How to Stop Co_Sleeping.

When she crawls into bed with you, take her back to her bed. Its going to take a few nights but start asap, dont give into her, she'll get it quickly enough. Good luck!

Is the toddler bed big enough for you to snuggle down with her? Perhaps that can help her associate happy sleep time with her bed. If it's not big enough, maybe get a twin bed mattress and put that on the floor - big enough for both of you, low enough not to fall out of. Then, if you fall asleep, you're both comfortable, and daddy's arm will be ok. I did this with my son, who is now a little over 3. It's worked pretty well, and easier on me. Good luck!

Start her off in her bed. And tell her she has to stay there and mean it. Give her rewards when she sleep in her bed. When she get in bed with you. Put her back in her bed. When the baby bed comes. Keep her in the day bed. She is old enought for the day bed. That way you won't have to be trying to get her to sleep in the day bed again. Good luck!

you can have fast or you can have easy, hon. it sounds as if you need fast. that means resign yourself to no sweet-as-peaches (a phrase i adore and am stealing) for a few days. but it sounds as if slow and easy won't do your poor old dh much good.
get a good bedtime routine (you probably have at least a partial one already in place), and plan to re-enter when she howls. and she will howl. keep it very minimal when you go in, just pop her back in bed, rub her back, but don't read or talk or plead or engage in any way. don't even make eye contact. stay with her until she's quiet, then leave quietly.
repeat until you are ready to stab yourself in the eyeball with a dull fork.
have a glass of wine, a hot bubbly bath, and tell your dh he owes you a spa day when he's all fixed.
good luck!
:) khairete
S.

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We had to transition with all of ours eventually... they were just too wiggly and while it helped mom get sleep at first after awhile it worked in the opposite direction...so off to bed baby goes :)

The best thing I can tell you is to start going through a bedtime routine:

Make her bed a special place with pretty sheets and talk about how lovely and beautiful it is...chances are she'll, "play" going to sleep earlier in the day.

Brush teeth
PJs
Read story (or two :)
Tell her its bedtime and pick her up or hold her hand and walk her to her bed.
Now its time to sing and pray.
Say good night, give a kiss, turn off the light and leave.

If she heads elsewhere, put her back and explain to her that she is to sleep in her bed....Just keep putting her back...

Chances are she'll stay, but if you are consistent (even though it is a pain...take a nap earlier in the day so that you aren't tired when you start this routine) After a few days she'll (God willing!) catch on.

First, no one should ever say "I told you so". Co-sleeping is not a horrible thing. If you don't want the fight, this will not be an easy fix. We are co-sleepers & are working on getting our youngest in her own bed. In Feb. '09 my husband was in a car accident that didn't allow for DD to sleep with us. We made a small pallet of blankets on our floor & I stayed with her til she fell asleep. Slowly we got her in her own bed. I still stay with her for a little while, but that time is much shorter now. If I don't, I am constantly putting her back to bed & that can last for an hour or more. My opinion is that night time shouldn't be a fight. If I sit with her for 5 or so minutes and rub her feet or back, she stays in bed. So, for me, what's a few minutes of my time to give her a peace night's rest. It's just a no-brainer for me. So, it just depends on how fast you want this to happen. It can be done gently. You will get lots of different opinions on how to do this. Only you & your husband can decide which way is best for your daughter.
Good luck.

HI P.,

I think you need to take a "Tom Sawyer" approach. She needs to see it as something she wants to do as a "big girl." Are there any friends that she knows that sleep in their own bed? Maybe an older cousin that she loves? Three is a pretty big milestone and you can use her upcoming birthday as a point. I was in the same situation and my youngest moved out on her own when she felt cramped. I think I forced that cramped issue, hehe......She'd tell me to move over and I'd say...I'm sorry honey, Mommy needs the room, if you're cramped I don't mind if you want to sleep in your own bed...and I'd roll over. She got that enough that she finally just moved out.

You could force the issue and get a fight, but I always say pick your battles. I think this one can be won without anyone knowing there was a problem.

God bless,

M.

The House Fairy worked for us to get our daughter to keep her room clean so maybe you could tell her that there will be a special surprise for her if she sleeps in her bed all night long and is a Big Girl. But she has to stay in the bed all night or no surprise. You could say Santa will bring it early, the House Fairy will, or you could give it to her yourself.

Then go to the dollar store and get 7 little surprises. You can leave them at the bottom of her bed or under her pillow or out in the family room in a special place.

When you reward good behavior kids will decide on their own to do it. Since she's young, little surprises should be fun for her.

If you let her think it is her idea to do it, then it should be sweet as peaches for both of you!

Rewards have always worked for us so much better than punishments or talking about it. All humans love rewards, we wouldn't go to work at all if we didn't get some money or some kind of reward!

Good luck!

When we transitioned our 2 year old into her own bed we skipped the toddler bed and used a single instead. This way I could lay with her in her bed as needed to help her get used to it and feel comfortable their.This did mean laying with her until she fell asleep (we read a story and then I sing her to sleep) and if she cried out for me in the middle of the night I went in to her room and laid with her until she fell asleep again. It wasn't an instant transition and did take a little while but we were able to successfully transition her with no tears and no fight at all. It doesn't HAVE to be a power struggle. It can be done gently and lovingly if you are just patient and understanding with her and realize that big changes take time with a small child. Their minds don't rationalize things like we do. She needs to be taught that she can feel just as happy and content in her own room as she does in your bed and that if for some reason she is afraid in the middle of the night that you will still be there for her just like you are when she is with you your bed. She will be 4 tomorrow. We do still read her a story and sing her to sleep but we as a family are okay with that. Other wise she happily sleeps in her own room, in her own bed.

I don't know if you there's a way to make her think it was her own idea or something fun or funny about it--but that's the trick to getting my 3 year old to do just about anything. When we wanted to transition him to a toddler bed and he didn't want to I told him that it was okay, I bought the bed for our dog and it was the dog's new bed (and the dog very happily crawled in)--that's all it took for my son to claim it and sleep in it without any fight :).

Gosh, what a really tough situation to be in. Our three year old still sleeps in our room, but in a toddler bed next to us. If I were you, and you can afford it, I would buy a bigger mattress and sleep with her on it on the ground for a while, until she gets used to it. Then you could move back to the bed with your husband. In my mind I would have a hard time forcing my child to change their sleep habits so drastically, but I am really sensitive to things like this with my kids.

I really hope that no one gives you 'I told you so's'. Each family must do what works for them.

I don't know a quick, painless way. It sounds like whatever you do it might involve your daughter crying a bit and both parents sticking to the plan.

I would really work on making this a positive experience. Make her a chart that she can color in so that each night she sleeps in her bed she gets positive reinforcement. At the end of a predetermined amount of time, have her earn a small toy. You may need to increase the time and provide additional toys at the end of those periods.

Make sure she has a routine that is well establish. Bath, brush teeth, read a couple of books, a kiss good night, a saying a prayer, etc.... and then here is the hard part...leave the room. You will probably have to march her back many times. Remind her that she will get to fill in her chart if she can do this. You may need to establish how many times she can get out of her room, perhaps a chart again and work yourself down.

Good luck, not fun but it sounds like a necessity.

I don't have any advice. I'm sure screams and cries are going to be involved no matter what you do. Sometimes there is no helping them from stomping their feet in protest. All I can say is, hang in there. It will pass quick.

I would not start the habit of you staying with her in her bed until she falls asleep because that will start a whole other issue you will have to deal with later as well. We never started the co-sleeping, so I don't know what to say on that subject, but we did have to do the "Super Nanny" method for some separation anxiety at night when that came around. We had converted my daughter's crib to a day bed so she was able to get out but we were getting ready to go to big girl bed soon (she is now 2.5 and has been in a queen sized bed, which she loves, for quite awhile now) during the time she was in the day bed she started having the sep. anxiety so what we did was all the normal bedtime routine(books, snuggle time with songs) then turn out the lights say goodnight and at first stayed close to her with back turned and if she got up would say one time it is bedtime and put her back in then no words and just if she got up kept putting her back in bed. Each night same routine just moving closer and closer toward the door until one night you won't be in there. I think it only took about a week for it to work. Even now she will throw a small fit when I leave the room, but it is over in a few minutes then she gets in bed and goes to sleep. Good luck with what you decide to do and hang in there.

No I told you so here- still struggling with a 4 yr old but seeing the light from following the simple advice of my pediatrician. Start her off in her bed. Each time she wakes and comes in to you, get up, walk her back to her bed, kiss and say goodnight and walk back out. Very quiet and very calm regardless of her behavior. I have been doing this for the last week or so and it is working. He doesn't like it but he has been sleeping longer and longer. I have been exhausted from having to get up (because of course it is much easier to let them crawl in) but I am starting to get better longer increments of sleep- You can do it! You will be greatly rewarded as we have been!

I've coslept with all 3 of mine and it's cosy for them so no worries. The way we gently nudged them out was by putting the toddler bed right next to ours so you can reach out and hold hands, stroke her back etc. Then after a couple months or whatever of that you can move it into her own room. Good luck! You could also explain that when she creeps in in the morning she needs to come on your side so she doesn't bump his arm.

Just explain to her that the doctor says daddy and mommy need to sleep alone and she now needs to sleep on her big girl bed. Tell her it is because daddy is really hurt and needs the space in his own bed.

Then let her help you get her bed and room all set up. sheets, night light
(if needed) , sound machine or Book on CD. Begin a really good sleep routine. Really nice quiet bath, jammies. tuck in bed, read some stories, a kiss, a lovey and then a good night.

If she gets out of bed, walk her back to her own room. Explain that it is bed time and she needs to sleep in her own room, because you know she does not want to hurt daddy while sleeping..

The goal is she needs to learn to go to sleep in her own room. Not in a another room and be carried in..

Some people suggest a sleeping bag on the floor of your room next to your bed, but I would imagine just starting her off in her own bed would be more direct.

Expect some crying, so you can make it through the night. Or nights. No matter how many times, you must take her back.
I am sending you strength. I am also sending your husband healing thoughts.

Keep doing what you are doing, except put her back in her bed when she comes into yours in the middle of the night.

We co-slept with our oldest until he was a little over 2 1/2, so no regrets, no judgments...sometimes you just do what you have to do to get some sleep! When he first started sleeping in his toddler bed, I would lie down with him until he fell asleep. Once he would sleep in his bed, we started the process of getting him to sleep on his own. For a few nights, I would sit by his bed and hold his hand until he would go to sleep. For the next few nights, I would sit by the bed with my back against the bed, not touching him. Then I sat across the room for a few nights, then by the door, then on the other side of the door. Then finally I could just tuck him in (with a few books for him to read) and he would put himself to sleep. It was obviously a very gradual process, but it worked well for us without a lot of crying (which was a very good thing since he shared a room with his then baby sister who always preferred her crib to our bed). I also made a sticker chart during this time, so that he got a sticker in the morning if he went to sleep on his own the night before. We did two charts, and then he didn't need another one (we also used the sticker chart for pooping on the potty when the time came).

Good luck, and stop feeling guilty because you co-slept with your child! :)

We co-slept with both of ours, until they were 2 1/2 or 3. We're lucky to have extra space in our bedroom, so we have a twin-sized bed in the corner, for our youngest (our oldest transitioned to her own room at around 5).

If she's insistent on staying in your room, perhaps you can put her mattress, or a blow-up bed on the floor next to your bed, and explain to her that Daddy has a VERY bad owie (kids know ALL about owies), and that if she sleeps in your bed, it will hurt Daddy's owie, but she can stay right here on her bed. If she wakes and wants to come in your bed, try whispering a reminder about Daddy's owie, and tell her to put her head back down (or walk her back to her bed, whichever is the case).

Best wishes and luck, and remember: kids are only little once, and like they say with potty training (she isn't going to go to kindergarten in diapers), except in this situation, you aren't going to end up with a teenager in your bed. ;-)

We put a TV and VCR in our son's room and that has worked really well. He watches his movie at night before bed and usually falls asleep watching it. We do let him know that he can come in our room if he wakes up scared, but we would really like for him to try to sleep in his own bed.

He does really well, because he knows he has us to fall on, but he really tries and sleeps almost the whole night in his own bed. We have told him numerous times if he needs to come to our bed, then he needs to be extremely quiet. Don't wake up and cry for us, just come and crawl into our bed...quietly! And, he does. Several times we've woke up with him in our bed and had no idea how long he had been there.

So, why not just tell your daughter, that if she has to sleep with you, she needs to snuggle mommy right now and tell her to stay on the edge of the bed far away from daddy, until his arm heals. She'll listen if you are straight with her. But try the movie in her room, it really works wonders!

Updated

We put a TV and VCR in our son's room and that has worked really well. He watches his movie at night before bed and usually falls asleep watching it. We do let him know that he can come in our room if he wakes up scared, but we would really like for him to try to sleep in his own bed.

He does really well, because he knows he has us to fall on, but he really tries and sleeps almost the whole night in his own bed. We have told him numerous times if he needs to come to our bed, then he needs to be extremely quiet. Don't wake up and cry for us, just come and crawl into our bed...quietly! And, he does. Several times we've woke up with him in our bed and had no idea how long he had been there.

So, why not just tell your daughter, that if she has to sleep with you, she needs to snuggle mommy right now and tell her to stay on the edge of the bed far away from daddy, until his arm heals. She'll listen if you are straight with her. But try the movie in her room, it really works wonders!

Here are some ideas on sleep and a link with details:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/01/09/...
# Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
# Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
# The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night.  Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
# Start them young – do not ignore the im

Updated

Here are some ideas on sleeping that may help with a link with more info:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/01/09/...
# Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
# Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.

put a baby gate up at her bedroom door, put her in there, and don't give in. she's gonna fight you for a few nights, but if this is what you want, don't give in to her tantrums. hope your husband's surgery goes well and he's feeling better soon.

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