Sleeping Alone in Crib

Updated on January 10, 2009
N.E. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

Hi all,

My 2 1/2 month old infant has been co-sleeping with us since birth. We are attempting to get him to sleep in his bassinet/crib, but he wakes up every time we put him down. He pulls my heartstrings when he looks up at us crying and screaming to be held. We want him in his bed and welcome any suggestions on how to facilitate this. Thanks in advance for the advice.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

Swaddling is a good idea and put him down awake or sleepy but not asleep. He will get used to the idea of going to sleep by himself. My son is 8 months and still cries when i put him down for a nap or bedtime, but its only for 30 seconds or so, just to tell me he doesnt like it, but then he falls asleep or watches his mobile until he falls asleep. If he cries longer than 10 minutes, i would pick him up or comfort him in his crib, then try again. Try a mobile or something like that also. It may distract him until he falls asleep.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

This came later for us, my son slept in his crib from day one, but we did have to do the cry out method as he got to be 11 mos. or so. As a parent it is extremely difficult to listen to your baby cry... But this thought got me through it. THEY WILL NOT REMEMBER THE CRYING...they are not hurt, and will get over it very quickly. In my opinion, You are better off getting the baby used to their own environment early. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,

I would recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has a whole list of suggestions as to how to best transition from co-sleeping to crib.

Best,
R.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.O.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,

I give the same advice to everyone with a small baby and sleeping...are you swaddling him? He likes the safe warm closeness of co-sleeping...swaddling gives them the effect of being in utero...worth a try...worked like a charm for both our kids...good luck on going back to work and congrats on the new little one!

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Put the bassinet next to your bed so you can sleep with your arm in it. You can pat him when he starts to cry or just let him sleep with your hand on his little body. Remember if you ever have another child to not start out with baby sleeping with you. It's a hard habbit to break because he knows after a few days or weeks that you're right there.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

N. - Our second (currently 11 mos) would not sleep unless he was next to me or on me until he was 5 months old. It was almost overnight that, voila, he could be nursed to sleep and would stay if I got out of bed. Of course you can't do that in a crib, but maybe when he reaches 4-5 months, when babies sleep patterns begin to form, you may be able to set him in the crib after he's asleep and he won't stir enough to wake.

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

I know how you feel. My son just now (3.5 yrs) started sleeping in his own bed (toddler bed) all the way through the night. Before that he was on and off in our bed or his crib. We did cosleeping when we first brought him home because I was a big pile of mush whenever he cried :( He was just not happy sleeping by himself until recently.

With my son, I tried to use a pack n play bassinette for the first few months. He hated it. And to tell you the truth it didn't seem all that comfortable either. That was when the "family bed" came into play.

For my next child, due this May, I am plannig to get an Arms reach co-sleeper. It is the kind of cosleeper that sits next to your bed at bed height. It does not come into your bed, but you can reach over and touch the baby or move the baby to breastfeed. I have heard lots of good reviews of it.

What also helped my son sleep for longer lenths of time in his crib (usually for naps) was a sleep positioner. The foam padded wedges on either side of him helped him to feel safe (like being held) when he was very little.

Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

N.,
My son hated his bassinet since birth and so began the co-sleeping. My mom suggested putting a comforter under the sheet to make his bassinet softer (similar to our mattress). Slowly he started to sleep more and more in the bassinet. He's now 9 mos old and there are still nights when I'm so tired that I pull him in bed with us to get those precious hours of sleep before work. In the end trust your mother's intuition and do what you need to do.

good luck!
K.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

they make a sleep positioned with a heart beat sounds, maybe the noise and motion will help comfort him.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

At that age, our daughter would only sleep alone if swaddled very tightly. Try the miracle blanket - it worked wonders for us! (You can google the miracle blanket). At 2.5 months, your baby is not old enough to "cry it out" yet. The sleep books I have read indicate that babies cannot soothe themselves to sleep until 4 to 6 months. Try reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth and/or Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber. Good luck!

R.S.

answers from Chicago on

You're probably going to get more sleep after you go back to work if you keep co-sleeping. My son woke up every few hours to nurse and I never really had to wake up.

No solutions, both my kids preferred to be held/co-sleep. My toddler at 3 now sleeps just fine through the night.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

Swaddling does help; also timing his bedtime and putting them down awake. I can't remember the exact schedule, but it was something like every 2.5 hours like clockwork. Usually by the time they seem sleepy, they're a little overtired and wake up when they hit the bed. The Weissbluth or Ferber sleep books are good at describing the sleep cycles - even if you don't subscribe to the idea of sleep training or whatever, it is really helpful to understand what's going on with their sleep cycles.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

try putting him down for naps first, to get him used to it. The other big thing you can do is to put something of YOURS into the crib - like a shirt you wore the previous day. Your bed smells like you and this is very comforting for your little one. Putting a shirt of mine down was the only way I could get my daughter to have anything to do with her co-sleeper (versus in our bed). Good luck back at work, too!!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Remember it's your needs that have changed, not your baby's. It should absolutely pull at your heartstrings to not meet his normal and valid need to be held by you and sleep close to you :) Your instincts here are not to be ignored, but listened to and honored for your sake and your baby's. I understand your desire to prepare for a transition back to work, and that's all the more reason to preserve as much closeness and connection as you can through your nighttime parenting. You hear all about bad habits etc with extended co-sleeping, yet the research and my personal experience can attest to it resulting in close family connections and secure, well-adjusted children.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.-
Totally agree with the swaddling...my daughter was always in a bassinet/crib, but slept better swaddled. Try using the Kiddapotamus wrap. It's easier than using the blankets. I've also heard of taking a heating pad to the crib/bassinet to warm up where he will be laying. They like the warmth and being swaddled he may sleep better. I also recommend the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" for putting him to sleep. If he goes down pretty drowsy or asleep, he may not wake up so quickly. The books methods worked wonders with my daughter. Hang in there!!

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