She is having a very tough year! Her hubby of 12 years walked out on her and their 3 kids on New Year's Eve. 3 weeks ago her Father passed away. She is having a tough time keeping herself together. What can I do for her??? I feel awful and helpless. I invited her and her kids over on Sunday (my hubby will be working). She said she wants to stay home. I totally understand. I just wish there was something I could do or say to help her through this weekend. Any ideas?
*I did ask her if she'd like some quiet time and offered to pick up her kids. She said no, that she doesn't want to be alone. We also have a girls night planned, but not until July 8th b/c that's when we could both find someone to watch all our kids.
She gets to be both mother and father for her kids now, so send her a bouquet of flowers and tell her what a great job she's doing.
A casserole or a pizza sent to her house might be welcome, too.
Could you take the kids for the day on Sunday and just give her a break? I cannot imagine being a single parent to three 24/7.
You can make some meals that will fit in the freezer, things you know she and the kids will eat. Offer to come over to her place and have a 'laundry folding party' sometimes, bring snacks and a silly family-friendly video and try to make it fun. If your family is doing well financially, consider buying her time with a maid service. Just some ideas...
You sound like a really good friend. I hope someone on this thread has just the right idea for you!
She has had a rough time, poor thing.
Sounds like she needs a pick me up. You could always watch the kids for her so she can have some alone time. Or find a sitter for all the kids and take her out yourself for a girls night out. She needs to have something good happen.
You can also write her a card and tell her how much she means to you. Might lift her spirits a little.
I'm not sure if it would be helpful, or if she's open to outside help. If she is, these links offer information about free bereavement support groups in your area.
http://www.hospiceofspokane.org/support_groups.html
http://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?ci...
I think that you should make her her favorite meal and dessert and bring it over to her. The last thing she will want to do is cook. You may also want to buy her a tree or bush or something that her and the kids can plant in his memory.
Take her kids anyway. She might appreciate some room to breathe. And think. Alone.
She could be going into what I would call a pre-depression funk. I'm there a lot lately I just feel blaaaa. I know then the best thing for me is to reach out to my kids, my friends ect. You friend may not know this. She may not realize that she needs to get out and have some fun. She also needs to understand it's okay to be sad and still be around her friends. The best thing you can do for her is to talk to her and tell her you love her just the way she is and love to spend time with her. The saddness she is feeling now will lighten with time but if she doesn't get out and spend time with people who love her she could end up in a downward spiral and become clinically depressed.
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She could be going into what I would call a pre-depression funk. I'm there a lot lately I just feel blaaaa. I know then the best thing for me is to reach out to my kids, my friends ect. You friend may not know this. She may not realize that she needs to get out and have some fun. She also needs to understand it's okay to be sad and still be around her friends. The best thing you can do for her is to talk to her and tell her you love her just the way she is and love to spend time with her. The saddness she is feeling now will lighten with time but if she doesn't get out and spend time with people who love her she could end up in a downward spiral and become clinically depressed.
After I first lost my Dad, my mom and me bought one of those flower blankets I think or a big bouquet and took it to his grave. It helped keep our minds focused on it still being a special day to do something for my wonderful dad. Good Luck and your such a nice friend to be thinking of her so nicely, I bet she'll appreciate anything you offer, even if she doesn't seem like she does at first. This will be a year of first for her so she will be distracted plus having to care for her children.
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I would have just her children over for a Play date on Sunday. Tell her your kids have been Begging to see 'jonny & sue' !! My heart aches for her :-( and YOU!
A day alone to cry, sleep, just sit is probably what she needs! Poor woman!
*ok so she doesnt want to be alone means she doesnt want to be Away from her kids - YET she doesnt really want any other company either :-(
OR you could invite yourself over to her house w/ a few desserts and some wine and Kool-Aid !! lol I'm trying to make you smile. Sorry this is going on.
Tell her you're going to come over. She doesn't have to talk or entertain you and it doesn't matter what her house looks like. Go over by yourself, throw in a load of laundry, clean the kitchen, make her a cup of tea, see how the kids are doing and then take your leave. (Feel it out... if she wants to talk, by all means stop everything to sit and listen) People often don't know what to ask *for*. To have you just take charge and do some practical things for her would be a really great thing.
