Hello! I'd Love to Hear from Other Moms Who Had Babies When They Were 35+.

i had my first 2 babies at age 26 and 27, a boy and a girl. Then, it was 7 years later when I had another boy at age 34, almost 35. It was great for me. I older ones were in school, I was much more relaxed. He was a happy little boy. THe hard part was when the older two went to college and he was still in Junior high, but my daughter soon had babies of her own and he loves being an uncle at such a young age.

I will have to say this, my doctor talked about being "older" and pregnant. And people in public would make comments assuming I was the grandma not the mom. (And I looked good for 30-something)

I had my first child at 28 and thought I was done. Hah! My husband and I went on a vacation and lo and behold, we brought home a little souvenier! I had my second when I was 38. Since I was not expecting to be pregnant at 38, I was not a happy camper, but now that I have him, I wouldn't trade him for the world. While I don't think I have quite the energy that I had when I was 28, I defnitely have more experience and I like to think a little more wisdom about things. Not to mention, I love to see people's faces when they ask my children's ages and I tell them 8 and 18!

Hello, K., I will be 38 in 2 days. I had my 6th child half way through my 36th year. I was pretty good at it by then. I started when I was 26. We always gladly make room for a new one. This time I was sure SURE I didn't want anymore, so I had a tubal. My last pregnancy was a breeze. My blood pressure was good. Minimal swelling. I Have always been in the "high risk" category, because of being overweight, and I had a csection with my first. I went on to have 5 beautiful homebirths. My last little guy decided to fly out in about 2 hours from the onset of labor! I barely had time for my midwives to get here. I was in the shower during transition, and I just couldn't make it out of the bathroom. There I stood, with my foot on the tub, holding the sink, while my husband caught him. Beautiful. I think I could have had more, easily. Its raising them that makes me feel old sometimes or young, depends on which day it is. Ask me how sane I am when I have 4 teenagers in the house!!!!

Hi K.,

I had my first son when I was 34.5, second son when I was a week or so before my 38th birthday. I would have another in a heartbeat, I'm 51 now. Granted, we had to try pretty hard for our first one--he's be in college now instead of a senior if we'd had him when we first tried; but still I wouldn't worry too much if you are in good health and everyone is on the same page. As a La Leche League leader once told me "You only bring home a baby to an only child once" in your child-bearing years (she had 4 kids; I considered it small comfort to those of us planning on only 2, but what the heck!)

It's kind of a trade-off. When you are younger you have more energy, when you're older, more maturity. Couples who have their kids earlier will have a longer time as empty-nesters; those who start later have the "free time" on the front end.

I'd say go for it!

Good luck with your decision!

K. Z.

K.,
I am a first time "older Mommy" to a 5 month old little guy and my husband will be 49 this month!We LOVE IT!! Even though our little guy DOESN'T sleep for very long at night!! It is the toughest and BEST thing we have ever done! I was very Lucky in that I had a very easy pregnancy. We are currently trying for a sibling for our little guy! (maybe two, twins run in my family)If you Both are up for it, I'd say Go for it!Good Luck!!

K.,

I had my first child at 34. She is incredible. My husband and I want to have another because she has been such a blessing and so much fun. Right now I am 36 and we feel like we should be in a hurry because of my age. I know the risks of having a baby at this time in my life; however our hearts have completely over-rided each concern. We are even going to try to use clomid to speed along the process. Please let me know your experience.

A little about me: Working mother of one. Wonderful husband and a LOUD minpin.

Hi there,

Looks like you got quite a bit of positive feedback.
I have 3 sisters and they've all had children in their 30's, including myself.

In my particular case, we suffered from infertility - PCO - so we didn't think we'd have biological chilcren. At age 34 I had an ectopic pregnancy, lost my left tube and ovary.

A year later we were naturally pregnant with our daughter. We were so excited, we decided not to take contraceptives to see if we'd be so fortunate again and were pregnant when my daughter was barely 3 months!!
So, we decided we were double blessed with a girl and a boy who were 11 months appart (same age for 2 weeks in July!) and we used an IUD "in case" we decided for a third in the near future.
Six months after my son's birth and an IUD later, we were pregnant again!
They removed they IUD, pregnancy was fine and this little boy will be born in November.

So, my 1st at 35, 2nd at 36 and 3rd a month after my 38th birthday ;)
I don't know how it will be with the 3rd, he's not here yet, but I am excited to meet him in 2 months!
My pregnancy has been great, no complications, no problems with high blood pressure, no diabetes, no spotting, nothing!

:)

After many years of wanting, waiting, hoping and trying, I got pregnant with my first when I was 39. I had a rough third trimester and was ordered off work at 31 weeks, put on complete bedrest at 33 weeks, and then delivered a healthy baby girl via semi-emergency c-section at just under 37 weeks. All this because of super high blood pressure. Fast forward 18 months until I got pregnant with my second. The pregnancies were total opposites and I had no complications at all with the second, including a routinely smooth planned c-section. I am now a 44-year-old mom with two healthy and beautiful daughters aged 4 and 2 and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Good luck with your decision.... :)

`hi 39 when i found out i was pregnant turned 40 pregnant and had baby when 40. so experienced it was a breeze. The down size , diabetes. and the testing. I didnt have the testing wanted the baby no matter what, another friend who did the same thing at the same age had the testing, because she wanted to be prepared. Motherhood at 40...my son is great and my other two love him as well, even though my oldest daughter had her first two years after he was born now they are playmates as well. So if its what you really want do it . Good luck!

I was 41 when I had my 4th child (8,6,4, ~1), and all I can say is we allow prayer to guide our decisions. All of us need to remember that God does not make mistakes, and HE created our bodies to go through menopause ~late 40's - 50's..so we should not be afraid, simply based on our age. Our Jacie is such a wonderful addition to our family, and I'm still surviving quite nicely. I admit it's harder as you get older, but why should we want or expect EASY????

God Bless,
M.

Hi K.! I'm 39 (about to be 40 in January), and I have three wonderful kids. Michael is 11-1/2 years old, Eric is 10 years old, and Kaelyn is 11 months. I wouldn't change it for anything! I got pregnant and had her at 38, and everything was perfectly fine! The entire pregnancy and delivery was uneventful. I gained 15-1/2 pounds, she weighed 6 lbs. 1 oz. and was 18-1/2 inches long. The perfect little bundle! She was 14 days early, but there was no reason, she was just ready. As for the change in our family... the boys love her to death, and she gets so excited when she sees them come home from school! She squeals and jumps with delight when she sees them! The only thing that is a bummer once in a while is when the boys have (football or baseball) games scheduled during her nap and I can't go! Isn't that selfish of me?! It's been a great thing for our family! Even through 9-1/2 weeks of colic and getting up every single night for 10-1/2 months, we wouldn't change a thing! She's been a true blessing to our family! I say go for it! A child is always a gift, and if you and your hubby are considering it, just go ahead and do it! You would rather do it and be happy, then not do it and be sad that you didn't give it a shot while you had the chance! God Bless!!

Hi K.,
i am a SAHM who will 42 next month. My little man is 8 months and one of the greatest joys ever! Yes i am exhausted because i also have 2 daughters that are 15 and 12. The problem being the hubby travels extensively and my duaghters are involved with cheerleading, musicals and sports. There are so many days that i want to stay at home at play with him but have to be chauffering. I say absolutely go for it if your life style is different than mine!S o much more relaxing this time around and all the laughs and smiles that happen everyday.

h

Hi K.,

I was 38 when I got pregnant, and 39 when I had our beautiful girl who is 26 months now (making me 41). Today is my husband's 43rd birthday. We too suffered from infertility, and tried everything. After 4+ years I was done, but God decided not, and I got pregnant naturally. My pregnancy was fabulous, I LOVED being pregnant. The only draw back was that I retained tons of water, but they couldn't figure out why - all my tests came back normal. And my body bounced back so well I was surprised (I wasn't in the best of shape when I got pregnant). My husband and I worried about how old we will be when she's 16, 21, etc. but I wouldn't change it for the world. She is our little miracle, and I think she keeps both of us young! I say - Go for it! Good luck and hope to hear good news soon!

Hi Kathen,

I'm 45 and have a 12, 9, and 6 year old, so I know a thing or two about being an older mother. My first comment is that I am much more patient, capable, and ready at my age to deal with the stressors and challenges of children. Having spent time in a career, time as an adult, as an older mother, I am better able to settle down and take what comes along with patience and a sense of humor.

With you being 38 years old, during your prenatal care, they will offer you genetic testing; I would advise to do the screenings. I decided to have the offered genetic testing for my last two pregnancies. One, had an outcome that resulted in a premature birth with many difficulties; she did not survive. After much heart wrenching debate to give up or try again, after this devastating trauma to our life, we decided to try again. The second baby girl was healthy! After going through the risks and my age factor, I wanted to know what I was in store for and be informed in case there were problems again.

Being a career woman, I have many friends who are in your situation with a first child at a later age. They are wonderful mothers and the child has enriched their life - as it always does when its what you truly want for your life's plan.

I had an 18 yr. old daughter when I found out I was pregnant at age 39. They told me I had gestational diabetes. I followed a diet recommended by a dietician and was fine. 2 1/2 years later at age 42 I had another. It was definitely a lifestyle change. Our oldest was going away to college and we thought we would have the house to ourselves, so it was a big change, but it was a wonderful chage.

We have two - our oldest will be 5 in October, and our youngest will be 2 in November, and we're 42 (or at least DH will be in November).

We had to go through IVF for #1, and debated long and hard about whether or not to "go for two" knowing that we'd have to go through another fertility cycle. Plus, our first was a twin until about 10 weeks into the pregnancy when we lost her twin. We decided to try just once more, and she's now 22 months, and the biggest daddy's girl you ever saw.

I have to say I was more ready to try for #2 than DH was - he just was unsure about it. But hasn't regretted it at all. She won't even come to me in the middle of the night - it HAS to be him. She even looks more like him than she does me.

I've teased about having a third, and my sister just had #3 (she has two other daughters = 6 + 4). She said #3 is an angel. She rarely cries - just eats, sleeps and poops.

It's changed our lives a lot having our daughters around. We laugh a lot more. They love to play. We look at things a lot differently than we used to...what we watch on tv, what we listen to, etc. Not that we've dramatically altered that stuff - just we're cautious of.

But we look at going to the park or places where the kids can play. We might take a 1/2 day off from work so that DH and I can go to dinner alone and do any shopping or anything we need to do so that when we pick up the girls from the sitter we can devote the time to playing with them.

My family is now complete with our new little guy. I had him 2 weeks before I became 38. The pregnancy was EXTREMELY hard on me physically but it WAS WORTH it. My boys love him so much!! I had my other 2 boys at 29 and 30 so I wasn't young but after 35 you are more prone to high risk issues. I was nervous with the additional testing too but look at it this way, you'll get to see more of the baby with the extra ultrasounds etc... Do it now, the earlier the better. Good luck.

Hello! I turned 39 a month before delivering my son and it has been the most wonderful experience. The pregnancy was fine, no easier or harder than other people I spoke to. I'm more tired than I think I would be if I were 29 but I also have a lot more patience than I did back then. Also, financially we are in a better position for me to work part-time which is a blessing in itself. I think being an older mom is great! We are currently trying for #2 and if that works out I'll be a new mom turning 42 - YIKES!! Good Luck with your decision!!

I had Jenna when I was 38....she just turned 3. My pregnancy was my hardest but so worth it. Jenna is the light of my life and keeps me feeling younger. I didn't have my first baby until I was 30, my 2nd at 33, and then Jenna at 38. I'm so glad I decided to wait until my 30's to have kids- I'm so much more patient than I think I would have been in my 20's. Just make sure you talk to your doctor before and don't skimp on your prenatal visits. Good luck!!!

K.,
Hello, I am a 36 year old mother of a 3 year old boy and I am also recently divorced and was involved in a nasty custody battle. I am going to get married again in June, and my boyfriend has two daughters, ages 13 and 9. My boyfriend had a vasectomy, but he said he would have it reversed to have one more child with me. He is 38 but we love each other so much and would love to share a child together. If it doesn't happen, we would still be happy with our family. My sister is 37 and she is just getting ready to have her first baby in November. She lost one last year. I think you should do what is in your hearts. God will bless you to make the right decision. I feel like I have been robbed of raising my son the way I would like, so I would like to eventually have the chance to raise my next child with my best friend, not my enemy.

Hope this helps,
S.

Everyone so far has great comments. I too had my (only) son at age 38 & I did great. He is great & now 9 years old. My only concern is life. My husband had cancer when my son was two, so it really makes you think about things. So we will just cherish our guy & try not to spoil him too much. But I think about being 56 when he graduates from high school; in my 60's when he graduates from college. My husband is 7 years older than me. I worry about my husband or I not be around to see grandchildren, or great grandchildren. Some of my friends already have grandchildren! I'm an old mommy compared to the other soccer moms. But I will cherish every day & try to be as "young" a mom as I can be. Luckily, I don't look my age. I haven't been asked if he was my grandchild - like my older sister has, who had her daughter a year AFTER me! LOL

Hi K.,
I'm 37 and I have 3 beautiful girls ages 8, 6 and 19 mos. We thought we were done and we were very happy with our 2, but God had a different plan for us. I was terribly afraid of adding to our family while I was pregnant, becuase the older two did so well together and were close in age and we were getting to the point where we could do lots of fun things with out having to tow along all the gear and worry about naps and such. However, none of my fears have been realized. Jacey has been a wonderful experience for my older two, they are so much more patient with her and have learned so much about caring for another person. They are wonderful big sisters. I find that I enjoy her much more now that I have some experience under my belt, but don't have another toddler to worry about. My big girls are my helpers and love to entertain my tiny girl, their friends love to play with her as well. There are some things that she doesn't do with us, like Girl Scout camp, but there is always a grandma or Aunt willing to help during those times, and it gives her time away from having the older two around. The third pregnancy was a bit harder, I was more tired, there were more tests and worries, sometimes I felt like a geriatric patient instead of a mom to be, however, the delivery was easier. I found that my attitude was my biggest stumbling block, and once I got over that and started loving my baby(before she was born), that it has all been wonderful, and I can't imagine my life without her. Imagine that God was right again!

I would say it would depend on your overall health.I was 34 when I had my last child and he has had developmental delays.I now know that I have had an underlying thyroid condition that probably contributed to it. The doctors are now saying that thyroid conditions increase the chance of having an autistic child. He has mild ASD (autism spectrum disorder). He is the most sweetest kid in the world and I can't imagine my life w/o him but it is scary when issues continue to crop up and it breaks my heart to see him struggling. He is such a joy though and I know God wanted him to be here with me. ANd I am thankful for what he brings to my life.

just a quick note- I have four and the third and fourth are not as disruptive and life changing as the first two, infact it seems to be much easier... both of htese kids have also learned to go with the flow because they had to go to all the other activities of older siblings from 6 weeks on.... I love kids, they are always a blessing if you really want another one- GO FOR IT

I have two daughters born 17-1/2 years apart. The first when I was 21 and the second when I was 39. The positives of having a child later in life are many. I have more patience, more wisdom, more money, better self-esteem, and I appreciate the joys in life more. BUT I would think long and hard if you already have two that haven't gone through college yet. You're taking about adding on a huge financial strain to your family as well as stress to your marriage. While babies add a ton of joy to our life, the greatest number of divorces happen within two years after a baby is born so it you're having any issues in your marriage now, they'll be magnified after the baby is born. It's hard to have patience when you're not getting any sleep and you're putting all your needs and desires last. Also, grandparents don't have the ability to help out with baby sitting and they may have health issues that come up that need your help on top of taking care of your young child. I can't begin to to say how much I love being a mother of my incredible daughter, but if I had two daughters already, I'd think twice. The biological desire to have a baby is incredibly strong, but as intelligent human beings, we need to step back and decide whether this is really the right thing for our family and our finances. Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you won't have regrets either way.

Hi! I will be 43 this month and I have 3 children, 10 1/2, 7 1/2 and 5. I was 37 when I had my youngest and he was a surprise! My husband and I had just decided to quit at two, we had a girl & boy, but God had other plans. I had been torn about having a third, but we discussed it and with my age, money & other issues we decided against it. My youngest son is a clown and I couldn't imagine our family without him!! He keeps us feeling young and he and my older son are only 2 1/2 years apart and most of the time they play great together. Three is different than two because you are outnumbered as parents, but when my kids want to have friends over I always think, "What's one or two more when you have three?!" I had morning sickness with all three, but got smarter with how to handle each one (experience was definitely a plus!). Each delivery also got easier for me, but I consider myself blessed in that department. With my last one I barely made it to the hospital, literally. I delivered in the ER and the intern made it in the room just in time! I delivered with no drugs and it was the easiest delivery to recover from. Good luck in your decision!!! Debbie

I was 41 when we had our little princess...she's 15mos. now. I didn't really want a child until things were perfect - house, jobs, our personal economic situation. Then I had to worry about complications - which were none except for gestational diabetes, and that can happen regardless of age. I had the easiest pregnancy on record, I think! No morning sickness - just a little heartburn at the end...everyone says it was from all of her hair. A feel more patient than I would have been earlier in life - I was always short-tempered. I was downsized in March when she was 10 mos. old, so we play and hang out all day every day. We're going to try story time at the library this week. She hates reading with me just wants to eat the book... :) If your girls are buying expanding the family too...go for it! I had a great obgyn in Tallmadge - actually saw all the Drs in the practice so that would be comfortable with whoever was on-call my delivery day. I also had a hi-risk OBGYN who was VERY cool - down by Akron General. I went for fetal monitorings at City once a week for the last trimester just to make sure that EVERYTHING was okay, and it was. Good luck!

Ahh.. the midwest culture is definately showing in this post.... I grew up in IN but lived in CA for 15 years after college. Out there (San Francisco area), most people didn't even get married until at least 30 years old. Most first-time moms are 35-40 years old and it's pretty common to have a 2nd or 3rd child in their 40s. I had my first child at age 30 and was teased constantly about being a "young" mom. LOL! Now we're back in IN and I jsut had my 3rd child last year at age 35. We're thinking about having another in a few years. Everyone I know around here teases me about being an "old" mom. Yeesh!

Anyways... Most of my CA friends had babies while they were in their mid-to-late 30s and are totally fine. It's not like life stops when you hit 35. :-) You'll probably be better off than younger moms. You have age, experience and a better financial stability than younger moms. I never could understand why anyone would have kids right after college but each to their own.

Hello K.;

Because of a 'too early' marriage for me that didn't work out, I got married the second time at age 30. I had wanted children when I was younger but it didn't happen, and later I was glad it didn't because of who their father would have been. However, my new husband and I didn't do anything to prevent a pregnancy but it still did take awhile. Our first child, a boy, was born a little over two years after we married; our second son, when I was almost 34. They were a handful of course, and although I in some ways wanted him to be a boy too since they were only 19 months a part, secretly I longed for a daughter. Decided to try one more time and we lucked out; a daughter was born to us in July of 1983 after I had turned 37 the November before. I have always been healthy and that is very important; but I might add, I certainly never classified myself as a 'super mom'. I would say the most difficult part of having children when you are older is needing more sleep. It was difficult during those early months after they were born because I have never been the type that could get by with only 4 or 5 hours of sleep, but I made it just the same. Our second son too, had severe colic until he was six months old. But those times do pass, and I think the problems that we all have with our children at various stages of their lives are not going to be much different regardless of the age we are when we have them. And in some ways, at least for me, I am glad I was older because I may not have been mature enough to have made the best decisions if I had have my brood in my early-mid 20's.

Hello K.. I know I'm a little late on my response but wanted to respond anyway. I am currently 38 years old. I had my oldest daughter when I was 20 and raised her as a single mom, not much help from her dad. Until she was 14, it was just the two of us and I consider us to have a very strong bond. When she was 14, I met my current husband. Together, we had a daughter who will be 1 next month ( I was 36 when I got pregnant with her). I have to say I really appreciate each moment with the baby as I know how fast the time flew with my oldest daughter. My first few dr visits (I have to be honest and tell you) freaked me out. They bring up the statistics of having a downs baby, etc. I did not have the amnioscentisis (sp?) but they give you that option. In all honesty, I knew that God would never lay anything on my shoulders that I could not carry. I absolutely love being a mom to a little one again although I can tell you, on a daily basis, I remember that I'm not 20 years old anymore, she keeps me on my toes! But I wouldn't trade a single second! Best of luck to you and your family!

Hi!
Just wanted to share our story. We had our first baby (a girl)when I was 29 and just had our twin girls at age 35, with two boys in between. I also had a miscarriage at 18 weeks when I was 34--that was very devastating!! We were VERY shocked to be expecting twins as they don't really run in our family, but after researching it, I read there is a higher chance of conceiving fraternal twins when you are in your mid-upper 30s. So, just wanted to give you something else to think about. I have always wanted twins, so I was thrilled, but I know not everyone would be as happy about it. Oh, and I also wanted to mention that I talked to quite a few people who had a miscarriage then twins or know someone else who did, and I noticed that you mentioned a recent miscarriage, too. (Almost like God's way of making up for the baby we lost?) Anyhow, just more to think about...not sure how you feel about that possibility of twins! =) (We love it!!)
Good luck!!

What do your girls think? Do they want another sibling?

If I could have another one, I would, even now. (at 46)

I had my first at 37, my second at 40. They are the joy of my life, and I would love to have another. So if you and your husband want to, (and you seem to be leaning that way) and your girls are on board with it, I think you should go for it! Your family is already established, so I don't think that there would be much disruption to your life (famous last words!) and the older we get, the more patience we have with little ones. I bet you'll be really happy if you do.

Good luck with your decision. And know that whatever decision you make, it is the right one.

Blessings! J.

Hello K.
I am one of those moms that was 36 when I delivered my first and only child. I love my son more than anything but I will tell you losing weight at my age no matter how you gained it is not as easy as it was when I was in my 20's. I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy. My age really didn't bother me until I went in for my first OB appt and they gave me a new "special" magazine for older mom's. I think at any age if this is something that you want you will make it work no matter what the challanges might be. Children are truelly a blessing.
A.

Hi there, I had my first son at 39 and second at 41 and I recently, (less then 4 month ago misscarried). But I have the go ahead from my OB to try again. All were conceived naturally without any medical intervention. My husband and I were not married until I was 37. I have two healthy happy boys. I did have gestational diabetes with both pregnancies but it was monitored and controlled with diet and exercize. Lots of women have children later on in life. Good Luck to you.