Our daughter, a freshman, is going to her 1st high school dance this weekend with a date and a group of other couples. I mentioned to her that she needs to order a boutineer; she said she didnt think girls get them for thier dates for dances other than prom; I told her I think it is still done and suggested we order one. She and I are new to all of this in the 21st century, but she wants to do what is common. Any help is appreciated, we only have a few days to order one.
I ordered the boutineer 2 days b4 dance, just simple white rose with dark ribbon. Good thing I did,my daugther asked me day b4 the dance if by any chance I ordered one and I told her yes. The boy did give her a pretty wrist corsage and she had the boutineer for him to wear. Mom knows best! some of the time :>
If her friends are not getting one, then don't.
Have her ask her friends..... then you will know.
It is not a 'Prom.'
As the mother of 5 with several that went to the special dances I can say that she should buy the flower. Even if none of the others are doing it tell her that it will make her date stand out as special. It may be a modern day time but there are still some old fashioned things that are still polite and decent to do. So go ahead and order it for her or go to Michaels and get a silk one to have on hand.
Get ready mom for many more dances and things to come. Please get together with other moms and have what we called a dress exchange party to save money on a dress that is worn only once or twice. We had refreshments, a light dinner and lots of fun.
Good Luck
At my daughter's high school, this was only done for proms but it should be easy enough for your daughter to ask her friends what they are doing. Aren't they all on Facebook?
We didn't really get them for dances other than prom. I never went to winter ball, but that was formal and I still am not sure if people got them. Our homecoming was so informal. I think I wore jean and a black t-shirt. I think she's probably right!!!
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How sweet and fun! Yes, I have seen them with both boutonniere and corsage. Lot's of pictures!!!!
She should ask her friends what they're doing. If memory serves, we only did boutineers for prom too, and that was waaaayyyyy back in the early and mid 80s! There are probably regional and cultural differences as well. If her friends are getting them for their dates, do it and if not, don't worry about it.
You can always call the school and ask them their take on it. I mean, they won't tell you that any certain thing is required, but they can give you a heads up as to what most of the kids do.
Some schools take homecoming pretty seriously as they crown a homecoming king and queen, but lots and lots of kids go to the dances without making such an affair of it.
If your daughter and her male escort and their friends are basically just going as couples and not so much a "date", it might be fine to not order anything.
Did he buy new clothes to dress up? Did she buy a new dress and is getting her hair done, etc?
If you know the boy's mom, I would ask her if she intends to get a corsage because it wouldn't be nice for him to buy one and her not have something for him.
My son's been to several dances where there were no corsages involved, but they were just casual. Dress nice, smell clean, hang out with your friends, go home.
Ask around a little closer to you.
I'm kind of old school and I really like the idea of ordering something. I went to a dance with one of my best friends...(our mom's were friends too), and it was all out proper etiquette. Which was really fun, to be honest. He was like a brother to me, but we still gussied up and had a great time together.
Best of luck and take pictures no matter what!
Have her find out what the rest of the group is doing and then do that. As long as she fits in with her friends that she is going with she'll feel fine. And / Or you could also call the school and ask them what the custom has been in the past few years at the HS.
What a lucky girl to have a such a mom to help her navigate these things!
My girls don't have homecoming dances, but they have a formal prom and a semi-formal dance as well. Others in our area have homecoming & the custom seems to be the same as for the semi. If it's a dressy event (jacket & tie for the young men; "dressy" dress for the young women) then flowers are ordered.
My daughter always orders a boutonniere. A number of couples meet some place before the dance for pictures, etc., & this is where usually flowers are given. Last winter her date didn't order a corsage so she didn't give him the boutonniere she brought. It wasn't spite, it was more to keep him from feeling awkward. I thought it was very gracious -- and the right thing to do. Perhaps your daughter can try that? Get one (a simple, single red or white rose is lovely & inexpensive) and have it available (maybe you can have it in a bag nearby); if he brings a corsage, she offers the boutonniere. If not, no harm no foul.
BTW-- pinning those little suckers on is tricky, especially for a young lady already feeling a little self-conscious about her first homecoming dance. Show her how it's done & let her practice at home before she greets her date. Take lots of pictures -- and tell her to have a blast!
My sons went to all the dances at the highschool. Yes a boutineer is still in order if he is wearing a suit and tie. and yes he should be getting her a corsage most of the girls prefer the wrist corsages now as they can wear them without pinning on the dress and also don't have to carry them. You can actually order them almost up till the night before the dance so don't panic about it. But it is part of the fun. So go ahead and do it. Hope she has a wonderful time.
We only did boutineers for formal's (prom, winter formal, etc). Have her ask her friends what they are doing, so she's not the odd one out. =)
Yes, it is still common to order a boutineer for the guys for homecoming and prom. You can go to any florist or Safeway does a really good job and they cost less than some florists. I hope she has a fun time.
I'd have her ask her friends what they plan to do. It's been a while, but when I was in high school boutineers and corsages were worn for any dance that was formal. If the guys are wearing suits, then we got boutineers/corsages.
I'm not really familiar with the customs either, but would guess that erring on the more formal side of getting the boutineer is the best bet. If she and her date see that it isn't appropriate once they get to the dance, it could easily be removed.
If it's a "formal" where the guy is wearing a tux, then yeah, maybe a boutineer, but other than that, probably not.
If she doesn't think it's the right thing, then don't push it. It'll just make her weird about giving it to him. It's not the end of the world if they go without flowers pinned to them and then she'll know.
She could also just ask someone. :-)
T.
I feel old...I'm only 22 and always got them for the guys I went to dances with, and They always got me a corsage. Or how ever that maybe spelled! Good luck! Tell her to have fun! =)
It completely depends on the school and "local" custom (meaning; what all the other kids do regardless of what the school rules are). My cousin's school, they absolutely not only had corsages and boutonnières at every dance, but they also had dress codes for the boys, that varied with each dance. White tie, black tie, semiformal, etc. My niece's school, corsages are only for the prom... and the guys wear jeans and teeshirts even to the prom.
My daughter is a senior and Homecoming is a pretty formal dance here. Her friends do boutineers and corsages. Tell her to have a blast, be safe!
