UGH
My next door neighbor doesn't hold her son accountable at all. Its always everyone elses fault. Her son Morgan is bossy and mean. To all the kids. He starts out pleasant espesially if your agreeing with him. He is 9 1/2 yrs old he shares horrible! Even items that are not his.
Its kind of usual for an older kid to not to share. He is extremely bossy after awhile my son and one of the kids are sick of being pushed around by him so they go run off and hide. Then the moms calls me because she always has to get invovled and doesn't seem to want to let the kids work it out themselves. I think they should include him under normal conditions but he is so nasty sometimes. I am consistently the only parent outside most days for three families. We have three kids, one family has two kids one family has one child. I try to displine other people kids unless its a dangerous situation or its inside my house.There is another family with very nice kids and the mom is always outside with them. One of those kids and my neighbors son don't get along very well. Simply because he gets away with bad behavior. I had a bunch of kids at my house the other day having a water fight. Morgan was playing. The girl that he especiallly mean to came down to join in. His mom whispered "oh great now I have to take Morgan in"which to me on some level implies its the girl fault her son is mean to her. The other day another child accidenatally hit Morgan in the face with a plastic bat. I know it was an accident I did not see it happen. NONE of the kids EVER hit. Normally I am the only parent out there for the three famililes.His mom went completly nuts on the phone.
If the kids acts up, send him home.
Explain to him when he arrives that you expect him to behave. If he doesn't, home he goes.
It will only take a couple of times...
YMMV
LBC
It's way too much drama for me. Is there some law that neighborhood kids have to play together at all? Why not just take your kids to a park or to play in the tunnels at McDonald's and not spend a lot of time outside. As for her calls... do you have caller ID? Don't answer her. Distance yourself from her and your kids from him.
I don't have any great advice because I can't STAND this sort of drama and have ZERO desire to know my neighbors that well. You can't change him or her. But you don't have to spend time with them. You can keep your child on your property and tell the other children to stay to their own home. One of my biggest pet peeves is children that are allowed to run up and down the street. We have neighborhood kids picking our flowers right now. UGH... I don't look forward to having to tell the mom to keep the little buggers at home or....here's a novel thought....walk them to the bus stop and wait with them!
How sad! I try to make it all into a teaching moment. My kids are going to run into kids with poor behavior and they need to know how best to handle them. I give my kids the words they need to deal with the situation. We may even act out the situation so that they are rehearsed. For example, when we have a child that doesn't share we ask them, "What is more important, people or things." If the correction comes from the kids instead of other parents sometimes it goes over better.
I know parents are hard to talk to because their always defensive about their own children. So my suggestion is since you do not want to have to pack your kids up and leave all the time, is to actually talk to little Morgan yourself and lay out some ground rules. It is quite possibly that he is the victim of bullying. So he will be able to smoothly play outside no matter whose fault it is,he needs to feel like he is part of the group and not shuffled inside. We do not always know the dynamics. While he may appear to be reacting with bad behavior we do not know what the little girl says or does to hurt Morgan. Oftentimes we see children lash out, only that and not what someone else does verbally or behind the scenes. There are jails filled with people who displayed bad behavior and who finally had it.Not saying that is right- I am saying that while the little boy might misbehave and be obnoxious, there might be another story. I know this might be alternate thought to what you are going through but -Keep watching. We adults are there to protect the children.
I have a little girl in my neighboorhood who acts up. She is mean and sneeky. I never let my children outside alone with her. If she acts up I tell her and if she continues to do it (which she does) she is sent home. She gets mad and may not come around for a couple of days, but then before you know it she is knocking on the door again.
I think everyone has a neighborhood kid like that. My rule is just don't play with them. If they ask why then I would have my child say why and leave it at that. If the mom gets upset that no one will play with her child then maybe the kid will be nicer.
Stay out of this drama. I know it is hard, but don't enter in at all. If the kid is mean, your kids leave. If the kid is in your yard, kindly ask him to leave. If the mom approaches you, just say your kids are having trouble getting along and you think it is best for them to work it out on their own. This will work itself out. I also like the idea of taking your kids out. Get out of the neighborhood a little more and you will have a little less of this drama for a while. It is too bad you have to do this, but it will pay off.
I guess there's always got to be one that ruins it for the rest of us. We have the same scenario with a boy in our neighborhood...except this kid is 3. I feel badly that the kids don't want to play with him----but it's behavior dictating that...not the other children trying to be mean.
It is too much drama and it's a mother who is in denial about her sons behavior. This boy is way too old to be not sharing. It sounds like his mom is dumping him on you to watch as well...not cool. Unfortunately I don't have much of a solution. I don't like this one little kid in my neighborhood either but once he gets home he comes running out to "play" with all the other kids. There certainly is no rule that neighborhood kids have to play together but it's darn near impossible to prevent that from happening. The only time I can get my daughter to not be playing with all the kids outside is either to take her somewhere else or not let her outside----not really feasible in a lot of situations or convenient.
So, anyhow I understand your predicament. Wish I had a solution. The only thing I can say is that you need to talk to the other parents about their kids being outside unattended. Let them know there has been behavior issues and that maybe they should sit outside a little more often to get a handle on it. Good luck. :)
