Married just over a year. He has been speaking online to an old lover. Hardly mentioning us. Mostly trying to talk about his life, his job, his likes and dislikes. Long emails. Much longer than his and mine.
The fact he hasn't shared this with me-I saw it in his open email; is worry-some.
He has left once. I had a breast lump scare and it was nuts around here. He stayed at his ex's where his 2 girls are. They had long talks about me/us. He did come back, but he lied about talking about me/us. Every now and then something slips out. I have not talked about this with him. Doesn't seem worth it as he did come back.
This is my second marriage. I have 3 girls living with us (mine)
Would you be worried? I am.
Thanks for your input,
P.
have you packed his bags yet? Your girls are seeing this, is this how you want a man treat them? I would hope not but if they see you going through this they may think that this is how a man is supposed to treat them. Think about them.
I'm sorry, I know you want this second marriage to work out, but he is not acting committed to you. He is still too attached to his exes. You can try counseling, but if he can't let go of his past, you should leave him. Good luck--
Of course any woman would be worried. You have to ask yourself the tough questions - do I want to divorce?
I highly advise counseling. I am not sure if you are actively involved in a church, but this is the time to. There is so much support for the both of you. Take a marriage class - I am not sure if you can get away for a weekend, but in September there is one in Dearborn that I hear is amazing (has saved marriages).
I have heard many success stories regarding marriages on the rocks that turned around thanks to being involved in church, counseling and of course having your marriage on the Rock (Christ).
God Bless and I will keep you in my prayers.
I'm sorry to hear it but, it sounds like his heart is not in it. I would definitely talk to him about what you know but be prepared for the worst. It may be worthwhile to think back through your relationship and see if the signs were there. One year in, it's not going to get better.
I don't want to sound harsh, but the reality is nothing good can come from talking to an ex. Think about what would you talk to an ex about. Not good. He sounds like a jerk and it is a matter of time and he will be gone.
You are a professional RN. Sounds to me like you don't need him.
I am sorry, but I would ask why he feels the need to talk to her. If he gets all made, he is guilty of something.
Since you have no children together and it's only been a year and he's already showing multiple signs of not being committed to you or the relationship, I would get out ASAP. You could definitely try counseling if he is willing but, if it were me, I'd cut my losses and get out now. Personally, I can't believe you took him back after he left you in a medical crisis and stayed at his ex's!!!
Sorry to be so blunt, but I fear more pain for you if things keep going down this path.
Sounds like you and he need to do some talking about a lot of things, and a counselor may help with that. Sometimes the employee assistance program from work can help get you started. You seem to have a lot of positives going on, but he's looking for support from other women way too much. The breast cancer scare may've spooked him, though I'm sure it was much harder on YOU! Men can be pretty squirmy when their sense of control is threatened. If he's leaving things in his open e-mail, hopefully that means nothing worse is going on. Your goal has to be to get him talking to you, but that may take awhile. A lot of guys are pretty immature when it comes to commitment and sustained intimacy with just one person. If you're a praying gal, this would be a great situation to invite God into!
