Hugs All Around!

Ha! Love you Theresa!!!

I'm a super sensory hugger type, polar opposite you.

(My son came up to me this week and said "Im going to cuddle you so hard!")

I loooooooooove hugs, draped arms, heads on laps, shoulder bumps, neck rubs, hair playing, double cheek kisses, etc.

But for YOU I shall "throw" hugs and kisses from a distance of no less that 8 feet. :D

I do not Do Hugs I have a 2 ft rule..I avoid them, will not except them. Good luck with the day.... I feel you 100 %...

Theresa, we come from the same planet. I feel ya, it's all about coping.

Dog hugs, hugs from the little one, and hugs from the husband...I'm good to go. The rest, shudder!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gotta say, Big Hug Fan here!

OMG...I thought I was the only one!
I don't like being hugged by anyone but my kids and husband. I don't remember hugging my parents much growing up so when they hug me it feels all kinds of awkward. I don't hug any of my brothers either.
My girlfriends know that I am not a hugger and for the most part respect that. My best girl knows it annoys me and SHE will always go in for the hug. If I see someone going in for the hug I usually get distracted QUICKLY by my kids or husband! PHEW avoided another one.
Seriously, when people hug me I hug back, bang into their cheek, let go too early or hold on too long, don't know what to say, stand there like a board, I HATE IT!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Have fun hugging!

L.

Well, me I like most bugs... I wanted to be an Entomologist when I was a kid. OH SORRY I read your first few sentences too fast and thought you said you hate "bugs!!!" But its HUGS!
LMAO!
So I like bugs, but not hugs... so what freak does that make me?

But like you... I also don't like all the huggy/kissy type things during the Holidays.
Bleh.
I feel invaded too etc.
But I like to be cozy with my Hubby/kids.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Does spooning count? Cause I have been trapped in a car all morning so none.

An interesting observation, I have noticed that those that know me well do not expect hugs. It is not that they know I don't like it so much is they know it means nothing so they just don't seek it out. Then again they also know that if I initiate a hug it has meaning.

I love my friends and family. :)

I guess I am saying they all have figured it out without the constant hugging.

I can tolerate hugs, but I hate when relatives kiss me - yech!!!

I always feel akward with all the hugging too. My in laws are all huggers. We aren't due over there for a few hours, so I have time to start drinking! It's only 9:30am here, that's not too early to start, right? :-P

I googled to see if there were strategies to help you :) and found this article.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/i-hate-hugging-getting-over-th...

Don't know if it's at all useful, but it was kinda funny.

Sending you a virtual hug -LOL ; )

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, I've learned something NEW about you today with this confession.... and I am SO THE SAME WAY! I especially don't like to hug people that DEPEND on hugs... my Mom being one of those.
I honestly think I hate hugging people because of being FORCED to hug people when I was a little kid. Seriously.
I will only have to hug my mom today, once when I pick her up for dinner and the once more when I leave.
She is a lingering hugger, which is even MORE unnerving.... wants to hold me for a long time. My hair all stands up and stuff. And yes, I too, will need alcohol to endure it.
I'm envious of the touchy feelies.... good for you guys..... I just cant help that it grosses me out.
I'm assuming it's one of the reasons they have been banning hugging at many schools, some kids have probably even complained about it.

Me likey NO Hugs.
I am not a hug fan as well. I can accept them if they are not bombarding me, kissing me, or trying to crush me. The only ones I like hugs from are my kids and sometimes my husband but usually that means only one thing, and then its a hug with a catch.

My mom was a massive hugger, and she was disappointed if you didn't. My dad never hugged but recently he started. Now he crushes me. I hugged my brother maybe a handful of times in my life and never my sisters. When I DID hug my brother it was when he was deployed each time and it made him cry. I guess Hugs for me are the ultimate show of affection and love. So if you get one from me, its a rare treat. I hope you dont drink too much and not to many people give you hugs! heres to a hug free Thanksgiving.

Not too many (extra) hugs around here. We've run away to the ocean with the kids and my mom. So it's just us, and we're not any more huggie than we normally are.

But. Okay. I'll admit it. I'm a hugger.

Big surprise, right? ;-)

Wow! I don't think it's dysfunctional to hate hugs, but I do think it's dysfunctional to have to get liquored up to deal with it. For everyone who hates hugs; have you ever thought of just telling people? Theresa, you say your family notices you don't seem yourself on holidays. Why don't you set their minds at ease by telling them the truth instead of them worrying that you're depressed or something. Maybe when you're all together today you can make a joke out of it. When everyone's together tell them you have a serious announcement to make. When everyone gets worried and concerned you can say "I hate hugs" and it will be a big relief that it wasn't anything serious. Then have a toast to no more hugs. Enjoy your holiday.

Oh my gosh I love to be hugged. Love, love, love it. I do not however like people talking into my face about a half inch away from my mouth. I do not like people giving me all their unsolicited advice or not listening to what I say and then pretending like they did and spitting back wrong information. I do not like backstabbers, which some huggers can be. I do not like people who insult you the entire time and pretend like it's a joke. But hugs, well, love hugs. And if I ever ended one of my posts with 'hugs' it's because I really mean it. I will be hugged many times today, and am grateful my stepfather will not be present because he pushes us away with his hand. My extremely brilliant important sister will insult me about my clothes or my hair or abilities or education. My brother will tell dirty jokes. My children won't be there, one will be far, far away and the other one refuses to come. So I will, like you cope today, but really do love the hugs.

I'm up to 8 already and not everyone is here yet, ugg. Think I'll go find a drink.
Happy turkey day!

I thought I was the only one - thank you! :)

My children, my husband, and my parents - that's about all I like. Otherwise it's very awkward for me, as is cheek air kissing (popular here in southern FL).

I am curious about one thing - do you like hugging your doggies? I know I love snuggling my baby.

Hope you have had a great Thanksgiving Theresa!

I like hugs - but I'm not a hug-a-holic.
Sometimes an acquaintance will surprise me with a hug (my son's elementary principal did this once - he was a really nice guy) - but it was ok and I felt good about it.
I hug my son and husband everyday (morning and night).
Our son has ALWAYS been a super snuggler - and sometimes if he feels his hug-o-meter is running low he'll tell me "Mom - I need a hug!" and I'm more than happy to comply.
My personal theory is to hug your kids often so they don't feel an overwhelming need to seek affection from girlfriends or boyfriends too soon.
(My Mom seemed to back of hugging us when we became teens and yeah, it might have been a factor in my friendship/crush/romance with a boy that was 4 yrs older than me.)
We don't travel for the holidays and we're not having company over so I'll not be getting more or less hugs than usual today.
If hugging a lot bothers you, maybe you could fib a bit and tell people you have an achy shoulder or bruised rib which hugging seems to make it worse.
Although I like hugging, I certainly would not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
A hug should bring a smile to your face and give you a warm happy feeling - not a grimace and a shudder!

Theresa....
Actually, I love hugs and kisses. I need these expressions of affections. However, I liked your post, I imagine your face :- ) You made me laugh....
Have a great day!

I'm not all that surprised Theresa. I like hugs, but only from safe people whom I love deeply and hug tightly back. But distant relatives, especially creepy ones...I hug with my elbow bent up and hands at my shoulders pretending I just didn't get my arms extended quick enough. Looks like was about to slip them a hug.

I think the wet kisses, and alcoholic smelling breathy kisses before everyone started drinking, and the just had a smoke kiss are worse than hugs...IMHO.

But from afar, I am sending you Canadian hugs and a bit sad that I don't get to celebrate Thanksgiving and the obligatory hugging with my family!

Cheers to you then, hugs another time!
JR

I don't have a problem with hugs any more, but I get it.

But here's sending you a virtual hug!!

I don't like hugs either. In fact, my 4.5 year old drives me nuts: she never allows me to have ANY personal space.

I am hoping to only have to hug a few people. Hopefully I can hide behind my kids and let them do the hugging!

Yeah, I have nerve damage from my mastectomy, so I find hard squeezing and being patted right in that area to be very painful. My family does know this and the hugging isn't over the top. It's more a problem with people I'm not as close with who don't really know (or remember)

My MIL didn't like hugs either. You could almost feel her skin crawl. So I didn't hug her after I realized she didn't like them.

Sometimes all you have to do is tell one person and they will spread it like wildfire. A side to side hug is often a better choice, less frontal contact.

Teresa,

I completely understand. You don't have to be hugged if you don't want to. The way I handle it is if I don't feel comfortable, I grab the person's hand and shake it and block my body so they can't hug me. Or take both hands and then tell them its great to see them but I am not hugging anyone today----If they are anyone who respects and loves you, they will understand that you are setting a personal boundary. They will understand.

If you need to be blunt, say " Hi Aunt Sue~ Great to see you! I'm sorry---I don't feel comfortable with hugs---I would love to embrace in another way--etc then shake her hand.

I'm a hugger. Love hugs especially big squeezy hugs from my daughters. My youngest likes to squeeze me so hard I squeal. But I certainly wouldn't want to plant a big hug on someone who felt uncomfortable getting hugged. I think you should either let your feelings about hugs be known to your family and friends or make up some BS story about having sore muscles or something so you can avoid the hug. Life is too short to put up with hugs from big ol' Aunt Bertha if you don't want them.

It depends on who it is for me. I used to really enjoy hugs, but as my pain issues have gotten worse I've realized that most people don't know how to hug without hurting someone else. Most people don't even know how to read someone else to see if they're receptive for the hug.

Having a child with Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder, as well as my own pain issues, it's really opened up my eyes to reading people and their hugging preferences.

I have a family of huggers, though, on all sides. Most of my friends are huggers. You're bound to insult someone if you don't hug them back. I've learned to brace myself and offer a hug in the least painful way, and I've taught my daughter how to respectfully say, "I am not ready for a hug, but hello" and to wave instead. I've also trained family and friends to ask her for permission first. :-)

I love hugs - but we don't do them too often for family gatherings, maybe because we all live near each other and see each other often.

At my sister's wedding last weekend his whole family hugged AND kissed like crazy! LOL...it was fine with me, but I was not expecting it!

Sometimes I feel like Riley describes how I feel better than I can.

So ditto what Riley said

On top of what she said
thisis completely odd and off topic and I guess i'm a freak

physical contact to M. makes M. feel at peace
sometimes it's not even about the need to hug and feel loved but my body feels so tense and when i'm hugged the motion somehow exercises those muscles the same but better than stretching does and then i can finally relax

it's odd, if i cant hug I purposely tense up (as in clench my hands and stiffen my body) to get that same feeling so my body will feel better

Awe I love hugs! I do get a little nervous when people slam against my padded rock hard bra though. Yep, its the bra.

I have overcome it though, I like hugs.

I'm a boarder line hugaphobic or Chiraptophobia (term for fear of being touched I googled it).

Ok phobic is not the right word, there is a very short list of people who do not give me the slight ick factor when I hug them. I'm not sure why this is.

The same for touching. I think some of us just like a little more personal space than others. It's ok either way I think. I, like you, have learned to endure. Unless I don't know the person. Then they are likely to get knocked in the kisser.....

Completely agree - although with me it's only some people. I like hugs from my mom and husband and my one aunt. That's about it. There are others I can tolerate a hug from and some I prefer a nice wave.

Some in my extended family like to hug goodbye and I suspect most of the rest of us hug for the same reason you do - to not appear cold or that we don't like each other.

My mom likes a kiss too - which is a bit awkward for me - as she likes a kiss on the lips and I don't, so I give her my cheek and I do the air kiss.

I don't like hugs from my BIL at all, but he is very much a hugger and kisser so I have to do the air kiss with him too. Odd. He kisses my mom on the lips and it creeps me out.

I grew up in an in your face kind of family. When its a holiday expect to live in another persons bubble. I can usually get through it just fine but kisses. ok I love my family and they have learned over 22 years that in my face like that is not going to work. Bf has a hard time kissing me unless I am totally in the mood just so we get the point.

I dont mind a kiss on the cheek but that is all your going to get out of me.

Like you I love my family and muscle through a few but then I hide! lol

O as for hugs. I got probably more than I have fingers and toes!

theresa, i used to hate them. then i tolerated them. now i like them. maybe someday i'll be a tried and true "hugger". our family isn't, but as we have gained some great inlaws who are, it has kind of caught on. i do think it's great.

cyber hugs are still ok right? :) ((hugs))!!

I didn't know that about you, Theresa! Well, I'm the huggy sort, but I will tell you that a dear friend of mine who was taken from us in college (car wreck by a drunk driver) was like that. She couldn't tolerate hugs from her mother, even. Her family said that she was like that as a little girl. So you aren't alone!

We aren't with family this weekend, so my hugs with a houseful of friends (we have 7 coming) will be more perfunctory, but I'll cherish them all. (We're having our Thanksgiving during the weekend this year.)

Across the internet hugs to you! (More comfortable, yes?) And enjoy all the turkey leftovers since you will have already had your dinner by the time you read this!

Dawn

I'd rather give a hug then kiss people on the cheek. Family is okay, but not acquaintances. However, as everyone finds amusing, I'm a pat-on-the-back hugger. I hug close enough, but not all the way. Patting to me is kind of an OCD thing. I usually pat 3 times, then the hug is done. I also do this when consoling someone. I know for me, when I am upset the WORST thing to do is try to hug me. A pat on the back goes a long way.

The only hug I miss is from my grandfather. He would give you the best hugs. Like a bear. Real tight. I think he's the only one I ever truly let hug me.

I get it. but I love hugs. I give lots of hugs to my family and friends I have not seen in a long time. My dad was a hugging man. My mom is as cold as ice, she never liked being touched. My kids are huggers too! When my whole family get s together we hug all the time!