Moms Who Co-slept with Their Child

My son didn't start really sleeping through the night until he was eating better before bed. Even then he would wake up at least once in the night until he was almost one.

My son slept with us til he was about 3, but when he was first born til about 3 months he would wake up at 4o'clock every morning! what i started doing was not allowing any naps and that worked for us.

It absolutely will happen naturally. :o)

You don't see many moms on here asking for advice on how to get their 6 year olds to sleep through the night! LOL!

It is just like anything else, they will grow and change and become big before you know it.

If you lived in almost any other culture on earth, this would not be an issue. It would be the norm. In this culture, we expect our children to be unnaturally independent way too soon. Our babies don't stop needing our comfort just because it is nighttime. You have begun to relax about it, and that is when it will happen, when you aren't paying attention.

Your baby is only 9 months old. Many children don't sleep a full 10-12 hours without waking until they are much older - 2 or even 3. BTW - The clinical definition of "sleeping through the night" is only 5 hours of continuous sleep.

Here is what we did, that worked really well for our family - We put our babies down for naps during the day in their cribs in their rooms. This way they woke up in their rooms and were comfortable there. Around the time that they could crawl (which made it unsafe for them to be waking in our bed and crawling around) we started putting them to bed in their cribs in the evening. Then, when they woke the first time, we brought them into bed with us for the remainder of the night. This usually kept them from crawling around the bed (I don't know why). So, as they slept longer stretches, they spent less time in our bed until we woke up in the morning without a little one in the bed. And of course there was an ebb and flow of them coming into our bed and not. Even once they were in their big kid beds, they often came in during the night and climbed in bed with us.

I will tell you that those days are over now in our house. Our kids are 7 and 9 and rarely crawl in bed with us. We miss them. :o( They grow up too fast. Cuddle with him while you can. It will be over before you know it!! I have to beg my son for a hug now! Enjoy your baby!!!

My husband and I co-slept with our first child until she was about 2 years old. I couldn't, also, figure out why she wasn't sleeping well until I decided it was time to put her in her own bed. I was expecting a baby and she moved around all night, sometimes kicking me in the stomach! It was a BATTLE, getting her to sleep in her crib, but it finally paid off. She has slept through the night since. It seemed she needed her own space. With my 2nd (a boy) I had him in the bassinet until 3 months old, then went right to the crib. I loved co-sleeping, don't get me wrong, but my daughter and myself both sleep better now. I wish I would have listened to all of the advice I got about co-sleeping. It's great waking up to them, but my sleep was horrible and so was hers. She still lays in bed with us at night and watches some shows but she knows she sleeps in her "big girl" bed, and now likes it and asks to go in. It's heart-wrenching (in the beginning), listening to them scream when you put them in, but stay with them for a bit then work your way out. It will only take about a week. Seems long, but you both will be happier in the end. Good luck to you!

i put my daughter, 2, to sleep in her own bed (in my room) and she usually crawls into my bed into the middle of the night but not always. we are moving soon and i plan to move her bad into her own bedroom but she will still be welcome to crawl into my bed. like some kids, she is hard to get to sleep. to get her into her own bed i used a gradual approach. the first night i stayed next to her until she fell asleep while touching her back. eventually i sat in the doorway and soon i could leave after a consistent routine before she fell asleep. i have never tried to make her stay in her own bed once i have gone to bed. she has had problems sleeping through the night. nightmares, teeth, illness and gas are usually the culprits for us. she would have the same problems in her own bed but i notice them more because she's in bed with me. i personally like that she feels welcome to be close to me when she's scared or feeling crummy even at night. whatever you decide, it's your choice, you and your child's, don't let anyone make you feel bad for your choice.

It is a hard ahbit to break the older they get. If your child is not sleeping well with you maybe you should try to him/her sleep alone and see how that pans out.

Some kids are not good sleepers just like adults. If it is problems falling asleep ask your doctor about Melatonin. If they wake up you do you know why? Are they thirsty> Hungry, Nightmares? Are they eating too late? If you can pinpoint the reason you may be able to resolve it.

N.

I co-slept with both my children until they were 18 months old. Myu daughter slept through the night by 2 months old. My son did not sleep through the night until 9 months old. I blame this on his acid reflux. I think what helped them the most was me only nursing before bedtime and in the morning. If they woke up in the middle in the night I would cuddle with them, I never nursed them or took them out of the bed. Then at 15 months I would tuck them into my bed without nursing them and they learned to fall asleep on their own. Then at 18 months they were in there own beds.

For me it just happened. Just being close to them made my kids feel like they were protected in a sense. The only bad thing is that I still co-sleep with my two year old son. But that is do to the fact his room is under construction. But I can see a fight on my hands. LOL

Your son is still young. Do not cut out naps! Next, make sure he gets plenty of nursing during the daytime. If he's getting up because he's hungry, obviously the solution is more food!

As co-sleepers, here's what worked for us. I left the bed for awhile b/c my presence was an invitation to nurse. So I slept elsewhere and my husband took night duty. I didn't feel too bad for him b/c, well, I've birthed and nursed 3 kids! When she would wake up, he would comfort her back to sleep. AT first, I came back frequently to nurse her back down (he would signal me with a knock on the wall). Gradually, over time, I came back less and less. Now I'm back in the bed and she sleeps through. A combination of growth and time (a few months) helped the process. I started this when she was around 9 months old.

With my others, we moved them to a mattress or futon on the floor. We put them to sleep there and were easily able to go to them and lay down with them for night wakings.

I call it the combination approach. Independent and co-sleeping! You should read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. Also, teething or any illness throws things off. And know this, too, shall pass. My co-sleepers are good sleepers now. Even my most troubled one has no problems now. Sometimes it seems endless, though! Good luck!

Hi K.,

I co-slept with all four of my children and the biggest challege was feeding them in the middle of the night. I don't know if that is happening but trying to cut that out a little at a time may help.

With my first son it was a gradual transition to our bed. We were really scared to let him sleep with us because of sids so he slept on top of us and we would just take turns not sleeping (that only lasted so long LOL) then he went to his swing and then eventually we took many precautions and he slept in our bed. By the end of the 3rd month he was sleeping through the night. Do not skip out on naps as suggested...that makes children overtired and in turn causes them to not sleep well. With my oldest he was kicked out of our bed at 18 months when I was pregnant and too big to handle a kicking toddler. It took a couple hard nights. I dont do the crying out but, I had to sit with him in his room for one good solid night of crying and not understanding but, each night it got much easier. With our newest son he immediatly slept with his. He sleeps much longer about 3-4 hours at time. He has done this from the beginning and I believe it is because of him sleeping with his. We also have a very strict bedtime routine. We do the same every night with each of them. I really think that helps more then anything. I just read the No Cry Sleep Solution (I checked it out at the libary) it was a great book. I would look into that. GOOD LUCK!

First of all, congrats on your choice to cosleep and being willing to work out the kinks! Our society is so against it, it seems everyone just tells you to stop and all problems will be fixed. I coslept with our first son, now 6 1/2 and a great sleeper. He was in our bed until he was about 3 1/2, he nursed until he was 27 months. I had twins when he was 2 1/2 so we continued cosleeping with him so one of us could sleep in his room and be "on duty" to hear the twins so one of us could get sleep, then we would switch mid way through the night. My twins never coslept with us but they did sleep together. I am now cosleeping with our baby who just turned one. She has never "slept through the night" and I am fine with that. She is in bed with me and just nurses when she needs to or wants to, which I think is about 2-4 times a night. My oldest son pretty much was able to go all night, even when in bed with us, when I weaned him due to the pregnancy. He was a big comfort nurser and would just need to know I was there, and nursed more at night too because I worked during the day when he was little, so he had to make up for lost time! If you are willing to ride the wave, then he will sleep when he is ready to sleep for longer lengths. If you are functioning well and it feels right for you and him, then go for it!

We co-slept with our now 12 year old until he was about 4-5 but we did so because he would stop breathing - he had very enlarged tonsils and adnoids and the doctors wouldn't remove them until we proved he wasn't breathing - kinda sick - but whatever - once he had them removed he could breathe so he could sleep through the night and we started putting him in his own bed in his own room and he is fine now.

with both of my daughters, they slept through the night the first night i didn't sleep with them...turned out I was the one keeping them from sleeping through the night! haha. With my first daughter i finally tried when she was 1 1/2 yrs old. With my second daughter I tried when she was about 6 months old and she also immediately slept through the night. Guess they like a little sip of milk if it's there for the taking! Best of luck to you!

Hi K.,
I first want to congratulate you for making what I believe to be an important, but sacrificial choice to co-sleep with your children. I have loads about it that I could say, but the main thing I want to say to you is: I highly encourage you to trust your own instincts about the situation, and realize that choosing co-sleeping is more of a sacrifice (I believe) than "sleep training" but I think it is well worth it (although there were many nights when my husband and I wondered whether we were nuts! (Usually we were just sleep deprived!)

We have 2 kids, a 7-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy. Both sleep in their own room in their own beds. Both started sleeping through the night (as in, 7-8 hours without waking) at their own individual timeclock. For my daughter, it happened to be when she was 2-1/2 years old. For my son it happened later, more like around 4 or 5 years old! Once they started doing it it wasn't like they slept like that from that point on. Rather, that was more of the norm than waking up nearly every night or other night. There were (and still are) nights when they woke up several times or once or twice. Sometimes they came/come into our bed, sometimes we would/will go to them. They started out as infants in our bed, then in a crib pulled up next to the bed (when each were around 2 or so?) then in their own small bed in our room, then in their own room. (I believe my daughter was 4 when we tried moving her into her own room but it didn't really work very well until our son moved in with her when he was about 3 or 3-1/2. Up until then usually my husband or I had to lay in the other bed in her room (we had 2 small children's beds in there) until she fell asleep but she often stayed asleep through the night.)

I know it sounds like a drawn-out process, but part of the reason for that was the design of our house--their bedroom was quite a ways away from our room because of it's quirky design...if their bedroom had been right next to ours or close by we probably would have tried them in their own room much sooner.

Hope this helps & good luck! Like the other women wrote -- I hope you enjoy co-sleeping with your baby! Before you know it, they'll be asking you to get out of their room, etc.!

Blessings,
Shirl H.

I would just like to thank you for putting this question out there. I wanted to let you know that we were wondering the same thing and are currently going through the same thing.

Even though I co sleep with my son, he still wakes up every now and then from disturbances from dreams, or nightmares, or just wakes up making sure that we're there. It's a security thing. Your child may just be waking up to make sure you're there. Does he/she go right back to sleep?
This summer we will be putting him in his big boy bed. I'm going to try the SuperNanny way of doing it. Plus I'm in the middle of potty training him. That is a chore in itself.
Best wishes to you. :-)

My son has slept in our bed since birth, he's now 27 months. A few months after he stopped nursing (13months), and was open to another life transition, I tried to put him to sleep in his own room... At first I stayed in his room with him, until he fell asleep. When he'd wimper in the night (heard thru the baby moniter) I'd listen, but not go in after him, and he'd normally settle back down to sleep.

At the time my son was old enough to get out of his bed, like clock-work around 4am, he'd walk down the hall to our room and climb in bed with us, he'd fall right to sleep the moment he layed between my husband and I. He still does this on more nights than not. I choose to believe, that eventually, he will stop wandering into our room at 4am, and will sleep in his bed til morning.

keep trying-good luck
T.