My 5 Year Old Won't Stop Stealing!

(Ducks head to avoid incoming criticism)
Forget privileges. What is HER favorite thing? Have you considered making it disappear...and then when she wonders where it went, ask her how it feels to have something SHE likes taken...I know, as parents, we're supposed to lead by example, and taking her things is not setting a good example, but while time out and losing TV time is good for some children, but it seems like she needs a more concrete loss, an actual object. I'm not saying you keep it forever (at this time!), but use it as a chance to talk about how SHE feels about being the victim.

I really think at this point you should get her to see a child psychologist, maybe you two together and then each separately. They can help get to the bottom of why she is doing this and offer suggestions for helping with it.

Do not think of going to the psychologist because you have "failed"--in fact it is a matter of you realizing that you don't have the "tools" you need to find out what "broken" and how to "fix," so you're going to the experts to get the help you need and this is what makes you a good parent.

If you're not sure where to start, try talking to the school counselor and/or your pediatrician for recs on child psychologists.

You might want to think about talking to her dr one on one about it. She might need some play therapy to figure out the problem, you know someone that is a neutral party. She might be scared to talk to you about it.

Have you tried to talk to her what she is doing wrong instead of the time outs & loss of TV for the day.Your on the right track having her admit what she did was wrong but does she know what she did was wrong apolgizing to others that is hard to do especially for her age it only gets harder as we get older admiting we are wrong.
My son was 2 -3 we had went into the gas station I had no idea he took a sucker from there till we well away from the gas station he had it in his mouth eating it I made him tell me where it came from so he did had him trash it explained to him what he did wrong he apologized.A year later he was with his grandpa he reached into the beef jerkey container at the store droped a few and ate a few his papa paid.Now that there are siblings in the house we try our best to explainwhat is yours & not yours some how they think that if it is called "sharing" they are allowed to have it when the other sibling isn't home or outside whateever the case maybe so i'm having a battle with hat one right now.
Good Luck I hope it doesn't become a daily issue with her maybe an attention getter.If all else fails at home call the Dr she may have some more advice for you & how to deal with his behavior

Sounds like she needs a good ole fashion butt spanking. I think if the first 2 time outs aren't working, then it's time for harsher punishment. I know there are a lot of parents that are against spanking, but you know what, sometimes thats all they need to get the point across. I don't consider it hitting, I consider it discipline. I grew up with spankings and my kids are to. First time I stole something, my dad beat my rear. I sure as heck never did it again.

When my daughter was 4 I caught her stealing a pack of life savers at the grocery store, turned her in and had them take her to the office with the security guard , the manager understood what I was doing, this scared her so much that I never had that issue again (at least not that I'm aware of) I think she thought the security guard was the police, anyway he talked to her and told her what happens to people who steal. I told the cashier that I changed my mind on every item that was for her (snacks )as she was getting ready to ring them up (scanning came yrs later -lol) while my daughter looked on at her favorite items were being put aside , she also got a spanking and a punishment when we got home. She is now an adult but I never got a call from anyone telling me I need to come pick her up because she was caught stealing

I would sit down and talk to her and ask her why she chooses to take things that don't belong to her. After each episode of stealing, did you sit and explain why stealing is wrong and how it affects others? Does she truly understand that stealing hurts other people? If you are a religious family, you could have her read what the Bible tells us about stealing. If it happens again, I would mention it to her pedi.

I'd go see a psychologist, they are best equipped to help give you (and her) the tools to solve this. Sometimes getting a third party involved will do the trick. personally I'd rather do this now than have it escalate... or you will be facing more problems, what i she takes something of "value" while you are at the mall, and they decide to prosecute. that would be devastating! and you are potentially headed in that direction. I'm not trying to scare you or be mean, but I can only imagine going to the mall for some christmas shopping and she steals a ($20-$40) necklace off a display and it is all on the security camera... you just don't know how understanding they will be.

the traditional discipline hasn't worked, get a psychologist to help intervene for your child's benefit, like someone else said it doesn't mean you are a bad parent, it means you are a smart parent to get help when your child needs it.

I agree with Sarah. Maybe a doll disappears after having company over?

Time outs and taking away priviledges won't work here because there is too much separation between the 'crime' and the punishment. By the time she gets busted she has already forgotten or gotten over the behavior. I mean, that's my insight anyway.

Actually I find this very interesting. But I don't have any real answers, just more questions.

For example, what is her demeanor once it's clear to her that you've found the evidence and now she's in trouble? Does she cry? Does she show regret? If so, can you tell whether she has regret for getting caught, or regret for stealing?

It occurs to me a three year old taking something off a shelf in a store she likes is certainly not that uncommon. But it's unusual for her to not have 'learn' that it is wrong after several tries.

So I'm thinking she KNOWS it's wrong, understands there will be trouble, but chooses to do it anyway. Do you think that's a good accessment?

Have you heard her discuss it with a friend or another family member I mean without prompting? And when she hears YOU talk about it, what is her reaction?

Have you tried to discuss it with her, in terms of you asking her why, how do you feel, what were you thinking, rather than just your correcting the behavior?

Sorry so many questions, there are so many fantastic moms here, I think some one will have a little more guidance for you once they know the answers (aside from suggesting therapy, and talking to your ped about it, which you should!)

whoop her butt 1 good time.... thats all I have to say

My sister solved this problem early on with my nephew. He stole something and she made him throw his favorite toy in the trash and take it to the curb and made him WAIT for the trash truck to take it. He is now 18 and in college doing well.
Gotta make it hurt...either physical pain(spanking) or heart hurt...losing the thing she loves most. The police idea is also a good one if the favorite toy going away doesn't work.

Take Care,
P.