Ideas on How to Tell Parents of 3Rd Baby

We are in the same boat, well, mostly. We need to tell the in-laws and are nervous about their reaction to #3. What we decided to do was get shirt for the kids and let them "tell" them. So far all the responses have been positive, even my parents, who can be hit or miss. My husband and I are taking the stance that this third child is meant to be! Good Luck!

It sounds like you have already let negative thoughts brought in on thsi joyous time. Only it isn't actually from them, it is from you! Let go! If you and your husband know this is right for your family, that is all that matters. Go in with a joyful heart (not a scared heart expecting the worst) and you might be surprised at what you get. And if their reaction is less than stellar, then you can choose to address it or blow it off. But if you seem unsure, that opens the door for criticism. If you appear secure, most won't even offer their opinion. After all, it isn't like quitting a job (which you can "fix"). You are pregnant! Whether they like it or not, they are going to have another grandchild. And honestly, most grandparents would love that! They might be worried for you, but if you aren't worried at all, why should they be!?!

I have been in this situation more than once. My husband told everyone we were done after the second. Then we decided to have one more. He then told everyone, once again, that were done. Then after about three years we decided we would like to have another. This baby girl died at 31 weeks. We also conceived a baby boy that was also born dead at 16 weeks. I can't tell you all the inappropriate things people had to say. My husbands family meant well, but the things they had to say were very difficult to listen to. When we found out we were expecting our sixth baby, we decided just to not tell them until it was absolutely necessary.

when we did tell them we very carefully explained that all babies are blessings from God. There is nothing our other children would rather have than another brother or sister. My children know that people are more important than things. They realize what a gift life is. They have better learned to share and be kind. The best gift I have ever given my children is not money, or things. You will never know what will happen tomorrow. All your money and things may be gone, but the love my children share can never be taken from them.

Our sixth child was born Feb. 2nd of this year. My children were more thrilled that day than they were on all the Christmases put together. All six of our children have brought me joy and I would never trade or wish any of them weren't conceived. Your family will get over it and soon they will join you in loving this baby. Just let the comments roll off your back.

Parent's always seem to think of their children as young and inexperenced so we give advice hoping to help but more times then not put undo stress on them. Tell your parents and if they aren't happy it is because they worry about your situation, so keep that in mind. Chances are they will be thrilled with the idea of another little grandbaby because let's face it, being a grandparent is so much fun! If you are asking your parents for help a lot then they have reason not to be excited, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If she brings up finances just say you will be fine, not to worry, then change the subject.

Congrats to you and your hubby. I have three children and having the third doesn't change the cost by that much more until they are all older. Hand me downs and sewing your own clothes for them will help you stretch. Also planning menus where you can stretch them out over the week will help also. When my kids were small we were making less then $2,000 a month for a lot of the time and I stayed home until my youngest was in school. You can certainly stretch out your budget and cut out things you don't need and will be fine.

Hi Emma! CONGRATULATIONS! If your parents give you a hard time tell them that they had the chance to plan their family and now it is YOUR turn to make those decisions. They really have no say. In the end they will end up loving your new little one forever.
I think you should tell them honestly how their rude thinking is ruining this new blessing for you. Ask them to celebrate with you and if they choose not to, then they are the ones that lose out. Grandparents do not know everything and just because you are their child does not mean you have to just suffer through them hurting you. Tell them how you feel. It's not disrespectful to say "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
It's no one's place to judge if people should have more kids or not. That includes the finacial aspect. There are alot of selfless parents out there who will sacrifice their own needs and wants to lavish love on a child.
Blessings on your family! I hope your mom and dad shock you with their love and support!

Hi emma,
Let me start off by telling you I am the mother to five count them five beautiful kids and another on the way due june 9th. My brother also had seven children. My mom and mother in law were all so upset I didn't have my tubes tied after the fifth child but I didn't get the paperwork signed in time. We found out we were expecting number six in september and at that time we were living in my mother's house so I had the fear of god in me to tell my mom I was expecting another little blessing. The best thing for me to do at the time was sit down with her and my dad and tell them I know you think I am not ready for another child but god has blessed me with this gift and I will take my chances. They understood and only had wonderful things to say! My mom is so excited she tells everyone that grandbaby # 13 is on the way!!!! Just be honest and tell her she will take notice of how happy and sure you are on this new blessing and be happy!
God Bless You and your children all 3 of them!!!
If you ever need to talk just write me!
Sincerly,
K.

Our 3rd came along at a time when we both figured there was not way we could support another one. My husband was in school full time and my part time job paid the bills, and our apartment was at it's legal limit already- so we were looking at homeless issues, but it all worked out.

In fact, we ended up with a beautiful house and my husband was able to get a part time job while going to school. I believe the Lord truly provides for us and we shouldn't worry about those who refuse to believe in the miracles a new baby can bring.

I found out I was pregnant with #3 shortly after I had told my mom I was planning on waiting another year before trying. Due to a previous miscarriage, I waited until I had an ultrasound to make sure everything was OK before making any big announcements.
We told my parents by handing them a card with the ultrasound picture inside. They were a bit preoccupied at the moment, and when they got around to opening it, it took them a minute to figure out what they were looking at. When it finally dawned on them, their reaction was hilarious. They were confused because I had just told them we were planning on waiting, and then they were super excited because, well, who wouldn't be? =) My mom hopped on her cell phone and started telling as many people as she could.
If you must prove that you are mature and responsible grown-ups, start by telling your parents that after a lot of careful thought and planning, you have decided that you want to complete your wonderful little family with a new addition. You can also tell them that you are very happy with your decision and, while they may not understand, you would appreciate their support and positivity.
Really, it doesn't matter what they think. It's your husband's and your decision and, even if your parents are shocked by your decision and have doubts, they will come around after they get used to the idea. Enjoy your good news!!!

Hello, Emma!

I am also very close to my mom and, being the youngest (her "baby"), she has always been reluctant about me having children. She is quite vocal about her opinions, regularly giving me her ideal "time line" for my husband and I, which we have completely ignored. I am 9 weeks along with my second child and knew that she would not be happy about the news. I talked it over with my husband and close friends and here is what we decided:

It is better to tell her and then choose to avoid talking to her if she is being negative, rather than carrying around this guilt and indecision that was causing stress during the early weeks of my pregnancy.

I was happy and at peace with that decision and decided that I would not allow my mother to stress me out and carry around guilt for bringing a baby into a healthy, happy family! All babies should be so lucky as to have parents like you and your husband! You are in a stable marriage with parenting experience and more time than ever to devote to your children. If your mom can't see that, let her know that, close as you are, you will NOT tolerate her or anyone else putting you down for your decision.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope this helps!

I felt the same way as you. My mom has always been supportive but she made the comment about how she wasn't ready to be a grandma again. Four grandbabies (between my sister and I) was enough. Now I know that isn't her decision but I was still nervous on how she would react, considering my youngest wasn't even a year yet. We have our hands full with 2 young children, 2 new business, and a very small home. However, when I told her, so was so excited and called everyone to tell them she was going to be a grandma again! She was sooo excited and supportive:) We told some people by putting a "I'm going to be a Big Brother" shirt on our youngest and others we just told. I think I just said to my mom, "HI Grandma!" and she new cuz I usually call her mom unless the babies are around! Have fun telling everyone and don't stress, I am sure your mom will be very excited!

:( im so sorry that you are in a position that you cant share this happy news without fear of the negativity. :(

first of all, i would wait until you start to show and/or you are 12 weeks along (after the chance of miscarriage goes down.

then i guess pray. obviously, you cant not tell them, and i dont know if things would be any better if you didnt tell them until it was unavoidable, cuz then they might wonder why you didnt tell them, and i guess you know the answer to that, but do you have the strength to say that? i dont know.

i guess i would just keep it simple and to the point. and then move on i guess. do your best to have a "change the subject" topic in mind for times when she starts ragging on you for something that no one can change

and you know, it goes the same about the 3rd child as it does for the first: if you wait until you can afford it, you will never afford it. a friend of mine recently told me, if you want another baby, do it! then worry about the other things later. money comes and money goes, but the love as a family you will NEVER regret adding to!!!

I had the same issue with my parents when my youngest was conceived and I just came out and said. We are expecting another baby and we are very happy about it. I know that you may not approve because of our financial situtation but God has blessed us with another little miracle and I am not going to listen to any negativity about it. We know what our circumstances are and feel that this is the best thing that could have happened to us. Please overcome your disapproval and share in the joy of this new life.