How Often Do Parents with Several Young Kids (3 or 4) , Both Working, Have Sex?

We go anywhere from 1x per week to 2x per month, depending on what's going on. I am the one with the low sex drive. The only times I've ever been raring to go were when we first started dating, and when we were ttc.

2x/month. We have two boys who are about to be 5 and a 9 month old baby. Before the baby I'd say it was closer to 1x/week.

Maybe you want to re-word the "and we both work" part of your post. I was a SAHM, on call 24/7, when my kids were that young. Trust me, both my dh and I "both worked." He was just away from the house when he working and I wasn't.

As far as your question goes, there were times during that period that we were having sex every day, other times we weren't. There are no "averages" or "normalcy". Trying to compare one marriage to another will only serve to frustrate and confuse. If you and your husband are content with how often you knock boots, don't worry about it.

yeah, about the "we both work" thing... UM, getting OUT of the house and AWAY from your kids actually HELPS my sex drive. What is more of a turn off than being worn out with your kids all day? Seriously. LOL! (Having a job of some sort really refreshes me, not really talking about sex, but it calms me.)

Well, I'm a SAHM, BUT I do work very hard- not only do I care for MY four young girls (ages 8, 7 5 and 3), but I volunteer all over the place with Scouts and school. My husband works outside of the home. For YEARS he worked 7 days a week, but just this past year he brought it down to 5.

Since day ONE of our relationship (before the kids, before the marriage) our sex life has been abundant and barely changed (the only time we didn't have sex was the 6 weeks after the four births). And not the whole time I've been strictly SAH. I've worked full time and part time throughout it all. We ALWAYS had steady sex. Now it is about 4-10 times a week. Wide range, I know... but that is what it is.

ALL that being said, there is no reason to worry or compare with other couples, and pregnancy can change it up a lot with all the crazy hormones. BUT I will suggest that if you just "give in" a little, you may find your drive back, at least temporary. Like, if you want to have more sex you start having sex...

P.S: Having a "high maintenance child" OR five dogs OR you both work OR literally anything else honestly shouldn't have to do with sex. I've been through a LOT since I've been with my husband: 4 births, 2 deaths, vasectomy, 5 moves, a pregnancy scare- complications, a delivery room scare, my not being able to walk for a period of time, FOUR car accidents, a child breaking a bone, financial ups and downs, a firing, my getting laid off, the list goes SOOOOO far beyond that.

More sex doesn't mean you are a better couple, BTW... it is ALL about whether you are both happy with it or not.

Also, can I just say that some people think that sex is SUCH a hard thing to "schedule" or have energy for or whatever... WHAT is the big deal with 5 min to an hour or more(depending on whatever- there's the foreplay and what-not, and then there's a "quicky" or what-have-you) of intimate time with your spouse?!?! Think about that. there are a gazillion things I could name that take the same amount of time or more that women I bet don't think twice about...

Sex? What is that? ;) We have 3 children and another due in a month also.

What is "normal" is different for everyone, and it just depends on their individual circumstances. You might think it seems like a lot for a couple to have sex to 3 to 4 times a week, but not everyone is in the same boat you are in. Not every mom on here has 3 young kids, plus is 8 months pregnant, AND works a job outside the home. When the question comes up, many people answer that they are maybe "doing it" every 1 to 2 months - so it's not like people just automatically answer if they are having sex more frequently and don't answer if they are not. My hubby and I might average twice a week, but we also have our dry spells, and we only have one child, one of us working, and no pregnancies. I am sure if we were in the same situation as you, the sex would fall way down the priority list! At least it would for me!

It's kinda sad that we give up sex while raising kids. I know the dads hate that part.
I still had sex every night with my husband when we finally hit the sheets. I didnt always want to, but I knew it was something he needed to be happy. I would sometimes be resentful of it, but now that I look back on it, I'm sure it was the right thing for him and our marriage at the time.
If it would have been MY way, probably once a week would have been fine for me... easier to fit it into the hectic mommy schedule.

We are anywhere from 1-5 times. Typically 2-3 though. We both work long hours and the kids are very active. Each couple is different though. Do not compare yourself to others.

wow that got turned into a SAHM's work too question. =(
I only have one so my answer would be unimportant for your poll but I;ve read this question a lot on the site and it goes from once a month to 3-4 times a week. there is no average it depends on each persons drive and if bith partners are content. Your pregnant so he should be nice, you should ask how many moms dont when pregnant and you may get more answers.
I'd say find a middle ground where you're both content.

BTW working does make a diference. I imagine you hae to do allof the things a SAHM does when you get home from a full day at work, cook , clean, books, bed and so on....SAHM's do get to do that during the day as well....I'm not saying their job isn' hard or harder in some aspects but they do have time to cook, clean, and spend time with kids all day...working moms have to cram all of that into one or 2 hours

2 young kids, two full time jobs-
Every other night. We try anyway. there are sometimes we miss a night. We mostly stick to it. It helps to be on a cycle. We both know what nights we're on or off and plan accordingly. Having set days takes away the "are we or aren't we" factor... and takes away the lure of pulling the "too tired" excuse. Duh we're tired. We're always tired!

At least once a week, maybe 2..
4yo,3yo,and 3week.
During pregnancy, not as often, it was a painful pregnancy.
But now, 1-3 times is normal, but more like 2.
We both work, but I'm on maternity.
Normaly, before this last pregnancy, about the same...
We also have pets. And normal stuff. Sometimes you just got to do it.
Like I hate being woke from my sleep for sex, especially if I have to go to work and your waking me up early... Like seriously, let me sleep...
But sometimes, if its been a few days, I just roll with it...

I am always amazed at those who are at it every night! I would die! We have a 4, 2 and 7 month old and we are once per week or so. Twice a week is frisky!! When we were newlyweds that was another story ;) You sound totally normal to me!! Congrats on number four, hope you find some miraculous way to get some rest :)

Ok there is no "normal" on this. My husband and I have 3 children ages 4, 2 and 10 months. I can tell you that we barely had sex when I was working. I was so exhausted and so was he. Now that I am a SAHM, we do it around 1-2 times per week (except on the PMS weeks). My husband I worked 2 separate shifts and we were lucky to have it 1 time per month. We are doing better now that I am a SAHM but we make time on the weekends and that is our special time. Once my hubby is on days, we will do it more often, but once I am back in school, I am unsure.

I don't think there is a "normal" to this. First off, you are pregnant and the only time I wanted to do it when I was pregnant was at the beginning and very end when I wanted the kid out!!!!

Good luck in your pregnancy. Oh and just a little FYI. My family doc just had her 4th child. I know this doesn't have much to do with your question, but you aren't the only one out there with this question.

Ummm yeah. Not high on our list we have 3 kids, 2 dogs, both work and yada yada yada. We have different schedules are generally don't see each other until 9pm or later. So, twice a month is about it.

Hubby and I both work full time. Are grandparents raising one granddaughter and have another granddaughter who stays with us 75% of the time.

Like Shannon R, we have "scheduled" sex every other night. We only miss when one or the other of us is sick. Sometimes I am soooo tired I really don't want to, but hubby is ALWAYS up for it so I do it. I find that it only takes a couple of minutes before I'm feeling energized and no longer tired. The tiredness comes back afterwards but that's okay because it's time to sleep then.

I really think "scheduling" is the way to go. That way everyone knows whats up and and plan accordingly. Sometimes hubby and I will take turns taking a "power nap" earlier in the evening.

Once a week, and we only have two kids!

Sex is a foreign word in our house right now.....my baby girl is 3 weeks old and I'm a SAHD to my daughter and 3 y/o stepson - my wife just went back to work. Being a guy, sex is right up there thoughtwise....but being as I just became a dad, my wife just gave birth and we're all busy getting into a new routine....it's low on the list prioritywise right now. Hoping we'll be able to squeeze it in there ASAP!

My twins are 3, my daughter is 11 months, we both work (opposite shifts), and we're tired. I feel good if we have sex once a week! Realistically, it's once every two weeks.

I also was intrigued by the last question that was similar to yours.... and I wondered if BODY IMAGE or how you feel about yourself physically made a difference to those having sex less than one time per week versus the ones having sex 3-4 times a week.

2-3x/week.
My kids are 2 and 4. We both work.

Yes, we're tired at the end of every night, but neither one of us has any trouble getting into it if the other wants it.

We have three kids age 5 and under. I work from home with no daycare so I'm a working SAHM (that means I get no sleep, lol). My husband works 50+ hours a week at a physical job. We probably average 1x a month. We don't go to bed at the same time many nights as I have to stay up and work and he gets up early. Even when we do go to bed at the same time, we are usually both exhausted. We have talked about it and we both know we should have it more often, but we both are just so tired!! We have an amazing relationship in every other way, we are each other's best friend and figure the sex will be important again. We have talked about scheduling it and probably will eventually.

We have a 3 year old and an 18 month old, and a 6 month old destructive puppy we rescued from a shelter that is destroying everything we own.

We probably average about 1x per week right now. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

Don't stress about it. And if you can manage it, help the guy out once in a while, even if you're not feeling it. Let's him know you love him. Even a little manual stimulation goes a long way...hopefully he is willing to be understanding and accommodating.

Best of luck with the birth of child #4!