I hope this question gets answered soon, since its time sensitive ! :)
My 16 year old son asked a girl from his high school out to the homecoming dance several weeks ago. She said yes. The dance is tonight. Things initially were great, but the past week or so, things have gotten weird between them, they haven't been talking much, seems awkward to be around her, giving my son the cold shoulder, etc. My son wishes now he never asked her at all, but he said he's a man of his word and will follow through with it.
The girl texted him this morning and said that she and my son should go out to dinner to a place (with another couple) and then go to the dance. She said it shouldn't be too expensive, maybe $ 10.00 a person and asked if he was paying for her or they were paying themselves. He texted back he would pay for her. It all seems a bit unorganized to me - I guess they are all meeting at the restaurant ?
Eons ago when we were in high school - I don't know the protocol these days - the guy would buy the girl a corsage - is this something that is still expected ? I don't think it ever dawned on him, but it just did to me - and now want to do whatever is the correct thing (let him know one way or another). I know he probably doesn't want to spend any more money after buying the tickets to the dance and the dinner - especially on a girl that isn't treating him to nice..... So just wondering if you think he needs to go out and do this, or is this some archaic tradition no longer practiced ?? I have no idea, as this is the first dance like this he is going to.
Any other advice or anything on this subject would be appreciated, thanks for your prompt reply !
Well, I am quite upset and sad for my sweet son..... In the end he bought a single rose for the girl he asked out. This girl showed up at the restaurant with her girlfriend and her date to Homecoming (the 3 of them arrived together). They all went into the restaurant, ate, he paid for the girl as planned. She already was acting strange in the restaurant, not making any conversation, not saying a single thing. The four of them went to the dance, this girl danced 1-2 times with him and took off with another guy that she liked and was 'good friends with' she told my son, 'oh he's my friend and came stag and doesn't have a date, so I am going to dance with him' and I guess never came back - oh, and before that, this B&tch of a girl told my son that she wanted him to pay for the photo they take at the dance ($ 15.00, which he had no intention of taking with her, yet she convinced him to do it 'as everyone was getting them,' and of course he did so foolishly footing the bill for this, not even wanting a photo with her). The whole night, from the dance to the dinner, to the photo, not once did this girl Ever say thank you.... In the end, after about 90 minutes at the dance he couldn't stand being there anymore and left - alone. I guess the other guy that was in this party of 4 also was blown off by his date. This was supposed to be a 3 hour dance, but I picked my son up after 90 minutes.... This girl never gave a damn about him and never even called/texted to see what happened or where he went. Its sad for me to see this as a mother, this is the second time he has gone out on a date like this and both times the girls used him for a free dinner, and were nasty. I cannot believe what kind of world is this anymore ? Are girls that desperate to use a guy for things, and have no conscience about their nasty actions ? My son is losing hope in the female race, saying he never will go out again while in high school -- I can't blame him..... To any mothers out there with teenage daughters, please teach them manners, etiquette, to be grateful and show thanks, be polite and kind, and don't do things knowingly to hurt someone else....I think more of this needs to be discussed by the parents to their kids.
Well thanks for all the advice about the corsage/or no corsage. I guess from what he told me he said most girls did NOT have a corsage, he saw maybe 3 or so with them....too bad he wasted money on a rose for this bimbo, he should have given her a bouquet of carnations :)
my older son always had a corsage for the girl....even the one who dumped him at the door after he paid for her!
2nite is my younger son's 1st Homecoming. He's meeting friends there - hooray, no date! A very good thing...
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Thank goodness you are not in Texas, you and your son would be in a heap of troubles with the mum situation! Fortunately for you guys, the mums are a TX only thing :)
I would go with a pretty single stem with school colors for ribbons. She might realize what a gentleman she is snubbing her nose at!
Where I'm from, homecoming was never a big formal go-all-out kind of dance..corsages were only for prom. I'd say skip it, unless he wants to give her a single long stem rose..what are his friends doing?
I won't even pretend to know what they do now...I would just have him text a guy friend who will be part of the group and ask if they are doing this? They probably aren't...
Your son sounds like a nice guy who has been raised well; kudos to him for following through. I hope my daughter hangs out with guys like him when she's ready to date!
No Corsage... No Corsage!!!
I'm a florist so I know the drill. LOL. A single flower is fine. A rose, a sunflower, just not a carnation. She will feel akward if she's the only one with a corsage and not want to hurt his feelings by not wearing it.
Definitely get a corsage. A wrist corsage. If you don't know the color of her dress get white if you still can. Get on the phone as they may not be available.
If it were me, I'd pay for the corsage and get a small one. Teen drama is a normal thing. Don't worry too much and just go with it. They could be madly in love by the end of their date...... or not speaking. LOL! Either way, your son will be creating a memory/story.
After viewing other answers........ maybe corsages aren't traditional in your area. I just know they were here. Call a friend who is also going and get the scoop........ preferably a girl.
I would say yes to a small coursage. The least expensive is Jewel flowers choose a town who doesn't have homecoming tonight and pick up something simple.
Sounds like he didn't know her well, she agreed and now friends have talked to her or she had another offer and was told she had to stick by this first one. So he should go and make the best of it as her dress is already bought and cancelling now unless he is actually ill would not be good.
For these dances usually best if they go in a group of friends/w a friend unless they have had a long relationship with one specific person as there is too much pressure in this setting to see if you like someone.
The below may not be the exact answer you are looking for but I just googled Home Coming Dance Etiquette today and this popped up. I loved Susan L. answer about not pretending to know... Too many times we want to be the expert. I have to add that I have no idea either & my best friend has been a florist for many years. Good luck!
By the way... now a group goes all together or even a group of girls meet at the PROM... And it is not weird if a bunch of girls get up and dance whenever they feel like it... no need to wait for a boy to ask you to dance if you feel inclined to get up and so withou an invitation, they just do it! And it is so NOT formal the way we remember things! How old do I feel now??? lol.
But anyway, you can google anything now days and if you just keep your question to the pertinent words you can pretty much ask anything and get some kind of an answer!! Please let us know how it turns out!
http://www.ehow.com/about_###-###-####_high-school-homeco...
I think he should ask the other guys what they are doing, and maybe ask an upperclassman what was done last year. I think it's nice that he offered to pay for her but it shows a lack of social graces on her part to send him a text on the subject! However, maybe she was waiting for him to take the lead - perhaps her cold shoulder is because of the type of person she is, or maybe she expected more from him and he just doesn't know the traditions in the school. I'd give him a couple of questions to ask, and then let him ask a few trusted guy friends what the protocol is. He could also contact her and ask her what she would like to do. It may cost him some money but at least it will be a learning experience!
These things vary by town so I would have him do some quick research. In general, I think it's best if parents stay out of it other than to suggest some areas he might investigate.
Since every school has its own traditions, is there someone your son or you knows that has gone in the last couple years? They may know what the expectation is for the guy for his school. Maybe your son has a friend with an older sibling that can advise him. In my day, flowers were bought for both the girl and the boy, but things and schools are all different now. If all else fails, he could ask his friends what they are doing for their dates. Take pictures--his wife will enjoy them in 20 years!
In our area, corsages and formalwear are just for the prom in the spring, not for the homecoming dance.
Oh, first of all.....
kids this age can be weird about the whole prom or dance thing.
"If we go to a dance together, does that mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend? Does it mean I have to kiss you? What does it all mean?"
That could explain some of the weirdness.
Now, I have a 16 year old who has yet to ask a girl to a dance, but I think it's appropriate to buy a corsage for the dress or the wrist. Wrist corsages are actually very pretty and then there is no dealing with pinning them on the dress somewhere. I think it is the appropriate thing to do.
To me, it sounds like neither one of them have any idea how things are to go. If they are going to dinner, the boy should pay (especially since it doesn't sound like dinner will be $30 per person) and the boy should get her at least a wrist corsage to coordinate with her dress colors. Does he know what she's wearing?
They are only 16 and they are trying to figure all this out.
It's a date. That's all it is if they aren't established as a couple.
They will both probably be a little nervous, so your son should be a gentleman and as relaxed as possible so they can have a good time.
He will likely have lots of dates in his life and they will all be learning experiences.
I would get a pretty wrist corsage. I would.
I hope they can get over their nerves and have a great time!
Best wishes.
Ignore the teen drama and teach him these things happen and to just be as mature about it as possible. Hopefully her parents will tell her the same thing.
Yes, it would be nice for her to have a corsage. If it is too late to find one, make her a small nosegay (small bouquet) of flowers to carry. She can leave them in the car during the dance or carry them. It would be nice if he could attach a small card with the date and thank her for attending with him with his signature. I have the notes that young men gave me with flowers. So cute to look at them now and see the dates and names..
Well my daughter's Homecoming dance is tonight. The game was last night.
Since the mums are a huge tradition in TX, the group she is going with (5 couples) met on Thursday night to exchange mums and the girls bought the dinner (about $10pp). On Friday, everyone wore the mums to school, this includes the guys with the mum garters on their arms. Everyone wore the mums to the game last night, except my daughter cheers for a rival school and she was cheering and could not go to the HC game of her bf's school with him last night. Mums and/or corsages are not worn to the dance.
Fast forward... today.. Everyone is meeting at 4:15, a limo has been arranged and will pick up all the teens (5 couples I think) (boys are splitting the limo bill) and will take them to a nice steak restaurant (boys pick up this tab which is appx $25pp) and then the limo will have them at the dance by 9, back to their cars at the designated area by midnight. THEN, everyone will change clothes, go to the Main Event for Laser tag, then everyone meets at a designated home that is very well supervised and they watch movies, etc, stay up all night safely, and at 6:30 am they go to IHOP.
SO... That is how it is done here, HC is a weekend thing.
As for your son, I'd ask to see what restaurant because this girl has given him the cold shoulder all week now she wants a dinner out of it. That is fine as long as she is being respectful and does not end up at a restaurant which is way more than $10pp. As for the corsage, it is probably late to get one but a plain corsage with school colors here is about $40
That said, I do not know the customs in your area as far as the corsage. I'd ask another parent and then make a decision which would probably be no.
