answers from Phoenix on

My son did the same thing...he was pee pee trained back in August and he basically trained himself, he would run outside and go in the grass. But the poo poo thing was a different story, he just refused to do it on the potty. He would only go in a pull up or in his underwear. I called the doctor and she said that when I notice he needs to go ask him where he would like to do it, in the big potty, in the little potty or in a pull up? By giving them the choice they feel like they are in control and that's what they want...control! They feel like they are losing a part of themselves and want to be the ones that control it. She said it is ok to use pull ups until HE is ready. So we stopped pushing him and eventually (within a month)it happened. He started going poo poo on the potty in January and has not had one accident since. He turned 3 in February and we are so proud of him...what a big boy! So please don't stress about it too much they really feel the pressure and I think that's what makes it harder for them, as soon as we stopped pushing he started going! Good luck!

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D.L.

answers from Phoenix on

i know how you feel my 3 year old wont go #2 either in the potty just in his pull ups. some of the other moms told me to try putting him on the potty with a book and he can look at his book and relax. and some others told me to try putting him on his potty in the bathroom and for me to sit on the toliet too. thats what ive been trying hopefully those will help.

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