2 Month Old Sleeping in the Bed with Us......

I have to tell you that my son slept with me from the day we came home from the hospital until he was 8 months old. Everyone kept telling me what I was doing was wrong, but when I did put him in his crib, he never put up a fight. When they are so young, they need the feel of their mother and need to be held. My advice is to do what you feel is right because only you will have to deal with consequences later.

My son was co-sleeping with me from birth until about a week ago. I loved it and so did he...special bonding time and it did make my life a whole lot easier. My friends used to yell at me for it, because they all did it and their sons or daughters are still in the bed with them at 1 and 6 yrs of age. My son, who is now 6 months old, has just started sleeping in his crib and though I am having difficulties with him waking (which he was doing in the bed with me anyways) he falls asleep just fine and I think he likes it in his crib better. Keep co-sleeping for now because as I know it is such a joy having him in the bed with you, and you'll know when it's the right time to transfer him in to his crib.

My son slept with us until he was 3 months old (off and on), then he went to the cradle, and then at 5 months he was in his crib. I don't think you should continue the co-sleeping behavior when he is older, but at this age I don't see a problem!

I don't think it is a bad thing. You have to do what you feel is right. Go with your instincts. If you feel you are doing the right thing then chances are, you are. I hope this helps.

R.,
YOU ARE THE MOM, THE CHOICE IS YOURS NOT THEIRS. I FOUND THAT MY BOND WITH MY BABY WAS SO MUCH STRONGER WHEN I LET HIM SLEEP WITH US. STATISTICS SHOW THAT BABIES ARE LESS LIKELY TO DIE FROM SIDS BECAUSE BABIES WILL MIRROR YOUR BREATHING. EVERYONE WILL HAVE AN OPINION BUT ONE THING TO REMEMBER IS THIS CHILD IS YOURS AND ONLY YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND KNOW WHAT IS BEST. GOOD LUCK. C.

R., you alone know what is best for you, your baby, and your family. Follow your instincts! And hang in there, it does get better! :-)

One of the best things you can do is have your precious little one sleep with you. You are far from doing a bad thing; you are doing the right thing for your family. Your ped can take a hike! Your child will be much more well adjusted and confident knowing that his parents are a reach away at night during this time in his life. And remember . . . it does not last forever, so cherish it!

My advice would be to find a new doctor who views things your way, that's what I did. My son (now 3 1/2yo) slept in my bed until about 10 mos or so. However, when I wanted to make the transition into his own crib, he kept waking up. So, I put a mattress onto the floor of his room & would nurse him to sleep then leave his room & go back when he woke up. This worked wonderfully for us. He now puts himself to bed & pretty much stays there. Just future advice if you experience the same problem. My daughter (now 3mos) slept in my bed until about a mos ago. Now she spends most nights in her swing & I put her in my bed when she has fussy nights. You do what works best for you & your children & makes you all happy. Just find a doctor who agrees with you, they're out there. Good luck. Oh & don't worry about breaking him of the habbit of sleeping with you, I have yet to meet a teenager still cosleeping:) They grow up quick enough, why push it.

Like I said before, we had our baby sleep in our bed, too, for the same reason, and when he was down to only one feeding at night, we began putting him in his own bed. We would put him to bed around 8:30pm; and at first, we'd have to go in there a few times to reassure him that we were still there, but it was not a big deal. That only lasted a week. After that, he had no problems at all. He prefers his own bed over ours!

Hi R., I did the same thing as you. It was easier for me and also felt great having my little one there between my husband and me. Now she is 17 1/2 months old and still sleeps in the same spot (in the middle). She is a lot bigger and takes up ALOT more space. haha. There are pack and plays that the side opens and they are sleeping right next to you. Cosleepers, I think. Just so you know, you will become her lovey-It is a good thing but when she grows up it can sometimes be a little inconvenient. So many people raise their children so many different ways. People will tell you your wrong and some will say your right. Do what you feel is right. Take care and good luck,
K.

Hi R.. I have read the responses and I do not agree with all of them. I wouldn't do it. I did not have my daughter sleep in our bed with us. I was lucky - she slept in a bassinette until she was 4 weeks old and then went into her crib. She slept through the night at 4 weeks old. She is now three and a half and I have to lay down with her to get her to go to sleep. She could always go to sleep in her crib by herself but moving her into her "big bed" caused some issues. Do you have a small crib that you can put in your room so it is easier for you when the baby nurses?

As one of the responses says, I don't think you need to find another pediatrician over this issue.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

3 of our 4 children slept with us. We never regretted the decision. We are a very close family and I believe that co-sleeping helped create that closeness. Yes, you sometimes wish you had more space, but I'd do it again. The only thing we did that I don't know if you're doing, is putting a pillow length-wise in between you and your husband and laying the baby on it. I'm sure you've been told of the danger of rolling over onto the baby...this kept the baby higher. All of our kids are in their own beds and go to sleep on their own every night. I'm a big believer that different things work for different people...you have to do what's best for your family!

Best of luck,
B.

This is a great thing as long as you are using safety measures.I totally agree with the family bed thing and have put it to the test.With my first two I brought them to bed with me and really enjoyed being close but was always scared of hurting them.So when my third was born I broke down and bought a "Snuggle Nest" bought at Babies R Us.I ended up loving it.Not worrying about crushed or suffucating my baby was great.We all slept better.I have recommended it to friends and family.Everyone has thought the same thing and thanked me for being the tester.Let me know how it's going.
-S

R., First of all, I would like to say that I don't think you are doing "a bad thing". You have to do what works for you and your family. A 2 month old not sleeping through the night is not unusual. My daughter didn't either and she was in her own crib, but in our room. Also, just beware that your baby may not want to leave your bed once you are ready for him to. If you find that to be the case, he can still be trained to sleep on his own, in his own bed, it will just take some training on his part and some patience on your part. Also, not to scare you, but I know 2 people that had a baby suffucate while sleeping with them. They, too, thought it would never happen to them and were not neglectful people. Have you thought about a co-sleeper? Good luck with everything.

My mother did that for me and all of my sisters (4) of us. From my understanding it is what they did in the "olden days"
We did not grow up with any "adverse affects" that I know of and no on ever said it was "bad".
I am from Canada and was myself told to do it for my son.
I think the reason your docter may be telling you not to, is so he doesn't get sued if you accidentally roll over on your baby, which wouldn't suprise me as the US seems like a place where everyone is worried about getting sued. It is not like that in Canada. I had not had a Dr in Canada tell me that was a bad thing and my mother is a RN.

I did the same thing with my daughter, who is now going on 5 months- she sleeps in her crib now. When you have a new baby, sleep is a precious commodity, and whatever it takes to get it and take care of your baby- do it. As long as your son is in a safe spot, you should be fine. Do you put him in his crib for naps? I did that with my daughter and it worked out great. Her crib is still at the foot of our bed (we have a one bedroom apt) but she sleeps through the night and if she wakes up, she falls right back to sleep. Babies actually do better later on in their development if they know that all their needs are met early on and it sounds like you're doing a great job. America is one of the few countries that looks down on the "family" bed or bedroom. My daughter will have her own room soon, but I'll tell you, I was raised the same way, and I'm ok. Just make sure you and daddy still have some time alone in bed too!!!

We coslept with my daughter for full nights until she was 8 weeks old, and then after that we'd bring her to bed with us after her first wake up and she stayed like that until she slept through the night at 4.5 mos. There's nothing wrong with cosleeping as long as you and your husband are both comfortable with it.

I have a friend who coslept with her daughter until she was 17 months, and then transitioned her to a toddler bed. She took to it like a champ and never looked back, so you do what you're comfortable with.

My son is 13 months and he still sleeps in bed with me. He sleeps much better. All pediatricians says it's a bad thing to do, but it's either let your child wake up 10x a night or make them comfortable and let them sleep with you. I think it's fine. But you have to make sure that once they get to a certain age you must start putting them in their own bed. I am weighing my options right now on weather to buy my son a toddler bed or go back to the crib. But my son HATES his crib. So as long as you don't let them sleep with you until they are 2 or 3 YOU WILL BE FINE!!! Good Luck!!!

Hi, You are not doing a bad thing!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept my babies in bed with me for the first few months. It gave me a greater peace of mind and I enjoyed the bonding experience. All three of them have turned out fine and still slept through the night after I put them in their cribs. You also need your rest and while you are still nursing through the night it makes it easier on you. You'll know when it's time to place the baby in the crib. I waited until about 4 months on my first and three on the other two.

Lay back and enjoy the closeness of being with your child.

You're doing a great job.

I don't think so, he's only 2 months. I would wait to about 6 months and then really press the issue of him sleeping in his own crib. but for now you need your rest for work and especially if you're breastfeeding its so much easier with him right there. HOwever I would suggest that even if he's in the bed with you I'd cut back on the feedings at night by 3 months because by then I believe you can give him cereal?? (if not 3 months then whenever it is)... as I was saying ;) it becomes more of a habit for him and not hunger so the earlier you stop it the better off you are.

I really have to disagree with your pedi on this one. Humans are social animals, we need & want others near us. Especially when we are 'vulnerable' like a brand new baby. Your baby has been cuddled up in your body for 40 weeks, he needs to still be near you.
There are somethings you should do to make it a safe place for a baby to sleep. You should do an online search to make sure this list is complete- but off the top of my head you should; put your bed on the floor or on a very low frame. Store your headboard & footboard until you stop co-sleeping; the baby could get stuck between the mattress and the boards otherwise. Don't sleep in nightgowns with string style sleeves- my daughter at 5 months actually got caught in my PJs, it was quite scary but thank God she was alright. Do not use extra pillows or blankets on the bed. Do not co-sleep on a water bed. Keep your bed away from window treatments that are long, and flowy or that have strings. If you or your husband has to take medication that makes you tired, the baby needs to sleep in a crib until you are off of the medicine. If you have a couple of drinks (or more) you shouldn't co-sleep on that night.
Most of the world co-sleeps. Babies feel safe, and their needs are met quickly when they are with you. Those who will tell you that you are 'spoiling' your baby are mistaken. Babies who feel safe, and secure are naturally more independant. If you choose to co-sleep for an extended amount of time, you will find your child will move to his own bed when he's ready and wants more privacy. My children are now 17, 13 and 4. The oldest & middle co-slept until about 6, the little guy is starting to sleep in his own bed now. My husband and I have always had enough 'adult/alone time' with a little creativity.
Best of luck to you-
D.

When my twin sons were first born I had to pull them into bed to sleep with us a lot also. I was so scared that I would eventually have to break them of this and it would be hard (a woman I work with has a 3 year old that has to sleep in bed with them and she is having all kinds of problems breaking him of this habit), so I asked and my pediatrician said up until 2 months it's fine but afterwards we should try swaddeling them. That's what we did and it worked like a charm! We swaddeled them with receiving blankets and they liked being wrapped up tight and being warm and it helped them sleep better than ever. They started sleeping 12 hours at night! Swaddeling was the best thing we ever did! Plus it cuts down on the risk of SIDS and is such a huge help. I thought breaking them of it would be so hard because I never heard them cry at night, but we only had problems 1 night and for half an hour. Now they sleep great and always through the night!

I have a two month old myself and I had the same problem at first. The key is to get him/her on a schedule. I know, I know, it is easier said than done, but, unfortunately that is part of being a mom. Now I am no wiser than you on the whole thing, being a first time mom and all, but I do know what has worked for me so far. I am also still on maternity leave so it might be easier for me because I am home with her all day, but here is my advice... Make sure she gets a nap in the afternoon, but not too long of one. I know it is so easy to want to let them keep sleeping. I mean, how else would we get any thing done? I won't let my daughter nap for more than 2-3 hours during the day. At night she is exhausted and will usually fall asleep during her last feeding. (I am breast feeding so that is pretty common.) I will burp her and wait a few minutes to make sure that she is sound asleep and I quietly sneak her into her cradle. She wakes up at the same time every morning like clock work. I pull her into bed and feed her. Once she falls back to sleep I sneak her into the cradle again. This part is tricky because it is hard to stay awake until they fall asleep, but it is she only way. I must admit that I have been known to cheat and kick my husband out of the bed so I can just let her sleep next to me for the remainder of the night. Good luck!

I think its fine that you are sleeping with your child, despite what the doctor says. I can see him being concerned for safety reasons, but telling you its for your own good seems a little silly. You need to do what works best for you. My little girl is almost 3 months and we slept with her in the bed and now she sleeps in a co-sleeper attached to the bed. I was told by the nurse at the hospital that I gave birth in that the US is one of the only countires that doesnt sleep with their children...why? Waiting for the baby to be screaming for food makes for a long night...I would keep doing what your doing, your the mom, you know best! Good luck!

As a mom of a two year old son I have been battling which bed he will sleep in since he was born. I have tried numerous times and ways for him to sleep in his own bed...my mom and other mothers who have been through this tell me that when he or she is ready they will sleep in their beds...The best thing I tried for a clingy baby is put ur bed and the crib next to each other when they are old enough they will understand but for only two months old as long as u have a barrier to protect the child from being rolled on or suffocation u r just fine...take this from a mom who has had many sleepless nights...the drs are not worth worrying over!
much love n luck!
L.

Hi R.
I think you are doing a wonderful job.
i did the same for my son until he was 6 months old
after that I tried to put him in his crib(succesful but only after a months trying).
now he is three and happily sleeps in his own bed.
So dont worry about that ,your baby is only 2 months old ,you still have plenty of time ,just take it easy and bond with your baby.

good luck
S.

Hi R.,
I did something similiar with my baby who is now 6 months old. Until she was 4 1/2 months old, she slept in a co-sleeper next to our bed for the very same reason. It made it so much easier to nurse her at night, and I felt a whole lot more comfortable picking her up when I first heard her wake rather than letting her scream to wake us. When she and I were both ready, I then moved her to her crib in her own room. I waited until she was sleeping more through the night to make getting up to nurse her easier on myself, then I brought her to my room, nursed her in bed and then returned her back to her crib. That worked out really well for my daughter, husband and I until she was sleeping through the night.

I believe in talking to your pediatrician about your parenting, but ultimately you need to do what is best and most comfortable for you and your family.
D.

YOU are the momma...YOU make the choices you believe are best for your baby! Medical advice changes all the time! I've had two babies in two years and advice was different for both of them! I let my infant sleep with me in the beginning while I was nursing. When he fell asleep, I'd place him in his bassinet next to my bed. I didn't have to go far when he woke up. This way, he's right there near you, can hear you, and at the same time is getting used to being in a bed by himself! If you'd prefer him sleeping in your bed, you can get a co-sleeper bed for him....its like a little bed you put in the middle of your bed. That way, the sides will prevent you from rolling on top of him! I put my son in his own crib in his own room when he was about 4 months and he did great! Remember, you are the momma and you know whats best for your baby!!

ok, mine started when he was about 6months. it was cause he was really isck; they said he could choke. so ye i had him in my bed for both our sake. ok and now he's 3 and he still sneaks from his bed to mien (but thats early in the am). anyhow. when ur ready do it. it wont do either of you any good if your tired from bein up all night. and eventtually youll get her back in her bed. and let me tell you . my child is a lover. and i think it;'s part of it . he snuggles me day and night. so i havent seen a down side.

get a new pediatrician... if you dont have one who supports you and your choices then you need to find a new person.. always remind yourself you are the parent and if it works for you and you feel its right for you and your child then do it.. my baby slept with me till 3 months and it made night time feedsings so much easier then I moved her to the side of my bed for a few weeks then to her crib and shes great..

Well my daughter slept with me until she was 5. Granted I was living with my parents so she didn't have her own room, but it didn't bother me at all, I actually liked it. People will say it's not right, but what ever you feel is right for your child is all that matters.

My daugher slept with us up until she was 14 months, she is now 15 months, we just transitioned her to her crib :( My ped didn't think it was a good idea either, but you have to do what is right for your family! I go to my ped for medical advice not parenting advice. As long as it works for you and you take the necessary co-sleeping percautions it is just fine. In fact I think a lot of people sleep with thier kids they just don't advertise it, but if you ask other mothers, I think you will find a lot of people do it!

Keep doing what works best for you and don't worry what other people think. A lot of people told us not to do it (including my mother) because you will never get them out of your bed, but like I said before, my daughter sleeps in her crib all night now! I just had to look for the signs that she was ready to do it. If I had tried to force it sooner, it would have been a tough transition.

I am right there with you. I have a 3 month old that does not sleep through the night yet, and we noticed that when he is in bed with me or my husband(we take turns sleeping on the couch) he does a lot better. I do put him in his crib from time to time, and he crys, but a little at a time helps. Not only that but I have a 23 month old daughter who wants my undivided attention during the day, so I need some rest. They will out grow this and eventually sleep in there cribs! Pediatricians are like a book they tell you what they were taught in school, not what they actually experienced. So Good luck and enjoy your cuddle time with your child. I am!

Forget the pediatrician's scolding. He doesn't know what's best for your baby--you do! If co-sleeping makes you happy and makes him happy, then this is what works. Doing it now doesn't mean it's permanent. If you talk to parents you know, you'll find that many of them shared sleep with their babies, and it's a perfectly normal thing done by families all around the world all throughout time. I would strongly encourage you to read _The Baby Book_ by Dr. William Sears. He's a pediatrician and an experienced dad, and he firmly endorses co-sleeping. My husband and I co-sleep with our fifteen month old son and have since he was born. We all sleep better and wake happier.

R.,
You can purchase a sort of co-sleeper that you place in the middle of the bed with you for the baby to sleep in. The exact name escapes me, but they sell them at Babies-R-Us for around $50 dollars. The bed provides some added protection for the baby and moms love them. There is a size and weight limit on them but it helps early on. As your baby begins to skip feedings he can then begin sleeping in his own bed. You may already know this, but there are co-sleepers that butt directly up to your bed so you have easy access to your baby and doesn't require you to get out of bed. Just remember not to drink alcohol or take any meds that cause drowsiness while sleeping with the baby. The only problem one mom had was keeping her cat out of the bed!
Good Luck,
T. RN

Our son is 3 months and for the first month he slept NEXT to our bed so that I could easily nurse him and then put him back in his bassinet so that we could all sleep soundly. There are just so many inherent dangers to having an infant in bed with you, rolling over, suffocation, over heating, and intense separation anxiety when you finally have to put him in a crib. Use a baby monitor right next to your head. YOu'll hear him right away, and he won't have to work himself into a frenzy to get fed. I moved our son into his crib for naps after 3 weeks, and for night time at about 2 months. I get up once a night to feed him for about 15-20 minutes and we both go right back to sleep.
good luck
M.

If it works for you, then you are not doing anything wrong. Make sure your bed is free of objects that the baby might suffocate on, and enjoy the extra cuddling. Both of my little ones (3 1/2 and 9 mos) were in a bassinet next to my bed until 5months oldand many nights slept the rest of the night in bed with me after the first middle of the night feeding. When mommy has some sleep the whole family is happier.Plan to move them out once they start sleeping longer or they may be there for a long time. My neice stayed in her parents bed until she was 6 and my sister-in-law bribed her into her own bed.
Good luck. It does get better.
D.

When your baby gets older he will expect to sleep in your bed all the time!! What I did was I put my son in his own crib before it was time for me to go to bed, yes he cried but before u know it the baby will become used to sleeping in his crib.(thats what I did).

I don't think this is a bad thing. In many countries bed sharing is common. I shared with my first born. My second was not interested. The only thing I will warn about (other than the obvious, suffocation, or Sids) is that my son who is 5 still wants to sleep with us. We are kinda like his blankie. The older he gets, the better he gets with this, but it is something to keep in mind. Also, remember your personal time with your significant other......I enjoyed bed sharing, and do not regret it in the least

R.,

after reading some of the replies that you received, I must say, I have to agree with the rest of the ladies. I have an 8 month old that has slept in her own bed from day one. She did not sleep through the night until she was about four months old. And, when she would wake up, I would feed her, change her, and put her back in her own bed. I have no regrets. I have several friends with infants of various ages that they can't break from sleeping in bed with parents. I have no worries about that since my daughter already sleeps in her own bed, and is comfortable there. Also, I feel that I have a better quality of sleep because I don't have to worry about rolling on her, and so does she. She doesn't have to be woken up each time my husband or I move. And that is not to mention that is just plain safer for your child to sleep in a crib or basinette. What about putting the basinette right next to your bed?

hi, i think it is the best thing. i have a 16 month old, and he sleeps with me and has been since he was born. i am a light sleeper so i always knew right away when he is up or anything. i think it made the bond between us that much stronger, but i too have heard all the "you shouldn't do that's". he has no problem taking naps during the day by himself in the playpen, or on the couch.

meg

hell no - you are doing the right thing for you and the sanity of all involved!!! is your pediatrician there at 3am??? i love my kids' dr. but i knew from the get-go he wasn't into my babes in the bed with me so i spared his feelings and never told him. trust me when i tell you - my 4 month old is is now in his own bed and sleeping 12-15 hrs a night!!! (i stopped breastfeeding when he turned 4 months) however - my 1st child (i did the same 4 month stop breastfeeding thing) still woke up for feedings 1x / night until she was 7 months but that was because we were in a 1 bedroom apt at the time and we couldn't help but arouse her when we were trying to get to bed! only the mom and dad know what's best and if it feels right, keep on doing what you're doing!

I have co slept with all my kids and our ped. said it was fine as to move them to there own bed by one. I love it and it is another bonding way. i never breastfed. I have an almost 2 month old and im doing it again. if you feel happy and you think you are doing the right thing than you are. docs are there to give you advice and to take care of your kids, they dont always know what is best for you and your family.

I think it�s time you might want to think about a new Dr. One not so judgmental. Who does he think he is!!!

My best advice is to listen to everyone�s �stories�, but you do what works for you and your family.

My daughter, who is 19 months now, was like that too. She didn�t want to sleep alone, and you could forget about the crib. Like you I worked, and I needed to wake up in the morning, and I was willing to do anything I needed to do to sleep, but I didn�t want her to get use to my bed, nor did I want to disturb my husband. So for the first few months I slept with her on the couch. Then I moved her into one of her chairs, which she couldn�t get out off on her own. It was one of those vibrating ones that played music. Eventually I got to sleep in my bed, and she slept on the floor next to me on her crib mattress, but of course being the nervous first time mom I was up every hour making sure she was ok. Then we got a twin bed, and the baby rails, and we (my daughter and I) slept in it together. Now she sleeps by herself, well at least half the night by herself. We have the baby gate up and when she wakes up I go in and comfort her. To be honest, if I didn�t have to get up in the morning I would just go back to my bed, but since it�s EASIER to just curl up with her, that is what I do. Besides, we get so little time with them, and it goes by so fast.

To sum it up; Do what you got to do!!!!! Weight your goods with your bads, and choose what�s best for you. Remember every choose has a consequence, so choose the one you can live with. I CHOOSE to sleep; my cost is I don�t do it in my bed next to my husband. And the reality is I might have to do this for a long time. OH well, I want to sleep!!

Good luck!! Which ever way YOU choose.

i think what you are doing is fine. we also did the same thing from time to time with all 4 of our kids. you sometimes need that closeness with your baby and it does make for a very restful night.

Hi R.!

I don't think that you are doing a bad thing. My daughter slept next to me for the first 2 and half months because it was easier on me, even though I didn't get as much rest as I would have liked. My daughter is now almost 5 months old and sleeps in her crib just fine. She has slept with us a few times since then, especially now that she has started teething.

I hope this eases your mind!

B.

Hi
i don't think you are.I did the same thing with my 9 month old daughter and it was better for the both of us.The thing is that now she won't sleep alone at night,i guess that's the down side.Or maybe i should have weened her away a little earlier.All in all it was the best for us both.

Hi R.,

I am a mom who let my daughter (now 4) sleep in bed with us and I think, if it's working for you, go with it. That is one of the things that everyone forgets to tell you when they are all giving you advice.

Co-sleeping in the same bed actually increases the risk of suffocation and/or SIDS, so you may want to check into the bassinet attachments that fit directly on the side of your bed giving the baby his own sleep space. Co-sleeping in the same room reduces the risk of suffocation and SIDS... so if you could find one of those attachments or simply move his crib into your room and keep it next to your bed, that would be the perfect compromise.

The attachments are called Co-Sleepers.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-co-sleeper.htm

First and foremost GET A NEW PEDIATRICIAN!!!!!!! How dare that Dr. tell you the mother that you are not doing the best for your child. There are hundreds of cases and cultures that sleep in a family bed. The baby is 2 months he just spent the lst 9 months next to you, smelling you , cuddling to you warmth, hearing your, heart beat, being 1 with you. He has no idea that he is a separate person yet. They have no sense of self. Now for the other part to the answer. I am a mother of 2 children. 5 1/2 & 2 years. my first co-slept with my husband and I until she was 3 1/2 just about the time her brother was born. Before the second birth we went shopping for a big girl bedroom set - she helped pick it out. moved her in - she has been there ever since. never jealous of her brothers sleeping with us either. And yes currently my little boy is still co-sleeping with us. He sleeps much more soundly when he can feel that mom is right next to him.

I hope this helps.
B.

I did not do co sleeping, but I see nothing wrong with it. Be prepared for the lack of alone time with you and your husband, and both waking up when the baby does. If this is what you want, do it. Who cares what others say, besides it is a good reason to not have to have sex with the husband for a few months :)

My twins were preemies, so they needed to be near as they were tiny and quiet when they came home. Because there were two, our bed was not an option,so instead, we had a pack and play that turned into a bassinet, so they were much closer to the top, that stayed right next to me. This way, babies were right there when they woke to be fed or changed, up until they were about 4 months. Until they were about 7 months old, they cobedded with each other..... it worked out well. It's fine when they're little, but once baby's bigger, get them into a crib or bed, it will make it much easier for you and hubby.

When my son was born, he wouldn't sleep unless he was touching me. He slept in our bed until he was 1 month old. I didn't want him to get in the habit of sleeping with me either. I had his pack and play set up as a bassinet for him since before he was born and I thought he'd sleep there because I was nursing. But he only slept if he was next to me. I would try about once a week to get him to sleep in the pack and play, and he finally started to sleep there when he was 1 month old. This gave me my own space and he was still within arms reach. He finally slept in his own room at 2 months old. You are not hurting your child. Lots of people co-sleep. You DO have to be careful. There are lots of suffication hazards in an adult bed. Blankets,loose sheets and pillows can be dangerous. There are several books out there that are on this subject. You just have to find what works for you. The average child doesn't sleep through the night until 6 months old so be prepared for the long haul.

My daughter is 2 years old and still starts out in our bed and then one of us transfers her to her crib once she falls asleep. My thoughts are that babies are only little for a short time; nowadays at age 2 the "professionals" expect them to practically know their ABC's. Your little guy loves being with his mommy - his favorite thing in this whole wide world - and if you feel good and happy inside (about the sleeping arrangements & any other parenting issue) imagine how he feels - pure bliss... and he doesn't even know that's what it is; to him he's content and that's all that matters!!! Forget about what the doctor tells you regarding the sleeping arrangements - his wife probably gets to stay at home with his kids... Enjoy the cuddles while you can in about 4 years he won't even like "GURRRLS" as my 4 year old nephew says!!!

Get a new pediatrician! :)
There are many safe and secure ways to sleep with your baby. Both of my daughters slept with us until they were almost a year old. I look back on those nights as the happiest in my life! I'm not saying I wasn't happy when they starting sleeping in their own room- but I do miss those snuggly, cuddly nights!
You just have to know how to be safe. Don't use extra pillows-use only a light sheet and blanket and tuck it in at the foot of the bed to make sure it doesn't work up to cover the baby while you are sleeping.
My husband is a much deeper sleeper than I am. Somehow I just seemed to have a sixth sense about my daughters- I never felt like they were unsafe in our bed. But since I did worry about my husband- I purchased a great bedrail- one that fits very snugly against my bed so there were no gaps- I actually had to purchase and return several before I found one that fit tight enough to make me happy! My daughter would sleep between the bed rail and my body so she was never between my husband and I.
I highly recommend that you read the Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting book. It is priceless and will really help you feel better about your decision. It gives you tips on how to do it safely and gives you the reasons why it is so healthy and beneficial.
Once you start talking about this you will be surprised how many parents actually do sleep with their babies! I was!
Good luck- and feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions. I am always a strong advocate for co-sleeping!
-S.

You need to remember one thing whenever you receive advice from others. They are not you. There will be many things that work for you and your family and there will be much advice that does not work. You simply pick the stuff that works & FORGET the rest.
Co- sleeping is one of those hot topics in early child care. On any given moment you could find 100 advicates for it & 100 against it. Both of our children slept in our bed & they are very healthy children. My future children will have the same option available to them. I feel I was able to be a better mother too (I slept much better) We did come to a point when those wiggily little hands and feet repeatedly woke us up & then they had to get used to their own bed.
Bottom line if you or your husband are super sound sleepers or if you consume alcahol before bed or take sleeping aids, It would not be safe to co-sleep. If you are both normal sleepers & there is no way the baby could be harmed in your bed than.... Use what works for you & forget the rest.

your babay is 2 months old?? mant pediatricians recommend co slepping for infants who r breast fed until they r 3-4 months old then transtition them to there crib. Begin playinmg some soothing music at bed time for your babay so when you do transitioning him back to his room the music can go with him and he will be comforted. I have to say my good friend told me her pedi told her to do this and I was shock and told her not to NO WAY. but it has worked for them. and she did not breast feed. My son is 3 and he still finds comfort in coming into our room in the early am hours. I used to walk him back to his room 3-5 times a night I was exhausted. Now he wakes 1 time usually 3-5am, and he gets in his sleeping bag on my floor and sleeps till 7:30-8 am We r al much happier. An excellent resource for me was sleepless in america A grreat book for infants and toddlers. Good luck and keep doing what works or find a new pedi who has views like yours.

Hi R.,

Please do some research on "attachment parenting" and letting baby sleep with you. I have done much reading and I have found the general consensus from those who have actually had the experience of letting their child share sleep time, is it helps to develop much security and a more independant child! (as opposed to the old school of thought)
Which for me translates to a "good" thing.
I know this style of parenting isn't for everyone but it may be just right for you. I know that it has helped me to get the much needed rest I would have otherwise gone without. Most importantly though, trust your intuition & not the suggustions from those who haven't had the experience.
Oh, and I am certain there is a pediatrition out there who is a better fit.
Happy Mothering!
s

Hi R.,
I have a 22 months old and she's been sleeping in bed with me all this time. I'm still nursing and she still likes her morning "snack" when she wakes up even though she's not nursing during the night anymore. Because she's been sleeping next to me, nightly nursing has been a breeze and my husband, my daughter and me never had a sleepless night. I think it's more natural for infants to sleep with their mothers. After all, all mammals sleep with their young, so why should we be any different? If you need more reassurance that you're doing the right thing (most important the right thing to do is the thing that works the best for you and your baby and makes both of you happy) read dr. Sears ("The baby book") who is a big advocate of co-sleeping.

I can't believe your ped said that! I understand that people have different opinions on co-sleeping, but to attack it so strongly, and accuse you of being selfish - what nerve! I would strongly consider changing doctors.

I have co-slept with both my children (my son, who is 5 months, is still sleeping wiht us). My daughter easily transitioned to a crib in her own room at about 3 or 4 months (we moved her when she was able to get through the night with only one waking). So it won't necessarily be a battle to get him into his own space when he's older. If I didn't co-sleep I'd be insane by now with sleep loss (my son is a big eater and wakes up frequently).

As one of the previous posters said, check out Dr. Sears.

there is a basket you can buy that you put in the middle of your bed they are called moses baskets they sell them at babies r us its safer so you dont have to worry about rolling over on your baby.go to babiesrus.com and put moses basket in the search field.

It seems like some people treat co-sleeping like a dirty little secret that no one talks about. We co-slept with our daughter until she was about 6 months. The only reason we stopped was that I had to have minor surgery and I couldn't sleep with her while I was on pain meds and didn't want her to accidently hit me in my incision area.

My husband did have to do a little sleep training to get her used to going to sleep on her own but it only took 2 days. We still partially co-sleep with her. She sleeps in her crib during naps and goes in her crib when we put her down for the night. She gets up for one feed a night, which I do in our bed. Sometimes we all fall asleep and don't wake up until morning.

I don't discuss this with my mother because she disapproves of co-sleeping and thinks we are spoiling our daughter and ruining her sleep habits. However, our daughter is one of the happiest babies I have ever seen.

Ask your pediatrician what he thinks of Dr. Sears. He's a pediatrician who recommends co-sleeping ;-)

Just remember the risk of co-sleeping. 40 infants a year in AGH county die from co-sleeping. I have done it and many other too, but you are only setting yourself up for long term of sleeping with you child. You must remeber that a 2 month old should not be sleeping through the night. Infants that young can not substain with out food for more that 5-6 hours. I know its hard to decide what to do and what is best for you and your child.

Go with your instincts! Know that know matter what your doctor tells you, it is still your child. When she was two (and we were still haveing the sleep battle, after trying CIO and the advice of all the books and friends), she said, "how come I have to sleep alone, you and daddy don't sleep alone". I didn't really have a good answer.. I finally told her, you have to go to sleep in your room, but if you wake up in the middle of the night and feel scared, you can come into our room. We have all been sleeping much better ever since.

Now, she is almost 4, and still crawls into bed with us. Most of the time I don't even wake up when she comes into our bed, I just see here there in the morning. I like that if she feels scared or lonely, she can have the security of coming into mommy and daddy's room in the middle of the night, (without even waking us up).

Good luck, and hang in there!

I have a 10 month old and she has gone to bed in her crib from day one. I do let her come into our bed at 4-5 in the morning and stay til we all get up. That helped me get some sleep, but she also learned to go to sleep on her own. You have to do what works for you, no one can tell you what's right or wrong for your child.
Good luck!

I didn't read the original message. Are you using a cosleeping bassinet? It attaches to the bed, but is open on the side nearest to you. It keeps the baby safe and is very convenient. I actually think you can rent them to save a little money. Check it out online. I don't think there is anything wrong with co-sleeping, as long as the baby is safe. You need to do what is right for YOU! The first 6 months are the toughest. Hang in there.

Hi R., Mothers have been sleeping with their babies since the beginning of time. Remember that evolutionarily the crib and the monitor down the hall are a very new thing! There is even some evidence that co-sleeping reduces SIDS. You and your baby are a team, and what benefits one of you benefits the other. I would suggest going with your instincts and finding a new (better informed) pediatrician. There are lots of books and web sites supporting co-sleeping. La Leche League (www.lalecheleague.org) is a great source og breastfeeding and co-sleeping support, if you want to find other mothers who co-sleep (or did and then moved their babies out--don't worry it won't be forever). Good luck! J. Brill, CCE

No, you are not doing a bad thing at all...This is all too familar with me.Even though you may not know if you are doing the right thing, you know your baby better than anyone. I allowed my daughter to sleep with me while I was breastfeeding for 4 months, she woke up about 3 times a night to eat.I was right there.I did it for the both of us. We all know as moms, that if you stur a baby too much at night, they will actually wake up, and think it is playtime. Around 5 months, she actually started soothing herself, and I was able to eventually get her into her own bed. It took about a week,but she eventually figured out that, that is where she sleeps.It was harder for me to put her in the crib and not in with me, then it was for her. Within 2 weeks she was sleeping in her crib all night for sometimes 9 hrs straight.

I did the same thing when my daughter was born. It's not wrong. I discissed it with my daughter's pediatrician, and assured me that as long as it was done safely, it was a non-issue. His stance was: both mommy and baby need as much rest as possible to maintain a helthy relationship and development, and however (safely) that end is met is okay. Our bed was a queen-sized fram that my father had built, where the matress at inside the frame. Our mattress was a full size, so we had about a foot and a half of space between the wall and the mattress. I lined this area with my daughter's crib liner and blankets and she slept in that little nook next to me. I am th ekind of person that doesn't even like to hang a foot off the mattress, so because of this, I never had the risk of rolling onto her or anything like that. There was also a 3 month period of time where the only place she woul dsleep through the night was in her swing. Her doctor did not object that either, for th esame rest needed reason, plus th efact that she was too young fo rthat to hurt her back, as babies are so flexible at that age.

R...I will not tell you what I think of your pediatrician's comments. I am doing the same thing ( and coslept w/ my 3 year old)and my pediatrician said his wife did the same as well until 6 months. A miserable Mother will make things much worse for the baby and you will both become unhappy and frustrated. Just make sure you are being safe and the baby is in no danger of being rolled over on ;), or caught up in pillows and covers. I will tell you from experience as well that once your baby will sleep through the night...transition to the crib. This will be tough...at that point you really do have to leave them in the crib and let them cry...comforting them from outside the crib. But a few nights of crying beats months of exhaustion!

R., i have the same issue with my own 2 mnth old. i let him sleep in his bassinet til he wakes up to feed then the rest of the night he sleeps with me. i used his car seat for a while b4 putting him in the bassinet but get one of those travel bassinets so u can put him next to you on the bed. i had to stop breast feeding because he was nursing every hour on the hour and its possible your milk isnt satisfying him like mine wasnt so try supplementing him with formula and see how that helps him sleep.If thast helps then that is the main problem.

i had the same problam with me son when we moved up here from nc he did not like the crib mattess so if you can try to put a big boy,s mattess on the floor that way if the baby falls he/she will not fall far but that helped him sleep in his own room with out me it is good for a baby to cry a lettl if you want you can put the mattess on the floor in your room
hope this hepls
B. r

Hi R.,
First off, you are not doing anything wrong and second, your child's pediatrician sounds like a jerk. My daughter is 3 years old and still sleeps with me (partly b/c we don't have enough room for a bedroom for her). I am only 24 and I'm still in school and also was when I had my daughter. She would wake up and cry and I started to bring her into bed with me to give her a bottle and we'd both end up falling asleep. However she began sleeping through the night. I kept up the co-sleeping since then and I don't see anything wrong with it. She's happy, I'm happy and we both are sleeping fine. Some people argue that the kid will never want to leave your bed and will grow too attached but I think it's a bunch of bologna! Do what you need to do b/c in the end what matters most is what YOU think is the best for your baby (and for you too). Good luck!

M.

We allowed our little one to sleep in the bed for us, and while it was good, its also bad. When we want time to ourselves, its not possible, because she wakes up constantly in her crib. I am just now getting her to sleep in her crib during the day, and maybe 4 hours at night. She is 7 weeks old.

When my son (12 yrs) was a baby, he didn't sleep in his own bed until he was 2. Once you start that habit, it is very hard to break.

R.
I co-slept with my son (now 5 1/2) for a long time. Breastfeeding was easier, I got to sleep more and I liked having him near. That said, I do know that it can be dangerous so perhaps if I were to do it again I would buy a co-sleeper crib to be next to my bed. Your pediatrician I am assuming has never breastfed a baby before so listen to your own instincts and do what makes you and your family happy.I do have to warn you that breaking a baby of co-sleeping can be hard to do once they sleep through the night and nursing is not demanded. Be prepared for some tough times, I tried the Ferber method to much heartbreaking cries but it worked and my son is a well-adjusted happy boy who sleeps alone.
Good luck.

hello R.! if you are happy with him sleeping with you, and he is happy sleeping with you than by all means, share the bed! i hate it when peds give their *opionion* as fact just because they are the "expert". you know your baby better than anyone else.

i have shared sleep with both of my kids(7 and 3), and my 3 year old is still sleeping in the bed with us. :) we set up a smaller bed next to ours on the same level where they are welcome to sleep, as well as snuggled next to mom and dad when they want to. we had 4 in the bed for a while when my second was born.

i just see it as a normal part of parenting. not to mention easier! like someone else mentioned, we are one of the only nations that consistantly do not sleep with their children. that's a pretty good argument right there that it is not a bad thing to do!

my kids are not overly attached to me, they are both very independent little beings, who know they are loved. sharing sleep and that closeness at night i think has a lot to do with it. it's also been proven that when mothers sleep next to their new babies, they start to sleep in the same rythms, and it's listening to the mothers breathing and heartbeat that help the baby to learn and remember to breathe at night. (dr. sears has done some good studies on this if you want to read up)

do what feels right, and you can't go wrong. :)

OMG. Pediatricians always make it seem like we know nothing. don't let them sleep with you, teething DOESN"T cause fevers (yea right) and picking them up too much makes them spoiled.

First of all, we are one of the only cultures whose children do NOT sleep with us until they are older. Most other cultures think we are completely insane to let our children sleep alone.

There is a new trend out there (for us westerners) that suggests that the children who in fact DO sleep with mom are happier, better adjusted, and healthier.

My son who will be 4 in December pretty much slept with me until about 4 months or so ago. He sleeps now in a bed by himself. He's independent, he's not a mama's boy any more than any other 4 year old is, and he's well adjusted.

YOU are the mom, and as long as you know that your child is happier - then go with that. Just be honest with yourself about it. If you ahve to sleep without your child for a night and can't - and the baby sleeps through the night no problem (at some later point) then it's you.

But I wouldn't worry about it...there's nothing wrong with it IMO.

You need to do what works for you. I did not cosleep with my daughter but that was me. Never let anyone tell you how to raise your own kids. Like someone else said, you know you child best. Enjoy what works for you. I think every person has to do what works for them. I would suggest putting them in their crib but that is what worked for me. You have to do what works for you!

T. :)

Not at all. There are so many benefits to co-sleeping. Read Dr. Sears book on Attachment Parenting. Even if you are not a fan of attachment parenting, he lists all the good things that come with bed sharing. every doctor has a different view. in the end, you are the one who is responsible for the health and safety of your whole family. so do what is right for you. change your pediatrician if his or her views don't match yours. you definitely want docs around you that have the same views you do. I think you are doing a great thing for your whole family. don't worry. your 2 month old won't be sleeping in your bed forever. cherish these wonderful moments you have with your baby and tell your doc to take a hike. of course if you are on heavy medication or have had a few drinks, I would co-sleep.

I know i mentioned it before but don't give the baby cereal or solids until he is 6 months. it could cause some real digestive damage. i would let the baby nurse as much as needed simply because babies are supposed to nurse about every two hours.

Good luck.

Are you kidding me? Pediatricians don't know everything. My husband and I both work and have had our daughter (who is 15 weeks on Friday) sleeping with us on and off pretty much since she was born. As long as you're not sleeping in a waterbed, have a gigantic comforter, smoking in bed, under the influence or in any other way endandering your baby, forget what the doctor says. You and your partner are doing what you need to do to be a good parents to your son, and keep yourselves and baby happy, end of story. In most cultures throughout the world it is perfectly normal and acceptable for babies to sleep with their parents. For whatever reason in this country and in Europe we have this notion that we need to distance ourselves from our children when they are babies. It's crazy! You carried your son for nearly a year inside your body, why the need to separate yourself so soon? If you know that your baby is much happier, then that says it all. In most cases, parents know what is best for their child, not necessarily the doctor.

I really think this is a personal preference. There is nothing wrong with cosleeping and there is also nothing wrong with teaching your baby to sleep in their own room and learn to comfort themselves. Just be aware that there are different outcomes usually. With my first child I coslept and she still at 5 does not want to sleep in her own room which I don't mind because I enjoy snuggling with her. She will sometimes sleep in her room but I usually wake up to find that she has come into my bed. However, sometimes it does take a toll on our intimate life, LOL. I've heard some children decide at a certain age that they want to sleep in their own room after cosleeping, but in my case don't know if that will ever happen. My second child who is 3 sleeps fine in his own room by himself. However, I took the pediatrician's advice, which was at 3 months to stop cosleeping and get him into his crib and his own room and let him cry just a little bit to learn to soother himself. It was soooo hard to do but you know what he's so good at going to bed now and sleeping in his own room. I just had my third child and although I enjoy the snuggling and not having to hear her cry through the night and wake up twenty times to console her. I will be putting her in her crib at 3 months. It's just made things so much easier with my second child and he still is allowed on special occasions to sleep in my bed but he understands and enjoys having his own room and his own bed which is a blessing. Whatever you decide, it's okay. Cosleeping is also a very healthy option as long as YOU can handle that it may last for a very long time ( :

R.,

I have slept with both of my kids when they were babies and do not regret it. It provided me with the most sleep and I felt closer to them as a result. I think that you would be surprised at how many people do this. Of course, there will always be people who think its wrong, so just don't tell them. You can get a book that will agree with you, its called "The Fussy Baby Book" by Dr. William Spears.

K.

Hi. I did the EXACT same thing. Sometimes doing the best thing for you results in the best thing for your baby. If you work full time as i do, you need your sleep and you need to bond with your baby. At two months your baby needs you and physical contact. And good for you for nursing your baby! Now - with that said - my daughter is 8 3/4 and we have not been able to get her out of our bed!!! She is my only and took seven years and high tech fertility to conceive - so i am a little overly attentive!!! She is very well adjusted at school. She is confident that mom will always be there for her. Good luck with your decisions - but at this young age - you need to do what you need to do. Go with your instints. Generations and cultures have been cosleeping since the beginning of time!!

Some people fear you might roll over on your child. Personally, I am a light sleeper in a big bed. All 3 of my children spent SOME time there as infants. My middle child did not like it and he wound up in his own bed pretty quick. But my other two were constant nursers. This arrangement was better for all of us. I got the sleep I needed to be a better mother. Baby learned early on that night time was for sleeping. The downside was getting them out of my bed once they were about 14-16 months...that was hard, but they also took naps during the day on their own in their own beds, so it was not completely foreign to them.

They are all past the age of sleeping regularly with us, but everyone once in awhile they get in a cuddle with us either early in the morning or late at night. I love carrying my sleeping chilren to their rooms and they love the closeness.

In plain words, screw your doctor, you know what's best for your child. All of my kids slept with me for the same reason and now they are 9,5, and 3 and sleep in their own beds. They are confident and happy and I say that is because of sleeping with us not in spite of....we are a nation, and one of the few, that wants to put a tiny baby in a crib in another room where they are totally isolated, thinking about it makes me ill. You do what's right and trust yourself. you will know when it's time to move the baby out of the bed. I do know that I loved it as much as they did and so what....yeah, it took a little while to get them into their own beds, but we got over that too...they knew when they also wanted to sleep on their own. My 3 yr old just moved out of our bed, husband's orders because she kept kicking us and we have a king size bed. Sometimes all five of us sleep in bed, not too much anymore, but I felt like my kids were very satisfied with this arrangement. Of course, my mom and step-mother did not agree, but I did what was right for me and them. We are very close and I think that is part of it and I honestly cannot stand to hear a baby cry and couldn't do the 45 minute let them cry it out thing. Yeah, that was all me, but hey, we all lived through it, I slept, they slept, my hubby slept, and we were more pleasant to live with. My baby slept on my chest in the hospital and nurses didn't say one word about it, i knew what I was doing by my third and they respected that. I felt safer with them with me anyway.....and they slept better touching someone. I think there is nothing better than feeling your baby when you sleep!

You are not doing a bad thing! You are doign what you, as a mom, feels is right. You can't beat maternal instinct! My husband and I kep our son in our bed from birth to about 8 weeks, then moved him into a cradle next to our bed until he was about 5 months. The transition into the crib was flawless.

I'll admit to being spolied - my son only woke up once a night to eat. Once he hit 3 1/2 months - he's slept thru the night and still does. We're contemplating the 'toddler bed' now. YIKES!

Good luck and do what you feel is right for your son. A happy baby and family can't be beat by any doctor.

GOOD for you! Everyone's needs and circumstances are different. (ie: you work outside the home. I do not) Though I am a stay at home mom; I did exactly the same thing! and felt just the way you do. Happier (and baby too). I went with my "instincts" and common sense rather than going by what worked for someone else with a different child and schedule. Of course I considered what others said but the bottom line was my own decision. At 2 mos old; baby NEEDS mommy close by. I was also told it was for me and not baby; it is for BOTH of you and it is a GOOD thing. You will never have these months and time with your baby again. CHERISH EVERY MINUTE of it all. You are NOT hurting your baby! I especially believe in all this for you even MORE so because you work away from home! May God Bless your every moment together!

Hi!

I can understand that it's much more comforting to have the baby in the bed with you. For me, with both of my children, I never initiated the habit of allowing them to sleep in my bed unless they were sick, there was a wicked storm, or they awoke because of a scary dream. But as infants, I struggled and resisted the need to put either of my children in my bed. I'm glad made that choice. I know so many moms who can't get their children to sleep in their own beds. My niece just turned 3 and my sister has been trying for the longest time to get her to sleep in her own bed. I even bought her the cutest little bed and my Mom bought her all the Dora bedding. No matter what, my niece still won't sleep in any bed but my sisters. It's the same for many moms.

So, if I may share my opinion, don't let this go on for months. Do it on an as needed bases.

Best always,
T.

I agree with what most of the other mothers have said so I will try not repeat their good advice. I will offer this though. Just before my second was born my aunt,(who is a college physocolgy professor and studies child development & family dinamics and such) gave me a book to read & I have since given it to every mother with a newborn I can.

It is OUR BABIES OURSELVES by MEREDITH F SMALL. She is an anthropolgist studying biology and culture. In the begining of the book she talks about monkeys and the beginings of humans. Then how the idea of "parenting" came to be follwed by a very interesting section on how other cultures parent. The last half of the book feels more like conventinal parenting books with sections on breastfeeding, SLEEP and the section that helped me the most crying. The difference is in this book is that she discusses not only the current thoughts on these subjects but how they have changed over the generations.

The thing I remeber most of the crying section is that babie aren't really meant to cry all the time. That they cry as a way of expressing some need - hunger, tired, poopy diaper ect. but that they shouldn't need to cry often. That if you carry your baby, breastfeed, co-sleep that you will be so intuned with your baby that you will know(learn) when and what they need. I think you found out that a co-sleeping baby doesn't spend the night crying out for you to pick it up and nurse.

I could go on and on with what amazing things I have learned in this book. Check it out at your local library or go buy it today!

You are doing the right thing by sleeping with your baby. I can't believe your doctor would put you down like that saying its only for you! I would get a new doctor if he/she is so condecending of your parenting. He/she is there to help not dictate and punish. In order for you to bond well with your baby you to have to be rested and recovered. I found I had so much more energy when I could roll over and fall asleep after (sometimes during) a feeding. You will enjoy him/her much more if your bonding well and no one wants a grouchy, crabby, annoyed, mommy. Do what you believe is right for you. The doctor is not always right!

Sounds like the only bad thing you might be doing is continuing to see that pediatrician. Co-sleeping is not dangerouswhen done correctly, does make it easier to breastfeed, give extra bonding time, and is all around a good thing IF everyone involved is on board for it. We used to have a horrible time with my son and night wakings, until I stopped trying to put him back down in his own crib and started tucking him in with us. At that age, he would nurse to sleep, and I'd put him down in his crib. When he woke in the night, which wasn't every night, I'd tuck him between my husband and I till morning. I figured that was the best of both worlds. He had the opportunity to learn to be comfortable in his crib, and to sleep through the night on his own, but we were there if he needed us. He would go right back to sleep the minute I cuddled him next to me. He's two now and we've gone from having him in our bed two out of three nights to about one in ten. Also, putting him in his own crib for the first part of the night will minimize the disruption of your private time.

If you're doing a bad thing, then I did a REALLY bad thing!

My son is now 3 and up until recently he slept in bed with my husband and I. The decision to move him to his own bed was made once I was having a hard time sleeping with him there (he kicks and moves around a lot).

The time we did spend together made things so much easier for nursing, we got to spend sleep time together (which, though you're asleep, is important), and I think my son, husband and I are so close partially due to cosleeping.

Contrary to popular belief, transitioning my son to his own bed was not hard at all. We've been doing it for a month now and we simply put him to bed, kiss him goodnight, and he goes to sleep. That's it. My thoughts are that he feels so secure from never being forced to sleep alone that now he can do it, he knows if he needs something we're right in the next room and he's not afraid.

The tenet I live by is this: Do what's right for your family as long as everyone directly involved is happy with it. If you're happy sleeping with your baby and your baby is happy, don't stop doing it. Forget what some doctor says, they're not there in bed with you and if they were they'd probably have cold feet and pointy toenails anyway.

If you'd like some supporting information, check out Dr. William Sears. He writes quite a bit about the benefits of cosleeping.

I have a 10 month old who still sleeps with us in our bed and I just stopped nursing. All 3 of us love it.It depends what you are comfortbale with. My pediatrician never forced me to change it when I told him. I have a friend whose son is 1.5year old and still sleeps with them as well..they have tried few times to move him to his own room but failed...it was to hard. I can only imagine that it will be extremelly difficult for us as well.

Have you tried a bassinet right beside you so you can keep a hand on him while you sleep, or when he stirs, lay the weight & warmth of your hand on him to soothe him ? I have 4, my oldest is 22, youngest 10. I don't want to scare you, but every year infants DO DIE from sleeping in the same bed with an adult. It's really a serious danger. I did let my son fall asleep with us when he was toddler age, but moved him once he was asleep. It took a LONG time for him to fall asleep in his own bed. Just be very, very careful, especially with cold weather & heavier blanket season coming.

Your being a concerned mom, I dont see it as anything wrong but I just wanted to say if you can change his ways early....My son is now 13 and I have a soon to be 3 yr old. I bought my 13 yr old a nice pillow top bed from sleepys and my 3 yr old a red race car bed twin from toys r us......and they still try and sleep with me. Maybe they just try this because im single and just know its me in the bed but try and change it soon if you can or youll go crazy like me lol good luck ;)

I think it's ridiculous that your pediatrician has made you feel so badly about this decision. Co-sleeping is a controversial issue, but certainly there are many arguments for it, such as the comforting factor of being able to nurse on demand. Such a young baby still needs to nurse several times a night and if your baby sleeps better and feels better being near you at night to do this, then there is nothing wrong with that! If the doctor was concerned about SIDS, I would buy a snuggle-nest or similar little "bed" for the baby that can go in between you and your husband and keep the baby clear of pillows, blankets etc. Children's sleep patterns change at around six months and your baby will probably start a whole new sleep phase down the line all on his own. You will not "ruin" your child at this tiny age by letting him sleep in your bed!!! When he's 4 months or 6 months or even older, you can try and transition him out of your bed again (maybe just to a co-sleeper bassinet attached to your bed at first), especially after he is needing to nurse less often at night. My baby, who is 5 months old, sleeps in her own room, in her own crib now that she can sleep through the night without nursing (which by the way JUST started happening about 3 weeks ago), but still ends up almost every morning in my bed next to me, as she routinely wakes up to nurse at 5 or 6 am. Then, I simply leave her in bed next to me until I get up at 7:30. I LOVE this, and she seems to sleep soundly snuggling with me. Eventually, we'll transition out of this also, so she can sleep the full night in her own room, but for now- HEY! I'll take all the little baby time I can get! If you are making your baby feel loved and safe, there is nothing BAD about it! Using a little common sense to transition him out of your bed later on will keep you from ending up with a 5 year old child who can't sleep without you! Whatever works for your particular baby is what's most important.

Don't listen to the pediatrician. You are doing the right thing. My husband and I slept with our son in our bed until he was 3 months old, and he now sleeps directly next to our bed in his bassinett. I believe it gives the child a greater sense of security when their needs are meet before they need to cry. Plus when you look at animals in the wild, how many of them seperate themselves from their new child.
You're doing nothing wrong and should stand your ground! Best of luck!

As a nurse I can see your pediatricians point of view but disagree with the way he communicated it with you. Statisticaly infants that sleep in the bed with their parents are at a higher risk for SIDS. This is due to several factors...parents rolling onto the child which no one wants to believe they would do but it does happen, the child suffocating on a too soft mattress or in overwhelming bed linens, and because of the baby being overheated which is a very dangerous thing for infants. Now as a new mom I agree with co-sleeping when done safely. There are several models of co-sleeping bassinets that fit in your bed, either between you and your partner or on one side, these provide a safe sleeping environment for the baby while keeping them close to the parents. You can also use a traditional bassinet that stays on the side of your bed, some of these even have one removable side so you can slide you child into your bed for breastfeeding without getting up and interupting both of your sleep. As for trying to get your child to sleep a little longer at night between feedings if your using a bassinet and the baby starts to wimper you can easily roll over and offer your child you finger to suckle on, sometimes all they need is a little taste of mom to feel secure and lull themselves back to sleep. Co-sleeping worked for me when done safely and just last week my 3mo son started sleeping 8 hours through the night and I feel like a new person. Hope you get what you need and hope your baby is happy and safe.
PS I personally would think about looking for a new pediatrician if he/she is making you feel like a bad parent he/she is not doing their job.

R.,

Your doc is a dumb@&& and that is putting it way too politely. Find another doc ASAP or understand in your mind that you are 'just seeing' this doc because it is convenient and you can't switch and ignore him. You are doing the best possible thing you can for your baby. If you have any lingering doubts, contact someone in your local La Leche league and they will reassure you (and your husband if he has any doubts) so that you can feel confident and happy and secure in your tremendously baby-beneficial decision. You ARE doing the RIGHT thing! And if your peds doc is this bad and attempting to destroy your confidence as a breastfeeding mother, maybe consider switching from an OB/GYN to a good midwife. They would also be a very strong source of support! I am doing everything I can not to get on a soapbox about docs like this. It infuriates me that women go to them and trust them. Again, also check out www.mothering.com, laleche, etc.

Everyone has their own ways of doing things. I was too afraid to let the babies sleep with us. Both my kids had severe GERD (a.k.a. acid reflux) so of course they didn't sleep through the night maybe 7-8 months old... they had to sleep sitting up basically. So i had them sleeping in their infant car seats and i would put my son (in the beginning) on the floor next to the bed so i could nurse him or put in the pacifier instantly! then i put him gradually in his crib still in his seat...with my daughter (who just turned 10months) i slept on the couch (also b/c of csection recovery) and had her in her infant seat as well (gerd) so i could nurse her without waking up everyone (including my then 25 month old who was an early riser!) she was right on the floor next to the couch so i could just reach over and put her pacifier back in and also grab to nurse. we have the dusk/dawn candles in the windows which made nice night lights. also while trying to get her to sleep i just put my hand on her to give her comfort. still got up to eat and all but it got less and less than letting her in her room by herself and then made the transition to the crib which was not that bad. i started with nap times getting her used to her crib and eventuallynight time and finally sleep through the night!! when i put them in their cribs (both around 4months old) they were still small enough to be able to adapt well to the change. would not recommend letting them sleep with you by the time they are one then they will not get out of your bed ever! seen this happen many times (not us). but when they are that small you do what you need to to survive! they sell those little beds that attach to your bed don't know what they are called. just be carefull if the baby sleeps in your bed!

It's certainly not a bad thing, but is it the safest and wisest thing to do? As long as you feel comfortable that such a small child will not be unintentionally injured sleeping with grown adults, and that when the time comes, you will be able to successfully transition him to his own sleeping quarters, then do what feels right. This will be the first of many issues that you and your pediatrician may not see eye to eye on, so don't fret over his advice!

I do not believe this is a bad thing. Co-sleeping is a wonderful thing for both of you. Both of my children slept in our bed, and there was no downside to it for us. I used to love just lying next to them and watching them sleep. These were precious moments.
Pediatrician's differ on the subject, for different reasons. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your baby, as long as there is no danger of rolling over onto the baby. Safety is the first priority.

No, you are doing the best thing for your baby. We have been co-sleeping for close to 4 yrs now and our ped. supports it. My son is happier, and we can get our rest too. Of course when he got a little bit older, we set up his big boy bed in his room. Sometimes he goes to sleep there but comes over during the night every night.
If in your heart you know you are doing the right thing for your baby and for your family just do it.

HI. I personally don't think its a good idea. I just think it'll be hard to break later on. But he is your child and you do whats best for you and your baby. He's only 2months old too, he'll eventually start sleeping thru the night. S.

no you are not i feel if it makes everyone happy there is no right or wrong way to raise a baby use your gut it will never steer you wrong , i have three grown children and knowthe time is short so dont fret this will too pass

R.,

Those who say that co-sleeping is unsafe are simply unfamiliar with how to do it safely. Here is a great webpage from Dr. William Sears that discusses co-sleeping. https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

I love that my son sleeps with my husband and me for half the night. We wake up together, hang out in bed awhile, nurse and then start our day on a really nice note. I am not freaking out about "getting him out of my bed." When the time comes, there is a gentle, respectful way to do it and we'll cross that bridge then.

I highly recommend Dr. Sears' Baby Sleep Book ( https://www.askdrsears.com/store/detail.asp?pid=35 ). I found it to be reassuring for some of my parenting preferences that other people "warned" me about, such as co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and especially night-nursing.

I truly hope that you will listen to your heart and your natural instincts. You yourself said that things are going better to do this, so who cares what others think?!

Also, I have had more than one pediatrician give me HORRIBLE, unsound advice on issues like these. I do my own research for stuff like this.

I have a 6.5 month old who slept in the bed with us until he started crawling (though now he is in the bed with us after his morning nursing since they are more frequent at that point). There are many schools of thought about cosleeping. Drs Sears and Sears very much support cosleeping for the health and happiness of the child and parent. I am of the mindset, that if it is working for you, and you are practicing safe co-sleeping, then the Dr does not need to know. Cosleeping can be very safe. We actually bought the rails that they sell for toddler beds and have that on our bed so that we could be assured he would not fall out of the bed. Do not let him sleep between you and your husband since your husband will not be as aware as you are where the baby is. So either put the baby between you and a wall (as long as it is flush with the bed) or you and a toddler rail. Only you know what is best for you and your family. Do what feels right for you as long as you are safe.

I would advise against it. A friend of mine did it and had a HORRENDOUS time trying to get her son to sleep in his own bed when it was time. My son was 3 months old when we "trained" him to sleep through the night. I'm not a professional by any means but I think your baby is too young to sleep through the night right now. With my experience it took us 5 nights and my husband responded to him. (It wouldn't have worked if I had responded since I was breastfeeding...) The first night we let him fuss for 45 minutes, the second night was 30, third was 20, fourth was 10 and we didn't respond to him, and by the fifth night he slept the whole night through. This may sound tough but in the end it worked beautifully and now we don't have any sleep issues whatsoever. (Dash is 15 months old.) Good luck! :)

R.,
I too had a similar problem with my son (now 7). We unfortunately waited too long to break him of the habit though and now even at age 7, we are fighting every night to get him into his own bed. I agree with you that right now it is better for you and for your baby. I always hate it when the pediatricians are so judgemental. YOU know your baby better than anyone, and you know what is best for your situation. Take my advice though, and try again in a few weeks to go back to the crib. If it doesn't work, try again in a few days, but do keep trying. I know from personal experience how hard it is for both mom and baby if it goes on too long!! I will admit though that there are many times when I enjoy having him sleep with us and don't push too hard to get him in his own bed! :)...I hope this helps! Best o fluck and many restful nights!!!

Hi R., Hun don't worry about what the Pedi says. They seriously think they know it all sometimes, but take it from a mom of four when I say do what's best for you and your little one. I know how it feels. It's comforting for both you and the baby.