This is rather difficult to speak about, but I want to hear your opinions.
My husband asks for oral s- and it's asking it a LOT-like every other day. He sometimes refuses to make love bec he is tired, not in the mood, but he wants an oral. When 2 days pass and I tell him that I don't want an oral (for any reason) he is very upset. He picks up fightsn calls me names, treats me badly in a word. I am so dissappointed and really don't know how to manage this.we also have a little boy.thank u
No it isn't okay for someone to pick fights and call names because they don't get their own way. He isn't 3.
If you don't want to perform a sex act, don't. If he can't handle his disappointment in a reasonable manner then he needs counseling and/or you need to leave.
Where is Jim to tell us that this is a great first question?
Yes, I highly agree with Fuzzy... and there is that old saying ... "If you have to ask...."
Is there NO ONE left who knows how to properly construct a sentence?
I don't think this is a real post, but just in case it is, the answer is simple.
Bullying you into performing a sex act, regardless of whether it culminates in intercourse, is sexual assualt.
If you don't want sex, oral, vaginal, anal, or any other orifice, say "No." If he is abusive, take your kid and go.
S.,
Welcome to mamapedia!!
Right now? I'm calling troll. If by chance you are NOT a troll and this is a serious question???
Sorry - I don't understand how you can stay married to a man who treats you poorly, calls you names and picks fights.
Is this the example you want for your son for marriage? If the answer to that is NO? You need to find a solution - whether it be marriage counseling or divorce.
I can tell you that if you don't resolve the problems from this marriage? Lack of communication, lack of respect, etc.? It will carry over to the next relationship. Find a counselor who can help you become a stronger W. and stand up for yourself.
Good luck!
No its not okay. If he doesn't get his way he gets upset. Well if he were married to me, he would be upset all the time! Seems to me this is about his gratification only and has no interest in yours. That is NOT okay.
It is fine for him to ask, it is also fine for you to say no, it is not okay for him to get mad at you for saying no. Sex is a two way street, your pleasure is every ounce as important as his. If you want to give him the occasional "his pleasure only" oral session then that is great, but only if it is a two way street and he is also making sure that your needs are being met, whether that is a "her only" pleasure session occasionally, or full out "both of our delight". In the end you have to do what is right for you. Not every relationship includes oral sex, and that is okay too. See if you can find a compromise that will work for both of you.
This may sound a bit mean but - what's the point in being married to someone if they don't make you feel good about yourself? I have a ZERO tolerance attitude towards abusive / controlling behavior. I can't tell you to leave your husband but it seems like you need some counseling to help define roles and boundaries. If that fails - then it's time to plan how to move on. One thing I can say with confidence is that abusive behavior only escalates. It won't get better on its own and it isn't your responsibility to change so he behaves better.
You don't have to do anything in the bedroom you don't want to. I don't like oral and my husband gets it maybe on his birthday, if I'm in the mood. He'll occasionally joke about it but never meanly. If he did, he'd be cut off all together. Your husband needs to realize that you are not his personal sex toy, you are a human being.
Of course it isn't okay. Now it's okay to ask for a little sexual fun... communication in a marriage should be open. But clearly it isn't open for you guys. He shouldn't become verbally abusive because he doesn't like your answer.
I always get suspicious when someone has NEVER asked a question and then their first one is about sex. Also when their spelling is not so great and they use "text speak."
So, I am going to call troll and not answer. You could be some little pervert and I just can't play into that.
L.
Exactly Fuzzy!! I was just thinking the same thing! I have been reading some really weird posts on here lately..... hmmmmm.
This is not ok. The activity aside, he has asked for something that you do not want to do. Instead of respecting your wishes and understanding he is becoming aggressive. Not good.
I'm all for variety in the bedroom and for giving my husband a hand or mouth when he tells me he needs a little stress relief and not the full on. He in turn is more then willing to do the same for me.
Also even in a marriage, "No means, No!"
Your husband is abusing you. He wants you to service him, but he's not trying to please you sexually or any other way. He's too tired, he's not in the mood, but it's up to you to do something for him. That's what prostitutes do - they service the customer in exchange for money. In your case, your husband seems to feel that it's up to you to please him in exchange for a roof over your head.
A loving relationship involves some negotiation about doing things that please one without upsetting or grossing out the other. Some women don't like oral sex because they feel it's less intimate (no kissing, no face-to-face) and some don't like the ejaculation part. Other women do enjoy it but that's usually because their husbands are also doing things to give their wives pleasure. The problem in your marriage is that you are being forced to do what you don't like, and you're being abused mentally and emotionally if you don't comply. It would be no different if you were having vaginal sex when you didn't want to - do you see what I mean? It's not that it's oral sex per se - it's that you don't like it, and that you aren't getting anything in return. Your husband is not interest in your pleasure, your feelings, your satisfaction - THAT is your problem.
Get counseling. If he'll go, great. If not, go by yourself and try to figure out ways to get what you need or to figure out why you are with someone who treats you badly. Also address whether this is a new problem (and what triggered it) or if it's an indication of how he really is all the time.
He shouldnt want you to do something you arent comfortable with.
Yep, it's fine. You are two consenting adults, consenting to live in a mess. That is your right, and I don't get to judge if it's right or wrong. It's not necessarily good for the kid, but that's your right, too. When it's not okay for either of you, it will stop, some way or another.
No it is not okay, but have you express to him how you feel about it ?
weather that you like to do it or not ? it seems to me there are other problems
which you guys needs to work on , you have a son needs to work on solving
those issues and you going need outside help counseling if you love you son
you need to get help to keep the marriage
