How Old Are Kids When They Start to Separate from Parents?

I have good news for you. Sometimes they don't. I have a son who certainly did and I have a son who never ever did. My daughter is going to be 13 this coming Wednesday and she hasn't yet. She still hugs me and kisses me on the cheek in public and likes to spend time. She does like to spend time in her room but is just as comfortable downstairs. My younger son probably won't, but my baby girl will totally want that independence. It's not a guarantee. It has a lot to do with personality.

Thirteen for girls, a little later for boys -- fourteen or fifteen -- usually.

That is one of the reasons the teen years can be unpleasant - they are beginning the separation process, and they can be kind of rude in the process, if allowed to be.

Enjoy those years through age 12. I vividly recall my last super snuggle with my daughter at age 12, and then 13 hit, and she didn't even want me looking at her.

Although they don't know it during their teens, they still crave love and attention, so you still force love on them where appropriate. I didn't believe in teen angst till my daughter -- formerly the sweetest creature on the planet -- went through it.

Enjoy your sweet spot!

p.s. Don't count on "enjoying her as a teen." Also, obviously all kids are different, but I'm basing my response on observing dozens, or hundreds, of kids over the past decade or so. It's pretty typical.

I thought our son would start pulling away around 8 yrs old.
Nope.
So far he's just turned 15 and still likes being with us.
He thinks teens that are embarrassed of affection to/from their parents need to grow up.
Teens with strong parental attachments get into a lot less trouble.
Then again one of his taekwondo masters who's just left for college (he's 20 - he took a gap year off) openly hugs his Mom and the other parents present applauded.
It's a fine thing for a young man to be secure enough to be able to show affection.
Our son will be a wonderful husband someday.

It really varies.
For example:
My son is 7, in 2nd grade and some of them even now... act like hugging their Mom is icky. And they act like mini-teenagers. One Mom has that problem already with her 2nd grader.
I work at the school. I see what the kids do and how they react to their parents etc.
Then, in 5th grade of course and even in 4th grade, the kids (not all the kids), but kids morph and change. And whoa... some of them become, soooooooooo sassy/precocious in an unflattering way/stuck up and dress differently. And yes, they separate from their Mom. Its 'uncool' after all to have Mom around.

My daughter is 11 and in 6th grade. But she still will hug me in FRONT of her friends and she still calls me Mommy. Not Ma or Mom.
And her friends, do that too.
They are age appropriate. Thus far. And my kiddo and her friends are still close with their mom and dad.

I think it really depends on the temperament of the child and the social situation. Mine is 6.5, still wants to hold hands when we walk, but is also able to go and play independently for significant amounts of time. I'm just guessing but probably around 8 or 9, when pre-adolesence starts to kick in.. 9 year olds are often notorious for being rather mouthy and behavior starts to change, more toward separation.

Glad you are enjoying this time. I know I am!

Interesting question. There is a 6-year gap between my first and second sons. Sometimes I look at my second son and distinctly remember his older brother not having been at the same stage at the same age. For example, I think that by age 9 or 10 my oldest son stopped hugging, kissing or cuddling and was pretty-much mortified at my existence. My middle son is 9 now and would crawl back into the uterus if he could. He still hugs, kisses, cuddles, climbs on top of me, sits on my lap, tells me he loves me, and showers me with affection. It's a little over the top, actually, but whatever. My 7 year old is definitely not as much of a lovey-dovey snuggle bug. They're all different!

It really depends on the child.
I was still tucking my son in at night when he was in 6th grade! He seemed to enjoy the ritual :-)
My older daughter was never a snuggler, much to my dismay. She seemed to go from baby to independent "I can do it myself" child overnight.
My youngest has always been more attached, but more like a satellite circling a planet. Meaning she likes to be close to us, and know where we are (even now, at 14) but she also likes to stay in her own little space.

When they learn to walk. It was gradual, now they live on their own.

Perhaps since I didn't fight against their independence the teen years were easy. If you look at what causes most teen temper tantrums it is exerting their independence. Mine never did that, instead they proudly showed off, I got this!

i agree with many others. It depends on the child. 5th grade is a common changing ground, and my eldest began then. Youngest waited until high school......

I'm really surprised you're still getting the attention you are.

DD is 14 and and only child if that matters. She enjoys time by herself especially when she just gets home from school. Otherwise, she still loves being around us. She is affectionate but not overly so. She will still kiss DH or me goodbye when we drop her off at the bus stop or school. She is of the "I don't care what other people think" kind. She is very mature for her age and many of her teachers have told me she is a "delight". We spend a lot of family time together and she also spends some time with friends. I don't believe that all teens have to go through that difficult stage when they have an attitude or don't talk to their parents. We just don't buy into it that it's "normal". That's my 2 cents for what it's worth.

My oldest son is almost 16 and he hasn't pulled away yet. :)

My youngest son is 9, and he's still happy to have us around, too, so I guess we're lucky so far.

Both boys are home-bodies. They like hanging out with their friends, but they also really enjoy being with us. They're also great about giving hugs and curling up on the couch to watch movies. I love it!