**Help** - Orange Park,FL

First I would make a decision that I was ready to do it (put her in the crib or bassinet). I know personally that even though I loved having my son next to me, I was always afradi that I would smother him with the covers so I actually slept much better with him in his own bed.
It is okay for her to cry a little (try letting her cry for no more than 5 minutes at a time and soothing her if she continues without picking her up) Babies are amazing at adapting. A few nights and she should be sleeping soundly!

Buy the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Marc Weissbluth. It explains all the cry/no cry/in between options, and tells you how to decide what to use with you situation. It also explains scientifically and physiologically how sleep works. It's a great book that you will refer back to for years.

She might want that close feel she gets when she sleeps with you. With my boy he was 5 weeks early and he was use to having blankets rolled up beside him. So when we got home I ended up doing the same thing for his crib. I rolled up blankets and place at his side and head. He was also use to the noise so I would play Little Einstein music to help get him to sleep. He soon had no trouble sleeping in his own crib after a while.
Hope this helps some.

Dear I., congratulations on your great mothering instincts. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for fathers and mothers to have different thoughts on parenting. This will continue as you co-parent your daughter. Our cultural mores that are not related to what a wealth of research has told us about what is normal for babies as biological creatures make parenting much more difficult. Sleeping with babies is the biological norm. Research shows that when safe co-sleeping is practiced, the risk of SIDS is reduced greatly. No other species expects its vulnerable young to sleep alone for hours at a time. Please check for the research of Dr Sears and james mcKenna to read about the benefits of co-sleeping.

Have you had a conversation with your husband about why he wants the baby to sleep elsewhere? is he getting pressure from family members; is he afraid the baby will become too dependent (for heavens sake, of course she is dependent, she is an infant!); does he want more cuddle time with you etc.? Talk to him with "I" statements, telling him how you feel and why you think this is best. Trust your instincts! So many of our modern parenting guidelines promoted by "experts" teach mothers they must ignore their instincts. But if you can't trust your gut, what can you trust? Gosh, women used to be considered the experts in the matters related to childcare, not professionals who are mostly men! When and why did we abdicate this role to others?

Please do not let your baby cry it out! her crying is her way of telling you that something is wrong. If she is not responded to, she will be unable to fully trust, which is the basis of emotional health and the ability to form healthy relationships with other humans. Again there is a wealth of research in this area that contradicts this method. prolonged crying floods the baby's brain with stress hormones. the brain is then programmed to respond with high levels of stress hormones to relatively minor future stresses. These hormones affect crucial areas of the baby's forming brain that affect emotion and impulse control. An infant's brain is a work in progress and undergoes a tremendous amount of growth in the first year; at one year it will be 70% of its adult size! How we care for our infants determines how their brains develop for a lifetime, for good or ill.

I urge you to contact your local La leche league. They have lots of books you can check out for free that will help you learn more about what babies really need. A good book that I love is called "Our babies, Ourselves". There is an excellent book you can get from LLL that is now out of print claled "Mothering and fathering: The gender differences in parenting."

I am very disturbed by all of the references to Baby Wise. This is the only parenting method that has been condemned by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and can be dangerous for babies both emotionally and physically. Great online sources for information about breastfeeding and responsive parenting are kellymom.com and flca.info. (FLCA stands for Florida lactation Consultant Association).There is a good link from the FLCA site that explores Baby Wise in detail.

I have posted a number of times on topics related to this; if you wish you can go to the files and read other posts I have written. I have been a parenting educator for 25 years and I am a board certified lactation consultant. As a new mom it is very difficult to know what is the right thing to do. Others can tell you what worked or didn;t work for them, but you know your baby and yourself better than anyone else. If she tells you she needs you, listen to her and trust her. She will develop and become more independent at her own pace. This is so important; please take the time to learn what the research shows concerning what human babies truly need from their caregivers. Go to the link below and read this great article to start your own research:

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/baby_borrowers.html

Good luck to you!

J.

I thought I would answer because I probably I have a different take on this than most...

I am a mom who doesn't like to have my kids (5) in my bed. My husband is the smae way. Both of us agree that we give up so much for our children (and should!), but when it comes to sleep, we are better parents if we are we are not sllep-deprived, which we (I especially), tend to get when I share my bed with a child (any age). They do sleep with me the first few months because they are nursing so much at night that I would rather just roll over and plop a boob in their mouth than walk down the hall to their room 12 twelve times a night! But once they are old enough to sleep all night (6 or more hours) without eating (and I determine this by knowing how they eat all day and other signs), then I train them to sleep on their own. HOWEVER... I don't think that this is the ONLY right way so why on earth would you care about what other people think?!? If you, baby and hubby are perfectly happy this way, why do you even consider changing it? Their are no proven studies that it's bad for them. In fact all the "older" studies that said SIDS was more prevalent in co-sleeoing infants have since been determined to be untrue (I think), so who cares. Whats best for your baby is what makes you the best parent to her. If your little one is in no danger, then why change it if your happy with it?
I will say that the longer you wait to change it, the harder it gets, but if you have no intention of ever changing, then this doesn't matter.

Don't woryy about what others say. Be cinfident in your decision. It matters not at all to me that some think I am "cruel" and harming my children by letting them cry to learn to fall asleep alone. I am confident that this is the right decision for my child, and for me as thir mom. You need this same confidence for yourself.

You ask "what do you do?" I'll tell you what. Be confideant in your ability to make your own decisions as a mother. This will help you be the best mom you can be! You can do it!! ~C.~

here is my advice. My daughter is 2 months old and we had a smiliar problem. She would fall alseep on me or my husband and if we moved her she would wake up so she just slept on us the whole night or right next to us. We wanted to break this habit just so we wouldnt worry so much, so every day whenever she fell asleep for naps and at night we would put her in her bassinet. Leave her alone for afew minutes, see what she does, if she really starts to cry pick her up, get her to go back to sleep and try again. I wont say its not exhausting, i had to do it 4 and 5 times in an hour, but she finally got the hang of it and now most of the time she sleeps just great in her bassinet. Also what really helped was i bought a sleep positioner (target has them) so she would still feel snug and that works great. I hope this will help you.

I am not a fan of crying it out at all! But for some reason the daddies seem to default to that! Even if you choose that, 3 months is way too young. Maybe if you do some research on co-sleeping your hubby will understand that your daughter won't be co-sleeping when she's 40. Our son co-slept for about 5 months and then we were waking each other so we made the transition to his bed. Take a look at "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and "The Baby Whisperer" Both discuss good ways to establish routines so everyone sleeps peacefully. It's also a matter of reading different ideas and seeing what works for your family. She may also really benefit from swaddling. My son was a preemie and I swaddled him until he was almost 5 months old. Also I found with him that once I could get him into a nap routine the nighttime fell into place but your little one is still very young so you have to take all that into account.

I.,

Here is an idea for you, try placing a shirt that you have worn for a few hours, in her bassinet next to her. She may just want to smell your scent. This has worked for both of my younger two children plus a friends baby. Sounds strange, but it has worked for me.

Enjoy your little one, they are only that size once,

J. W

Hi I.,

Nikki's idea about putting the bassinet close to your bed so you can reach out and touch her is a good idea. However, if you don't see a problem with her sleeping in your bed, I personally don't see a problem either. Cultures all over the world still practice this with no stigma.

I have friends that said it was a bad idea too, but I have come to find out, most of these particular friends had their kids in their bed also, lol. You will get both sides of the issue in this forum. Take the information and then do what YOU think is best.

It's cool to see why we all believe what we believe, and why we do what we do. Congratulations on your little one!

God bless!

M.

my advice to you is to start putting her in her crib. When she cries go to her and see what she wants. She might just want to know that you will be there for her. It might mean a lot of restless nights, but if you don't want her to sleep with you and your husband anymore then that is the way to go. Once she starts to get used to her crib and she still cries just for you to be there and that is it, (she isn't hungry or dirty) then use the cry herself to sleep method. I am a firm believer. She learns to fall asleep by herself and not you. It shows her how to be independent, plus you get sleep. My son (4 months) just started crying himself to sleep and he goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up at 5:30 for a bottle and then back to sleep till about 9:00. Letting them fall asleep on their own works. If you need more help...let me know.

I had the same problem with my second child. (The first one was a breeze- we did "Baby Wise" by the Ezzo family.) The second was more of a challenge. A lot of it is personality. She really never slept. We moved to Little Rock when she was 2 1/2. She never really got used to being by herself at night or any time for that matter! Partly I am sure because I did just what you are doing..letting her sleep in between my spouse and I just to get some rest. I know it is tough but try to let your baby cry a bit in the crib. If they can take it (and you too), he/she may eventually learn that that is where they sleep. My second child is now 5 and we remedied the problem of sleeping with us to sleeping with her sister. They share a room and bed to solve the problem. Works great right now and it was the only way we survived in Little Rock since their rooms were upstairs. They share the bonus room here in FL and it is great- it is fixed up real cute and girly and they love it (right now anyways). I am sure her older sister (10) will soon want her own space but while they are still "little" it works great. It makes bedtime so much easier as we can get together as a family for bedtime prayers and singing and storytime (not like we can do it every night, but when we can).
Hope that helps! :) S.

Yes they are right, I understand the sleep thing, but she will get used to the bassinet/crib. put the bassinet right next to your bed, that way you can put your hand in there to offer comfort if needed, but you definately want her used to her bed, or your hubby and you will not have any bedroom privacy! I put both of my children on their tummy when they had a hard time sleeping, they were fine. As long as they could lift their heads and/or roll over then they are not so much at risk of SIDS. But sleeping on their tummy helped them stay asleep once I laid them down. Good Luck!

I'm a proud mother of a three year old sweet boy that still sleeps in our bed. Even tough it takes some improvising in my relationship with my husband I believe children sleeping in the family bed gives them security and lots of love.
If you would like to transition you can first try a co-sleeper, a little bed that attaches to the side of your own bed. It is still very close to mommmy and daddy but it is kind of her own bed.
Good luck, J.

3 months old is sooooo tiny! Cherish this time in your life when you get to cuddle her. My son slept in our bed until he was about 5 months, and then didn't go a full night in his own crib til 8 months. Many cultures believe a young infant should always be close to the mother. I think it creates a wonderful bond and is easier for the breastfeeding mom. The only problem is that whyen they get older and more assertive about what they want (6-12 mos.), you may have a hard time getting her to sleep on her own.

She has definitely out-grown the bassinet. Why not wait one more hour after her normal bed time (get her nice and tired) rock her to sleep and lay her down in her crib.

My baby girl would sleep great in her crib and then there was a period where it was just easier for her to sleep with us, but that's not safe, I know. Then it was harder for her to sleep in her crib.

I had to restart the process of her sleeping in her crib again. now I just rock her with soft music (maybe a bottle of warm milk) and she drifts off to sleep and I lay her down. Sometimes she may stir and fuss but I close the door with the music still playing softly and she's asleep in less than 3 minutes! and she sleeps through the night-if only my 3 year old could do that-it would be heaven!

Try the music and rocking...Babies do need to sleep in their own beds for everyone's saftey!!

Good luck!

Wow that is hard, when one of you wants one thing and two of you want something else. I can see the pros of both sides. I think her sleeping in her own bed is something she'll have to do one way or another, eventually.

The advice I have is to try to put her to bed sooner. Try to catch the bedtime window (which, in a baby, is short and may be earlier than you thought.) The Baby Whisperer suggests watching for baby's yawns, and to get her in bed before the third yawn.

Sleeping on her own will seem strange to her, so she'll need to practice. Right now it sounds like she's practicing crying until you come and get her. Is her room environment similar to yours? Is it as dark or light as yours? Are there the same noises? The same smells? You might try letting her sleep with one of your nightgowns (that you've slept in). Can you swaddle her, so she feels tightly snuggled? Does she have a swing she can nap in? This will sound weird, but my son slept in his carseat (buckled so he couldn't roll out of it) in his room for awhile. He loved it because he felt very snug. When she is crying it out, do you go in to reassure her, pat her back, talk to her and tell her it's bedtime now, or do you just go in and pick her up? I would suggest NOT picking her up. Does she have a lullaby CD that you could play softly in her room? Does she use a pacifier? Now might be a good time for a lovey if she doesn't have one. Try different stuffed animals and soft blankets (maybe a silky) and see if she'll "adopt" one to be her comfort when she's alone.

What happens if you pick her up, is that she gets the message that if she crys long enough, you'll go and get her. So she's learning to cry longer and longer instead of learning how to put herself to sleep without you. Essentially you're weaning her out of your presence for bedtime. As with any habit being broken, it should be a gradual process.

Hang in there. Remember you're both new to this whole thing so give yourselves some time to adjust.

There is a book called "On Becoming Babywise." Its amazing. It was given to me when my daughter was 6wks, and both of us not sleeping. I had her in her crib and sleeping through the night in 3 days. I swear by this book. It is pro-cry, but with limits. I started it with my youngest at birth, and she sleeps 12 hours through the night. Goes right into her crib, and just lays down and goes to sleep. Same with my 5 year old, she would go right to sleep too. Have given it to friends and have been told over and over it was the best baby shower presents they ever got!

Good luck!

The best advice I ever received when I fist became a parent was "Do whatever makes your household run smoothly" IF you like to co-sleep, and it works for you, if you are careful about it, no one should judge. they should be walking in your shoes before they do so.
All 4 of my boys slept with me . I slept with them on a double bed in their rooms because my husband did not like to be disturbed. 3 of the 4 were in cribs by 9 months. Not one of them remembers sleeping with me. They are perfectly well-adjusted children who are happy. I didn;t have to suffer, dad didn't have to suffer, they didn't have to suffer. Do what is best for you.

I would get your daughter to the crib as soon as possible. My husband and I used to let our son, now 10, sleep between us as an infant (about 4 months old) and one night I awoke to him crying, but I couldn't find him and he had went to the end of the bed and fell off while we were sleeping. Thankfully he was fine, but we didn't let him sleep with us after that. Can you keep the bassinet attached to the side of the bed? The other thing too is the chance of rolling over on her. Just some things to think about, but it is hard. Good luck!

I went through the same exact thing! I highly suggest getting the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. My baby is now 18 months old and loves to nap and go to bed in his crib. This book will guide you from how to get your newborn sleeping solo all the way to how to get your baby to stop night-waking to nap problems with toddlers. I reference the book all the time. A little hard to get to the meat of the book but worth every bit of time you spend reading it. If memory serves me right though, he doesn't suggest the extinction method (crying it out) until 4 or 5 months of age? Don't quote me on that. It offers different solutions based on what YOU are comfortable with...whether you want to go with extinction, no-cry solutions or middle of the road. Never makes you feel guilty for choosing one solution over the other like Dr. Sears books. My son cried for nearly 2 hours the first night we did the extinction method (and I cried for at least 3 hours while my husband slept through it all). By night two he cried about an hour and by night 3, not a peep and sleeping well ever since. I highly suggest you stick with your gut feelings and GET THE BOOK! Good luck and hang in there, you aren't alone. J. M (30 year old mother of 18 month old boy and baby boy number 2 due in 5 weeks)

Hi I.,

My daugther co-slept with me for her first 3 weeks, but I had to go back to work at 6 weeks and wasn't getting enough rest to handle it all, so I felt she had to sleep in her crib (at night especially). I loved the book, "On Becoming Babywise" and it's advice about schedules really helped me, as a working mom. Each situation and set of Moms/babes are unique and you have to follow your gut and your instincts... only you know what's right for your girl! But it worked great for me and my girl, now almost 27 months, is a champion sleeper still! :)

Good luck, sounds like you're doing great already!!
K.

Hey I.

I hear ya--it's so hard at first. Things will get better for all of you. Our son will be a year next month. We started out with him between us in bed, propped up. He wasn't a huge fan of the bassinet so that didn't last long. At two months we started putting him in his crib. My hubby & I took turns with him but the nights were short up until our son was about 8 months. Even when the baby slept well I was still getting 2-5 a night. Thankfully it came to an end. Once we started making sure he ate well before bed it improved for everyone. I wouldn't let your daughter cry it out at this age. If she'll stop after 5-10 min. then I'd feel differently. That's just me. You are her mother so you will know what's best for her & your family. As far as other methods, I would say if you have an extra room/bed for the two of you to take turns with her. I know it sounds odd but at least you will both have the chance for a good night.
P.S. Definitely get rest when you can during the day if the nights aren't going well. I wish I'd taken everyone's advice sooner (:

I hear you (about everyone sleeping)however your husband has a point. Try putting something of yours in the crib with her so she can still smell you. You also might have to let her cry for a bit - eventually she will settle down. God Bless, A. (mom of 3)

I.,
We had each of our babies sleep with us for a couple of years each and it was fine. However, we recently adopted a baby boy, now 10 months old, and he sleeps in a crib. His foster mom trained him to sleep in it and now he sleeps really well in the crib for us. It is a nice change after 3 children sleeping with us. If it weren't for lack of sleep, I would say stick out the crying and eventually she will give in. I know how much you value every bit of sleep you can get, so I am hesitant to say you definately should do this, however, it is another story when trying to wean a child from your bed--very hard work. It would be worth the week or two of letting her cry it out (as long as she knows you are there) and then having the peace instead of months of weaning her from your bed. Maybe hubby can give you a hand with it if he really wants her out of your bed. Also, wrap her in her blanket well, without covering her face of course, so she feels safe and secure. If you chose to keep her in your bed, be prepared for a tough time of weaning when you're tired of being kicked and jabbed every night (when she is older). God Bless You!

move her bed into your room and get her to sleep in it. Yhen start moving it out and into her room

Hi I.,

You truly have to do what's best for you. i used a sleep and play bed and you know it worked for us. yes, she was in our room and close to our bed, but not in it. From day one she was put on a four hour feeding schedule and i made sure she was fresh and dry by eight (by the johnson & johnson bedtime bath stuff works!!!!)gave her a bottle and by 8:30 she was sound asleep until 12:30am she had another bottle and did not wake up until 4:30 or 5 and that was from day one including hospital!!! As she got older we were able to drop the top part of the sleep and play and she would take her naps in the bottom of it, and if she was fussy and tired i did not have to rock her to sleep just put her in her bed and out she went. She is 2 1/2 now and sleep in her big girl bed. only when she is sick she comes and get in the bed with us. you have to start now and not when she is 4 or 5. hope that this can help you. AGAIN Johnson & johnson Bedtime Stuff really work!!! lol lol

Hi I. B.

COngrat on your new baby. Being a first time mom is a biggest experience you can get. As far for your new baby to sleep alone is a hard part but try to see if you an be sure she is comfortable in her clothe and be sure the bed is comfortable too. Sometime a crib or bassinet is not a comfortable place for her so it depend on the child. ALway check on her temperture,be sure she is fed before lay her down, clothes not too tight or too loose, be sure her room in right temerture that not too cold or too hot. Try to put her to sleep that she is really sleepy in her own routine. What day do she take a nap or go to bed. Teach her to go to sleep on her own and wait for abut 5-10 minutes before you go back to check on her so she will know you are still here. The more you lay her down while she in the sleepy mood lay her down and let her sleep on her own. the more you do it the more she will get used to it. So try see if that help. I does the same for my kids when they was small and it work. Good luck. S. P.

I had a similar problem, but my daugher was cloaser to 8 or 9 months old. She would go down in her crib and then when she woke for her bottle at night I would keep her in the bed with us. Her dad left us for about 3 months, and when he came back for he was the one that had to break her. I couldnt take the crying, it was very heartbreaking. So I would go to bed and he would put her down. I didnt keep the monitors on. And he slept in the living room, it was closer to her room and if she started to cry he would comfort her and lay her back down, but he wouldnt take her out or anything. Of course by this time she is almost a yr old so she wasnt needing to feed in the middle of the night anymore, it was just out of habit that she was still waking up. We only had to do it 2 nights and then it was fine after that. I know your daughter is a lot younger, but I would say make a plan and stick to it. As harsh as it might sound, she will be be in harms way by crying herself to sleep. Make a routine and do it every night...dinner, bath, story and some rocking or songs and you know tell her its time to go to bed (I know she doesnt understand but its the point of routine and making it known every night) her body will begin to recognize the signals and signs and fall into place. And since you are probably still giving her a bottle or breast at night, feed her in her room and then put her back down. It will be better if you take care of it now rather than later. it does wear on a relationship with the two not seeing eye to eye. But it will benefit both parties to work on it now. It might take a week or two but when its done you will be glad. A night light helps in the room too. And if she stirs some after laying her down...you can go in a pat her on her bottom or do the "sssshhh" noise but dont pick her up because she will want that everytime and know if she crys enough someone will pick her up. Its hard...but you can do it.

You have to do what works for you. There are so many people out there who want to tell you how to do it but the truth is that what works for you and your family is best.

That being said, I am a true beliver in my babies sleeping in thier own beds. I love sleeping with them and having them close but I also love my sleep. What I found with my first is that we went through a bunch of different sleep issues. At different stages in her life we would be doing different things to either get her to sleep or keep her asleep. Things like illness, teething, moving or toilet training all factored into the stages. What was most important for us was to be consistant and she got the message. After an illness when she would come sleep with us, or what ever it was that interupted the routine, we would go back to what we were doig before and stick with it.

I have heard many stories of children co-sleeping with parents but the worst one was a 7y.o. who was still sleeping with mom and dad. The parents were having difficulty in their relationship and were using the child as a crutch. With a 7 year old in bed there was no space for closeness between the parents and there was deffinatly no intamacy. This is extreem and really has no relation to what you are talking about other than the closeness and intamacy between you and your husband.

I recently read a book called Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks old written by Suzy Giordano. I found it helpful. It was a quick read and easy to use. One of the things I liked about it was the fact that she believed in an adaptation of the cry it out method. It felt less harsh and cruel.

Good luck. Don't worry you will get through this and your sweet baby will change and give you yet another hurdle to jump.
D.

Dear I.,

Let me say I am not an expert in this but a very wise nurse gave this advise to me once and it has worked many times for me. I work in the medical field and noticed you mentioned your baby girl was born 5 weeks early. Try taking a soft blanket or something soft and place it between her head and the top of the crib just so it touches the top of her head. She is responding just like she should and most people forget about the 5 week early part. This feeling is though she is still in the womb and it will calm her down. Please try not to let her cry it out just yet. It is healthly to let them cry sometimes just for a couple of minutes to release energy but not every time they are trying to go to sleep. It also may benefit you to put her in a pouch and carry her close to you or let your husband try it also just a little while prior to putting her to bed. She is also adjusting to not having you around. Remember her real age and that she is still not really suppose to be in the real world so babies born early sometimes respond different than we would like. If you make it a habit of putting her in your bed she most likely will want to stay there... a long time. I hope you receive the advice you need...even if this one is not it. Books are great but usually the best thing is trying whatever until you find what works for your baby. Please let us know how things are going.

Having had 2 children, I've discovered every child is different and you just need to do whatever gets you through this stage. DD #2 was breastfed for 1 year and for the first few months she was in a bassinet by our bed. She went into her crib soon after that, and has a twin bed in her room that I'd sleep in during the middle of the night when woke to feed...so we did a little bit of co-sleeping and . Yes, you should include your husband's needs, but a baby is more dependant on you and there is a way to fulfill both! 3 months old is WAY too young to "cry it out"...she is too young to "manipulate" with her crying and is doing it for a physical reason...either she is hungry, or uncomfortable. Swaddling our youngest helped a TON. I totally disagree with another poster who suggested giving cereal...most pediatricians do not recommend solids until they are 6 months old and there is no proven link to feeding solids and sleeping better. My kids both started sleeping for 8 hour stretches once they were 9-10 months old...and they now both go to bed at 7:30pm and sleep for a minimum of 12 hours (and I have a 18month old and 7 year old)...so they are now GREAT sleepers.

Hi I. :) At three months, I was spoon feeding my son some cereal before bed and he would sleep like a log. It didnt matter where he was, he would fall asleep. He liked his bassinet because since he was born he was always sleeping in either the bassinet or the crib. It really is just all about how you accustom them. If she has trouble falling asleep period, try spoon feeding an ounce or two of some rice cereal mixed with milk or formula. Put her is the bassinet and the crying should be less.. until she gets used to it, at least this way, she may fall asleep faster and deeper. remember that the union between your husband and yoursef is very important, bedtime is your time to be with eachother, even if its just snuggling. I would imagine hubby feels a bit pushed out with baby in the middle. good luck!

I.,
Have you tried swaddling your daughter? I was given The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp for Christmas and it's been a God send as far as helping my 3 month old son sleep. We have 5 dogs so he's never been in bed with us but he did sleep with me in the living room for the first month and a half. He's in his crib now with a posistioner. He's always swaddled to sleep and he's sleeping between 5-8 hours per night straight. We've been using the Boppy swaddlers (order online from target.com) and he's happy as a clam. Once your daughter gets used to sleeping in her crib you can ease her out of the swaddle. I highly recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block book. Just a suggestion. Let me know how it goes! Good luck!

try to give her a soothing bath

The only concern i ever had with moms who co-sleep is God-forbid you roll on the baby or the blankets & pillows some how in the night cover her little mouth & nose. It would keep me up half the night checking on my baby. I always had the bassinet right next to the bed for breastfeeding purposes & my hand their belly (3 babies). Then when they were getting too big for the bassinet -- about 4 months? or so, I'd move them to their crib in the other room. But I still wanted to be close (really about the mommy). I would sleep sometimes in the room on an extra bed in there.
It is really up to the mom & what the mom & dad want. I know other cultures do lots of things -- but you don't need to justify to anyone. Just keep the baby safe & keep you & your husband happy......and a happy family will follow.

p.s. With all three of my babies (now they are 7,5,3), I would nap in the recliner & have the boppy pillow around my middle and my little angels on top. We'd nap each day together like that when they under 6 months or so. And I had LOTS of people tell me not to do that....that nap time will be harder when I stop doing that. But those naps are some of my most precious memories I had.....baby safe -- cuddled to my chest....zzzzzzz

They make a little bassinet type thing that goes on the said of the parents bed - with an opening to the parent bed - that way she is out of your bed and literally beside you while sleeping. I am sure you can buy locally somewhere - but I have seen them on line at One Step Ahead baby products.

I didn't read all of the other responses so this may have already been mentioned.

Try wrapping her tightly in a blankie like an eggroll. There is also a blankie on the market that is one piece with what looks like a pocket at the bottom for baby's feet and then the sides wrap around the baby and it velcroes to stay secure. We got one like that for a baby gift and it was the ONLY way my youngest son would sleep in his crib. Our came from Belk's. Hope that helps some. Goodluck.

It sounds like you want your bed back to being a restful and intimate place just for you and your husband...of course you should have it. Your baby is definitely old enough for her own bed, but because she is unfamiliar with it, she is going to not like it. Start getting her used to it when she is well rested, fed and in a playful mood. Put her in the bed you want her to sleep in and softly talk, read, play, etc. with her there. This will help her learn that it is a safe place. Gradually leave her to "play" there on her own for up to 15 minutes at a time, several times a day over the course of 3-5 days. When it is her time to take a nap or go to bed for the night, follow your routine, laying her down in her bed. If she cries, let her cry for 5 minutes, then go to her and reasure her that things are fine. Leave the room for another 5 minutes. All along, remain calm and self assured that she is safe and okay. She will get the vibe from you and calm down, too. She will, I repeat, will, learn to go to sleep there, accepting it as her place sleep. It takes patience and commitment to do this, but if you really want to have your baby sleep in her own bed, you have to commit to it. I am the mother of four, and I experienced something similar to this with my first child, too. Once I figured out teaching my first to sleep in her own bed, the other three have not been a problem. Once you succeed, you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Good luck!
Another trick to help comfort your little one is to cover her with your shirt that you wore that day or the day earlier as a blanket...your sent will help her feel you are near by.