Is This a Bad Idea? Toddler/Co-sleep

We have co slept with my son since birth, he is 4 now and he says he is almost ready to sleep on his own ... it works for us and we have no problem with it ... he will fall asleep somewhere else so mommy and daddy can have some alone time and join us in the middle of the night just as easily as fall asleep with us ... we know that when he is ready to sleep in his room by himself he will. I do not think it is terribly fair to tell him to sleep alone when mommy and daddy do not sleep alone ... odd to me.

If none of you mind it, and it makes him happy, I call that a good thing.
When my daughter was little, she liked me to read to her in her bed, then snuggle with her until she fell asleep. If she woke up in the night, seh would come get in bed with me and go back to sleep, and that was fine too.

I'm a big time co-sleeper, since birth.

I did the same thing with my son. Up until he was 5 I slept with him in his bed for half the night, like you. When he turned 4 1/2 I started to shorten the time I stayed in his bed.

He is now 5 1/2, sleeps by himself all night long. He's a great sleeper, very confident and always wakes in a great mood.

I miss the days I slept with him and cuddled with him. Those days are now gone! :-(

So no I personally do not think it's a bad idea!

You are such a great Mommy! Enjoy this time while you can!

New house, new room, new bed... lots of "new stuff" for a little guy! He may just need time to adjust to his new environment. If he's still relying on you to get to sleep in a month or so then you may need to "fight the good fight", but for now, he needs reassurance that this is "home".

If it works for your family, DO IT!

I don't know any teenager that still sleeps with their mother....... He'll outgrow the need when he's ready! We co-sleep as well. We were able to move #1 and #2 at the same time so they still had a bed-mate. And now we are co-sleeping with #3.

It must be a big change for him, the moving and the new bed. So he may need you for comfort while he is adjusting to his new sleeping environment.

Do what works for you and your family.

If you decide this no longer works for you, you can try slowly transitioning out by encouraging him to fall back asleep on his own (when he cries, just comfort him, then leave, for example) and you can also try getting him an nice night light or a new stuffed animal he can sleep with. Those may comfort him when he is partially awake in the middle of the night and help him fall back asleep.

Personally, I think you need to do what works for you. Eventually he will grow out of this phase and into another.

If it works for you, it works for you.

My family has a very unorthodox sleeping arrangement due to the needs of our two youngest (ages 1 and 2). It's temporary...and we are giving them what they need. Our 6 year old sometimes wishes a grown-up would sleep with him (we co-slept until he was FIVE) and I have told him that in about a year, we have have some family "sleep overs" and some Mommy/Daddy sleep-overs (with just him:). We have all ready had one brother "sleep over" (the 6 yo and the 2 yo shared a bed and slept WELL).

Kids like having their parents close. It's not ALL that long ago that sleeping alone for a child may have meant being eaten by a tiger....and I DO think that desire to have us close is HARDWIRED in. It takes a rational mind to get past that...and we're talking about little kids.

SOOOO - with all of the changes, it make sense that he'd NEED that sense of comfort and safety right now!

I know PLENTY of Moms who "never" co-slept, but who spent many nights on the floor of their child's room. Honestly, for sleeping....whatever works!

If that is what your son needs and you are willing to give it - why would it be a bad idea?

I bed shared with my daughter since birth and she's 5 now... #2 is on the way and before we knew that, she had voiced wanting to try sleeping in her own bed. It's not happened yet, but she knows she has our support and love and she has to make the choice for herself.

nope, not a bad idea at all, none of you mind he seems to need comfort sounds like a healthy happy family to me.

we co sleep, our big king size bed fill fit my husband and me and our youngest baby most nights, when my husband is gone for work (most of the time) then it fits me and both my kiddos. I like it this way. I will be sad when either daughter decides they dont want to anymore.

It's only bad when it's not working for your family :)

My husband has been deployed, and any time he is gone, no matter how long it is, our daughter ends up in the bed with me. We moved to a new apartment a month after he deployed. Instead of having her in my bed every night, I put her bed right next to mine in my bedroom. It's worked out great for us! She can still cuddle with me if she needs to, and I can always move her over to her own bed after she's asleep. She moves around a lot in her sleep, which wakes me up!

We may have trouble transitioning her back to sleeping in her own room when he comes home for good, but that's ok. We'll tackle that when it comes!

If it doesnt bother you, do it. They dont stay cuddly forever, but you dont want to start a habit you're going to hate in a few years.

My son has always slept with me since birth. I use to regret it soo much because now he takes up most of my bed, and i recently started to get him to sleep in his own bed and now he wants me to hug him till he falls asleep. He has slept through the night by himself twice. All the other times I either wake up in his bed or he wakes up in mine. I don't mind him sleeping with me anymore because I know he'll grow out of this stage and will no longer want mommy to cuddle with anymore. :( enjoy. he just wants his mama! :)

Yes, this is bad. You say it doesn't bother you or your husband now but give it time, it will bother you. I know because with my third child, he would wake up during the night and only wanted to be held. I guess he was somewhere around 2- 2 1/2 years old. My husband and I got up every night (we alternated nights) to "hold" our son on the couch where we would eventually fall asleep with him in our arms. It was "cute" for a period of time but after more than 6 months, it grew old and I got tired of getting up to fall asleep on the couch with my son. I finally had had enough, put him in his own bed and left him there. Yes, he cried. Oh, how he cried and it broke my heart to hear him cry but he needed to be in his own bed and me and my husband needed to be in ours...together. It sounds like your son has grown accustomed to this ritual and the longer you allow it to continue, the harder it will be to break the cycle. Use a night light in his room, keep his bedroom door open, give him a stuffed animal to cuddle with...but stop sleeping in his bed. Good luck.

I see you already got a lot of answers, but I'll add my experience. My son is 3 1/4 and when we transitioned him to big boy bed we went through the same process you're going through. Instead of moving, my son was about to get a baby brother and I loved the alone time with him. Now, 1 yr later, I am beginning to resent how much time I spend sleeping with him. His grandma just passed away unexpectedly while babysitting for him, clearly a huge trauma, and now I have to sleep with him all night long. I feel like the minute I get up and move to my bed, he wakes up and comes in crying. My husband and I have been stressing about how to handle this, but after reading all these responses, I think I'll just go with the flow a little while longer. Sounds like in the next year or so he'll want to sleep on his own, and I'll try to treasure this time instead of thinking of the mess in my house, how much i used to spending time with my husband, or watching movies or reading books.

It's only bad if you don't like it! If you think you may get tired of it, it will be a harder habit to break later for your son, but if you're fine with the arrangement, it's not up to anyone else. We liked making sure the kids felt secure on their own and didn't need us at night, so we set the pattern of not co sleeping form birth, but everyone is different. They do sleep with me for fun sometimes if their dad's out of town, but they have no problems on their own either. Just decide how often and for how long you want to do it, and stick to what you decide. There is no right or wrong way.

We did this with my daughter for most of her life. She coslept with us when I was breastfeeding, then when hubby had her during the day (to get her to sleep a little later since he worked 2nd shift) and then when I was pregnant with #2. We bought her a twin and moved her out of her toddler bed and she sleeps much better/longer now. But she'll still wake up and most nights, I lay with her and when she's asleep again, I'll go back to my bed. Some nights I just sleep with her if I'm really tired instead of going back to my bed. Other times she'll come into our room around 3am and we just let her sleep with us. As everyone said below, do what works for you to get sleep. I'm sure you could get him to sleep all night in his bed without anyone, but it would be alot of work and in my opinion, it's best to pick your battles!! Also, like others said, it's not like they'll want to sleep with you forever and some day they'll be teens who want nothing to do with us. For know I take advantage of it! My 2nd child (son) coslept for the first six months then has been a great sleeper ever since. He rarely (rarely) sleeps in our bed because he just goes back to sleep on his own. We did so last night around 1130 when he woke because we were at grandma/grandpas and I think he was disoriented so I just put him in bed with my daughter and I.

So no, it's not bad!!!

It isn't bad, but you are creating a habit.