How Can I Help My Friend? She's So Burned Out!

When I'm busy and overwhelmed, the last thing I have time to do, and the last thing on my mind, is social time. In fact, I find it quite imposing when a friend asks me to go out when my schedule and obligations are so numerous. That's just me, though... You mean well, and you're thinking of her, and you sound like a fabulous friend, but I think it may be more generous to send her a thoughtful card with a gift card for a mani/pedi or a massage, so she could go on her time, by herself. Unless she is craving social time with a friend, then forget what I said and go for it. You're so sweet to think of her like that. :)

Offer to take the kids for a weekend, and make her some hearty soup. Sounds like she needs sleep and nutrition!

Because her husband is out of town so often, that means mom is switch on in full mom mode all the time, without a break. I know that would break me after a few weeks.

I know you can't ever really catch up on sleep, but knowing someone else is in the house to take care of things while I sleep does wonders to "refill my gas tank" so to speak.

I don't know how comfortable you are with each other to offer to spend the weekend with her sometime while her husband is away to let her sleep in and recharge but that's what always worked for me. I've never had a friend do this for me though. It's always been my mother who has done this for me. There's nothing like it.

Try to get up there and see her 1x a month. Make her a meal or two and freeze it. Watch the kids so she can go get her hair done and a mani/pedi. Send her 'Thinking of you' cards and hand written letters. Send her a care package with US Weekly, gum, hand sanitizer, new nail polish, some bath bubbles, etc. Most of all - be there to listen whenever she needs you.

It sounds to me like she needs you presence-or some hired help so she can get everything, including herself, put back together. Maybe some medication is in order.

I think she needs a girls WEEKEND! You and she should head out for the weekend and have the husbands get together to watch the kids. This can be done lavish or shoestring-whatever fits your budgets. If there is a spa resort-that would be ideal. SHe probably hasn't been away from the kids in a while if ever. Sleeping in, pampering and wine will help revitalize her at least a bit.

You could send some things from omaha steaks. They have such wonderful options. I would send a card and let her know that you care. Maybe a spa basket with a bottle of wine?

I am sorry that your friend is going through this. It is so nice of you to want to help.

If you have it in the budget, a weekend away is what she may need ;)

Send a nice card and a letter (snail mail NOT email)...tell her that you feel something is wrong, you don't want to interfer, but just want her to know that you love her and you are here for her when she needs to talk.

My first impression with the information you have provided was that her husband may be cheating and she found out.....that can be so demeaning, hurtful and humiliating for anyone (woman or man). However, I would not jump to conclusions, just let her know when she want to talk, you want to listen.

Thanks for being a good friend....I wish your friend all the best.

Blessings...

how about a getaway weekend?

or what about just sending her an uplifting email ....daily? Lots of websites you can browse. & she'll know you're thinking of her.

find a crystal/prism & tell her to hang it in her sunniest window. Each time she feels down, have her tap the crystal & she'll instantly feel the light!

buy her a snowglobe. Tell her to flip the sucker each time she feels down.

good golly....I could go on forever! Kudos to you for wanting to help!

It does sound like your friend needs some time away, but also that she needs some sort of regular break too. Since her husband is a way a lot, she's pretty much a single mom and being a stay at home mom is hard enough without having to do it all yourself all the time. I would see if you can get her to go to lunch and try to find out what's going on. Maybe she needs a weekend away or maybe it would be more therapeutic for her to find a way to get a break from the kids regularly. Sometimes when you are so consumed by your life, it's hard to find solutions to your own problems and it helps to have a good friend (like you)to be objective... or sometimes just listen.

As far as the childhood issues and her possible depression, I am very familiar with that, and I don't think that it's terribly uncommon. Raising children brings up lots of unresolved childhood issues that you can't possibly deal with before you experience it. She is probably someone who had some dysfunction in her family and is having a hard time with the feelings her kids are bringing up... or she wants more for her kids than she had and she's wrestling with that. It's so good that she's already seeing a counselor and hopefully a good one.

I would talk to her about what she needs and go from there.
Good luck~ You're a good friend!

I think your idea of girls' day out is fantastic! It won't solve her issues, but it will give her a break from thinking about them - and keeping up with the kids at the same time.

May you could extend the invitation in a card delivered with an edible arrangement. Getting something unexpected like that really lifts your spirits and can change your whole day.

You are a good friend. I hope you guys have a great time on girls' day out!

I like your post --there was no judgement in it. You are a good friend. Babysit for her once a month on a Saturday morning so she can just go and do whatever she wants.