Remember your children can help with a few things and will like being "big helpers." Give them a pair of tongs and have them put all of the dirty white clothes in one laundry basket. Then all of the dirty blue jeans in another basket.. etc..
Have them search through the laundry baskets in the clean clothes for all of dads clothing, then each of their own things, then baby brothers.. then have them "fold" them as best as they can. Once you have folded the towels, have them carry them to the correct bathrooms. Have them carefully place clean clothing in their own rooms.
No one has a perfect house. We all have a pile of clothes ready to wash or ready to be folded. I place a load in dryer in the morning and start a load take another out in the afternoon, then husband places a load in at night..
When you purchase socks, only purchase white ones for them, so you are not searching for pairs.. all of their socks will be pairs.
Start eating off of paper plates. Or serve a sandwich on a paper towel.
Try to make one dish meals. Keep raw cut veggies. If you are going to steam them, do it in the microwave.
Sometimes, just let things go and all of you go to the park. Get out of the house. It will force you to ignore the messes in your home.
Hire a high school student or a teen to come and fold clothes 2 times a week Have them make the beds up with fresh linens.
Try to organize the boys toys, so they can easily pick up and put away their own things. One basket for all legos, one basket for all cars and trucks, one basket for all crayons and markers.. etc..
When my sister was young, my mom purchase a sleeping bag for her to sleep in on top of her bed. My sister REFUSED to make up her bed, so the sleeping bag was easy to roll up and her bed always looked made up.
When they fight, place them in time out in to different spots not facing each other. . 1 minute for each year of age. Do this EVERYTIME.
The bathrooms are the toughest for us. I try to keep bathroom wipes in there and I wipe things down in the morning and again at night and once a week attempt to clean it all.
We used to play hide and seek with toys. I would hide the "stuffed duck", somewhere and daughter would search for it.. then she would hide something and I would have to search.
We played lots of board games and puzzles. I made sure she had time to play outside in the morning and again in the afternoon. Many times, we ate lunch outside so the house would not get dirty and no dirty dishes.,
Just stop what you are doing at a certain time each day and ignore everything except your children. Make it a habit and enjoy that time.
You all deserve to spend fun times together.