I am 35-years-old (will be 36 in January). I have a 4 year-old daughter who has been my world since she was born. It's only been recently that I have gotten "baby fever." My husband would love another child, but totally supports any decision I make. However, I am concerned about the health risks involved for both a baby & me since I have gotten older. I would love to hear from some "older" moms or ones who are considering having a child after the age of 35. Thanks.
hello
I conceived and had my son when I was 37.. :) everything went well and he is completely healthy.. Looking back, I don't think 35 is "older" at all.. oh they did you it is, but when you hit 40 and over, you realize that in fact 35 is young... which leads me to this.. If you are in fact wanting to have another baby, begin NOW........... chances do diminish as we age (unfortunately) ok ok there are those who have babies in their EARLY 40s.. but it is definitely harder .. not too much and this may be TMI.. but hubbies get older too.. and things may not work like they once did.. meaning for example.. say it's that time of the month, you are fertile and that SMALL window of oppty to conceive is present but hubby can't perform, that too becomes a problem.... why do I even mention that aspect. ?? because I have known a few friends who waited until they were "older" and they NEVER even considered that aspect of the trying to conceive game........... so... point is.... you think you may want another... start now.... get healthy... stay healthy... take prenatals even before you are pregnant... get folic acid.... get lots of GREENS.... limit caffeine and fingers crossed you get that second baby...
as for being older when I had my child... best thing I ever did..... I definitely think I am a more of an "apparent" parent.... as I like to say...
Also, I very much enjoy every moment with my son... I think even more than my younger friends whom, they themselves don't always enjoy being around their kids.. For me, I realized that life goes by quickly and I want to relish every moment.. sometimes people don't have that kind of wisdom when they are younger.... (although some do) yet some don't...
Whatever you decide , best of luck
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M.C.
answers from
Detroit
on
I had my second at 36 and my last one at 39. Both babies are healthy. My mom had me at 42, 41 years ago...medicine has come along way:) If you are healthy and energetic, go for it:)
M.
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J.V.
answers from
Chicago
on
I had both of mine after 35, at 36 and 38. I home-birthed my second. It was amazing. My second has a kidney problem, but nothing serious. I had some swelling in the feet with both pregnancies, but perfect health otherwise.
Yes, the numbers start looking bad in terms of genetic problems, but you are ONLY 35. They don't start getting really scary looking till 38, and after 42, look out!
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T.C.
answers from
Charlotte
on
Hi M..
I had my son when I was 39 and had a totally non-complicated pregnancy. Except for the usual pregnancy woes, it was really easy. We couldn't decide on whether to have a sibling for him or not so we decided to leave it to the Lord. We went for our 10th anniversary (with our almost 2 year old son in tow) to Niagra Falls, Canada, and lo and behold, came back with my perfect daughter in utero. No pregnancy problems at all. I gave birth to her when I was 41 and turned 42 one month later. Now my husband has had a vasectomy. lol If I were you I wouldn't worry about risks, etc. You are still very young compared to what I was and best of all, the Lord knows exactly what he is doing. Best wishes!
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K.P.
answers from
Fayetteville
on
Hello--I had my first child at 30 and am currently pregnant with my second at 35. The second time around it took us over a year to get pregnant, with 2 chemical pregnancies along the way. I had to supplement with progesterone the first trimester. My problem was a combination of hormone issues and probably (we didn't have this checked) egg quality. We release fewer good eggs at this age. So, I would say start now if you want another. There are lots of success stories (my MIL was 38 when she had my husband--an "accident") but there are, unfortunately, plenty that aren't. I was shocked I had fertility issues..had no problems getting pregnant with my son.
I did the first trimester screen at 12 weeks (checks for Down's and is 90% accurate-better than the quad screen at 18 weeks), then the fancy ultrasound (the one high-risk, AMA moms get) at 18 weeks. The baby checks out great! I think age 35 is when complications for moms start to increase, but I believe how your last pregnancy went will better predict any complications you could have in the future. My doctor told me my risk for Down's was 1 in 240, but I had read 1 in 400?? Still, less than a half percent are good odds. I'm at risk for preterm labor, but that is based on my last pregnancy. So, I'm back on progesterone until 36 weeks. However, it is all WORTH IT! Good luck to you!
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K.N.
answers from
Austin
on
Keeping in mind that birth defects and pregnancy risks can happen at any age... We had our 1st when I was 34; I'm 38 now and 36 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. A month after she's born, I'll turn 39. Sonograms and testing say she's a healthy baby; I've had no pregnancy complications and no fertility issues. Honestly, I think it's more important to focus on your general health instead of your age... Such as whether you've got your weight (and blood pressure) under control, do you exercise often enough so that when you do it's not all huffing and puffing, the quality of your daily diet, how often you might drink or smoke, etc.
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R.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
Our first baby was born right after I turned 35, and we're trying for a second (I'm now 36). I don't feel old at all and we hope to have 3 or 4 total. :) I'm not concerned about the health risks. I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, eat properly, exercise and practice good mental health habits (attitude counts for so much!). I also never stopped taking my prenatal vitamins because I'm still nursing my first one...they're packed with good stuff. :) I say go for it!
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M.W.
answers from
Huntington
on
Health risks can happen at any age, just more likely the older we get. A healthy body begets a healthy baby. Eat well, & exercise regularly and you shouldn't have any problems. I had my last baby a week before I turned 40, for a total of 7 kids, the last 3 after age 35. & my mom had a baby at 38 & one at 42.
I am a midwife that cares for many Amish ad Mennonite ladies that are having double digit babies well into their forties... at home! In fact I have one client now who is having her second set of twins... babies # 12 & 13! I' not sure how old she is, but somewhere in her early 40's.
So far, with all the older mom's I've dealt w, only one had a Down's baby, who's pregnancy & birth went quite well, and one who had heart problems to begin with, just needed a C/S for the birth, but has a healthy baby. Overall that's pretty good stats. Fear not.
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J.P.
answers from
Boise
on
My friend had her first baby at 46 and her second at 49. Both of her children are happy and healthy. 35 is not too old. In fact, difficulties conceiving only label an age issue at 37 (still young in my opinion). You should be fine, and have no "age related" issues.
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A.B.
answers from
New York
on
I had my son at 36 easily got pregnant had a perfectly normal pregnancy. My mom's GF had her kids at 37,39,42 &45 all easy from inception to birth. Good luck if you decide yes!
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T.W.
answers from
Denver
on
Try not to over think it too much. I had my first at thirty and then my next two at 36 and 38 and now unexpectedly pregnant again at 40. The thought that the risks are higher and all that have entered my mind but I not for long. All my babies are perfect without a single health issue, including this most recent unborn (just had the big screenings and ultrasound). I say if you do decide to do it, just don't let it be an issue, babies need a calm, healthy beautiful environment, not a stressed out mommy worrying about what hasn't even happened. Even with higher risks, the percentages are quite low that there will be a problem. Just remember, you are given what you are supposed to have, so no matter what happens you are the right person for the job. = )
Good luck on your big decision.
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L.R.
answers from
Memphis
on
I had my first child at 30 and my third child at 35. Everthing went fine. What I did discover with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancy was that I really stayed in shape before and during my last two pregnancies. I gained less weight and really felt so much better with 2 and 3. Even had faster, easier deliveries with 2 & 3. I still think 35 is young! Go for it!
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K.M.
answers from
Memphis
on
35 is not too old. I know many people who had children when they were older and were fine. I had my first at 37, my second at 39 and now at 40 am trying for # 3. My mom had her kids at 34, 36 and 37. My sister had her first at 41 and is hoping for one more. I had a coworker who had a baby at 47. All of these pregnancies, except one were extremely healthy with few or minor complications. All produced perfectly healthy babies. As long you take care of yourself and get good prenatal care, you should be fine. And, while the risk of having a child with a problem is a bit higher, the odds are much more in favor of having a perfectly healthy baby.
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K.P.
answers from
Memphis
on
The age of 35 is fairly arbitrary, when it comes to pregnancy. I think they picked that date because somewhere around 35, the chance of women having a baby with Down's Syndrome increases, so that was a convenient date to start scaring women about other things as well. As you age, the risk of you having health problems does increase, and this may also cause you to be at higher risk of certain things during pregnancy, but it's hardly accurate to think pre-35 pregnancy = risk-free and post-35 pregnancy = dramatically high risks.
I've known many women who had babies at and after the age of 35, with no problems, and none who had health problems simply due to age.
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C.A.
answers from
San Francisco
on
My last baby was born when I was 40. She is perfectly healthy and beautiful!
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S.G.
answers from
Chattanooga
on
Hi both my children werre born after the age of 35 (I am almost 41 now and have a 4 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old). Both of my children were carried to full term and had no problems. The biggest problem that I had with my first is that I didn't gain much weight and had low amniotic fluid. My children are the light of my life and make me happy just to be near them and watch them laugh and play together. They are right on track developmentally. I would certainly do it again.
The decision to have a baby late in life can be a big one. You are at a higher risk for having some complications for both you and your baby - I have a friend who is going through this right now and they know their little one will not survive. My advice is to talk with your doctor about all the potential complications, look at your (and your husband's family history) for genetic disorders and then try to make the decision that is best for your family.
Unfortunately there is no easy answer as each person and family and is different and while many healthy, happy babies are born every year to older moms and dads there is a higher risk of complications that you must be prepared to deal with if your child or you develop them.
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R.B.
answers from
Raleigh
on
I had my daughters when I was 34 & 38. I had problems getting pregnant with both (it didn't have anything to do with my age, it was my husband). My second was easier than my first. My olderdaughter was a preemie (29 weeks). My younger was born via planned c-section at 38 1/2 weeks.
I suggest talking with your OB/GYN and finding out the risks. Most women are fine having babies in their late 30's. Good luck!!
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W.M.
answers from
Nashville
on
I was 35, almost 36 when I had my second child. Everything went great but 5 yrs later I am not as spry as I used to be so it is harder to get down and play with my kids on the floor but healthwise all is well. Many women are having babies at 40 or older. GO FOR IT! If you want another baby, 35 is NOT too old! Good luck
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S.B.
answers from
Redding
on
I know quite a few women who had babies later in life (35 isn't that late).
They didn't exactly plan on their little "surprises" in fact they thought they were going through menopause, but the babies and moms did just fine and they wouldn't have changed a single thing.
For what it's worth, I get baby fever every time I hold a little baby so it's a good thing I can't have more children because even at 47, I probably still would.
Personally, if you and your husband would like another baby, I think it's a great time for you to have one.
Best wishes!
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P.W.
answers from
Washington DC
on
Please don't worry. I had my first and only child at age 40 and he's perfectly happy and healthy...and incredibly active. Whew! Love him more than life itself.
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T.F.
answers from
San Diego
on
I turn 35 next month and I feel like my clock is ticking away. I am back and forth on weather or not we should try for #2. My husband's grandma had 2 children in the 1960's and she was 37 and 39 years old when she was pregnant. So she gives me hope that having a baby after 35 is still possible.
Good Luck!
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J.S.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
Mine were born when I was 32, 34 and 36. I didn't notice any difference between the first and third but for my label as "advanced maternal age".
I'm considering having a 4th, I'm now nearly 38.
Jessica
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L.A.
answers from
Reno
on
Hi I am 38 and had my first child last year. We plan to have another next year. No problems getting pregnant or carrying/delivering the baby. I say go for it. Statistically your chances for having something go wrong are higher but only by 2%...
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T.M.
answers from
Medford
on
I am almost 34 and pregnant with my 3rd, and we may like to have a 4th also. I talked to my OB about my age (she is a woman with 4 kids, and I'm guessing early 40's) and she said that at 35 the risk of something being wrong is about equal with the risk of having an amniocentesis. But if you are healthy then 35 really isn't a cutoff at all. I'd say go for it!
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R.U.
answers from
Nashville
on
hi, i am an older mom. i had my 12 year old at 27 1/2 and my 10 year old at almost 40. i just kind of spit them out. my 10 yrs. old only took 2:22 to have. wouldn't change things for the wolrd. good luck and god bless, go for it. mom of 7, R.
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J.K.
answers from
Phoenix
on
I just had my fifth baby at 39. Start taking good prenatals now and eat healthy and have fun!! I have a lot of friends right now who are older than 35 and pregnant. It must be int he water. =) Good luck!
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D.S.
answers from
Columbus
on
I had my 2nd son at 38 and he's a very healthy baby. Also, I have a couple of friends, 41 and 42 who gave birht to beautiful healthy babies recently. Most of my friends are about my age (and older) a we all have small healthy children (thank god), so I wouldn't worry to much about that if you have the energy to raise them.
Good luck!
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D.M.
answers from
Denver
on
Both of my biological sons were "surprises" - I had the oldest at age 39 (now age 6) and the youngest at age 44 (now 7 months old). They are both fine. Risks do go up, but the odds are still in your favor.
I found pregnancy to be VERY uncomfortable and hard on my body though, so I'd say go for it sooner rather than later for THAT reason. Age 36 sounds like a fine time.
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D.B.
answers from
Memphis
on
I was 39 when our last child was born, 12 years ago. I loved it and although I was considered 'advance maternal age' I never had problems or issues. Joshua rode high in my uterus and that often made it hard to catch a deep breath but my labor was only 6 hours start to baby & wonderful. My best friend is 51 and has a daughter that will be 6 in October and she did great with her pregnancy (her 10th child BTW). So don't let your age worry you, you'll be fine. I have enjoyed being an older Mom very much.
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A.S.
answers from
Eugene
on
I had my first baby at 33 and second six years later at 39. There was a difference in the way I was watched closer by my doctor. We didn't want a child with downs, for us or my child to have to care for once we were gone. Being older parents we thought of our daughter in the decision to do all the testing possible to insure we had a healthy baby. Many moms choose not to do the testing because it wouldn't of made a difference. They would of kept the baby. As heartless as that sounds we all have our opinions. We know who we are and won't be able to handle it well. Lucky of us the tests turned out fine and we have girls now six years apart. Being older it was a bit harder to get around with that big tummy, recovering, and loose weight. It is all well worth the final out come of a family of 4.
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A.J.
answers from
Williamsport
on
None of my closest friends had theirs before 40. I had my 3 healthy kids at 35, 37 and 39. With hard work I got back in shape as if nothing ever happened by my 40th birthday. I have all my energy and all my kids and feel blessed blessed blessed!
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J.C.
answers from
Lincoln
on
I have many friends who had babies well into their forties with no issues. If you and your husband would like another child then go for it! Have fun and don't worry!
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S.H.
answers from
Charlotte
on
Are you kidding? 35? 36? old? not even a little girl! we are in the prime of our lives!! I am pregnant with my second and am in BETTER shape than I was with my first. Age is in the mind (and in the hips sadly), but you dear are NOT old! And if your doctor says you are....find a new one!
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L.J.
answers from
Lexington
on
I had two after age 35, after having four earlier. The first, at age 36, was an easy pregnancy. The second was a little harder but I don't think it had anything to do with my age. I was in a stressful job and had five kids at home. The only problem I've had as an older mother is that I have less energy. I was probably a little more involved and active with my first four, though I did like to cuddle my last one. And I haven't felt like disciplining the younger two as much--I'm more likely to let things slide. But they're 15 and 17 now and they're good kids--positive attitude, decent grades--so I must have done something right! Medically, I know the obgyn will monitor you a little more carefully after 35, but most of time I think older pregnancies are no more riskier than younger ones. If you and your body are up to it, I'd say you should go for it.
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G.J.
answers from
Anchorage
on
My nine month old who's sleeping on my shoulder at this moment was born when I was thirty six (sigh...thirty six is now long gone...). I can tell that after four previous babies, the mileage was starting to tell on me a bit, but it went fine. If in doubt, go through your health and daily routine with a fine tooth comb and GET HEALTHY. Then go for it.
Best wishes and blessings
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J.S.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
I had my FIRST baby, the old fashioned way, at 47. It was a big shocker, but I had a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby son. My doctor once told me if women in their 40's had has much sex as they did in their 20s & 30's there would be a whole lot of women having babies well into their later years.....You are not "older"!!!! simply wiser and more patient. BTW I have a very healthy & happy toddler. Don't fret get on with making that baby;)
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W.M.
answers from
Seattle
on
I didn't feel that old having my second baby at 36 (6 years later) but now I do! I think a lot of moms arehaving babies later so it isn't that uncommon. You should talk to your doctor about health concerns specifically for you. For me, there were just a few extra tests but it was a lot easier in many other ways.
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C.S.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
I have 3 kids. Was 30, 35 and 39 when they were born. No problems being "Advanced Maternal Age" lol I was watched a little more closely because my son was a preemie (my first child) but other then that, all was fine.
Go for it. Good Luck!
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T.C.
answers from
Albuquerque
on
Hi M.,
Been there -
Done that -
Times two.
So's my little sister.
Just get a great MD you really like, and go for it, if it's what you want - LOL!
T
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C.S.
answers from
Rocky Mount
on
Dear M. i am 47 years old and i had my last child at age 40 and i was fine and so was baby my child is the love of my life all you have to do is eat right and drink a lot of water. it worked for me also i was very active hope this helps,
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R.B.
answers from
Nashville
on
I had my daughter at 36. We both had fertility issues, so my husband and I really had to work to get her. My husband is now 52 and I am soon to be 42 and we are talking about trying for another one. Our doctors say our chances now are better than they were 10 years ago. I had no problems with the pregnancy and actually felt better pregnant than I ever had before in my life. Our daughter is beautiful, smart, healthy, and keeps us young.
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D.P.
answers from
Raleigh
on
I had my first at 38 and my second at 41. Both of my pregnancies went great. I think that mysterious 35 number is now something of the past ... it really should be raised to at least 40. Most women are healthier at 35 than they were many years ago.
To keep my energy up with my two I make sure to take good quality vitamins and get some excercise for me in once in a while.
Good luck with what ever you decide!
D.
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A.F.
answers from
Raleigh
on
I didn't START having my babies until I was 35. Now I have a 3 yr old, a 21 month old and a 5 month old. Whew! Honestly, (not knowing the difference of course), I had beautiful pregnancies and deliveries. We may even have one more. I personally just don't want to be having babies after age 40. I'd like to enjoy them and actually be able to run around with them as they grow up! My doctors have mentioned additional health issues such as increased risks of Downs, premature birth and/or multiples, etc. They do monitor you a bit more when you are older, but if you want more, then go for it! Blessings!
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S.W.
answers from
Raleigh
on
I wasn't even thinking about my age when I got pregnant the last time at age 35, until my OB brought it up. I just loved having "advanced maternal age" written all over my chart. Ha-ha! Oh well....I had a fabulous pregnancy. I chose not to have several of the "extra" tests done, however, I found out I was having twins and so with all the extra ultrasounds and blood tests, I think any big issues would have been made known anyway. Yes-twins-my doctor seems to think my "advanced age" had something to do with it, but who knows for sure. I went 39 wks. had a c-section and two beautiful, healthy girls. Many blessing to you! Best wishes and just take care of yourself! Eat right and exercise and get some sleep!
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J.L.
answers from
Charlotte
on
I had my first child at age 37. I had a great pregancy, easy delivery. I think the main thing is to be as healthy as you can. I watched what I ate and walked a lot.
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M.Y.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I gave birth to my son a year ago when I was 35 1/2. I am now 36 1/2 and considering a second child so if we conceive now I will be 37 when my second is born.
I don't think the actual age matters so much as long as you are and feel healthy. I know people who have kids in the 40s. I think as long as you stay healthy you will have a good pregnancy and have the energy to tend to a new baby even if you are older.
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S.H.
answers from
Honolulu
on
Wow, I am almost just like you... meaning, my kids are 4 years apart.
BUT... I had both my kids, when I was older than 35 years old.
I got pregnant naturally, and had normal pregnancies and both my kids were born fine and normal.
My eldest, my daughter, was my world too... and she LOVES her little brother. They are 2 peas in a pod. Very much so. Very close.
During both my pregnancies, per my choice, I also had an Amniocentesis. Due to maternal age. It was fine.
You are NOT "old." Really.
For me and my Hubby, we wanted a 2nd child, so that our eldest was not alone, later. But I wanted to wait, before having the 2nd child. And then it just so happened that our kids are 4 years apart.
My daughter, when I had my 2nd child, was SO happy... she went around telling everyone proudly "Mommy had brother for me..." even though that is not what we told her. She was just over joyed to be a big sister....
MANY women, nowadays, have kids your age or older.
Its not unusual.
And yes, take prenatal vitamins already. I did that and that is what my OB/GYN recommended, while trying to conceive....
all the best,
Susan
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J.V.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I had both my kids after the age of 35 and both are very healthy. Age is only one compenent of having a healthy baby. If you don't smoke and drink, exercise, eat well and don't have a family history of problems the chances are you will have a healthy baby. You could always meet with a gentic counselor too to see what your risk factor is. I felt like a VIP because moms over 35 are considered high risk mothers. You have to have a perinatologist along with your ob/gyn and they watch you very carefully every step of the way. Good luck!
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D.M.
answers from
Denver
on
I had my first two weeks before I was 35 and the second at 37. My cousin had 3 after 41! There are always risks. If you really want another and are in good health I say go for it and enjoy!
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K.O.
answers from
Charlotte
on
I am considering another. I just turned 38. I had my third at 36. My friend had her first at 39 and second at 41. Go for it. Your daughter might like a sibling. You are still young. Good luck.