How Do You Plan Your Day?

I mentioned to someone before with a similar problem: don't do it all in one day!

I do laundry one day, dishes one day, vacuuming one day, the bathroom one day, each kids room one day, outside work one day, and paperwork one day. Sometimes I can get both kids rooms done in one day, or the paperwork or vacuuming is minimal. Every day I rinse and use the dishwasher, I carry the laundry to the laundry room, and I'm constantly pushing toys back to the kids rooms from whereever they've roamed away to. Sometimes I start my morning out in the yard, especially as the days are warming, to mow or rake or water, just to have a quiet start.

And I added to the end of my response to the other mom with a similar question, It's got a historical and traditional background to do things this way: http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/mulberry.htm

For me cleaning all rooms of the house is too much for one day (but I am also working a part time job). Instead I have Mondays as the day to clean floors, Tuesdays as laundry day, etc. It seems easier to break it down throughout the week, yet I also try to put things away when we are done using them so that the house stays in a tidy condition day by day. However, depending on the unexpected things that arise I am not always able to stick to this schedule. Hope you find something that works well for you. Good Luck!

My favorite tip is to keep a laundry basket (or decorative basket) in the front room or any other important room, and toss all the toys in the basket about 15-30 minutes before dad comes home. The house magically looks clean, and you can put things away later. The first day I did this, my husband actaully complimented my "cleaning." Also, I have incorporated many of the tips from the Fly Lady's book "Sink Reflections"--her stuff is also available online at flylady.net. Good job being motivated!!

My friends say I am TOO organized. I have to be.
I just do the daily cleaning when kids are at school or when someone is napping.
I keep the kitchen cleaned up, vacuum downstairs, toys put away, trash out daily. I do a load of laundry every morning and fold it later so I don't have ten loads come the weekend.
Then for every day of the week I do one big chore.
Like Mondays I clean all the bathrooms
Tuesdays I change all the sheets on the beds and pick up bedrooms.
Wednesday I dust the whole house and vacuum upstairs
Thursday I have to take the trash to the curb, clean the fish bowl and other smaller things.
Friday I have some other things to do and errands.
I don't put in more then an hour and a half into my day cleaning. It is done by Friday and I have very little to do on the weekends.
There are many things that don't have to be done daily. Your baby naps, take one of those nap times to do your stuff, the other naptime to relax or start getting things ready for dinnertime so it is a easy cooking process.

Don't spend more then two hours a day on house stuff, it is possible.

If you throw a load of laundry in first thing in the morning, come back later, put it in the dryer, start up the dishwasher and then when your daughter is napping, fold and put dishes away.
Hang in there, you will find your groove! :)

My little girl is 9 months old today and I just don't think you can get as much done as you like. Does your husband watch the baby? Because when my husband watches our now active daughter, he has a renewed appreciation and always says "I don't know how you get ANYTHING done during the day!"
I just try to start laundry during her morning nap, but vacuuming is pretty much out unless her dad is home on the weekend. Any kind of cleaning, so long as it does not involve chemicals obviously, can be a game with your baby (folding laundry, putting away dishes) if you make it one. During her morning snack she sits in her highchair while I spend 10 minutes cleaning up the kitchen. I can no longer make dinner because of the way our house is set up - the hughchair is the only place for her to be that is safe, and if she is in it, she expects to be fed immediately! I do what I can, when I can, but my husband often makes dinner. Both of us like the house to be clean, but life is different now and we have learned to accept it. In my opinion, you should save some of your energy for being a wife and for your relationship when he comes home! I know my husband prefers to have some attention from me after my daughter goes to bed, rather than me cleaning or being to wiped out for "us" time!

My husband liked the same thing, and I really wanted to give him what he wanted. After all, I don't envy him the responsibility of having to be up and to the job day in and day out. At least at home I can take breaks and schedule my day around how I feel, etc. Anyway, what worked for me is the following. I did one deep clean a day. Mondays it was the living room and hall. Tuesdays it was my bedroom and bathroom. Wednesdays I cleaned the other bath and the laundry room. Thursdays I actually made bread and did the laundry, and Fridays I cleaned the office and did paperwork. Saturdays I tackled the kitchen. (I actually don't do all this now because my kids are getting old enough to do jobs everyday and deep clean on Saturdays - Hallelujah!) That helped me get everything really clean at least once a week, but I wasn't doing too much in one day.

The other trick that kept both me and my husband sane was that I decided the entire house would be clean one time during the day. Many people choose this time to be at night before they go to bed. Some choose it to be in the morning. I decided my one clean time would be at 4:00 pm, 1/2 hr before my husband came home. At about 3:30 I'd do a quick sweep of the house getting all the surface clutter straightened up so that everything looked nice. Then I'd start dinner. When he got home at 4:30, the house was reasonably clean and dinner was on. I explained my thinking to him and he was happy to go to bed with a cluttered house in exchange for having the house nice when he got home from work.

Of course you will have adjustments depending on your schedule. But if each area gets deep cleaned once a week and straightened once during the day, you should be able to feel comfortable with the cleanliness of your home. Good luck with all.

You have been given a lot of good advice. One other tip I have is if you make a big meal (like a casserole, lasagna, etc) put half in the freezer for those days that just become so hectic and you just don't have time for cooking. Or double a recipe when you cook it and freeze the doubled portion. It makes it a little easier. I have three kids, 5 and under, and I rarely get anything done around the house, but as they get older they learn to help out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Kids grow up so fast you only have a short time for you to enjoy them. Let your hubby know that there will be a time when the house can be spotless and the meals fancier, but right now you choose to spend more time teaching and enjoying your child. If he still complains maybe talk to him about his helping out a bit. No one can do it all by themselves. Thats why God gave us husbands, extended family, neighbors, friends. We were never expected to go this alone. Good luck. I hope this helps.

I agree with Courtney - split it up throughout the week. And an exersaucer is a great way to enterain your baby while you do things like mop or cook (that way she's out of the way when she really needs to be). My house is rarely spotless, but it's often picked up and fairly clean. We have good days and bad days. And dinner is usually ready when my husband gets home, but there are also days when I ask him to pick up a pizza on his way home. It's impossible to do every thing and do it perfectly. Give yourself some slack!

Try to plan a menu for each day at the start of the week. Like on Sunday, sit down and figure out what you are going to have each day for dinner, then go to the grocery store and get everything you are going to need for all of those dinners. In the morning, look at what you are having for dinner and figure out what you need to do for prep. If you need to take something out of the freezer to defrost, do that right away. If you have to chop vegies or something, you can do that throughout the day as you have time, then when it is time to cook, it is a matter of just cooking, not all the prep too. Crock-pot recipes are great too, you throw the stuff in and it cooks all day, you don't have to worry about it.
For cleaning, get a laundry basket and go through the house and pick up the stuff that doesn't go in each room. Then take it to the room it does belong in. I usually wait until closer to the end of the day so I'm not doing it five times a day.

One of the best advice I ever got at my bridal shower was to at least get the table set for dinner before your husband gets home from work, even if dinner isn't ready yet. That way, he'll think that it's about done. It really works, I've been doing that for almost 8 years. Even though some nights he has to wait for me to finish to dinner, he doesn't seem to mind because the table is already set with plates, cups, silverware, etc.

F.,

Your first priority is that baby girl! If other things get done around the house during the day, that's a bonus. I was fortunate that my husband worked at home when my first was a baby and saw how time consuming a baby was. He still didn't help much with the housework, but he didn't expect the house to be perfect and a gourmet meal on the table every night. So many of my friends had husbands that expected so much from them when the babies were small. They didn't realize what it takes to be a mom. My mother of course was no support, she told me how her house was clean every day blah blah blah. We lived in a 600 sq ft apartment when I was small - not much to clean! She had tons of neighbors to help out with watching us. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Be the best mom you can be and if your housework suffers for a while then have the satisfaction that you a raising a great kid. And they grow up WAY TOO FAST!

Most of the tips the other people wrote will help (some of these are fly lady)
-Do one load of laundry a day, not all of it
-Use your crockpot whenever you can
-Plan your meals
-Spend 15 minutes per room while your daughter naps
-Put dishes straight into the dishwasher
-Have those bathroom wipes (windex?) available so you can wipe down the counter & the toilet while you brush your teeth in the morning
-You don't have to make your bed with hospital corners!!!
-vacuum when your husband is home and can watch the baby
-Have extra laundry baskets available to quickly pick up toys, etc to be put away at another time

AND LOVE THAT BABY!!!

I found that splitting the chores up over the week was easiest. On Mondays, all I do is laundry and some dishes. Then on Tuesdays, depending on how the rest of the house looks, I'll vacuum, put away the odds and ends in the living room and straighten the bedroom.
Wednesday is usually a good cleaning of the kitchen and any dishes that I didn't get finished on Monday or that piled up from Tuesday too.

Trying to get it all done in one day is a task for Hercules, especially with a baby.

The other thing you could do is to get those walkers or a swing for your little girl and have her in the same room as you work. This keeps her with you and you can work and talk to her at the same time.

It also is a big help if your husband is willing to take on some of the housework himself. Maybe have him do some of the dishes after dinner. Or have him fold the laundry.

One of the things I love most about being a SAHM is that you don't have to do it all in one day! I stretch my chores out throughout the week - one day is vacuuming/dusting, one day is bathrooms, one is mopping, etc. That way I'm working on a little bit every day, but still have time to spend time with the little one and I'm not exhausted. The other thing I do is figure out what CAN be done when the little one is around (vacuuming, dusting, folding laundry, etc.) and what I'd rather do when she's sleeping (cleaning bathrooms so she's not around the chemicals, mopping floors so she's not tracking up the wet floor, etc.), then I plan my day accordingly. I also do at least one load of laundry every day, then it's not such a big chore. I still handle things this way now that my daughter is 3 1/2 and it works well. There are those days when the house is a disaster of course, but I've found that it is best when I make my time work for me, such as starting the dishwasher, laundry, etc. before going outside to play with the little one, then it's done by the time you come inside. Good luck!

You are crazy if you think you can fit everything in one day, and respond to your husband when he gets home. Put your self on a schedule. I try to do laundry & mop my floors on Monday. Clean the kitchen & vacuum on Tuesdays. Clean the bathrooms on Wenesday. Mow the lawn on Saturdays. I have my daily things that have to be done everyday like dishes, make beds, sweep, take care of my self. SO on and so forth....
On as far as having dinner ready when the hubby comes home. Take a moment and write everythng down that you can cook. This will make menu's for the week a little easier. Try and add some things that are new once in a while. I pull out what ever I am having for dinner that day (frozen meat) by 3:00pm and put it in warm water. Let it sit for an hour and start cooking dinner by 4:00-4:30. Dinner is done by 5:00-5:30.
When it is time to get things for bed I pick up toys, empty the sink, and clean up dinner, etc......
As far as your and your hubby getting the time that you need alone. Have him pitch in and help out. Remeber you are a team and running a house does not have to fall on just your shoulders while the only thing he does is bring the money home. Have him pick up and clean a little will get the jobs done faster and give the time needed to spend a little one on one. Remember to praise him for the effort that hubby does give. Even if he does not do it "the right way" or the way you would do it. It can all be fixed when he is not around.

You DON'T get it done all in one day. You can either be a good mother or a good housekeeper. You can't do both. I choose to be a good mother, and quite frankly, my housekeeping sucks. But it must be done for health purposes. I do the laundry and dishes every day so it doesn't pile up. My goal is to clean one room each day (It doesn't happen regularly, but I'm ok with that.). I clean in the morning when I have energy. I'm too tired in the evening. Enlist you husband's help. Yes, he works all day. But, so do you. You need to be a team. YOU can't do it all. You are not superwoman. Go easy on yourself.

The fly lady has a great system for keeping the house clean. http://www.flylady.net/

There seem to be a lot of mothers in my neighborhood that have clean houses, kids behave so well, have time to make great meals and serve them on time, and so forth. Most of these mothers don't have super young kids, and they've had more years of practice than us.

I try to only focus on one or two things each day. Like bathrooms and and laundry one day. I will often start making dinner when the kids are being good, even if it's 5 hours early. Like making a salad, or chopping up certain things to use later. I will purchase things already chopped or prepared to make things easier. If you try too hard to keep the house perfect, have fantastic meals, have your hair and makeup looking fresh, you're going to be an unrealistic mother and may go crazy. If you did all that, your child would most likely suffer the loss of a mother who reads, plays, sings, and teaches her.

Also, my husband says that he prefers to come home to a happy wife who greets him with a hug and kiss, and kids that are happy. Even if the dinner isn't perfect, or the house needs a little TLC. I recommend having a heart to heart with your hubby and explain that it could take time to get a system that works, but his understanding and patience is worth millions.

Great helps:

Book: Survival for Busy Women by Emilie Barnes

Website: flylady.net

If you apply either of these, you and your family will be in 'order' and happy!

There's no way you are going to get it all done in one day. Making a schedule for each day of what you would like to accomplish us better for you so you aren't stressed out about everything. Make one day laundry day with bedding and towels on another day and vaccuum on those 2 days. Do bathrooms and floors another day. Clean bedrooms on a day and dust. Spread the jobs over several days and keep up the schedule. Make allowances for days when you have errands. When your daughter is taking a nap, do a job that can't be done with her around. Fold laundry while she is sleeping so you can relax but still accomplish something. And let yourself off the hook if you can't get something done. You can fit it in when you can. Somethings you and your husband could tackle together and get it done faster and be together.
When you are doing dishes, it helps to wipe things done each time and then it is always clean.
Put a load of laundry in before you go to bed and then it's ready in the morning for the dryer.
It'll take some time to figure out what works best. Relax and don't put so much pressure on yourself and enjoy that little girl!

N.

I glanced through some of the responses, but not all of them, so if this is redundant, I'm sorry.

What I would do is figure out if there is one main thing that your husband likes to have clean. The TV room where he wants to kick back and relax after a long day at work? Or maybe the bedroom is where he likes to relax. Maybe it's the front room, the first thing he sees when he walks in the door...whatever it is (for my husband, if I could keep the kitchen counter cleared off, I think he would be thrilled every day). Anyway, if there is a specifis area he likes to see clean, then you have a focus spot every day and if that is all you get done that day, hey, he'll be happy. Then I'd do my best to have dinner on the table when he gets home. The rest of it would probably be best like all the others said, do one room a day and general pick up. My home was much easier to keep up when I was in a small apartment with only one child, now that I have 3 kids and a house, I have just accumulated too much STUFF! If it is still all too much, try hiring someone to come in and help you once a week, or an hour a day or something. Teenage girls can be helpful to either play with the baby for a while so you can clean, or to do some of the jobs you don't want to do or don't have time to do and they probably would work pretty cheap. I would really look into that more for myself if my hubby had an 8-5 job, but he is home most of the day. Good luck!

I saw this on here but have to echo...flylady--I made a control journal and put it in plastic sleeves so I can cross things off on it as I go along which is great because if I don't get to one thing one day I know where to start on the next week when I am on that day again. I love that it is broken up by 15 minutes for things because with a little kid I don't get more than 15 minutes at a time! lol. I do the digest form of reminders from flylady in my email because too many emails overwhelms me, but my sister loves the individual ones and she goes through and deletes the reminders throughout the day as she finishes them. So there are ways to cater it to make it work for you--if you have questions about what I do send me a message and I can even email you my "Days" papers I came up with that I use to cross off in my book--you can then just edit it for what you need in your home.

HI! Well, we can't all be supermoms like our mother in laws were! LOL, but I found this site called flylady.com, that has shown me alot! It is IMPOSSIBLE to EVERY thing EVERY day! please check out the site-it's free-you don't have to sign up for anything- What you are describing is something I've been struggling with for years! So--off I go to read what everyone else' advice to you is! hang in there-sounds to me like you are doing great!

Get a Crockpot! THey are the best thing EVER. Throw in the stuff in the morning, and viola! Dinner at 5. You can pick up many cookbooks with great slowcooker recipes, and you can even find ready-made frozen stuff to throw in there from Marie Calendars and other brands (I don't recommend the Banquet brand stuff--it isn't very good).
As far as housework, you can't be expected to do ALL of that in one day! Split your week up, doing specific chores each day (Laundry Monday, Bathrooms Tuesday, etc). And just try your best, but don't expect so much of yourself. Taking care of a baby is a huge job! I have two kids, and some days, I am lucky to even get a shower!

I also have a nine month old, and a five year old. I find that I do the same things at the same times of day, usually. Like, in the morning when the baby's in his high chair, I might sweep the kitchen. When he's in his crib falling asleep for his morning nap, I load the dishwasher. I try to put loads of laundry in whenever I think of it during the day, and I almost always do a load at night. I would say that at night when the kids are in bed it's a good time for you or your husband to do a clean sweep of the house and do a general de-cluttering job so that things are in control the next morning.

And, by the way, it makes me a little crazy that your husband goes to work and comes home and wants "the house clean and dinner on". You've been busy too and have a life too. Yes, the majority of household cleaning duties and cooking fall on you as the stay at home mother, but if the house isn't as clean as he'd like it, he'd better pitch in and help out when he gets home. If it helps, maybe there should be certain jobs that are always his jobs, like dishes or cleaning the bathrooms, etc. Just because he "works all day" does not mean he's exempt from helping to keep the house together.

I am building a business as well as being a mommy, so I am a work-from-home mom. So my time has to be much more organized. I use a weekly plan sheet, broken down in half-hour incriments, so I make sure everything that needs to get done in the week gets done (it also helps as kids get older to make sure sports and music lessons, games, recitals, etc all fit). Each Sunday night, we sit down together and fill in whats going on for the week, as a family, for the kids, for my business, and work that needs to be done (what day, time, etc). I also use a daily plan sheet with my to do list as well as a schedule. Keep your to do list to 6-8 things a day (more gets overwhelming) and highlight things as you do them - don't cross them out. That way your brain sees all that you've accomplished, not what you missed -- you feel successful!
Also make sure to schedule in time for yourself (and lots of time to play with your baby!) or you will get burned out.
This may sound over structured, but you will find yourself less stressed and with more free time!!

flylady.com has some great tips...

J. (mom to Zach, 2 years, and Talia, 4 months)

Get a big crock-pot and the cookbook called "Fix It and Forget It" The crock pot is a lifesaver when it comes to busy mom's. Plus, once you throw all of the ingredients into it, it feels great to know that basically dinner is done! Add a side dish and your husband should be happy. I was lucky because my husband wasn't picky about the house or dinner. Hot dogs and mac and cheese made him happy. But, it can be done. Get some of the salad mixes that come in a bag for a side dish. Now Uncle Ben's has heat and eat rice in bags by the uncooked rice. Vegetables come in bags that you throw right in the microwave. So you can have a nutritious meal very easily in todays world.

So throw together a stew or soup in the crock pot tomorrow and get a package of heat and eat rolls and dinner is done!

There are a lot of great organization tips in all of your responses, for the housework. But, don't stress out if your house isn't always perfect. Once you have children there is no such thing as a perfect house. Besides your children become your priority now!

Hi F.! I know it's tough! Your little girl is probably still taking two naps, right? So you have only about 3 hours, give or take, between the naps to get out and do stuff. When mine was at that stage, I would be ready to get out the door when he woke up so that I could get any errands that needed to be done taken care of. All of the "in-the-house" stuff, like cleaning, laundry, cooking..., I did during those nap times. Put the laundry on first, then do a little cleaning, then go back to put it in the dryer and put a new load on, workout, back to the laundry... Even if you don't get to do any super-cleaning, you get everything presentable. I used to be a little neurotic about cleaning but I've come to realize that it's just not worth it anymore. It can be such a stresser and so time-consuming. There just weren't enough hours in the day. I like the house to look nice so I do that like every other day, and maybe once every two weeks, I'll do a deep-clean (maybe on a weekend, when your husband can spend some quality time with your daughter and you can dedicate the time to cleaning). As for dinner - that's a tough one and as she gets older, it only gets more difficult, especially if she's on the move already. Most dinners I make now are made with my 20-month-old hanging on my legs, trying to pull me away from the stove. My suggestion? Find as many recipes as you can that aren't very hands-on. The less attention they require from you, the easier it is. If you haven't already, try recipes.com if you need help with that - it's a great resource. Look for things you can "make ahead" while your daughter's napping, and throw in the oven later.

Sorry this was so long! It wasn't that long ago that I was feeling exactly like you and these are just some things I figured out. I hope it helps!

First you have to understand...your house will never be "clean" so long as you have children in the house, toys on the floor can make a spotless house look dirty! One thing I try to do is focus on 2 rooms a day to deep clean once a week and pick up the other rooms the rest of the week, say Monday is bathroom and kitchen, Tuesday is living room and babies room, Wednesday is any other bedrooms ect,.. I usually aim to deep clean during naps, which sadly my 19 month is leaning away from, one other trick is to clean the bathroom when giving the baby a bath (yours is young yet but hold on to it for later down the road), make sure to throw at least one load of laundry in a day, I go to the laundromat once a week cause I like that in 2 hours the laundry is done for the week. Make dinner a set time I find for me if I know I have to have dinner done by 5:00 it will be because it part of my day almost like an appointment and we manage to get to those on time :). And then learn that it ok if it doesn't always happen, but know that you always have tomorrow to try again. Good luck, there is no magic key to house work and family.

I've made myself a schedule for my housework that lasts Monday - Saturday so I don't feel like I'm doing everything on one day or everything every day. I've found that it's easier to do a few things everyday, then trying to take on the whole house at once. I do try to straighten up every day so it's reasonably clean but even if you have a little bit of clutter, that's not bad. There's a difference between clutter and dirty. You'll find out soon enough with your child when she gets older you'll always have something that she's playing with or getting out somewhere in the house. I've learned to accept the fact that as soon as you finish cleaning a room, there will be toys there seconds after you vacuum. You just have to learn that it's NEVER going to be all done but you're doing the best you can obviously. Just remember that you have a full-time job as well with your little one and I'm sure your husband understands that as well.

F. - there is a fun website that helps you organize your days, plan what needs to be done, etc. It is flylady.net. Check it out for some ideas to help you. She also wrote a book that was a fun read. Best of luck.

Hi Felici -- My best tip for getting dinner ready is the crock pot! This gives you all morning to get something in there, and then most things will cook on HIGH for 4-5 hours and be ready for dinner. Good luck! ~Leica M.

I have three kids now ages 5,2 and 4 months. When I just had one I did pretty well getting everything clean and tidy and having dinner done for my hubby. The sad thing is that I WAS tired a lot and I spent all my free time cleaning and cooking etc. when I wasn't taking care of my baby. Now that I have three, it's just been a compromise of what I want to get done. Days that I need to clean a lot, I usually forfeit getting myself ready- sad I know- but all my time is busy with other things between nursing and feeding my other kids, feeding myself etc. Soo, my advice is that you may need to adjust your expectations. Try to do your laundry all in one day. Then the next day do another chore. Break them up and do one a day. You can break the laundry up too. Sometimes I do laundry late at night or I do a tiny bit of cleaning when my hubby gets home so my kids are with him and I get them done faster. When I only had 1 and 2 kids, I would clean when they were napping and if I had extra time, I would relax a bit. I don't know if this helps you, but it's how I get things done. I was a serious clean freak and still try to be, but with three kids, I've had to realize you just can't do as much unless you want to get up at 5am.

www.flylady.net

I'm a fly baby and it's working!

F.,
This is 2008 - the days of expecting a clean house & a hot meal upon a man's return from work are over. There are more college educated women now than men these days, so it makes more sense financially for them to be with the kids if they earn less. My husband is the stay at home dad with 2 babies & manages to do it all, including gourmet meals (he loves to cook) & working PT. How I help him is by helping clean up in the evenings and on weekends. The way I see it, when I go to work it's like being on vacation - it's really easy compared to dealing with 2 babies. Your husband needs to step in and pitch in as much as he can, even if it is just the weekends, and on the days you're exhausted, bring you dinner!!

Hi
First of all, it all cannot be done in ONE DAY. Start by spreading it out over the week so you do not feel pressured to do it all every single day. When I was home with my kids, laundry was every day, but only one or two loads. The rest was in the hamper out of the way. Assign one room to each day of the week,or one big chore like floors, and remind your husband that you are not his mom and he can put his dirty clothes in the hamper and pick up after himself for the little stuff. This way you have time to be mom, which is the most important job, and also work on dinners for your husband. Ask him to sit down with you to work out a weekly schedule and see what he may be able to do on Saturdays. Doing work together is a good marriage building tool, even if it is only doing the dishes together after dinner every night. It is a good time to talk. :)
R. O.
Gooding, ID

I wouldn't say that I'm very organized and my husband does lots around the house, but keeping things as simple as possible helps. I do laundry once a week except for the diapers a washed every 3 days. Just one load for the diapers. The laundry is 3 to 4 loads on the weekend. Wash dishes in dishwasher at the end of the day and it's usually full. I wash the big stuff by hand. I'd put my youngest in the highchair or pack'n'play while I was doing serious cleaning and usually in the same room as I was in. Sometimes I'd give the baby some kitchen spoons or measuring cups for him to play with...I dust if I a good girl say once to twice a month. Vaccum 2-3 times a day to keep the ants down. A basket helps to transport toys and other stuff from one room to another. I do squeese my knitting hobby in say during naptimes and when the babe is keeping him self occupied. Keeping a regular eating scedule really helps when it comes to babies and the sanity of the family. I start thinking about preparing dinner at about 4pm and right after dinner load up dishwasher and sto-away the leftovers. Then it's kiddlet time, teeth, bathe if needed,(most babies don't need to bathe daily as it really dries the skin). Regular bed time helps the babe and you and your husband. You get to have an adult conversation!!
Any deep cleaning can be done on a monthly or less often times. Just being able to keep the legos of the floor is a "good thing."
You probably already know all this but it's nice to know all of us are in the same boat.
I've been married 23 yrs and I'm so glad to watch my boys grow. I hope you and your family have many exciting years ahead and best of health.
A.

I use a schedule to keep things consistent. I feed my baby (almost one year) breakfast, lunch, dinner, and before bed at the same time every day, as well as run naps at the same time. During the first nap I get showered and ready. We play while he is up.

Some things that have really helped me include:
- having a place for everything and getting the house organized from the start
- doing simple pick-up all day long so you don't collect piles; I try to do the dishes immediately
- having your home baby-proofed enough that the baby can explore without getting into harmful things; then you have free hands while still supervising
- getting help from your husband; my husband watches the baby while I get dinner rolling and he also assists with bedtime
- choose a certain day or time to do one or multiple loads of laundry
- get up earlier than the baby to get stuff done
- print off a schedule and write things down that you want to do at what time each day
- tidy up the house before you go to bed each night
- prepare some meals to keep in the freezer for a quick fix or throw something in the crockpot in the morning for that night's dinner

Good luck!

I use the FlyLady way. She has taught me it does not have to be perfect and I don't have to have every room in the house clean at once. Plus, she breaks it into baby steps. www.flylady.net

I like the other ideas that were said. But I do a thing that I didn't see mentioned. I wash my dishes in the dishwasher at night, when I am getting ready for bed and my little one is asleep. Then in the morning I unload the dishes. And throughout the day, instead of letting them build up in the sink, I just throw them in the dishwasher and by night the dishwasher should be full and then I run it, and repeat the process. This keeps your sink clean and dishes from crusting over. Oh and I make sure I rinse the junk off the dishes so it won't get crusty in the dishwasher.

I also recommend, this was said before, to do a load of laundry a day ( plus babies love to help pull the laundry out of the basket while you fold, at least mine did!). This helps keep the need to do a big project of laundry down.

Hope this helps! And don't feel bad when you can't do it all. Some days I just can't do it. And other days I seem to get more done then thought. Take it a day at a time!

If you try to get all of that done daily, with a 9 month old you will be exhausted! I try to keep things generally tidy throughout the day and pick one area to "deep clean" daily. I do laundry only once a week, unless my kids have gone through too many clothing changes. Remember to enjoy your day and enjoy your time with your baby. You don't have to be perfect, and it doesn't sound like your husband expects it. It is also OK for him to help with some small cleaning in the evenings. Good luck!

Instead of trying to clean it all every day, why not try to pick one room to clean each day. As far as the laundry goes, I consider it an accomplishment to get one load DONE every day. That means wash, dry, fold , and put away. For your meals why not plan a menu for the week. Got to the store to get everything you need. Then just stick to the menu. I would also try to go around the house for about 1/2 hour every night to pick up toys etc. When your baby gets to be a little older, she could help with this before bed. She may even want to help plan the menu when she's older. Hope this is what you were looking for!

Hi F.-my first thought was to say, what is this, the 1950s? The only women "did it all" then was because playpens and daytime martinis were actually acceptable. I'm fairly certain if your husband spent a few days with your lovely daughter, he'd have almost nothing done at the end of the day. Because your job is to take care of her--everything else is a bonus. I work 3 days a week as a marketing director and am home with my daughter the other 2 days. I can tell you being at work is a lot easier. I can have conversations, eat, even go to the bathroom whenever I want--which is more than you get at home! But speaking practically, here are some thoughts: get a sling that your daughter likes and wear her while you do chores. We use the ergo sling and I can do a lot around the house with her while she's sitting happily in the ergo. I make her a part of the tasks--telling her about laundry, talking about what I'm doing, etc. You probably shouldn't be using a lot of chemicals around you or the baby, especially if you're breastfeeding, so my husband cleans the bathrooms and does the tasks with the heavy household cleaners. I also recommend making a big meal Sunday night like lasagna, a casserole or something, so that you can have it for several days. We also do a breakfast for dinner about 1 night a week--so easy to throw together eggs, potatoes and such for dinner. The crockpot is the third lifesaver. I don't know where you live, but I always keep dinners in the fridge from the Organic Dish (theorganicdish.com) or Supper Solutions (suppersolutionsinc.com) so that I always have something I can throw together. We also bought the Lil Playzone Play yard from One Step Ahead and it's totally worth it. We bought some extra panels so she has a lot of room to happily play so that I can get some cooking or tasks done. I know she's safe, so I don't mind running out of the room. Anytime your husband needs a reminder, just leave your daughter with your husband and see how he deals. My husband gets so overwhelmed just after a few hours, let alone all day. Best of luck!

F.,

It is truly a struggle! I find that if I plan everything out, it can usually happen. I am trying to find a balance myself, and it think I am going to have a 'chore' for each day of the week (dusting, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, etc) with a general pickup to prevent clutter everyday. To help with meals, it might help to have a meal plan for the week so that you can get all of your ingredients in 1 shopping trip. Maybe you could add a few slow-cooker meals in your meal plans, dinner can be cooking throughout the day with little effort from you. And your husband will love coming home to the smell of a pot roast :-)My husband works from home, and he admits that with both of us home, it is still difficult to everything done! Just remember that being an attentive, loving Mom to your baby is more important than the laundry or dinner. This time won't last forever, so just keep the important things a priority.

I wanted to add, I recommend getting a baby carrier (a wrap, mei tai or ring sling) so you can wear your baby while doing some of your house work and meal prep. She is then included in your activites, it is a great opportunity to talk with her, show her new things and keep her occupied. My daughter, just turned 1, has seen me clean and do chores while with me, now mimicks me, helps me do laundry and empty the dishwasher (she's such a great helper!) That way, too, she's not off making another mess as your cleaning up her last one! To see some options for baby carriers, visit my website or send me an email.

H.
www.naturalchoices4baby.com

A lot of great advice here from other moms. After reading through many of them, there is one thing I would like to add.
You said your husband wants dinner and a clean house when he gets home? My question is this: How much of what you do every day is work he has created for you by leaving little messes here and there? There is always the general maintenance in a home, the laundry and meal preparation & clean up. On top of that, many times there are the things other family members leave laying around--socks, dirty clothes, papers, shoes, toothpaste in the sink, hair in the shower--little things that add up to a lot of extra work if they don't clean up after themselves.
My husband's mother never had him do anything in the house because they lived on a farm and he had a lot of outside responsibilities. This is so wrong and unfair to everyone else in the family. If your husband is not good about cleaning up after himself, sit him down and explain how much extra work he creates for you and see if you can come to an agreement about what are his responsibilities and what are yours. Everyone should be expected to clean up after themselves, no matter what other jobs or hobbies they have.

If you have a crock pot, use it, and if not, get one and then use it! After you get the ingredients put together in the morning, you won't have to worry about dinner for the rest of the day. It's a lifesaver.

It's helpful to have a weekly schedule of chores to be done - you don't have to do everything every day. Make a list of things that need to be done daily, and things that can be done only weekly. Assign each of the weekly chores a day to be done. Then you have fewer things that you'll be trying to do every day.

It also helps to have a specific time of day set aside to do all the housework stuff, and then let the rest of the day be focused around being with and enjoying your family. For some it works to do all the housework in the morning, so that everything is done and out of the way for the rest of the day, and then a quick pick-up in the evening.

And most of all, don't be down on yourself - this is something we all struggle with at least sometimes, whether we admit it or not!

I think the first thing to remember is that it is more important to have love in the house than everything done. If you stress over making sure that "everything" gets done before your husband gets home, you will go nuts. It can be hard to make sure your baby gets all the attention she needs/wants and still have time for laundry, cleaning and cooking. So, having said that, I find it's good to start one load of laundry first thing in the morning, every morning. It might not get folded until late in the afternoon, and lucky for me my kids are 6 and 3 and love to help with laundry. Also, a sling, backpack or front baby carrier can be a wonderful thing. You can hold your daughter while you work. I am not a very organized person when it comes to cleaning, but when my kids were very little, I tried to make a weekly chart for what gets cleaned each day. This helped, but when you have kids, especially babies, you have to work around them. Meaning that if there are a few dishes in the sink because you needed to take the baby outside, it's ok. Taking a walk with your baby is a really good break from the everyday stuff you do. It's good for you and the baby. If you spend all day trying to get everything done, you will most likely not enjoy being a SAHM. So, don't get lazy by all means, but get what you can done, and when your husband walks in the door after work, you and your daughter greet him with hugs and kisses. Or, have dinner started, and be playing with your daughter in the living room, when your husband sees that picture, he will probably not notice what hasn't been done. If he still says something about whatever you didn't get to, give him a kiss on the cheek, look him in the eyes and tell him, "honey, it's more important that there is love in the house, than a spotless house." Just do what you can, and be very loving. I promise you will love your job a whole lot more.