How Often Do You and Your Husband...

I am 35 and he is 42.
2-4x a week.
Sometimes more, rarely less as my H is one of 'those' guys who thinks he is deprived if he has to go more than 3 days in a row w/out.

~Been together 13+ years and we have realized that I have definite cycles and for about 1 week a month I jump him like crazy, morning and night. Then I need a 2-3 day rest period. Hormones. Ha!

Every couple needs to find their own balance and flow. There is no right answer. FWIW: My H would not be compatible w/me if I thought of 1x a week as 'way too much'. Sex is important and both parties feelings and needs need to be considered equally.

Every other night. I'd be good with less, he'd be game for more :)
Best thing we ever did after having kids was develop a predictable, scheduled pattern... no "will we or won't we" dance each night.

I believe it is healthy in a marriage once a week, but we are not that active unfort. I would be great twice a month but I know men would need that extra love more frequent.

Sometimes we rip 5 off in a single weekend, sometimes we go for months without it. Sometimes one or the other of us is displeased with the frequency, sometimes we both feel about the same.

Sex (or lack there of) is a living thing in a relationship. Best solution is to talk about it together, openly, honestly, humbly (good luck with that).

His needs/your needs, both important.

:)

Once a week in a minimum. Swear to ya, go longer than that you become a raging b.

We have "issues" that sometimes mean long dry spells but to me, a normal expectation for a married couple would be once or twice a week. Not to judge but if that's way too often for you, you may want to talk to someone about that and figure out what the problem is - could be sexual hang ups from how you were raised, or low libido, or that you're just not into your husband, or that he's not pushing the right buttons for you to enjoy it, or that you do everything and then some and are tired, etc. I'd consider myself a "low desire" partner and even I think once or twice a week is normal and healthy.

Every 2-3 days - weekend, mid week, weekend, midweek. My libido is lower than his, and it works for the both of us.

Perhaps if you were able to spend non-sex time together - talking, walking, watching tv cuddled, etc., that may bump up your willingness. People are on different wavelengths. So a good compromise is always nice for the relationship.

Probably four or five times a week. We have been married over 20 years with four children. Take care of the home front. If it important to him, then it should be important to you. Marriage is not a one way street for either of you. Make it a priority and see how much love you get in return.

I agree with your hubs. Once a week is hardly enough. I would feel so neglected and unloved. But then, my primary love language is physical touch.

We are intimate ("do the deed" makes it sound like work, you know) about 4 times a week. But we also enjoy cuddling, caressing, and touching without intercourse.

I suggest picking up the book "The 5 Love Languages."

ETA: I'm 33 and he's 44. We both have plenty of drive, but don't always have enough time in the day.

Once a week is about average, from what I have heard over the years, and necessary for a good marriage. I think twice a week is reasonable for him to expect. It's worth putting it out, to make him happy and keep the marriage healthy.

Ours is way less than once a week, but we are not doing well. When and if we fix this, it had better get a lot more, or I'm outta here.

I am a mom to a 8, 6 and a 19 month old. And we are not anywhere along the norm of what half the other moms have been saying. We are at least once a day! I work part time evenings and he works off and on during the day (weather is not in his favor.) But I think that is right for us beings that we both have a VERY high sex drive! And I find myself saying that is not enough some days.

Totally depends on what we have going on. All 3 kids (9, 7, and 5) are active and busy plus hubby works two hours away and commutes daily.

But even with all of that, I'd say 2-3 times a week is average.

I'm with you! We're once-a-week'ers. I'd be fine with once a month, just too tired sometimes! But I make the effort for once a week, and it's fine. Surveys change so often, but once to twice a week tends to consistently be shown as average for Americans.

I think guys could always use more! If you guys are ok as a couple, and intimate in other ways (hugs, cuddles, etc.) then I wouldn't worry about it.

I wish I had other people's energy!!!!

Once a month. Our timing sucks, I go to bed early, he late, so it's hard to connect.

truthly i could do it every night :) but hubby works very long hours so i mend with him we do it about every other night and weekends every night:) if i dont have that time with him i become a total big B lol...it helps me with my stress levels and makes me sleep better at night!!:)

I try for once a week, but there are months that its only 2-3 times. I'm still nursing, and I'm a SAHM, so I'm all touched out and needing my own space by the time te kids go to bed at 7 and 8. He'd go every night if he could, but I just have no sex drive. Maybe if he helped around the house more, I'd feel more inclined to accommodate his needs. But I'm sure that's for a different post :)

Once a week, sometimes twice, three weeks a month, one week off.

Once or twice a week, on average.
My husband can go longer without it than me, though. If I don't get that release on a regular basis I turn into a wound up, uptight b*tch, lol!

2-3 times a week.
Parents of 3 kids. 10, 7, and 23 months.
But we fluctuate! Sometimes I have been TOTALLY dissatisfied wishing we would have it more than once a week...sometimes I have thought 2 times a month was PLENTY.
It has depended on whether I have been pregnant. Nursing. Birth Control. How old the kids were and how tired I was.

Minimum 2-3 times per week. He's 51 and I'm 43 and our sex drives are equal.

On average 2-3 times a week, but last month we were lucky to do it once a week.

for the last 3 months 2 times a week is the norm (sometimes one=( ) prior to that we were daily and sometimes a few times a day on the weekend.

booooo
I think i';ve made so much of an issue of it slowing down it's taking a while to pick back up. i'm grumpy when its not regular

Our usual is 4 times a week. Bare minimum of 2 times a week. Otherwise one of us, usually me, starts getting cranky. LOL!

With us it's more quality than quantity. I often feel that I could do with less, but I definitely feel the disconnect when that happens. Sometimes I think I am just too tired, but when I look at it as a unique way to connect with the love of my life, it changes. Life gets in the way for sure, and it's not always wild and crazy. But it's so necessary, especially with the kids. Keeps the special connection as husband and wife and not parents.

Once a week.
Would be happy with once a year.
Mommy is tired! 5 little ones all day...

Three to four times a week. I am 39, husband is 35. This is what works for us, and keeps up both content. :)

when I was in my 20's and 30's I would have liked to do it every night. when I hit my 40's I was good with a couple times a week. however my husband has always been ok with only once or twice a month. after I went thru breast cancer and chemo I lost all interest in ever doing it again. and he suddenly wants to do it all the time. I am 50 now and couldn't care less if we ever do it again. good luck with finding a happy medium.

Every other day, unless something gets in the way.
Anything less than that, and I find that I get cranky and definitely crave it.

Right now, I'd like it every day, if possible!

I'm a night owl and my husband wakes up early, so that means he falls asleep most nights before the kids. And I'm not a good morning person either. When he stays awake we have time. I do try to wake him up at his request (he's completely knocked out though) and I've tried waking up early too.

We do it every other night...hubby would like it more:)

couple of times a week

I'm not married, don't have a SO, and I get it a couple of times a week with FWB's, and would like it more often, but my guys' work schedules and mine conflict.

Hi B.,

My husband would agree with your husband. However, my husband should never really be caught complaining. Unless it is that time of the month, or I am sick, we do the deed every night. Some nights I may not really feel into it, but I don't deny him. That's certainly not the way for everyone, it's just what works for us.

I do have to say that once a week is not too much. I couldn't even imagine that.

And by the way, we have two children in the house, 11 & 8. My husband works 3-11:30pm and I work 6-3. We are crazy mad busy, but we always make time for that.

once or twice a week except for that one week per month. my hubby (i know, i'm a horrible wife) would do it every day if i'd let him.

I am right there with you, B.! Luckily my husband is understanding, but I hardly ever want to do it. I would be fine with once a month. Which is about what it is right now. We have 2 kids - 12 and 2 and the 2 year old is with me all day while I work from home. Plus we are trying to transition him into a toddler bed and that is not going well. So I am just totally exhausted. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Probably just a faze. But you're not alone!

if we could, I'd do it everyday, lol! Once a week does seem on the low end. On average we do it about 3-4 times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Just depends on if we can either keep the kids busy with a movie, or make sure they are sleeping.

Sometimes 1x a week, sometimes 4x a week. No matter what it is, it's never enough for my dh. He could do it 3x a day and I have almost no sex drive whatsoever. It's a problem that we'll have to address eventually.

4 days a week after 3 years together and 2 babies. And it used to 4 times a day back in the beginning!

We recently made a schedule. Each day we already know whether we're having sex that night or not. It's much easier with kids!

on average, 1x per week. My husband thinks I'm a mind reader and knows when he wants it and doesn't say anything. During ovulation, I could do it every day but then he gets too rough(i let him know) and I get very sore and then its over for a few days. I have to be in bed early during the week cause I have to be up by 5 most days and sometimes 4 and thats too early for him so sometimes its less often.

About 3 maybe 4 times a week. We would both like it to be more, sometimes we're just so exhausted, and I'm a writer, so I pull all-nighters often. I think for married couples once or twice a week is healthy, however, it kinda sounds like you're not happy with that. I suggest, talking to your husband about it, and getting some professional advice. It's not that I think you should be having more, I just think you should both be happy with your sex life.