Am I Freaking Out Needlessly?

W.,
Woman are having kids later and later these days. I was 33 with my first and 36 with my second, we have healthy smart girls. Relax and good luck!

I have a nine year old boy that I had when I was 26 and I just delivered my second baby at 35 yrs old. First off, I find the age difference great! It's like having two only children. As far as personal concerns this pregnancy was very similar to my first. I do have a little less energy being nine yrs older, but really hasn't been that bad. It seems a lot easier this time being the second time around I have less concerns and less questions about newborns and babies. I also had no problems concieving my second it took less than 2 months to get pregnant, which was the same as my first pregnancy. Good Luck.

Hi! I had my first daughter when i was 20-21 and i just had my second baby at 31 (now i am 32). Everyone is different. My first pregnancy was a piece of cake, my second was awful...hahaha. I am really enjoying my baby. My first daughter i was young and still selfish. Two totally different places in my life. My firsy baby was easy as pie, this one is the one screaming in the shopping cart!! Hahaha. But i am so happy, and thankful for each one and thier unique qualities, so special. What part is freaking you out??? The pregnancy or rasing another child? Both have thier challenges...but the rewards far out-weigh any of them!

I had a boy at 17 and a girl at 33. They were VERY DIFFERENT pregnancies in every aspect. I think as long as your are healthy (no smoking, drinking) and take your vitamins as well as folic acid, you'll be fine. I was MUCH more tired, swollen, cranky and moody with my later pregnancy. I've also had more trouble losing the weight. My son is a lifesaver, helps me SO much. Since he's 17, when the baby falls asleep for the night (usually at about 8pm), my husband and I get to go out for a drink or the movies (free babysitter, sort of). You might not be able to that now, but in just a few years you might be able to. Having a baby at this age is so different than when I was younger. I'm not as selfish and definitely more mature. You'll be fine.

Remember you are still young!! I am 32 as of April and am now 11 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, and in fact this is the best pregnancy I have had! My other two were at 27 yr and 29 yr old! Everything is all good here!! Go for it!
God bless! J.

Had my first when I was 30 and my last baby when I was 34...I don't see how it would be any different other than you are now older, wiser and likely more mature.

You're under 35 so there shouldn't be any additional concerns medically unless you have family or personal history that dictates.

Good luck.
-M

Relax. I had my third at age 35 (the day after he was born I was 35). You can be tired more but you also have another child you're dealing with (at least your son is old enough to help out, my kids are three years apart). If I was 32, I'd have another!

I turned 30 while pregnant with my first son, turned 34 while pregnant with my second son and I'm 38 going on 39 and just had my little girl 5 weeks ago. All 3 were full term and super healthy. The pregnancies were just typical pregnancies. My last 2 children were born at a freestanding birth center. At my first apt for my little girl the midwife was asking all the usual questions and did note my age. But hearing all the "right answers" to the questions..ie, I'm a healthy weight, active, eat healthy, don't smoke etc and so on she said that my age was not an issue at all. It is less about age and more about your overall health really nowadays. That "magic number" 35 is IMO an outdated average.
Don't stress over it, things will be fine :)

I had my 1st child at 33. I took prenatal vitamins-that is it. It was more of a mental readiness for lifestyle change. good luck

32 is still so young!! I had my first baby at 37 and had no complications. If you're under 35 you don't even have to worry about all the genetic testing they try to force on you. I was a child at 20 and cannot imagine having been a mother then! I bet you are so much wiser now too! I am planning on trying to get pregnant next year. That will make me 40 when I deliver and, no, I'm not terribly worried :-)

I was 34 when I got pregnant with my twins. I was single til I was 28, so wasn't in a hurry to add kids to the newlywed picture. I'm older than many of the moms at my kids school, but definitely NOT the oldest. I think you'll find that you're not alone and that parenting at 30 something is pretty common. My advice is it's easier to handle parenting in your 30's than you think. You're probably more prepared, more patient and wiser than you were as a 20 year old. One of my dear friends has a large age gap between her kids. Her philosophy is "kids are like pancakes, the second one always comes out a little better than the first one". (HA)Honestly, I think it's going to be great, and hopefully you'll have a good 12 year old helper. Don't freak out, enjoy!

I had both my children in my 30's with no problems whatsoever. I was 34 and 36 when my kids were born. I will say that I was more focused on staying healthy for the baby, less selfish. I would have had more kids if my DH had been willing. But now at 40 I am done. With today's technology being PG after 35 is not as bad as it used to be. In fact it is becoming the norm. My OB/GYN had a baby at 42 and that baby is now 8 years old. :)

Hi W., I got started dating my 2nd husband at the age of 30. My first decided after we were married he didn't want kids after all. And I always had. I had my first child at the age of 35 and my second at 37. I was a little over weight even and I had the most easest pregancies. I had them both natual. After waiting so long to have a child I declinded any test they wanted to give me, when your over the age of 35. I did not want to take any chance of miscarriage. I have many friends that have had children later in life. I think many have made that decision now days. I hope this helps a little. Good Luck and I hope your dream comes true. M.

its true that with increase in age comes an increase in risk for birth defects, especially downs. But 35 is the real age at which you need to worry. I was pregnant with my first at 32 and am pregnant again at 34. Do it before you are 35. And yes my pregnancy was rough, but it probably would have been rough in my 20's as well. Here is a link showing rate of downs based on mothers age. http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/downsyndrome/l/bldownssyn.htm

Hello W.,
The time span from when you had your son till getting pregnant now will be like a new pregnancy. Every 5 years it's like your body is starting all over. I have two children 5 1/2 years apart. I had my son when I was 32 and I have had a lot of friends that have had their children 32, 35, 38. It is really okay. I loved being pregnant, it just didn't love me. I was really sick with my son, but wasn't sick at all with my daughter. Every pregnancy is different. You are still a young woman and have time for children. Stick to good eating and exercising, even if it's just walking. You should have a delightful pregnancy.

Hi W., i had my third child (planned) at age 32, my husand too was in the Navy, everything went just as smooth with my third baby as it one did with my first one did at age 26. J.

There is nothing for you to worry about. I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. The first one I did not even feel pregnant. It was the easiest pregnancy. The second (a boy) was a little uncomfortable at times. It is not your age, it is just the pregnancy. Everyone I know has different experiences with each pregnancy.

Good luck

OMG! Yes you are freaking out needlessly. Having babies today in your 30s is very common. I had my first at 35 and currently pregnant with my second at 38. I have girlfriends who have had their third and fourth in their early 40's. So don't worry. Just be smart, eat right stay away from the bad things like alcohol, smoking etc and you will be fine. Good luck.

Hi W.,
I had my first child at 24, the second at 36. There are 12 years between them. It was like have an only child twice. My son is the oldest and really was a big help with his little sister. They are very close to each other. My son is now 25 and my daughter is 13. I have really enjoyed the time I have with each of them.

Hi W.
Both of my kids were born when I was in my 30's - I was 34 and 37. Both healthy normal pregnancies. I think older moms are more common these days. A friend of mine gave birth to 3 kids at the ages of 39, 41 and 43. Strangely, her first was 9 weeks premature, her second was 5 weeks preemie and the third one had o be induced because he was late!! She actually got better with age!

Good luck with your decision, you are not old!!!!!!

I had my baby and 40 and she has been worth every tiny hiccup we encountered. I'm ready to do it all over again at 47. =-)

Hi W.,

I was 37 when I had my little angel. You are below the age that they say "have risks". The best advice I was given was from my doctor (who has 5 kids): watch what you eat, take your vitamins, get rest, and enjoy the precious life you are going to bring into this world. It wasn't all rainbows and lollipops by any means, but I took it day by day. My little angel is 17 months old now and a ball of energy!

Good luck and enjoy!

I waited until in my 30s to have my children. I had my last one at 34 and had no problems. All of my pregancies were easy and I had no complications.

I think when you have children in your 30s you aren't as naive about things you would have been in your 20s. And since you already have a child you know what to expect. You may be a little more tired raising a little one now, but you will build up your stamina. :)

Good luck expanding your family!

why are u freaking out? i'm 44..got pregnant at 40 had my son at 41..perfectly healthy...and i'm in the best shape of my life..i workout a lot..and am now considering becoming a trainer. you are young!! don't sweat it!

I had my third child when I was 35. My other two were 10 and 7 at the time. While I was definitely more tired than with the other two, I had no problems. Delivery was about the same, but recovery seemed a day or so slower. Having the older two around to help was a big plus!

My only concern is that you're JUST married. Being married is a big adjustment for you and your husband, not to mention your son. Adding a baby to the mix? It may be too much too quick. Perhaps it's just a little too early! but, you know what's right for you & your family, so good luck.

Yes you are- LOL! My daughter just delivered her third baby two weeks ago today, a precious baby girl. No worries, no problems. She is 34, still a fine time to have a baby. They have a 12 year old, and a 2 year old. You enjoy this time, you newlywed you!
Blessings to you and your family,
V.

I had a child at 19, one at 21 and another at 30. 30 was a lot harder on my body, so you can probably expect the same. With regard to your husband being deployed, I do not agree with people having children knowing that one of the parents will not be around much to provide their influence. What happens if he dies while he is deployed? Then your baby has no father. I know that is abrupt and might sound mean, but it is a very realistic possibility. I suggest you at least wait until he is back. At 32, you still have a couple years before you really have to worry about birth defects due to your age. I would wait a bit and see how things go in your marriage and wait until your husband gets back. Good luck!

Hi W.- well maybe this will be helpful to you. My pregnancy ages were 27, 29 (miscarriage), 30 and 39. My middle pregnancy had the most nausea ( but not as bad as some women- I just had to start the day slowly). Enjoyed being pregnant all the times...and had increasingly more severe post partum depression with pregnancy #2 and then #3- I think partially from having more work involved with a growing family and the progressively decreasing relationship with my husband. It was difficult at first with kids aged 11,8 and infant. That's the negative.

However the positive really outweighed and continues to outweigh any negative. My older kids never had difficulties with the baby, maybe because they were older and didn't feel threatened. It was wonderful to be able to walk around the neighborhood sometimes just to get a break and not take the baby. I think you'll find your son will be a great helper, as long as he only helps and isn't in charge of the baby. My kids continue to be very close. I continue to have a very good relationship with all my kids.

I do think if you get pregnant soon that you'll have to reassure your older son that he is and always be special to you. Since you have a relatively recent "new man" in your life with marrying your Navy man- I think it could take your son some time to get used to another major change.