How to Keep Others from Rubbing My Belly??

I was just thinking about this today, I am only 12 weeks pregnant and someone did it to me already! huh?! what are you rubbing? baby's not even UP there yet! that's my LUNCH. I was thinking of telling the person that if they wanted to rub baby they would have to rub down by my PUBIC BONE which is where my uterus is. that would have embarrassed them haha.

I was thinking next time if I can see it coming, I will grab the hand and warmly squeeze, like I was thinking they wanted to shake hands.

I always stepped back and put my own hands over my belly. That way, they could only touch my hands and, most often, that helped them get the message. If they would try to find a place where my hands didn't cover, I would grab their hand and hold it.

I would always have people say "I can't help it, I'm a toucher." I wish people would realize how disrespectful that is. You can convey love, congratulations, well wishes etc. WITHOUT touching another persons body.

ps. Allison K.'s response had me roaring with laughter!!! Made my day!

People love to touch .. because you have a miracle growing inside of you.. The touch is saying wow...how awesome.. and congrats... they don't mean any harm. I am a toucher.. but usually if I know you really well... I can;t have babies.. i adopted.. so I find it so awesome that a baby is inside of someone.. You know it may happen... so take a step back.. and if they look like they are going to touch.. just say nicely.. that you hate to be touched.. since you became pregnant.. tell them its kind of like wanting pickles and ice cream.. you have being touched.. it will work.. and sorry for all of us touchers.. we don't mean anything except wow!!! :)

Stand far enough away that they can't reach you. And back up when they reach out. I'm not much of a touchy person, and I must have given off "don't touch" vibes, because I didn't get this in either of my pregnancies.

Good luck!

That is so funny!! The only part of my pregnancy that I truly hated: people, even strangers, suddenly seem to feel they have a right to touch me!! I hated it as well. I found myself often having my hand (or arms as I got bigger) on my belly. Looking back, it seems it was some kind of baby protecting, don't-touch-my-belly-stance. At the time it seemed natural, now I'm wondering if that is what began to deter the belly rub.

Have you considered getting a t-shirt that says, "I'm not Buddha." Just Kidding!! (I think he's the one people say if you rub his belly, he brings good luck.)

This happened to me during both pregnancies. It's funny that I just read this because we were just talking about this at work the other night. I work on a maternity ward and can honestly say that I have never felt the urge to rub anyone's pregnant stomach, whether I know them or not. Such a violation of a persons personal space, know one touches you when you aren't pregnant so I don't understand why people seem to think they have the right to when you are pregnant. I realize that it is a miracle and amazing that a baby is growing in there but it is still my body. One of my coworkers is pregnant right now and brought up the subject because she was at the store and a complete stranger came up and put their arm around her and started talking to her while rubbing her stomach. She was furious and let them know and walked away. We then went on to share our stories and it has happened to all of us. I had no problem with my friends, family and coworkers rubbing my belly but I draw the line at complete strangers. So yes you are in good company and it will pass.

Ha! I love it!
Maybe if they touch your belly, you can reach over and touch /rub theirs!

I did not experience this, most people that wanted to rub were very close friends or family, so they always asked.. It usually did not bother me.

I waited tables until I was 38 weeks along with my daughter so you can image how many times my belly was rubbed!!! It was so annoying. I didn't mind the ladies, but I would always stop the men simply by gently turning away so that they couldn't touch it. I was working for tips so it's hard to say no to people who are just well-intentioned.
If it really bothers you, rub them back, lol. Ask 'em how they like it! ;)

I'm with you I hate being touched by other people especially ones I don't know. Most of my family and friends know this and didn't even attempt to touch me while I was pregnant. But I had a total stranger try this in Babies R Us once and I caught her hand as she tried to touch me and told her this was my personal space and I would like her not to invade it. And then asked if she would be ok with me touching her butt without an invitation. Nice, no. Rude, yes. But it got across my point. Just be on the lookout for it and try and catch it before it happens. This only happened a couple of times to me so I too must give off that vibe of don't touch me.

Ooooo that irritated me so bad! It only happened once to me, it was a co-worker that I wasn't even friends with. As soon as she found out I was preggo, she went over & started touching my belly! I was quite taken aback as you can imagine. I was so dumbstruck that I just stood there w/a deer in the headlights look. You are correct...this IS personal & it's a violation of personal space. I really wished I could've spoken up at the time but I was just speechless, literally. If it were me again, I'd grab their hand before the actual physical contact (if possible, if not, grab their hand & push it off of me otherwise) & say "excuse me, why do you feel the need to invade my personal space like that?" It's not okay to touch me in such a personal manner. If they get mad, so be it. They're only mad b/c you said something & didn't allow it. I think ppl (mostly women) expect to feel the baby move & gush over it. It's still wrong no matter what the reason may be for them. Good luck!!

You could always hold out your hand and demand your quarter. If they are going to treat you like Buddha, then they need to pay up. Luck is not free! There are quarters on top of Buddha's belly in Chinese restaurants all over America. That should put a stop to the serial rubbers. Other than that I stood with my hands crossed over my own stomach and gave off the "don't even think about touching me" vibe. People will want to touch the baby after it comes too. Be prepared for that. cb

I saw a t-shirt with an arrow pointing to the belly that said, "If you didn't put the baby in here, then you can't touch it!"
It used to bother me too, but only with certain people. I had a coworker rub my belly in the middle of a crowded elevator - quite embarrassing!
I was always tempted to rub the other person's belly, as others have suggested, but I just couldn't work up enough nerve to do it.
Good luck!

Personally, I enjoyed and welcomed belly rubs when I was pregnant. To me, it's a way people show love and attention to the baby while it's still in the womb. If it really bothers you however, you just need to speak up and be prepared to grab hands when they reach in for a belly rub.

I did two things, if talking with someone kept my distant so that they could not just reach out their arm/hand and touch (if they took a step closer I sometimes would find a way while talking to take a step back OR if they went to put a hand on me since there was space in between I usually had time to block/say something). I also would keep my hand on my belly or my arm across my belly, great way to tell people to not touch.

If it happened I usually say something along the lines that I appreciate their love/care of babies but I do not like to be touched. If someone gets offended I did not care, it is my body I do not want to be touched! Oh and someone mentioned below to touch the other person's belly, I did that a few times with great sucess (it usually was to the same people who were ALWAYS wanting to touch).

If someone asks and I didn't want them to touch I simple say that I am a little sensitive to touch right now and decline their request but add that when the baby comes they can hold her/him the next time we see each other. If it is someone really close to me (mom, sister or whomever you are close/comfortable with) asks I sometimes would say yes but usually I said no because I truly was sensitive to touch and do not like it.

This really only happened to me one time during my first pregnancy. My co-worker, an older gentleman, went in for the rub. After he was done, I said, "My turn!" and rubbed his belly. He spread the word, and no one tried it again. :)

If they were friends or family, I would ask them when they were going to pick me up for the dinner and movie. If it was a stranger, I would try to avoid their touch but if I couldn't I would tell them that was very rude. If they tried to justify their reaction I would glare at them in an exaggerated manner. That usually worked. My sister would act like their touch started labor contractions and then look at them and say, "Don't do that.". I saw her do this in the mall and it was extremely halirious.

I totally feel you on this one! (Get it, feel you?) I too dislike the belly rub of a pregnant woman and wasn't shy about my opinion either time I was pregnant. I know that it comes from a good place, but I feel it should be asked if it is ok, then the mom-to-be can decide. One of my mom's female friends kept doing it to me, even after I had expressed my opinion, so I patted her tummy right back and it ended it.

Another time I had a man not just pat, but put his arm behind my back and give a circle rub on my belly. He asked "how's it going in there?" So I patten his butt and said, "better than in here."

I felt very vulnerable when I was pregnant and kept seeing news stories about attacks on pregnant women, which just worsened my feelings of vulnerability.

If you see a hand reaching out, it is easy to take it in yours and give a shake or to simply step back. These usually send a polite but firm message. If you need to be more direct, please feel free. You need to be as comfortable as possible while pregnant.

Just my thoughts! Congratulations!

I know just what you mean.
You have a lot of good suggestions here so I won't duplicate.
However, now you need to get prepared for how to respond to random strangers wanting to touch, grab, and pick up your baby without consideration.

I would recommend a stroller with a canopy that encloses the baby so that strangers can't freely touch.
Also a sling or kangaroo pouch of sorts to keep the baby attached to and facing you...so that you can protect baby as you do your belly.

Much love and blessing on your little miracle!

This will crack you up!
I had a friend that would touch the other person's belly if someone touched hers while she was pregnant!
I was with her and it was hilarious!

Some lady reached over and commented on her beautiful tummy and touched it, and my friend quietly reached out her hand and touched this strange woman's belly. No words were needed. It was quite powerful!

I wouldn't do that....it takes a special personality to do that, I think.

i am with you. i hated when ppl would rub my belly. i have quick reflexes most of the time and can see the hand going for the belly. i simply turn away and say please dont rub my belly and shake my head and smile. if it is someone close to me i dont mind. but strangers at the grocery store? no way!

Is it maybe the way you carry yourself? I don't know if it's my part of the country, or what, but I have to be honest - I'm in my 34th week of my second pregnancy, and I can count on one hand the number of people who have touched my stomach in either pregnancy, and that includes friends and family (but excludes my husband and OB, of course). Now, I don't tend to stand close to people when talking (take the 2 feet or whatever that most people are comfortable with and double it - that's me) and I often walk around with my own hand on my belly, so maybe there isn't space for other people's, but I genuinely don't have this problem.

If someone did, I would just say politely, "Sorry, I'm a little sensitive there right now. Please don't touch me." Women experience all sorts of cramps when they're pregnant, and I think it's in very poor taste for someone you don't know well to touch your stomach - there are some days when that just hurts. If you're out in public, keep things like your purse or shopping cart between you and another person so that they cannot touch you. And the rest of the time - I guess shrug it off. At least it's a limited-time experience.

When you see the arm extend, turn in another direction. That is probably your best bet. Sorry you are so uncomfy about it. I know some people just don't want to be touched. Its your body, so protect it.

I have been pregnant 9 times and each time I have some random stranger reach out to touch me. I respond by reaching out and touching their belly too, which totally throws them off guard. Other times I gently guide their hand back to their own body while talking to them. It depends on the situation and the person.

I don't have an answer for you, but I hated it too when I was pregnant. When I was pretty far along with my 2nd child, I was shopping at a store in the mall. A man lifted up my shirt and KISSED my belly!!!!!! I just stood there stunned and speechless. Still, to this day, I cannot believe someone would do this. If I could go back in time, I would have slapped him silly!

I must've had some kind of sign on my forehead because people NEVER touched my belly!!! Strangers at least... My mom & sisters did all the time, but we're an affectionate family, and I looked forward to it, especially since my husband never wanted to haha

I totally understand you don't want to be touched...I have 3 kids and with each pregnancy there have been a few people who touched, but not many. You know, you can't really compare it to touching another part of your body, or your non pregnant tummy. There is something so beautiful, sacred, awe inspiring, and frankly magical about that blossoming belly that people long to reach out to it. Can you blame them? Really it is the most amazing thing on this earth, it is the essence of Life. So sprinkle some love on them as they reach out to your gorgeous, miraculous belly. Share the magic!

I see (below) that a LOT of women have experienced this and feel the same way! Count me in. I've even had STRANGERS rub my pregnant belly! Ugh. I don't have a solution for you, but I sure wish I did! This too shall pass...

I don't really know how to answer your question, but I felt the same way when I was pregnant. I did not want people rubbing my stomach and to this day I have NEVER rubbed another woman's stomach. That to me is way too intimate. Hopefully some mothers can give you some good answers for your question.

I think like some of the other mamas said, there must be a "don't touch" vibe some of us give off. I am not a toucher & don't like to be touched, but a lot of my close friends & family are definitely touchers. Certain people it doesn't bother me and I can't quite define what that group is. LOL One of my male coworkers whose wife is also preggo caught me off guard yesterday, but what caught me off guard more was it didn't bother me.
To me any touching is intimate (long story w/abusive background that I am fully aware causes my issue). Though not necessarily sexual, it's still my space the toucher is invading.
I realize some people are just touchers & it's a personality difference (my hubby & best friends have always been). Luckily I've never had a stranger do it; I'm not sure how I would react! I haven't noticed that I keep my hands over my burgeoning belly (now 20 wks & all out front), but I'll start noticing now if that's what I do to protect myself from the random touchers.
With my last pregnancy, my best friend reached out & rubbed my belly then immediately apologized when she realized what she'd done. It was a good laugh for us cause I thought it was sweet she was so wrapped up in it since we hadn't seen each other in a while, but she was so embarrassed.