I Feel like I'm Going Crazy

B.-
I feel your pain!!! :) I'm a sahm and find myself alone with the kids for long hours at a time. I have 2 now. When my first was under 2 or so and we were both worn out and cranky, I would let hime play in the bath (he LOVED baths)while I sat right there and stretched and relaxed myself not having to pack him around. Then, we'd both go get in my bed and take a nap with the sound of the fans running. It always helped relax us, we'd get some rest, and after being all strung out, it was nice for us to be at ease and cuddle together.
If it's a nice day out where you are, put him in the stroller and go for a walk. Fresh air does wonders for us. We've gotten to do that a few times the last couple of weeks. My 9 month old loves that.
As far as your MIL, I'd tell her to help or get out! haha
Good luck!!
-E.

My advice is look for any opportunity to take that moment to yourself. You absolutely are NOT an awful parent. (In the same turn, she should be telling herself she is an awful grandparent for not playing with her grandson for a few moments, but that's just my opinion.) I don't know a single mom who hasn't been overwhelmed at some point or another. There is nothing abnormal at all about how you are feeling. Being fatigued never helps our moods, either. Don't feel guilty for needing some time to collect yourself. There is nothing wrong with it and it is absolutely necessary to continue being a good mom. Otherwise, you are going to be pushed so hard to be everything to everyone and you'll end up neglecting yourself. Sometimes we have to just let them cry for a couple of minutes and step away to take a few good deep breaths. It's no fun for us or the kids, but you've gotto do what you need to do. Good luck, and you'll make it through this stage just fine.

You are not an awful parent! It's normal to get frustrated, especially when you're doing so much by yourself. It's hard work and you need some sort of an outlet.

Do you have anyone that can watch your son so you can get out for a bit? Even if it's only for 30 minutes or an hour. You could lay down and rest, go for a walk, go to the gym, go grab a coffee and read a magazine, browse a bookstore, window shop, get your hair done, whatever! Whatever it is, just get out and do something for YOU. On Sundays my husband watches my daughter for an hour or so while I get out of the house. Sometimes I go to Starbucks get a coffee and just drive around. It's nice to get out by myself and it definitely helps my sanity.

If you can't get out for a bit, try doing something else for yourself while your son naps or after you put him to sleep for the night. Paint your nails, do a quick workout, garden, read a book, or whatever other hobbies you enjoyed before your son came along. Even if it's only 20 minutes, trust me, it does help. You might also want to think about joining a mom's club.

It's also perfectly fine to set your son down and take a few deep breaths and calm down for a few minutes if you are feeling overwhelmed. Don't let your MIL make you feel badly for doing what you need to do.

If you feel like this might be something more than just being overwhelmed and frustrated, don't hesitate to call your doctor or talk with a counselor, for your sake and for your son's sake.

I AGREE.. you are NOT a crazy, bad or awful parent... you are completely normal.

Being a mom has proven to me that I am not as patient as I thought I once was... it has also proven to be the hardest job I have ever had!

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job, and your baby boy is blessed to have a parent who knows when they need a moment alone to collect themselves.

Something I learned quickly... they will not die from crying. LOL

Take care of yourself - and try to keep it in perspective -there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It sounds like both you and your husband are juggling a LOT!

Oh, when your mother in law says something again, just smile and nod... and think to yourself how fortunate you are that you are only related through marriage. LOL

Bless your heart! You are not crazy nor a bad parent. I agree with everything everyone else has posted. Trust me, my kids are 17 and 13 and there were plenty of times I thought I was going to lose it. I think if anything you are VERY healthy by realizing the need to walk away and take time to collect yourself.
I remember once comparing myself to my mother in law and wondering why I couldn't do it! She never said anything like that to me, but she had 4 kids in 5 years and kept the home fires burning as my father in law was climbing the corporate ladder. I had my 2 kids over 4 years but continued to work full time, (my choice) as a nurse until the youngest was in kindergarten. Well then I found out later that yes my mother in law did it, but was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown! I bet June Cleaver was too! And I'm sure you're mother in law wasn't as saintly as she wants you to think.
Even going to the grocery store at night after my hubby got home was a relief! IT DOES GET BETTER and YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!

Take care of yourself. And it sounds like you have an amazing group of women here to support you.

Lori K

You are not an awful mother for setting your child down! Your mother-in-law is the awful one for telling you that! When you're son is sleeping, you need to try to take a little nap too. I know, you have things to do around the house while he's sleeping, but right now, let it go. If you keep running on empty, you'll end up sick too. Also, for his diaper rash, try letting him sit in an oatmeal bath. It'll help a little with the pain. Aveeno makes one that I've used before.

You need some you time! You are not a bad parent for putting the baby down. Shesh! Can you get a sitter for a few hours, even if it's for 2-3 hours so you can have a chance to soak in the tub, get a pedicure...something so you can have time to yourself? Me I like to set a relaxing mood in the house by playing a lot of Zen type music and having a nice light lavender scent to help me, the 3 and 5 year old. It sooths our nerves!

Being a full time mommy doesn't mean being there 24/7. You need some "me" time and get away if for only an hour. You will come back much more tolerant and refreshed. Have your mother-in-law come over for some hands on babysitting--she might be more understanding after that!
grandmother of 5

Oh sweety you are not crazy nor awefull. It is very hard dealing with a ill child, let alone when your spouse cant be there to give you a helping hand when needed. I agree with what all others mom's have said, you need a break everyday if possible even if its just to take a long hot bath or a nice walk. Dont ever feel like a bad person for asking someone for help on watching your little one for you even if its 30min a day. Your mother in-law should be kind hearted and relized how stressfull it is and volunteer rather than put you down. I asked friends to stop by even just long enough for me to soak in a bath not havin to worry bout jumping out at the sound of a wimper. You are a great mom and need to think of your self too, take that time to your self everyday. Every mom deserves a little break. Good luck
A.

First of all you are not an awful parent for setting your son down to give yourself a minute to collect yourself. The one piece of advice that my mother gave me when my daughter was born was that when that baby is crying and won't stop and your nerves are on edge, put the baby down in a safe place and go to another room and breath. Putting the little guy down and walking away for a minute is better than doing something you will regret later (and it sounds like you have a mother-in-law like I do).

It is normal for the stress to get to you. It's going to just accept that and find a way to deal with it. Talk to your doctor about your son, once you can get him better then things will get better for you. And also have some one watch your son for a while now if possible. Your husband when he is home or Grandma so that you can take a walk or a bubble bath or just lie down for an hour and rest. Once he is feeling better find someone that you can have a girls day with every so often. My sister and I leave the kids with our husbands and go to lunch and go to a "chic flick" every couple of months. It does soooo much for us just to get away for a few hours. You'll feel like a new person and ready to tackle anything. But most important you are not an awful mom for getting stressed and don't let anyone make you feel that way.

Good luck!
S. - Mom of Audrey (6) and Natalee (4)

1st of all, NEVER listen to your mother-in-law!!!! I think they sign an agreement before we marry their sons to be mean to us. (OK not all, but mine did)
Do not feel the tiny bit guilty for putting down your son, he needs time to be on his own, with you near by, of course. And at 11 months, I bet he doens't want to be held all the time.
I know it may be an expense, but it's worth your sanity, hire a sitter. Check to see if any of the neighborhood girls can watch him for a few hours after school. You don't even need to leave the house, just take a nap. There is nothing wrong with feeling over-whelmed.
My husband tends to work long hours like yours every week. Then he feels the need to golf on Saturdays. But after golf is over, he has our kids until Monday morning. I've told him he could sleep in on Saturdays but he chooses golf. That's his decision.
As for your bambino's diaper rash, let him play, naked, in an empty bath tub. Let him air out for awhile, the bath tub is easier to clean than your floors. Then make sure he's clean and lather him up with Aquafore or some other thick butt cream, and you are good to go!
If you are frazzled, your baby feels it, then you resent your husband, it's not good for any of you. Try to get a sitter for a little bit, and do something for yourself.
Good Luck!

B.,

Your not crazy. Being a mother is hard especially your first time and basically with no help. Its normal to feel that way. I did every time. You need to find some"me" time. When the baby sleeps take a long bubble bath instead of doing house work. The best advice I can give is to sleep when the baby does. It will get better with time. Just hang in there!

Hey there B.,
Trust me, you are not going crazy. I promise. Don't listen to your mother-in-law. You are not a bad mother. My husband was gone for the first two years of our son's life because of deployment and I felt the same way. It's totally normal to have those feelings of being frustrated and annoyed. Setting your little guy down so you can collect yourself is not going to hurt or scarr him. Put him in his crib and shut the door for about 5 minutes and walk away. He can tell when you are frustrated. You may want to have his ears checked for infection. My youngest cried and cried for like 3 days straight and we finally took him in and he had a double ear infection. He never pulled at his ears so I didn't catch on. Can you call one of your friends or family members and ask them to watch your little one for a few hours so you can get out of the house? I am a stay at home mom and you can feel like you are going crazy being at home all day long with an infant and no adult to communicate with. You are a good mother and are not doing anything wrong and you are not crazy. You are just a worn out mommy.

-K.

B.,
Hi, Just another cheerful lifting note for you.
Smile God LOVES YOU!!! You were blessed with a beautiful child and YOU ARE PRECIOUS in God's eyes.
Kudo's to all the mom's, including me that cheer you on.
YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!!! YOU LOVE YOUR SON!!! YOU are staying home for him. YEAH--YOU!!!!
BOO the mother-in-law, shame on her, she should know better.
LOVE AND HUGS--FROM ME AND ALL OTHER "CRAZY FOR OUR KIDS MOMS"
M. N.

You are not an awful parent. I think your mother-in-law was way out of line. The best thing that you can do for your children when you are frustrated is to take a few minutes to settle yourself. Children, especially under the age of 3, require a great deal of our time and patience. Even the best of mothers would be frustrated being left alone with a sick child and no support. While I can understand that your husband is at work and unavailable to help out, is it possible to reach out to another family member for support? If not, try hiring a sitter...if only for an hour. You won't believe who much better you will feel after getting just 30 minutes to an hour of rest or freedom. Good Luck!

If you are not breast feeding, Try and get some ST johns wort it helped me alot with my nerves and going thur the change, Dont listen to mother inlaw they dont always know what they are talking about,When you up set the little guy knows it, good luck. B.

First of all, shame on your m-i-l for even saying that! When parents DON'T take a time out, that's when babies get shaken! (not saying you would that! but you know what I mean!) How about instead of criticizing you, she help you and maybe take over for an hour or two a few days a week! I am also a SAHM of an 11 month old and she just got her 2 front teeth and let me tell you! It was bad! My husband was out of town for work for a whole week and I live far from any family. I was frustrated and felt myself losing my cool and then wondering why, just like you. Ask for help! That's what good mommies do! Kudos to you for recognizing what is going on! Find a friend or family member to talk to and it is ok to put them in their crib where they're safe and take a break. Crying for no more than 10 minutes is ok. Good luck, and don't let other people get you down-you're doing the right thing!

You are never crazy or a bad mom for needing a moment to collect yourself!! I'm so sorry that someone told you that.

You are not crazy! You just need a break. Is there anyone who can watch your son for a little while? You're just stressed out. I know sometimes there's not the time or the money to do things for yourself, but if you know anyone who's ever offered to babysit, take them up on it! You're not an awful parent either. It's much better to step away for a moment and collect yourself than to respond in anger.
You'll get through this!
R.
____@____.com

Excuse me but the H___ with your MIL on what she said,you are being a normal wife and mother.Evey now and then thing's get out of routine and it is hard for your body to readjust let alone having children involved.We all have to collect ourselves some point in the day and if it is setting your son down so be it.If you have some help you can count on then go for it cause now i'm wishing I did I have an almost 5 yr.old son and 16 month old daughter now and yes i'am married but he work's and he is out fishing all day since his hr.s of work changed I have no time by myself to do anything for me at all and has been since I had kiddo's and that is great what isn't ao great is that I have a husband who think's I don't need him to be around the house more often to help me raise the kid's his point is it's my job,and I disagree.You can do it if you are becoming more annoyed try to set a schedule for yourself,I have my kid's bathed after dinner usually after 5:30 we eat bath's cartoon time then get teeth brushed and off to read for bed time at 7:30 no later then 8 it works for me so I get to have at least an hr. to myself to regroup for the next day.

first off i know how u feel ! im a stay at home mom of 3 ones3 ones17 months and ones 2 monthes im 26 and there dad works nites and sleeps in the mornin then gets up and goes fishin or hunting and i have the kids 24 7 and it is tough. your not a bad mom. forget what they say,until resently i thought oh i need a break so finally iv joined a gym and my sister in law started watchin my kids its only a couple hours 2 days a week but its a big change to me and my kids im not so snippy anymore and i dont hate there dad as much we actually talk ,I to had to hear all the time how worthless of a mother i was for wantin to be alone for a bit and now i dont care what they say everyone needs a break its only human.
oh and for the diaper rash try burnt corn starch

How dare your mother-in-law, or anyone for that matter call you a bad parent for needing some time off!! She is in the wrong here!!

I have been in your shoes. Sick kid with the feeling of no one around to help out. You need to hire a babysitter for half a day, or even a day, for you to have a breather. How can you give 100% to your child, if you don't have 100% to give? On your time off, go do something you enjoy, get a massage, go to a park, sit, and relax. SOMETHING! I'm telling you from experience, if you don't, you will regret it and possibly deep down inside hold this bad experience against your child in some way.

You are NOT a bad parent for needing a breather for a short moment! Good parents take care of themselves too! Go and relax.

Best Wishes to you!

J. H.

Get a playpen, pad it well with sheets, take off that diaper, bathe the little guy, let him soak in the water to cool down his diaper area and AIR DRY. Don't put another diaper on him, let him go in the playpen. If he wets or poops, just let him play in the water some more, dry him up, briefly put a cloth diaper on him while you change out the playpen for the washing machine. AIR will naturally calm his skin down, it will take TIME. Luckily, it's springtime in the Ozarks. Do you have a sunny spot by a window, limited natural sunlight will help also. We did this with our daughter, she had terrible rashes as a baby. It was amazing, her skin cleared up. Now, this takes TIME. My hubby camped out on the couch and he & our daughter watched TV for a couple of weeks while nature did its job. IT WORKED! Also, consider changing your brand of diapers, he might be allergic to the diapers.

Started a new business? Oh, how exciting & exhausting with a little one. Mother-in-law? She's thinking of the pain of the diaper rash, perfectly normal response.

Got a stroller? Take the little one to the park & collect your thoughts & get that fresh air.

Hope this helps,

Mom of 3 (1 graduates college in 16 days!)

You are absolutely NOT a bad parent or crazy!! It's not easy! I think you are doing a good thing by "walking away" to collect yourself when you feel overwhelmed! Good Luck, this too shall pass!

First of all, if your mother in law says you are an awful parent for taking care of YOU...shame on her!!! First an foremost you are YOU....then you are a mom. If you are not rested then how can you care for your son let alone yourself. Yes, you are exhausted! The first year and even second years are exhausting. Your mind is probably exhausted and somewhat depressed because being a mom is like being on call at the hospital 24/7....with no break ever!!!

I would get his diaper rash checked by his pediatrician to be sure there is not a yeast component. Then I would get YOU some good sleep. Are you sleeping at all at night? Can you have a relative/sitter come to take care of your son overnight one night so that you sleep? If you are like most moms you don't sleep heavily even when your son DOES sleep. You need a night to recuperate....and then you can be super mom again!!! Please take care of you. (Note : nursing moms have even more trouble sleeping...are you nursing at all?)

OF COURSE you love your son more than air....but if you are not rested you are of no use to ANYONE!!! :)))

NO!NO!NO! I totally understand your frustration.I am a stay at home Mom so I am home all day with the kids.My Husband works 24 hour shifts as a firefighter (45 min away) then Mon-Fri on the days he's not at the FD he goes straight to another job.So he leaves the house at 6 AM one morning and returns arund 4-5 PM the next day.Then we get him in the evenings that he's not at the FD.So I physically and mentally drained and when he gets home I'm ready for him to take over but he's physically exhausted.So needless to say I feel like a single Mom alot.When the kids are sick I take care of them when I'm sick I take care of them etc,etc,etc.We have a two year old that has alot of stomach problems and I can relate to the being fussy and the nasty diapers as well.Sometimes you have to take a breather!Don't listen to your Mother in Law.First of all you are not hurting him by putting him down even if he doesn't feel well.Yu are doing him a favor by stepping away for a second and not letting your frustrations show towards him.Make sure you are taking time out for yourself.Take a shower while he's sleeping,reading r watching t.v.,whatever you enjoy.I wasn't taking care of myself and fouond myself falling into depression,Hope this gives you a lift!Take care!

NO YOUR NOT A BAD MOM everyone needs time to get it together if you know its not something to take him to the doctor about it might just be teething and/or
he might just be missing his dad
try giving him teething tabs if he is cutting teeth i have given them to my last two kids and they work great. one just turned 3 getting molars and the other is turning 2 soon
when you get him to calm down you rest with him if poss
hope you get the rest you need and most of all pray!!

I feel for you B.. When I had my first little one, my husband travelled a lot, it's tough when it is just you to care for child and home. What helped me through it was getting away for time for myself, even if just an hour to go grocery shopping without having the baby with me. I used local baby sitters or was lucky to have a wonderful mother-in-law close by. You really need to use your support system, friends, neighbors, family to help you out - they will understand. There are also Moms Day Out services offered in most areas. You have to take time for yourself - YOU'RE WORTH IT and will be a better mom for it. Best of luck to you - It Takes A Village To Raise A Child.

I've gone through the same thing myself a few times. I was rescued by good friends who would take my son (now 4) for even an hour and often more so that I could just shower, or go grocery shopping by myself, or just clean like mad with the radio blasting. If you have anyone, ask. Often they don't know you need help until you do. And if you don't have anyone like that, if you live close drop me an off-board message--my son and I would be happy to hang out at the park with your guy while you shopped or something, or you could just come over for coffee and some mom-time while the boys play. I live in S. City St. Louis. Let me know! Don't let your mil make you feel guilty. As a stay-at-home mom, you HAVE to take time to recharge, or it will be much worse for everyone!

You are NOT a horrible parent for setting your child down to collect yourself. You have to take care of yourself 1st. You are no good to anyone if you can't take some time to gather your thoughts and patience. Hang in there. Remember this is a growth process for everyone.

I understand how you feel. My husband works crazy hours,too. I don't think it's bad that you set your little one down to collect yourself. It's better than the alternative of totally losing it on him. I think you have to sometimes, especially when you're the main one that is taking care of him. It's very hard to take care of a sick child when you feel like you are burning your candle at both ends. Keep up the good work you are doing and if someone says anything more to you either ignore it or ask them if they would like to help you out by taking him for a little while so that you can rest.

B......When I read your post I just had to respond! I am also a stay at home mommy with a just 3 month old. My husband travels for work. This week he is out all week to Friday night, then flying back out Sunday night for the next week! i understand being "alone" sometimes. I want to encourage you that you are a GREAT mom! Please listen to your own intuitions. you know your needs and your sons. No on knows that better than you. There are many times I have to set my daughter down just to take a breath myself. And you know what? That makes us great moms. We cannot be the best for them if we are not at our best. Do you have any friends around that could maybe watch your son for an hour so you could go sit at Starbucks and read a book or go to Sheridan's and grab an ice cream? Oh...please know I will say a prayer for you friend! Blessings...

I remember sitting in a rocking chair holding my daughter when she was about this age, it was the middle of the night and she wouldn't sleep without crying. We were living with my parents at the time and there were 5 people in the house who had to get up in the morning and go to work or school, I knew I would be the only one with her and her 3 year old sister the next day. I sat and cried feeling sorry for myself for having to hold her instead of sleeping! Every mom goes through those times, it turns out she had an ear infection so when I'd lay her down the pressure increased in her ear and made it hurt more. I made it through and so will you. She's 24 with 2 kids of her own and she's doing a great job with them.

Just remember every time you take time to calm yourself instead of doing something like shaking them, you are being a GOOD MOM. If you have to lock yourself in a room to keep from spanking too hard you are a GOOD MOM!

A GOOD MOM is one who knows her limits and takes care of her emotions instead of giving in to them in a destructive way. I stopped listening to my MIL years ago and I've been able to stay married to her son for 28 years because of this decision. I listen to what she says then do as I please!

I agree that frequent baths and no diaper are a good solution, I've done that before. I have used so many solutions in my time, but the best I've found so far is a cream called Butt Paste (I really appreciate the name!) My 3 week old granddaughter is already using it (she had Thrush, a yeast infection on the tongue), so I'm assuming her diaper rash was yeast related too.

You sound like a GOOD LOVING MOTHER to me!

B.,

It sounds like you have a lot going on in the first 11 months of bringing your child into the world. The balance between our personal and work lives is particularly challenging when we are working hard to "put our child first", because as we all know this is what we want to do from the moment that we start to bond with our new precious child. Our priorities shift significantly to create a loving, supportive environment for our kids and it sounds like you are doing everything you can (i.e. starting your own business to stay at home) to support your little guy.

I am an RN who has a strong background in mother/baby and women's health and am currently working on my Family Nurse Practitioner Master's in Nursing. Several things about your post stand out to me. One: You state that you feel like your "nerves are gone" and "I feel like I am going crazy". As a mother, I can clearly identify with what you are feeling. You are not alone in these feelings. As a professional, my concern is that you might be experiencing some postpartum depression. Please understand that I am in no way attempting to diagnose you! I am simply observing that it might be in your best interest to call your GYN today and schedule an appointment to discuss the feelings you are having with a professional so that you can be screened thoroughly by someone who is familiar with your medical/social history. I know when we hear "postpartum depression", we can panic thinking "something is wrong with me!" or that medication is the only way to go to address your issues. This is not the case. What you need right now is SUPPORT. And your GYN can listen with a non-judgmental ear and direct you to whatever support he/she feels you need at this time. This leads me to my second observation: I can understand why you might question whether you are an "awful parent" when someone as close to you as your mother in law makes such a statement. This statement has been made during a time that you are feeling vulnerable, tired, overstressed and when you are transitioning to a new life with your son. I hope that you recognize that this type of statement is just the opposite of the support that you need. And coming from a fellow mother who has been there, you are NOT an awful parent! I encourage you to understand that a mother in law who is making these types of statements has her own issues, none of which have anything to do with you. Insensitive comments such as these are to be ignored, not taken as fact. Finally, I would ask...are you doing anything for yourself? Do you have any "me" time? We mothers understand that the idea of being able to have a full day, even hours, "off" from mommy-duty is very difficult. Many local churches (or your church, if you are active in a congregation) have "mom's day out" so you can know your child is cared for in a safe and supportive environment at a very low cost while you do something nice for yourself. Even one afternoon a week would be beneficial for you to explore what makes you feel good. Taking a walk, lunch with a friend, shopping. Just something that you feel is yours and that renews you. While I know your energy is very low and your are feeling discouraged right now, I really encourage you make this a priority for yourself. So, because you asked...I strongly encourage you to call your GYN TODAY, not tomorrow or the next day, but TODAY and schedule an appointment to let him/her know how you are doing, and to get some objective feedback from a professional that you trust. I also suggest that you utilize this website and other local mom's groups to find some companionship, a play group, etc. so that you can know that what you are going through is so common, so normal and that you are not an "awful parent". I support you throwing that thought right out the window. This affirmation might help: "I have been blessed with an amazing 11 month old little boy (your words). Each day I am committed to being the best parent I can be to this child, and each day I will do my best to ensure that he is happy, secure and supported. I am also committed to being a happy, secure and supported individual and recognize that this growth is a process. I am ALREADY a wonderful mother and my son is blessed to have me in his life". I wish you luck B.. Take care of yourself!

I think I agree with some of the other replies. Why isn't your mother-in-law offering to help instead of critizing?
Have you tried Bag Balm for the diaper rash. It always cleared my boys up over night. Protects their bottoms from yucky poo.

I have an 8 yr old and a 3 1/2 yr old. About 2 years ago, I was just screaming at them!! I felt horrible. I finally went on Zoloft and am much better. I know some people disagree, but I truly believe when women give birth, something freaky happens to our bodies and we have little to no patience. Also, make sure you sleep. I nap when I can. With a child your age, he probably still naps. I say nap when he does. A tired mom is a cranky mom/wife.

And is your husband working so you can live in a big house and have lots of money? I ask b/c most every woman I know who has a big house and lots of money, has a husband who travels. Most of them have said they would trade it all to have him home. They are also very stressed. Just an idea.

ok so i am not sure what to say about the amount of dirty diapers hes having but the rash may improve if u switch diapers. lets say u are using the store brand i would go try luvs first they are almost as cheap. after that i would try pampers then luvs. my youngest son was about 9 months old when i had to switch diaper brands. he just had this HORRIBLE rash and it was bleeding and so raw. i switched the diapers and bam it was like almost overnight it was improved enough so there was no bleeding. and with in a few days of rinsing his but instead of using wipes as to not irritate the rash further he was all better. now he just gets rashes like a normal baby.
he maybe gassy try the gas drops if u havent already. and some people are against using meds unless they are needed but if hes screaming then he probably is in pain somewhere so i would try just give him a dose of motrin. once if it works then i would only use it when u REALLY need it i personally dont like to do it but i have in desperate situations. chances are hes in pain if hes screaming and cant be comforted but if the motrin doesnt work then i wouldnt try it again. otherwise u just may need to go see the dr and have him checked out. my son once stayed up all night only slept for like 20 min at a time just enough to get energy back and start screaming again. this was at like 18 months took him to the dr and they said he had an ear infection and a slight case of bronchitis. so gave him some meds and he went to sleep immediatly after we got home and gave him his first dose along with some motrin.
good luck hang in there it will get better. and ignore nosey mother-in-law.

This sounds meaner than I intend, but it sounds to me like your son is sick of you. My kid and I go through that a lot. My husband has been overseas for over a year so it's been pretty much just me and my son for most of his 16mos. If you think about it, would you want to be around just one person every day for a really long time? I try to make sure that he gets time with other people whether it be through playgroups, neighbors, friends. Suddenly the fussy grumpy kid I had is now my sweet loving boy. Good luck!

You are not alone, I think every at home mom has felt that way. I was an at home mom for 8 yrs, it's the toughest job ever. It's mentally and physically draining and when you don't have the support from your spouse because he's gone working it's even more frustrating. First of all, you are not a bad parent for taking a second to collect yourself. That was a good thing to do there's nothing wrong with that. As far as the rash, if regular diaper rash ointment is not working it might be a yeast infection and the doctor can prescribe a cream or something. Good Luck!

HI, been there and it does make you crazy, but your not a bad mom. Sometimes you have to collect yourself before you do something you regret and that is ok. All three of my kids have gone through this and everytime it envolved teething.
I was lucky I had parents and siblings around and we would play pass the baby to try and keep nerves and aggrivation down to a minimum.
Keep your cool, your doing great!!!
K.

I think it is great you set your son down for a second to collect yourself...because if you don't you might regret it later. My Mother in law thinks I am a horrible Mom also because I work outside the home. She didn't have to when she was raising my husband. I just let my MIL comments go in one ear and out the other...my daughter and husband love me.

Hi B.! First of all, YES feeling that way is very normal and don't let anyone make you feel bad that you needed to put your son down to collect yourself for a few minutes. That is the best thing you can do for both of you when you're tired and begin feeling stressed. I think it's great that you've chosen to be a stay at home mom, but don't let that keep you from taking some time for yourself. If you can, find someone to watch your son for a few hours here and there so you can do something just for you. Take a nap, go shopping alone, read a book, whatever you enjoy doing. And don't feel guilty about it. It will make you a better mommy! Good luck.

B., It sounds like your son may have a food allergy causing his yucky diapers, rash, and wakefulness. It could most likely be cow's milk since he probably just started drinking it a couple months ago (has it been going on that long?)

I would suggest taking him off the milk for a week and see if that changes anything. In the grocery store ask for the rice milk. Try that for the week that you take him off regular milk. If you see improvement, then try Silk Soymilk. If he doesn't have a reaction to that then you can keep him on fortified soymilk (has more calcium and vitamins added to it than the rice). However, if he is allergic to soy then you will have to go back to rice. He could grow out of it in a couple years. (My son was 2.5 years old when he outgrew it). B., let me know how that goes. If it works, I can help find the foods that he can eat. ALOT of processed food has dairy in it. It is stressful to have to change the way you all eat in the house. But not as stressful as the crying, waking, and number of dirty diapers you are changing.

After you tackle what is causing your baby pain, then we can talk about handling your parent-relationship with your husband. I can relate. My husband is in the military. But there are things you both can do to balance work and family.

Best wishes!

HEY!! I am sorry but you are not a bad mom. we all nedd to stop and take a breather. I am sure she did it tooo. it is ok to let them cry for a little bite. ask her then to come over and help you so you can take a cat nap. if you all get along. or try calling a freind and ask if they could give you a hand.
Hang in there. maybe your husband can also say something to her. best wishes. you'll be ok

It is great that you realize that your own nerves are gone. Is there anyone (other than your mother-in-law) who could give you some help so you can have a few hours to do something for yourself? When my son had horrible diaper rash we switched back to all cotton diapers. We had the most luck with just the diaper and no plastic pants to get maximum air flow to the affected area. We also used washcloths and a gentle hypo-allergenic soap instead of wipes. This help alot and then went to the doctor and got a prescription cream. It turned out that he had a yeast infection. If the yucky diapers have been going on for a while you might need to see the doctor and be aware of dehydration. It takes a wise woman to know when to ask for help. So be wise and ask someone for help.

You've already recieved a lot of advice about what to do for your son's rash, so I'll just focus on you. Calm down, take a breath, remember that you are not required to be super woman (who didn't have kids) and quit blaming yourself. The only one who can really make you feel guilty is you, and you're the only one who can fix it. We all have to ignore snide remarks at some point.
You need a minute to yourself. If friends or relatives aren't an option and money is tight, ( I assume it is if your husband works 14 hours a day)try the YMCA. Mine has a day care center. For just two dollars she can stay there for two hours. She loves playing and I get to work out which is stress releiving. If getting some work done would relieve more stress, do that at a table in the common area. Whatever your business, I imagine there is some book keeping or research you can do a better job at with a bit of quiet. Two bucks is a small price for a bit of sanity and I'm sure your son will enjoy the company of other children.
Best of luck! Remember that you're not awful, just real. Who wants perfection anyway? All of my favorite people have "flaws" and quirks. Nobody wants to be raised by a robot!

it could be that he is trying to cut teeth and that's why he is so fussy . if his diapers are runny after your done cleaning him up get some pepto bismol and dab it on his bottom with a cotton ball and see if that doesn't help with the rash if that doesn't help try a yeast infection cream on the rash i went the this with my daughter and they also have these little tables out that are called teething tablet and they work great hope this works for you the other is that most wipes have some alcohol in them and that burns when the have a rash so try using just wet paper towels or a wash cloth

You are not a bad mom. I have been there many times. I have two babies that are 13 mo, apart and believe me there are time when they have both been bawling for 2 hours and I can not sooth them, and I am the only one home. My husband is in pre-med and is gone all of the time as well. I think that sometimes it is best if you take 5 to 10 min. to stop and take a couple of deep breaths. I have had to get my son entertained, and put my daughter in her bed where she cannot hurt herself and go to my closet or bathroom and just be alone. After I collect myself then I am ready for another round with the children. Think about it. Is it better to be frustrated and angry with your child because he cannot not be soothed. Or better to calm down and be able to love on them and comfort them. You are not a bad mother. You are doing the best you can and that is what matters. Your child is not going to suffer because you took a minute to calm down. He is going to benefit from it. Lastly if your mother-in-law has a problem with it tell her to take him for a little bit since she thinks that she is more qualified. I bet that after a little bit she will stop and not say those things to you any longer. Good luck.

With being a military wife, I had to deal with being with my kids a lot alone and didn't have any family around to help out with a break. Even now after he retired from the military he works 2nd shift and only sees the kids on Saturday mornings so I am still doing a lot of raising them on my own.
You are not a bad parent for putting your child down and taking a break. My daughter had colic for 5 months and she would cry everyday from 3:30-8 and sometimes I just couldn't take it and would put her in her crib where she was safe and go outside for a few minutes to breathe.
Try to encourage your baby to play alone--make sure his room is baby proofed and put up a baby gate and have him play in his room by himself. If he isn't used to being out of your sight you may have to start with 5-10 minutes, then after he gets used to that increase the time until you can have 30 min-an hour break. There is nothing wrong with doing that and he will learn some independence and figure out how to keep himself content. If you don't get him to do this early in life, when he becomes a teenager he will go around complaining he is bored because he won't know how to entertain himself and will continue to rely on you to come up with things for him to do. My kids are older now, 15, 13, and 8 and still like to have their alone time and the boys share a room so usually one will go to his room and the other will go to the family room to have their own space of quiet time. My daughter also likes to hang out in her room after school for about an hour before she is ready to be with the rest of the family activities. They don't seem to get bored but they also know that the word bored will get them extra house chores to do because there is always something to do around the house as housework is never ending.

As for the diaper rash, I used the select a size bounty paper towels and water instead of baby wipes and my kids were also allergic to Huggies diapers. I would fold the paper towels in half like a square size and had a bowl of water sitting by the changing table, you don't want it on the table as the baby may kick it over. The luvs diapers worked the best for them and not using baby wipes all the time plus the paper towels were a lot cheaper. After the rash cleared up we used the wipes for the diaper bag when we were out.
He may have a food allergy too and you may want to stick with rice cereal instead of any other baby foods until it clears up. Has he always had the bad diaper rash? It may be his milk causing it too.

B.,
As many have said you are not a bad mother. As for your mother-in-law, here give her your son and go do something for yourself.Instead of her running her mouth.
But as for his yukky diapers, find out why he is having so many BM's and when you change his diaper, run tipid water over his behind. Don't use wipes. After rinsing his behind very well, pat it dry, and let him run around for a bit without a diaper. When you put a diaper on him use vitimin E oil on his behind. It works wonders on mine when they were baby's and my grandbaby's.Plus what kind of diapers are you using on him?
Sometimes you might have to try a different one.

Oh honey you are so not going crazy!!! As a SAHM of 2 with a husband that is working crazy hours I totally understand what you are going through. It is totally normal. All I can tell you is, "this too shall pass..."
Hang in there and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. MIL's have a funny way of bugging the heck out of you! LOL
Setting a child down for a breather is tons better and safer than getting so frustrated you may do something to harm them or yourself. Crying never hurt anyone.
When you get this frazzled my advice would be to take a break. Whether it's going to a movie or going shopping by yourself, just take a break from your wonderful kiddo and when you get back it will be tons better. You'll be refreshed and ready to go!
Hope this helps and reassures you. There are tons of frazzled mommies out there!
A.

You are not going crazy I'm a sahm of a 1year old boy who at any moment is trying to get into what ever he can. As far as you being a bad parent for setting him down. dont worry your not. I do it all the time. The thing that I have found that works for me is laughing. I laugh at him when he is sitting on the floor crying and I just feel like I'm going to pull my hair out it really helps plus it is funny some of the faces they make when they are crying.. He stops shortley after he sees me laughing, he knows that it is silly to cry and he starts laughing at me laughing at him.. It will be ok just hang in there if you need more advise please write me if you need to..Good luck hang in there.. C.

Oh, my goodness, B.! You are NOT an awful parent - ignore your MIL! You are an amazing mother to be able to continue in this routine and then to ask for help! Your MIL should be offering to help for an hour and not offering her disdain.

Yes, your feelings are perfectly normal. I have a similar situation: My husband leaves in the morning before I am up. He comes home for about 5 minutes to change clothes, and then leaves again to work. He attempts to make it home in time to help me put the boys to bed - we have 3, ages 4 and under.

I have been taking an aerobics class to get out of the house for an hour twice a week, and when I skipped one night...I realized how important it is for me to get away from everything.

So, you need something to get you out, without DS, once or twice a week. Is there someone who can watch him? MIL maybe? Another family member? Neighbor? Teenager from church?

Try a physical activity to work off the stress, and you'll feel better. Or, maybe a church activity (many times they provide childcare during the activity).

And don't feel bad about setting him down in his crib so you can take 5 minutes ro yourself!

First of all, I'd tell your M-in-law that she's an awful Grandparent for not watching her grandchild more often. Maybe she should take him overnight once in a while. Your son needs to spend time with Grandma.

Second, are you part of the MOPS program (Mothers Of Preschoolers)? You can find the nearest on on-line. They are a life-saver and you'd be surprised by how many women share the same problems. So many Moms at MOPS say, "I thought I was the only one going through this".

Third, you CAN set your child down to collect yourself. Mommy needs a time-out too! Also, you need to get out and be with friends. Set a date for your husband to watch your son so you can get out. If you can't be with friends, just go get a pedicure! YOU DESERVE IT!

Forth, if you find yourself overwhelmed just a little "too much", make an appointment with your OB/GYN and see if Paxil might be something to take the edge off. Even if it's just for six months. I have four kids (ages 1, 3, 7 & 9) and I've had to turn to paxil once or twice after having them. I'm normally an 'emotional basket case' (I've been known to cry at touching commercials) ha-ha, and therefore get help when I need it.

Good Luck to you, my prayers are with you.
C.

B.,
You are normal, you are going through a lot right now. Everyone needs a break. Forget what the Mother-In-Law says, she is not there it sounds like. It is fine to set a crying baby down once you have met its basic needs. If he cannot crawl out of the bed or playpen I would let him cry a bit then go over console him or try to get him distracted playing with something he likes to do. I put myself in Mommy time out many times especially when I was stressed and frustrated. It is better to lay him down in a safe enviroment where he cannot hurt himself and go to your bedroom for 5-10 minutes to calm down and recupe yourself. I found I came out still tired but with a better attitude and less likely to explode emotionally and verbally at him, mine didn't deserve my bad attitude.
Do you have a Church that does a "Mom's day out"? That is where volunteers/workers will come in once a month or a week depending on the Church size and sit for a couple of hours with children for free or just a nominally fee. How about trading sitting time with a girlfriend who has a young one for an hour or so taking turns every other week. She watches your young one for a couple hours this week and your take your turn next week for an hour or two. This only works if you both take your turns and do your duty for an hour or two.
Hope you find something that helps.

B., calm down. It is quite normal for you to feel that way. It is very hard when you are home all day with baby and a sick baby at that. Your motherinlaw has called you an "awful Parent", but what has she done to assist you? Because you set your child down to collect yourself does not make you an awful parent. I have four children and if I held them each and everytime they cried, they would probably still be expecting me to pick them up. It is ok for you to put your baby in the playpen or in a safe environment while you collect yourself. People would say you were an "awful" parent if you "hurt" your child because you didn't collect yourself. Look at it this way..."my child is safe abd I have collected myself. so what if he cried for a few miniutes. if he goes to daycare, they will let him cry until he gets out of the habit of being held." I really hope this helps. oh, take your son to the doctor so that you can get a prescription to clear up his butt. maybe even switch to cloth diapers since it is warming up now.

Your MIL is wrong. If she's offended by you setting your son down maybe she'd be willing to volunteer babysitting so you could have a break??? (that is if you feel she's trustworth I guess)

I think the advice that it may be allergies is really good. My son's lactose intolerant!

Here are the best 3 pieces of advice given to me when I was a new mommy:

1) trust your instincts, listen to your baby, you'll do fine.
2) when you're at wit's end, set your baby in their crib/somewhere safe and go outside and water the garden, wash the dishes with the water running loud - set a time if you must. A baby's never been harmed from crying for 15 minutes! (my rule is 2 minutes for every month old)
3) dress him in the CUTEST outfit you own - you won't be able to help but enjoy him more when he's ridiculously adorable. If that means Sunday best on Tuesday, so be it.

I hope that helps you too. Hang in there and try to find some time for yourself even if it means an extra 5 minutes in the shower!

T.

Oh, for the diaper rash - the weather's warming up... you might let him "air out" a little. Put sandals or water shoes on him and let him run around in the back yard with only a t-shirt on. A little sunshine and fresh air may help that little butt.

I have been there. Is there anyone who can come and watch your little boy while you get a few hours away, even if it's to just run to the store? Shame on your mil for telling you that your an awful parent. As long as he is in no danger, sometimes you need those few moments to collect yourself so that you don't do something that you regret. I hope that he gets better soon and you can both get out of the house.

I know how you feel. I've been married 20 years and have 5 kids--ages 17,14,11 and 3-year-old twin girls. All our married life, my husband has had crazy hours--he's been a cop, a paramedic and is now a fireman, so his shifts are 24 hours on duty and 48 off. We are needing some money for a new car, so he has signed up for 12 hour shifts of overtime on an ambulance every single day off in between his 24 hour shifts for the next month. So when he's home for 12 hours or so, he is usually sleeping, or spending time getting ready for work. It's very hard not to get bitter and cranky. I can imagine all you want is a break and some time to yourself. That's normal, don't worry. I constantly feel pulled in too many directions and feel the guilt of not getting what needs to be done accomplished that day. I get annoyed with the constant interruptions, I feel like I can't even complete a thought sometimes. The advice I have is to realize since there is nothing you can do about your husband being gone right now, just try to keep a smile on your face. Do something silly with your little guy--put on some music and dance, draw a picture, play a game. It takes energy that you might think you don't have left in you, but it will inspire you. Your good mood might transfer to him and soon he will feel better and that will keep your mood up. Take him for a walk, look at the flowers blooming, teach him a new word--anything that might inspire you to remember how valuable this time is with your child. If you need to put him down to gather yourself, or collect your spirit, it does not make you an awful parent. The awful parent is the one who takes it out on the kid-who has no idea why you are stressed out. Maybe your mother-in-law could give you a break and take care of him while you go out for a couple hours instead of being critical. Be yourself, have fun and soon maybe you'll get some relief. Good luck, and take care!

First of all - Tell your mother in law to take a hike to put it nicely. Secondly - Is he on some kind of medication that caused the diaper rash? If so he may have a yeast infection which he will need to go to the doctor for. You might also try giving him a baking soda/butter milk bath. If he will sit in the kitchen sink that is the easiest place so you dont use as much of the stuff and its a lot less to clean up. It will help lessen the PH on his behind from the rash. Have you talked to his doctor at all? My son who is now 3 would always act unnormal when he was not feeling well. Usually it was an ear infection or strep throat. Now that he is older he wont tell me he does not feel good, he just does things he knows will get him into trouble and I can usually tell by his behvior that something is not right. Also have you given him any new food lately that could be hurting his little tummy? Or maybe he is teething. I would definantly talk to his doc if you have not already. And as far as you mother in law dont let it get to you. You are abviously NOT a bad mother if you are asking for help with you son. Everyone gets tired and needs a break sometimes.

Don't let anyone tell you that you are an awful mom. I'm really sorry that she said that to you. It is absolutely ok to take a break and gather yourself together. Your son will be fine if he is in a safe place while you get yourself together. It is much better for your son to have you take some time to do this than to see you all stressed out. You will be better able to handle whatever comes your way when you are more calm.

It sounds like you need some time to yourself. Working full time and being a full time mom can be very stressful. Is there someone (maybe other than your mother in law) who can watch your son while you take some time to go and do what you want to do (maybe a babysitter)? Even something like taking a walk by yourself, running errands by yourself, meeting up with a friend, etc. can have a huge impact on relieving your stress level. Many moms feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but you will actually be better for your son if you do take care of yourself--less stressed, more calm, happier.

This can take some getting used to is you are not used to doing things for yourself, but I think it is crucial to staying sane.

Also, now that it is getting nice out, can you guys get out of the house more? I'm sure in the KC area there are play groups or other fun outings you and your son can do.

I'm not sure what your financial situation is, but maybe your son could go to a good child development center for 2 or 3 days a week. This would give you some time to focus on your business those days and also give him some time to be social with other kids his age. If not now, I know after age 2 day cares are usually cheaper.

Best wishes! C.

Your mother-in-law is wrong. It is better for you to set your son down for a few minutes (where he is safe and can't get hurt) than to stay and potentially hurt him. Removing yourself from his presence and collecting yourself for 5-10 minutes will help in the long run and he'll be fine. A little crying never hurt anyone. Hang in there, it won't always be this hard.

I don't see how you could be any more normal. Get some alone time - I know easier said than done, but try... even if you do have to leave him with that crazy MIL for a few hours - he'll be fine & you'll be refreshed when you return. Hang in there. My daughter is almost 3 and it's hard to imagine, but you're going to miss this age sooner than you think. Try going outside & blowing bubbles or a warm bath ... him or you, I'm not sure :)
You're in my thoughts.
L.

First of all don't listen to your mother in law. Putting your son down somewhere safe like his crib or play pen and walking out of the room for a few minutes when you are stressed is the BEST thing you can do for both of you. 5-10 minutes alone is not going to damaged him and it will do wonders for you. When you go back in you will have so much more patience. I not you could end up yelling at him or worse. I have three boys and my husband is in the military so I am on my own if them all the time. Uncle Sam doesn't stop for ear infections or pneumonia. Leaving the room is some of the best advice my mother ever gave me.

I have two boys ages 3 & 1 1/2 and I feel like this everyday at one time or another. ( : TOTALLY NORMAL. It can only become a problem if you feel like you are going to harm yourself or your baby. If those thoughts cross your mind talk to your doctor immediately. You have every right to put your son down and walk away. If there was one thing I remember from baby class they said if you are overwhelmed and the baby is crying put the baby in his crib and take a time out. Don't worry about the baby crying. He will be just FINE if he is safe in his crib for a few minutes. It gives each of you time to cool down and collect yourselves. SHAME on your mother-in-law for saying you are a bad parent! Tell her I said so! The professionals all agree you are doing the right thing by putting him down. Babies are shaken by people who don't do what you are doing. Not that you would ever do that but it happens to some people.
ALSO, if you don't belong already...you MUST find a play group. I waited until my son was 8 months old because I thought he was too young. Little did I know it was more for the mothers. I should have joined immediately when he was a newborn. I was so lonely, overwhelmed and depressed until I meet the other moms! They are a great support system! You are a WONDERFUL mother. Keep up the good work!

It sounds like your mother-in-law is an awful parent if she can't support her daughter-in-law going through this. Of course its normal. If I were you I'd find a sitter to come over for a couple hours a couple of times during the week, at least until your husband can offer you some relief. You can go out for coffee or even just a peaceful trip to the grocery store. Its worth it to pay for a few hours of sanity.

I agree with every mom here. My best advice.
1. Stop talking to your MIL unless she is helping you.
2. Gas drops (walmart brand is cheaper) will help with an upset stomach-Yucky diaper mean tummy trouble. Discuss with doctor at next visit.
3. Wash his bottom at every change and use A&D ointment. It heals and protects-The best stuff for a rash available!
4. Take time for yourself-all the suggestions given will give you some good ideals.
5. Don't feel guilty about putting your baby down. They need to learn to entertain themselves. Put him in the crib with a few toys and you do what you need to do to deal with the pressure.
It will get better!
J.

Not crazy B. your a mom so there is alot of things YOU think you must do to be a good Mom. ;) I forgot to say Good morning!! I am a MIL and I know what tired is, and I would never EVER tell one of my DIL's they were bad for leaving their child for a moment to regroup. I watch our oldest son's 2 children daily while they work. Oldest was 3 in March youngest is 6 months. I have 3 other Gr kids also, 8,7,3. I tell my gr kids Nana needs "Time out" or "Quite Time"
The other Moms advice was excellent in regards to doing something for you. Your little fella is young yet, so here is something I enjoyed doing when the 3 yr old was younger. I took him to like Barnes & Noble or Border's, put him in an umbrella stroller and walked around there. Had coffee, went to the play area they have and let him touch trains and other things they had there. Go to an Art Museum and walk around, they will enjoy the bright colors and the quite there. Tell him about the pictures you see there. He won't understand but Momma is talking to him and he loves your voice.

If you have a baby swing our little guy liked to swing and watch Baby Einstein DVDs. He still does, but now he sits on his little fold out couch, while his baby brother swings.

On the diaper rash issue. Is he drinking Apple Juice? If so you may want to change to pear juice, it is a thicker juice (more fiber)and not as acidic. We had to do this with the 3 yr old also, had terrible runny poop and his little hinny was so blistered we sometimes just sat him in the bathtub in warm water to clean him off. We tried Boudreaux's Butt Paste :) Desitin, vaseline, powder. The Nurse told us to make sure he was good and dry before re diapering him, then to put on powder or the creams. It is silly but I sat there fanning his hinny or held him in front of a small fan ;)

Your a great Momma and don't let anyone tell you different.
Wanna be adopted *smiling* I'm a pretty good MIL!
In His Amazing Grace
K. aka Nana

First of all- Shame on your mom-in-law. If she was any kind of parent herself she would be supporting you, not knocking you down.
Second- Being a parent is hard work and being smart enough to put your baby down when you are about to lose it is a GOOD thing not a bad thing. And YES, WE ALL LOSE IT SOMETIMES. If anyone tells you otherwise they are lying.
Take a deep breath and give yourself a break.
My husband works for an ambulance service and is gone 24+ hours at a time (works 24 on and 48 off). I have four kids and it gets crazy. I, however, have a wonderful mother-in-law, and while she does get on my nerves occasionally, she is very helpful and supportive.
Find something to help you calm down...music, candles, maybe reading a book, or singing to your son...whatever works. Let the chores go right now, they will be there later...focus on you and your child.
And tell your mom-in-law to be helpful or leave you alone. You are a great mom. You thought enough to ask for help, you put your son down when you were overwhelmed...just hang in there and keep loving that baby boy.

Girl, if you don't take a break you will be one of those moms that you read about that shake there kid. I know I remember what that was like and I totally comprehended(sp) that feeling when my daughter was little. She didnt sleep I worked full time and my husband had long days as yours does. Your mother-in-law is crappy for even saying that to you and not offering you help in your time of need!!! Never feel bad about putting your child down to catch a breath! Also remember to ask for help when you need though as well!!

B.,

Every mom has felt this way and it sounds like you have a lot going on. Take the time to get yourself collected when you feel stressed. If he cries for a bit while you collect yourself its ok. It is better to take a few seconds than to snap. I like to sing. Sometimes this is my saving grace when I feel frustrated. I don't even have to sing real songs just words, like "mommies going to change that yucky diaper then get you a new one". There's just something about the calming affect of music...your little guy might like it too. I would say this is a good time to call a friend or someone who can watch your son for an hour or two while you just go do something else, maybe the park. Take a minute to relax. If you don't already then start taking naps when you son does. This will help...sleep always helps, especially if you've been up nights. As for your new business, I'm going to assume its some type of home base business like Pampered Chef or Mary Kay. If so, make sure you block out your day. Create a routine that encompasses your new business. Remember you went into this business so you can stay home, so work your business, and don’t let it work you. Know exactly when you are going to do your office hours and then stop working when they are over. It is easy to let a new business cause extra stress but, your family is the most important thing. Talk to your upline and get advice about how to time manage family and your new business or talk to others who have a business from home. Take a minute to organize your life so you can take each day at a time instead of worrying about everything. Write down all the things that need to get done in the month of May. Then block out each week and place each item in a certain week of May. Then divide the week in to six days and categorize the items into on of the six days. Select ten of your favorite and easiest meals then rotate them throughout the month. Now you know what you have to do each day and what meals to prepare. That takes out a lot of stress, at least for me it does, to know what you are doing each day. Now make sure each day has one hour of complete down time. Maybe you could read a good book or take a walk. This could be done during your son's nap time, before he wakes up or after he has gone to bed. Make sure one hour of each day is spent playing with your son. You can break it up through out...this time does not include bathing or feeding, it's just fun time. Depending on when your hubby gets home spend one hour with him or at least thirty minutes to just catch up. If possible avoid using this time to vent. Make sure you ask about his day too. Or just use this as a time to enjoy coffee on the back porch or candles in the bedroom…find the energy it would be worth it. Always remember to ask for help if you need it. I'm sure you are a fantastic mom, just a little stressed at the moment. Remember that each day is a new day with no mistakes. Every day will get better. You'll find your routine and your son won't feel sick all the time. Regardless of how hard this may feel it is still just a moment in your life that years from now you may not even remember. Cry when you need to cry, laugh when you need to laugh, sing, be silly just because. Look at your little boy and remember how much you love him. Write down all the silly thing he's starting to do. Look at your hubby and know that he doesn't like to see you upset but, that life maybe hard for him too. Bind together as a family and love each other through this stressful time. Saying a prayer for you.

F. S.
Discovery Toys Mom
____@____.com

Congratulations! You are a normal Mom!
Listen, I feel you. We all have those moments and it is
brutal and exhausting and nobody seems to understand.
My son has been really sick since Sunday with strep throat
and a really bad rash. He's a toddler and hasn't quite
managed language skills yet so he's basically screamed and
yelled at me for 4 days, has been up several times a night
and has pretty much been monstrous to deal with during the
day! And I have gotten annoyed with him, too. It happens
to all of us at one time or another and it's pretty guilt-
inducing, isn't it? But it's okay, and it's normal and it
doesn't mean you are a bad parent or that you don't love
your baby. We're only human and when our children are
sick we feel so damn helpless and clueless sometimes. It's
hard, I know it is. Your M-I-L needs to butt out and
button up her lips, too. It blows my mind to think that
someone could say that to you, but there are all kinds of
people out there.
Has your baby been to the doc about his rash? Sometimes it
isn't just a "diaper rash". It could be a yeast infection.
Boys get them too, as I have found out with my son!
Hang in there. You'll get through this.

OMG! I can't believe your Mother-in-law said that! If she thinks it's so easy why doesn't she bother to help?!
She could take the little guy off your hands for a while so you could have some "ME" time. Soak in a bath, take a nap, anything to relax and regain your composure.
My oldest one had colic (sp) and I would have pulled all my hair out if my mom had not helped me out.
Let her know that you would appreciate any help she has to offer (besides the snide remarks)!

Will your mother in law babysit to give you a break? How about trips to the park, pool or playground so other moms and kids can have support from each other. I live in pinckneyville and would love to babysit or I can give you a few names of sitters that will give you a break and your son some play buddies. I have friends who have small little ones, they are stay at home moms but they send their kids a couple days a week to sitters so they can be social and interact with kids. Hang in there, you are doing a great job..being a mom is the hardest job ever..but has the best rewards ever too. my name is C. pyatt when you get overwelmed call me ###-###-####. God Bless. C.

well brook girl let me tell you i know where your coming from, let me tell you. I got a lil boy he's turning 2 on june. and i have a 3 and a half month old. my 3 month old has the strep viris. and he is not sleeping at nights and all he been doing is crying i had to put him down a few times and walk out to keep from stressing to bad and i started worring i was awful and my friend told me to type shaken baby syndrome in and browse on it, to see how many parents wished they took a min. and let me tell you tha scared me enough to not care what they thought. it dont hurt them and everyone needs a min to calm. so i think you are doing a good job putting him down a min. so keep your head up it does get better.

B.,
First you are not a bad mother for sitting your son down for a second. Right now you are under a lot of stress ( I don't think Job could have had enough patience for this). Take your son to the doctor. There are some types of diaper rash that don't respond to over the counter diaper rash cures. It's possible that you may require a prescription ointment to take care of the diaper rash. Next you can't hold him 24 hours a day; if you do they will cry every time you sit them down. It doesn't hurt to let them cry for a little while. I admire you for starting a home business so you can be a stay at home Mommy. Just take your baby to the doctor and ignore your mother-in-law. She should admire you. Just remember you are a great Mom !!!!!!!!!!!!!And you're not going crazy.
J. J.