How Do Your Children Address Adults?

I always have my kids introduce themselves so the adult can be the one that decides what they want to be called.

Mr and Mrs Blank. I hate being addressed by my first name by children. They are not little adults, and it is good manners to be respectful. They need to know that they are children.

M.

Mr or Miss and the first name. I don't want anyone calling me by my last name. Or MRS for that matter. It makes me feel old. I like Miss T. just fine. And many last names or difficult to pronounce. I don't want my kids mangling it and everyone laughing at them.

We also use Mr. and M.. It shows respect, it teaches authority. Children are not "peers" with adults. Also, even if someone says that they can call them by their first name, we won't let them. I just quickly explain that they are not allowed to use first names with adults. They are our kids, and they must go by our rules. I have to say that I find it interesting that most parents have their kids call teachers by Mr./M.. Last name, but nobody else. I also notice that most kids respect teachers (and nobody else). I think there is a correlation between the two. Teachers are not demi-gods, so they don't require more respect than anyone else. We want our children to have that same respect for all adults just because of their position in life (they are adults).

This one is kinda funny to me. Though my daughter is two, when I introduce her to people I say Miss Wendy or such. It sounds funnier when it's a man and then it's Mr. Mike. The reason why it's strikes me as funny is because we just moved here not long ago and I just realized of all the people that I do know, I have no idea what their last names are!

Mr. and Mrs. Last name

I looked over some of the responses. The fact that you have a mix of answers shows that about 50% of people think that Mr./Mrs is respectful and appropriate, which is a good reason to require your kids to use those titles. Just because a mom feels it's 'oldschool' or 'too formal' doesn't mean the people her child addresses will also feel that way! There is little respect from kids these days, so I think it's best to teach it where we can!

I taught my daughter to address people the way they wanted to be addressed. I would introduce them as Mr. or Ms. First Name, and unless they told her differently, that's what she called them. Some people told to just call them First Name or a nickname, and that was fine.

I was fine with kids calling me by my first name.

Yes maam, yes sir, Ms/Mrs.. First Name or Ms/Mrs. Last Name depending on how they prefer to be called...whatever it is, I add the Ms or Mr to it out of sign of respect for authority and adults. That's how we were raised. When they become adults, they can call them whatever they want.

If it's someone we're not close to, like Suz says, the last name is our default. If it's a friend of mine, his Sunday School teacher, etc, it is Mr/Mrs and the first name. But we really go by what someone calls themself during introductions (His instructor, or sifu, we call Sifu because that's what he introduced himself as, if someone says "Hi, I'm Ms Lilly" then that's what we say, but if they say "Hi, I'm Mrs Smith", then that's what we say. He is learning it's not acceptable to say "fine" or "ok" to adults, but yes sir / no sir, etc. Being from the south, I am a grown woman but I still call people my mom's age and up by Mr / Ms, and I appreciate a child calling me Ms A..

Well, unless the adult is a teacher, doctor or another person of 'authority', my girls just call them by their first names. Just like I'm perfectly fine with other children calling me by my name. I mean, it IS my name after all.

To me, it's more important that my children are polite and respectful, rather than calling people by certain titles.

My kids are always first introduced to Mr. X or Mrs. Y, but if Mr. X and Mrs. Y ask my kids to please call them "John" and "Mary", that's what they do. I prefer being called "K." over "Mrs. C" but more often than not, I'm called "Anna's mom" or "Kate's mom", as in "Excuse me, Anna's mom, may I please have a glass of water?"

i think mr/mrs last name should be the default position. if the adult expresses a preference to be called by a first name, then mr/miss first name is fine. but i think i think it's a nice old-fashioned gesture of respect to include the mr/miss thing.
khairete
S.

My kids are 3 and 4. We have them address adults as Ms. "first name" and Mr. "first name". It's easier to say at a young age, and it's consistent with what they do at preschool. WHEN they get older, I may try to change to last names... but I like the Mr. and Ms/Mrs part - maybe I'm just old school!

Aquaintences, teachers, authority figures - Mr. & Mrs. last name
Parent's friends, parents of friends - Mr & Ms first name

All adults are answered to as Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am & Yes Sir, No Sir

Another Miss/Mr. 'First Name' here!
Like you I address the adult for my child to know what to call them...though my DD is so shy she won't even look at people, let alone talk to them. :(

Similarly my nieces have been taught by their mom and gma that they can address DH and I w/o the appropriate Aunt/Uncle title...it really irritates me.

I am not ok being just 'E.' to a 6yo.! ;)

There isn't anything stuffy about using last names and titles. Actually, first names used to be reserved for family and good friends. I called my parents' friends "Mrs. Smith" and "Mr. Jones" even when I was an adult, as a sign of respect, unless they asked me to address them by their first names.

Now the faceless clerks at the bank drive-through window, who don't even see me and communicate through a speaker system, address me as if I were an old buddy. That's what they're instructed to do. I thought I was the only one who didn't like it. So... thank you! (End of rant.)

I taught my children to address adults just as you are doing. If you want them to use those forms of address, it's especially important to teach them exactly what to say and to be encouraging, because they're not going to hear it from others very much.

I like being addressed that way, too, especially by children. Sometimes, with the neighbors' little ones, I relent and let them call me "Miss M." instead, because my last name is rather a tongue-twister.

I always just ask how others would like to be addressed. I am fine being called on a first name basis, however many of my friends prefer their children call me "Mrs." I am fine with whatever, but feel kind of odd going by Mrs. I always want to say "My mother-in-law is not here!"

we do Mr or Miss and first name. But I always ask if that is ok first or if they have another preference.

Their teachers, Mrs, Mr, Ms---____ , my friends and everyone else, first name.

No maams, or sir,

im not that oldschool

Most of the time it's Ms. or Mr. Name (first or last depending on the closeness of the friendship and preference of the person). It's something DH was lax on when the stepkids were little, but something I think is important with DD so I encourage it. I encourage their friends to call me Mrs. V. and one of SS's friends always calls me Miss Amanda because that's how we first met (before DH and I married). I think it's kind of sweet even though he could drop the Miss if he wanted now (he's 21).

DH has a friend where the kids call him Uncle First Name, and vice versa. Which I found odd because the kids didn't call their own aunts and uncles Aunt or Uncle FirstName. (We are changing that for DD. Partially out of respect and partially to teach her family relationships.)

I always taught my kids to address adults as Mr or Mrs unless that adult specifically says it's ok to call me (first name.) I prefer to be called Mrs by children but some adults prefer to be called by their first name.

I believe this is a regional custom.

In SoCA, most people tend to go by their first names with kids. It's pretty casual there. There is a swing back to being more formal with the MR./MRS especially with the church crowds.

When I lived in the DC Metro/Virginia I noticed this very old tradition of kids calling me Miss Jennifer and other moms by Miss first name.

When I lived in Phoenix, I would always have my children address other parents as Dr./Mr./Mrs. but most often the parents would decline the formal approach and ask to be called by their first names only. And there were a lot of doctors in that last neighborhood, including mine, and they would still request a first name only. Except the more Mid Western raised families, they would still use a title even if asked not to.

I was raised with only Mr./Mrs. titles and no other option. And to this day when I fondly reflect upon old neighbors, I still call them Mr./Mrs. lastname. Just how I was raised.

Very close friends (some closer than family) Aunt/Uncle or first names
Friends "Mr. and Mrs." unless they insist otherwise
Everyone else...."Mr. and Mrs." regardless

My kids will usually say something along the lines of Miss Amy or Mr. John. If they friends are very close family friends, they might say Aunt Cheri or Grandpa Orville. They're still showing respect but it's a happy compromise. There is certainly nothing wrong though with saying Mrs. Branen or Mr. Ellsworth, especially if it's a teacher or other professional the children are working with unless they're specifically told to call them something else. My husband is 30 and still calls his parents friends Mr. & Mrs. He says he feels really weird calling them by their first names although they have said it's ok for him to do so! There are a few family friends of my parents I still call Mr. or Mrs. but most of them were Aunt or Uncle (or in once case of my brother's, it was Uncle Grandpa. :D)

We did the same, this is Ms. Wyatt. Then if Ms. Wyatt wanted the child to call her Mary, that was fine.

Once our daughter started school, we started being friends with children of the teachers Principal etc.. So when the children went to their homes, I liked the way they would tell the children to go ahead and still call them Ms. Smith Or Mr. Jones so that the children would not slip up..

I remember when they started telling our daughter in High School that when she graduated she could begin calling them by their first names.

She told me she felt strange having the privilege of calling them by their first names! She still mostly calls them Mr. or Mrs..

Depending on the relationship, Mr., Miss, Ms., Mrs. and Last Name or First Name.

I spent some time in the south, and I have several friends from the south, too. My boys have been influenced by those relationships because I insist that they call all female adults "Miss ________." For example, their nanny is Miss Laurie, my friends are Miss Kat, Miss Dani, etc. That way it takes away the "Miss/Mrs" question right away at the beginning of the relationship.

Most of my friends and acquaintances try to get my kids to call them by their first names only. This is a happy-medium way to indicate respect but also abide by their wanting to be called by their first names.

Again with the Southern tradition thing here- Mr./Ms./Mrs. ladies are "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am", and men are "no sir" or "yes sir".

My son is 8. He calls other parents Mr or Mrs. Last Name. Some people prefer Mr or Mrs. First Initial of Last Name.

My son's friend's call me Mrs. Last Name.

When he was very little he would sometimes use Miss, Mr. or Mrs. First Name.

I'm from the south and I find it's a little different there. We mostly teach children to address using "Miss" or "Mister" and the first name. So, I would be "Miss M." etc. I think this is easier for little ones because last names can be tricky to pronounce sometimes.

When I was a child I always called most adults by thier first names, exceptions being teachers. My kids called most adults by their first names, until we started martial arts training, all black belts are spoken to as Mr or Mrs, or Sir or Ma'am, no first names even between spouses, when in uniform.
I've been divorced 30 years and don't like being called Mrs, most people don't use Ms, I perfer being called by my first name. I am ordained and when I am working with people they call me Reverend R. or sometimes R. and I am okay with that.
I think it depends upon the relationship you want your children to have with these adults. If you want to keep a formal distance they should be called Mr or Mrs, if you want your kids to feel as though they can really talk to these people then first names are okay. Sometimes our kids will want to talk to someone else about something and having to call all adults by Mr or Mrs puts up a barrier.

First names even though I grew up saying Mrs. xxx. Feels so formal!

We are in the Northwest and it is more informal here. Preschool teachers have always been "Teacher Firstname" or "Mr./Ms. Firstname" but our adult friends are either "Firstname" or "Uncle/Auntie Firstname" if very close family friends.

We use first names.
Actions and not titles is the best way to show respect IMO. It's also not saying that an adult is an "equal" by calling them by a first name IMO. By being older means you have had longer to learn what is acceptable and therefore in the position to teach and correct as needed and should be listened to.
I don't put a lot of power into a title personally. Don't think they're necessary. I also don't care for the fact that a woman is labeled simply by being married or not and yet a man gets the same title no matter what. In a way I would say it's demeaning and kinda sexist to a woman for lack of a better way to explain it.

I really don't mind being called by my first name unless their parents prefer they use Mrs. I prefer my children call people by what they want to be called. Some of my friends want to be called by first names and some by Mr. or Miss (first name). We really don't use Mr. or Mrs. (last name) unless the people are much older.

Mr./ Ms. (first name) is how I have taught my children to address adults and for me personally, I prefer to be called "Ms. (first name). Using last names, to me, is very formal and makes me feel and sound very old.

actually it depends, If they are friends of ours they call them by their name- their friends parents and people they don't know well are addressed as Mr. or Mrs

If the person is married then I would go by last names like you stated but if they're not married, then I'd go w/something like, "kids, this is Miss June or Mr. Kevin". It used to be when I was a kid, everyone was 'Aunt so & so' or Uncle "so & so". Even if it was a neighbor, it was still Aunt or Uncle. I even had an adult cousin that I was told to call 'Aunt' & didn't find out til I was an adult myself that she was a cousin, not an Aunt so I think I would avoid the old fashioned 'Aunt or Uncle' & just go w/Mr. Ms. or Mrs. so & so or if the person is not married & younger adult, go w/something like Miss June/Mr. Steven, that way there is still a sign of respect of them being an adult figure rather than 'one of the kids' if the person is a younger aged adult or not married & allow that person to change the way they want to be addressed if they want. Hope this helps, good luck!

I would like my daughter to call neighbors and friends of ours "Mr." and "Mrs. (insert last name here)" and then for adult family members it's Uncle _____ and Aunt ____, regardless if they are actually an aunt or uncle (i.e. several cousins of mine). We also have some really close dear friends that are "Auntie M." and "Uncle R.". However, it seems that the neighbors and friends that I want her addressing Mr. and Mrs. end up telling her to just call them by their first names!

Funny thing is, my parents friends and our neighbors when we were growing up were always Mr. and Mrs. Last Name. Now that I'm grown, I could easily call them by their first names, but I just can't do it!

Either Mr or Mrs "first name" or Mr or Mrs "Surname"

In school my son has to call teachers Sir or Mam, so sometimes he uses those too.
Sometimes he forgets and just calls people by their first name, and I remind him that is not polite.

But personally I don't mind if kids call me Allison

I am just getting into the swing of playgroups, etc. I say this is Miss Janice. Miss Betty. and so on.

Mostly "Aunt" and "Uncle" for neighbors or adult friends. Mr. and Mrs. for acquaintances.

We do Mr./Mrs/Ms. unless the adult objects and only wants to be called by his or her first name. I noticed that I use Mr./ Mrs. so often when talking with my children, that when I see my friend, I'll forget their first name! Another instance of how having children destroys your brain cells.

I HATE being called by my last name (but I hate pretty much any and all titles). I teach my children to say Ms. or Mr. First Name. And I expect to be called the same. Besides, I think when I refer to someone by the first name and expect my children to remember and call the adult by their last name, that's way too confusing.