Crying It Out - Sugar Land,TX

Updated on February 22, 2011
M.L. asks from Sugar Land, TX
12 answers

We have a almost 10 month old who has been very sick since about 4 months which he has slept with us since then. I feel like it is time to move to his crib which is also in our room. I don't know if I can do the crying out thing. He is my third and last baby. I work full time and he is the most gentle easy going baby. With all the sickness he has been through he toughed it out like a trooper with hardly any complaints. I know we need to move him over to his bed but I haven't. Since Novemeber he has been on and off the breathing machine for wheezing. He had a real hard winter and has been sick about every 3 weeks. We are now on about a two week stretch of feeling great which is wonderful for him. Any advice on co-sleeping has anyone else done this and was able to move back to the crib or their own bed? He goes down easy every night but I know he is going to know when I put him back to his bed. This is easier for me too. He has 3 year old brother in the other room and I don't want to wake him in the process.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everybody for your input. I am going to keep him with me until it doesn't work anymore we are happy as is and he won't be little forever and I will look back knowing how wonderful it was to have him sleep with me and be so close. We will eventually make it to his own bed sooner or later.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

If co-sleeping is working and everyone is getting sleep - - why rock the boat?

I bed-shared with my 1st - she's 5 y/o and I'm pregnant with #2. She knows that she will be in her own room and bed by the time baby is born and is old enough to have wanted her privacy.

I love bed-sharing, have no problems with intimacy with my spouse and have never been sleep deprived due to a whiny, crying or upset child.

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E.B.

answers from New York on

I co-slept with my son since birth. When baby #2 came he was 18 months old and I did not want to wake him when I nursed my newborn. A great solution we found was to purchase 2 twin size mattresses and put them side by side on the floor of his room, now my husband sleeps on one and my oldest son (now 2.5 years) sleeps on the other.
They both have their own "bed" but co-sleep at the same time.

Since your baby is only 10 months, I would remove one side of his crib and place it up against your bed. It will be his own "bed" and space, you will be right next to him and you will all sleep much better.

Don't rush to give up co-sleeping, they grow too fast and every second with your kids is too precious : )

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like co-sleeping is the perfect situation until you feel confident he'll be better for a while. You'll both actually sleep better. The transition to their own bed is always interesting! My daughter loved her crib from 8 weeks, and since 2 has slept with us... and I think she's needed it. Do what works and what you need to now. The transition will work out when it's time. Glad to hear he's feeling better.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

Neither of my kids ever really slept in a crib. (It just never really worked for us.) We co-slept with our now 4 1/2 year old until he was about 2. When he was 18 months or so, we started him in his own bed everynight. If he came to our bed in the middle of the night, we just picked him up and put him between us. Around the age of 2 he decided to sleep in his bed. It was his decision. My 2 year old is the same way. He starts off every night in his own bed. Some nights he joins us, some nights he doesn't.

If you want to co-sleep, there's nothing wrong with that. The time to stop co-sleeping is when someone is unhappy with it. Enjoy the snuggles when they're little. I can't believe how much I miss it.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Sounds like your son is doing great with co-sleeping. If I were you I'd keep it up for as long as it works. When he's old enough to understand that he's moving to his big boy bed with his brother, then he'll be old enough for a little CIO. Perhaps another year and a half.

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D.C.

answers from College Station on

I found a process which worked for me and my baby (they're 16, 11, and 9 now LOL). It's a little long to describe in detail here.

It involved slowly getting my baby used to me laying him down to sleep and stepping a little further and then a little further away while he fell into a deeper sleep.

I, too, did the co-sleeping and it was great. I really loved being able to know with just a touch that my baby was still breathing or that he was starting to get restless. :)

I can go on via a private message, if you would like.

-D.

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C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Don't fix something that isn't broke right? My daughter co-slept with me for a long time then moved back to her crib.. she sleeps with me again now but it gets her to bed early and she sleeps through the night... it works so I don't move her back to her bed. They grow out of it, I don't know any older kids that want to sleep with their parent every night :P I would let him sleep with you especially if he goes down easy every night. If it's easier for both of you, sounds like a win-win to keep him with you. I agree with other posts that the time to stop co-sleepin is when someone is uncomfortable with it.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I co-slept until my kids were just a little over a year old with each of them. They transitioned just fine to a crib and just fine to a toddler bed around 2 years old.

We haven't had any problems at all! Well, my 5 year old only just recently tries to come and sleep with us, but we send him back.

If you are still wanting to co=sleep then go ahead and do it for another few months, so long as he is able to fall asleep on his own, nap in his crib and self sooth as well. The crying it out is good for him at his age, as he learns to soothe and independence. Just if he is hysterical, go in obviously.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

No wonder you had him with you! You mentioned he was on a breathing machine-now off-did you get to the heart of his problem? Has it been resolved? May it reoccur? If your answers are yes, yes and no-then I think you may be able to condition him to his crib. He has to go to bed awake and figure out how to get himself to sleep and if he wakes during the night he needs to learn how to get back to sleep. He's going to cry-it's very difficult-but will only get more difficult the older he gets. Put the three year old in another room for the time being-it may only take three nights-mor or less-and do this for nap time , as well. Good luck! It is easier than putting a teenager behind the wheel of a car.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

We co-slept by necessity cause we were moving around a lot when my son was little. I went right from a cradle to a twin bed on the floor. That way, he was safe and comfortable, and if I fell asleep getting him back to bed, I was comfortable as well. If there is room for a small mattress in your room or in the other room, perhaps that would be a helpful transition.

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M.X.

answers from Chicago on

Just a warning- watch out for moms who will lecture you on how crying it out is cruel and heartless and call you the same. Moms on this site do not hesitate to use harsh accusatory words on such controversial topics, so be warned.

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K.D.

answers from Houston on

Can you scoot the baby's crib up next to your bed, and take off the side of the crib next to the bed? If so, you can work out a better co-sleeping arrangement. Baby will be in his own bed, next to your bed, and he will be comforted that you are very close by. Eventually, you can move the crib further away and possibly into baby's own room. I had a friend that did this and it was very successful. I pray that your baby gets stronger and healthier and if you are nursing, you are ensuring that he will!
Blessings to you and yours,
K.

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